


Blossoming

by secretreylo



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Age Difference, Age might progress but I don't know, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Beach Holidays, Beaches, Ben is 33, Ben is in love with a teenager, Ben is like freakin rich, Breast Massage, Breast Worship, But it's a love story all the same, Character Death, Comfort Sex, Complicated Relationships, Condoms, Consensual Somnophilia, Consensual Underage Sex, Consensual spanking, Courtroom Drama, Cunnilingus, Custody Arrangements, Custody Battle, Daddy Kink, Dark fic, Dark fluff, Doggy Style, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit hand-holding, Explicitly tagging so there would be no surprises, Extremely Underage, F/M, Face-Sitting, Fellatio, Fingering, French Kissing, Frottage, Going for that gothic VC Andrews feels, Growing Pains, Growing Up, HEA, Happy Ending, I don't condone these types of relationships but this is fiction so I'm having a go at it, I don't have to explain myself to you, I'm just telling it as it is, If that squicks you out then this is not the fic for you, Kissing, Lolita, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Virginity, Making Love, Making Out, Masturbation, Mental Health Issues, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Character Death, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Past Character Death, Penis In Vagina Sex, Phone Sex, Pining, Praise Kink, Pregnancy, Pseudo-Incest, Rey and Ben have a 20 year age difference, Rey is 13, Rey is curious, Rey is extremely sheltered, Rey loses her virginity at 14, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Baby, Reylo Dark Fic, Reylo babies, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Size Difference, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Slut Shaming, Spanking, Statutory Rape, Stepfather, Stepfather/Stepdaughter - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Tags to be updated soon maybe, Teen Pregnancy, Therapy, This fic will fuck up with your psyche and perspectives, This is basically a love story between an older man and a young girl, Touching, Twisted, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Twisted relationships, Underage Kissing, Underage Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Penetration, Vaginal Sex, Walks On The Beach, You have been warned in the tags, arbitration, ben solo has issues, blowjob, damerey is there to move the plot along, english isn't my first language, if there are any attorneys out there please forgive me, infantilization, lolita vibes, read the tags, reylo darkfic, slight damerey but it's only one sided, so forgive the grammatical errors, sort of grooming, stepdaughter, suicidal, the author bends the law to suit the narrative, the author pretends she knows jack about therapy, the author pretends to know jack about law, the author watches too much of Lauren Lake's paternity court, their ages are important to the story and the overall plot, this fic is plot heavy, thoughts of abortion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2019-10-15 03:44:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 50
Words: 139,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17521358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretreylo/pseuds/secretreylo
Summary: After the death of his wife Annabelle, Ben is left to care for her illegitimate daughter Rey. Though indifferent to the child at first, things soon take a different turn as she grows older.*** COMPLETE ***





	1. GRAVE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MalevolentReverie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/gifts), [diathlu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diathlu/gifts).



> I'm not usually one for writing what I consider dark fics especially in terms of subject matter, but other fic authors who dared to venture into dark themes inspired me so here's my first reylo dark fic. It's dark in that the subject matter is dark. Please read the tags. You have been warned. I don't have to explain myself to you. Don't like, don't read.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wife and mother is buried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moodboard by Autonomee / kylolita.tumblr.com Thank you so much for your generosity! I love it so much!
> 
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> 

The girl’s hand was tiny against his, pale fingers grasping around his limp forefinger as he stood motionlessly before the freshly dug grave, watching as her mother’s casket made its descent into the earth.

There were precious few people who attended the funeral. His wife was not someone very well liked, for the same reasons he did not shed a tear. The few who did were women who were just like her—spoiled, wild and wanton—and the few men, he was sure, were some of whom she had trysts with even as she had vowed to be faithful to him.

None of her relatives had attended. None of them, not even her parents, wanted to have anything to do with her. They had cut her off even before she married him.

He was young when he married her. Young and foolish. He had wanted to do right by her when she got pregnant, so at a tender age of twenty, he had sworn his life to her; lavished upon her an opulent lifestyle afforded by the fortune of his departed parents and the hard work of his own hands. But it seemed no matter how hard he tried to please her, nothing was ever enough; nothing except the company of her friends, and as he would soon find out, the company of other men.

He tore his eyes away from her casket and looked down at the three-year-old still clutching his finger. This girl, Rey, was not his; for that he was all too certain. She could be anyone’s yet here she was, now under his care, this pale, sickly child that looked nothing like him but appeared every bit like her mother—from her brown hair, to her hazel eyes, to her pink lips.

Not for the first time, he wondered if she would follow down the same destructive path as the woman who bore her. He wondered if he should care whether or not she did. But as much as he resented her mother, he was duty bound to this child. Her mother had made sure of that.

Because despite her wild ways, despite the affairs, the scandals, the drugs, Annabelle did something right: she sacrificed her life to bring her daughter to the world.

He snatched his finger away from Rey’s grasp and walked away before they had even finished lowering the casket, his thick, black coat billowing in the wind. He couldn’t see her, but he could tell from the pitter patter of feet behind him that she was trying to catch up.

“Be...”

He walked on, past the few people in attendance and their murmurs, past the crypts, the tombstones and the crosses jutting out from the loam.

“Be...”

He paid no heed to the breathless calls of the child who was not his. He felt no contempt for her. He felt nothing for her.

“Ben..! W-Wait, please!”

Ben Solo clenched his fists and walked on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moodboard by Poaxath/ thewayofthesith.tumblr.com Thank you so much for your generosity! I love it so much!
> 
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> 


	2. ANNABELLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben reminisces about his deceased wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time to lay some ground work.

The soft cracking sounds from the fireplace reverberated throughout Ben’s study, casting shadows over the books, folders and ornaments placed haphazardly throughout the room.

His study was his sanctum. Here, he could be lost in the oblivion of his thoughts. Here, with a glass of bourbon to accompany him, he spent most nights alone as he had been doing for the past ten years.

At thirty three, he was still young, but running a company he had not been prepared to run had taken its toll on him. His dark hair was long, his brown eyes shadowed from exhaustion and self-doubt. Every day was a monotonous flurry of tasks that seemed to have no end in sight—a far cry from his dreams of travel and exploration, of adventure and experiences.

Regret seeped in to drape him with its coldness once more. It had been his constant companion this past decade or more, and tonight would be no different. It was almost tradition that it whisper to him everything he could have had, had he not met Annabelle.

Annabelle. Even the thought of her name still caused him pain. She had been a woman of different shades—pure and innocent when they first met, but was much darker behind what she had allowed him to see. Until he was forced to see. Then, she was gray and feeble in that hospital bed, battling cancer until finally losing the fight after four agonizing years.

The diagnosis had come shortly after they married. Ben still remembered every detail of the white, lifeless walls of the clinic as the doctor explained their options. But Annabelle had flatly refused an abortion, and was willing to forego treatment if only to save the life of the child growing inside her.

Ben had admired her then, loved her even more, cared for her, catered to her every whim, lavished her with gifts and showered her with the best medical care money could afford. That was, until half way through her pregnancy, when he caught her in bed with not one, but with two men.

He had burst in then, murder in his eyes as the two men grabbed their clothes and made their hasty retreat. He would have been behind bars had Annabelle not stopped him from getting his gun.

Ben downed his bourbon, the tinkling of the ice in the glass ringing through his ears as he recalled how he had confronted his then pregnant wife and made her admit the truth—how she had had more affairs than she could count, and to Ben’s shock, that he wasn’t even the father of the child she was carrying. She had been pregnant before they even met.

Everything in him had screamed for retribution. But even in his rage, he knew he couldn’t harm Annabelle. And so he had resorted to drowning his sorrows in work and liquor, still hoping that his wife—this beautiful, innocent-looking bride whom he had foolishly fallen for—would stop her indiscretions and return to his arms. For her, he had been willing to forgive. For her he had been willing to start over, but as time went on and the affairs continued, he realized Annabelle had never really cared for anyone but herself.

And the baby? Part of him wanted to believe her, that she would rather not get chemotherapy to ensure the baby was alive and healthy. But another part of him pointed to Annabelle’s vanity, on how mortified she would be to lose her hair, to let sickly pallor set upon her flawless skin. Her lovers would not want her then if that happened.

The baby, she had kept to shackle Ben to her.

Each day, that cynical part of him had grown louder and louder until all he felt for Annabelle was disdain. He had left her to her own devices, to the partying, the whoring, the drugs, no longer caring if she and her bastard child lived or died.

The birth itself had been a long and difficult one, and her infant daughter, Reynabelle…Rey for short, had to spend months in the hospital because of complications caused by the life Annabelle had led. It had been a difficult time for Ben financially, but there was one good thing that came out of the birth—a change in Annabelle’s ways. Not because of her love for the infant, no, but because her health had begun to rapidly decline. In delaying treatment, she no longer responded to them, and in the end, died a sunken shell of the beauty she once was.

Perhaps to others, he may seem very cold in his musings of his deceased wife. But he could take solace in the fact that he had done right by her. Ben had done all he could to keep Annabelle and her daughter alive, even promising her that he will continue to care for the child.

And care for Rey he did. Even after paternity tests proved without a shadow of a doubt that he was not the father, he continued to care for the child. Too sickly to be in school, he had her homeschooled with the best tutors in the state. He provided for her daily needs—clothes, toys, one of the largest rooms in the mansion, servants at her beck and call, and most importantly, medical care from the best doctors available. She did not want for anything.

 But that was the extent of the care he gave Rey.

Ben lifted his glass up to his face to better see how much bourbon he had left, swirling around the liquid within the glass, its color reminding him of Rey’s hazel eyes—eyes so like that of her mother’s. Through the years, his indifference towards the child had grown. He had not held her when she was born, nor had he held the child the years after that. The closest he had even touched her was during Annabelle’s funeral exactly ten years ago, when he allowed the girl to hold his forefinger as they watched her mother being lowered into the earth. Other than that, he had kept his distance, only being in the same room with her for meals and for birthdays, as well as her sick days.

Ben sighed and closed his eyes, letting the cackle of burning firewood ring through his ears. Rey’s sick days were frequent. So frequent in fact, that majority of his conversations with her were about her health. He always inquired after her health, for while he was indifferent towards the child, she was still his stepdaughter, and she didn’t deserve to die of health complications brought upon by the life her wanton of a mother had led. Rey…she was an innocent. She didn’t deserve to have a mother like Annabelle, and she certainly didn’t deserve to have an apathetic man like him as her guardian. But he was all she had. Annabelle’s relatives, not even her parents, had wanted anything to do with her or her child.

“Master Solo?”

Ben turned towards the direction of the voice and found his elderly butler, Threepio standing by the door.

“What is it?” he asked, unable to hide the scorn in his voice at having been interrupted from his musings.

“It’s Mistress Reynabelle,” the butler began. “I’m afraid she has fallen ill and won’t be able to join you for dinner tonight.”

“I see.” Ben slowly rose from his armchair, holding on to the arm rests for a moment to steady himself. Perhaps he had drunk one too many glasses of bourbon, but he had to see the girl immediately in case she needed the doctors again. “I’ll go to her.”

“Very well, sir.”

He watched the old butler leave, and then, without a second thought as to his appearance, slowly made his way out of his study.

It was time to step into the shoes of being a father.

It was time to act like he cared.


	3. TOUCH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey receives a visit from Ben while in her sick bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to give ya'll an early update. Just a wee bit of a taste...  
> By the way, this fic is completely unbeta'd so forgive any mistakes.

Late afternoons were her favourite time of the day—when the sun would slowly give way to night, bringing with it a myriad of colors throughout the sky before the first twinkles of starlight begin to dazzle through the heavens. One of the older servants, Maz Kanata, had told her sunrises were much prettier, but Rey was a late sleeper and could never catch the first light of day. She was not really in much condition to be a morning person, and even in her waking hours, she would remain fatigued, as if she hadn’t slept at all.

Today, she once again missed the sunset. She was bedridden yet again, this time with a cold-induced fever. This wasn’t anything new. She was born weak, and if the doctors were to be believed, she would remain so for the rest of her life.

While some in her situation would rue the illness that imprisoned her to her bedroom, she actually, in her heart of hearts, looked forward to the days when she fell sick. For it was the only time in all her years that Ben Solo, truly took notice of her.

She turned away from the window and moved her gaze towards the door expectantly. He wasn’t her father. She had known that for years…and he had made sure to let her know and feel that. He was as distant as anyone could be, but she was grateful all the same for the life he had given her—an opulent, pampered and sheltered life she knew she didn’t deserve especially with what her mother had done.

Rey clenched her tiny fists. She knew all about her mother...what little good there was, but mostly about the bad. Over the past thirteen years of her young life, she had heard her fair share of whispers about the mother she could barely remember—lurid things. Vile things. Things enough to give her shame to last a lifetime. Then of course, Maz had come clean to her with the truth, and it had caused her to withdraw into herself.

She had dreamed of a loving mother. One who would brush her hair at nights, sing lullabies to her and read her stories. Instead, all she had were memories of a woman in pain, pale and suffering on a hospital bed until she faded away into nothingness.

She remembered feeling nothing at the death of Annabelle. The woman had never taken care of her. Never had the chance too because of her illness. Maz was the one who mothered her; cared for her daily needs at the behest of her indifferent stepfather.

But today…today would be different, she thought. She was sick, and as with her usual sick days, Ben would come in to check on her. These were the moments when he seemed to care, and these were the moments she looked forward to.

Knocks reverberated from the door, and Rey felt a sudden rush.

He was here.

“Come in.”

The door slowly opened as her stepfather let himself in. Normally he would be presentable. Normally he would be stiff and formal. But there was something different that night. His ebony waves were tousled, his brown eyes dark and blood shot, his pale cheeks flushed red, and his usually impeccable dress shirt was unbuttoned almost down to his navel, exposing skin Rey had never set her eyes on.

A lump grew inside her throat, and she had to swallow lest she couldn’t breathe. Was she getting sicker? She certainly felt her cheeks grow warmer beyond what her fever wrought.

Tearing her eyes away from his chest, she moved her gaze to his face and found him staring back at her with the most peculiar expression. When he remained at the doorway, she said, “Ben? Are you alright?”

She watched him blink then shake his head. “Yeah, I just...for a moment there I thought you were Annabelle.”

Rey bit her lower lip. Knowing what she knew about her departed mother, she wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not. “Is that...bad?”

Ben’s reply was not immediate. “You just...look a lot like her, that’s all.”

Rey nodded. She may not remember much about her mother, but she had seen her in photographs. And she would take what Ben said as a compliment. “Thank you.”

A few quiet, if not awkward moments passed before Ben half walked, half staggered further into the room until he was standing right beside her. Rey’s nose was stuffy at the moment, but she thought she could discern the faintest waft of liquor from his breath. “So...how are you feeling, Rey?”

“My nose is stuffy and my throat hurts a little.” She tried to keep her eyes on his face, but there was something about Ben’s pale chest gleaming in the dim lamplight that made her unable to look away. She had seen him drunk through the years, usually as she observed him through a crack in the door leading to his study, but she had never seen him this dishevelled in front of her. He was usually so impeccable despite the liquor.

“Hmm...” Ben pressed his lips together. “Anything else?”

“My skin feels hot but I feel cold,” Rey answered. She knew to list down all her symptoms when Ben asked. He needed to know of course, so that he could pass it on to the doctors if necessary.

Then, much to Rey’s surprise, Ben sat on her bed before reaching out to place the vast expanse of his palm over her forehead.

There it was again. The lump on her throat, and she had to swallow, albeit painfully. Ben had never been so close to her, had never even touched her save for that one fleeting memory she had as a child, holding on to his finger as men lowered her mother’s coffin into a freshly dug grave. And even then he had quickly pulled away and turned from her, forcing her to run after him, desperate for that touch, that human connection. She could feel the pinpricks of tears at the corners of her eyes, and she almost cried when he pulled his hand away, only to literally lose her breath when he moved the back of his hand down to touch the side of her neck.

There was no lump in her throat this time. She couldn’t even swallow. Couldn’t even breathe as heat coursed through her body from where his hand touched her skin. Her toes curled and her fingers bunched up around the sheets as his hand lingered, sending signals she couldn’t comprehend.

“You do feel warm,” Ben murmured before finally taking his hand away, and Rey let out an audible gasp. “Rey? What’s wrong?”

She blinked and stared up at Ben, still sitting on her bed. She became hyper aware of his warmth, the lingering sensation from where he had touched her neck, the feel of his hip against her leg. Suddenly, it seemed as though she could feel everything.

“Rey?”

“N-Nothing,” Rey shook her head. “It’s just...I feel...sensitive.” Sensitive. Yes, that was the word she was looking for. Then, noticing another symptom, she added, “And my heart’s beating so fast.”

She didn’t think Ben...cold, distant stepfather that he was...could surprise her more that night. But he did when he placed his hand on the flat of her chest and over her heart.

Her eyelids shut on their own accord, and breathing became more difficult as her heart hammered against her rib cage, drumming its beats rapidly against Ben’s palm. Once again, heat radiated from where he touched, seeping through the cotton of her baby pink night gown and into her skin, her hands clenching, her toes curling. What exactly was this feeling? Was this part of the fever?

Slowly, she opened her eyes and found Ben staring not at her, but at his hand, as if mesmerized that it was there. She didn’t think her heart could beat any faster, but it did, and Ben muttered, “You’re right, your heart is beating fast.”

She expected him to take his hand away then, but he didn’t. If anything he seemed to want to keep it there, his brown, bloodshot eyes fixated on his fingers as he slowly moved his palm from the middle of her chest and more towards the side of it.

Then, he swept his thumb across her nipple.

The sound that escaped her lips was almost inhuman—a cross between a cry and an agonized moan, and yet she was not in pain. If anything she felt the opposite, the feeling raging through her veins and making her lightheaded.

Almost immediately, Ben lifted his hand away and shot up from the bed, backing away as if he had been burned. “Rey...I...I’m sorry...”

Sorry? Rey thought as she came down from her high and blinked at him. Sorry for what?

She opened her lips to ask, but Ben turned and fled before she could, and she was once again alone in her room, left to deal with the confusing feelings elicited from Ben’s touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben may have opened the Pandora's box here. Any guesses what will happen next? Sound off your comments below! I love hearing from readers. I will try and update again for you guys real soon.


	4. RESTLESS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A restless Ben receives an unexpected visit from Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another early update for you guys. Thanks for helping me reach 100+ kudos! We're also at nearly a hundred subscriptions and over 2000 hits. This may not be much compared to other fanfics, but considering the subject matter, I'm celebrating. Time to crank up the dark themes even more...

Ben tossed and turned in bed, unable to find the comfort of sleep. Guilt had been plaguing him for days, ever since his last visit to Rey’s room—the day, in his partially inebriated state, that he had lowered his guard and allowed himself to be close to her.

Far too close.

Turning to his side, he lifted his hand to his face and stared at it, watching it tremble as he flexed and clenched it. Why had he touched her like that? What the hell was going through his mind that he would actually do such a thing? And to a mere child? Granted, she was not his child, but still he would never...he wasn’t a...

Growling, he turned and buried his screams into his pillow as his mind assaulted him with the memory of her hot, silken skin against his hand, the beating of her heart against his palm...

...the moan that had come out of her soft, pink lips.

He groaned and clawed at his pillow. The way Rey had moaned was burned into his memory, refusing to fade even as he desperately willed it to. She sounded uncannily like Annabelle when he used to touch her the same way. It was bad enough that Rey was already starting to look exactly like her mother before all the drugs, whoring and illness took a toll on her beauty. In other words, Rey was starting to look like the sweet, innocent 19-year-old he had fallen desperately in love with.

Except Rey wasn’t Annabelle. And she certainly was years away from being nineteen, causing him to become more acutely aware of the crushing guilt in his chest.

After a while, Ben turned on his back and stared at the ceiling. Somewhere in the vast house, the grandfather clock rang its midnight toll, the sound seemingly louder to his ears, ringing with it the same questions he had been asking himself over and over in the previous days. Why _had_ he touched her like that? Was it because of the bourbon? His lack of intimacy perhaps? He hadn’t been intimate with a woman in years. Could that be the answer then?

Or could it be that seeing Rey’s resemblance to Annabelle had awakened something long dormant within him? A longing for what could have been? Could it be that he was still in love with Annabelle after all this time?

He shook his head. No. Annabelle had broken his heart—crushed it into a million pieces, buried it and spat on its grave. He had lost all love for her and he certainly did not love the bastard child she bore...right?

Frantic knocks echoed from his door, and he quickly got up from bed. _“Who could it be at this time of night?”_ he thought, as he put on his black silk robe and strode across the bedroom to open the door. It couldn’t be Maz or Threepio. It was their day off and they wouldn’t be back until morning. That could only mean...

Heart suddenly beating fast, Ben swung the door open to find Rey, standing in her ankle-length cotton night gown. She was trembling something awful, her face flushed, and her eyes glistening with tears.

“Ben...” she began weakly, “I...I’m very sick...”

“What?” All previous thoughts flying out the window, Ben raised his hand to touch her forehead and her neck, doing his best to ignore the way she groaned at his touch. The way his hand tingled at the feel of her skin. “You don’t seem hot.”

“No.” Rey shook her head. “My fever broke last night. It’s not that. It’s...I’m bleeding.”

“Bleeding?” Ben pulled his hand away and did a quick sweep of her with his eyes. “Bleeding where?”

“D-Down there...” Rey stammered, and pointed to a stain on the lower part of her nightgown which Ben hadn’t even noticed and he felt his cheeks grow hot. He knew what was happening of course, but he didn’t think _he_ would be the one to be there for her when it did. This was Maz’s responsibility, not his, but Maz was not here and Rey was sobbing uncontrollably.

There would be no one to be here for her but him.

“You’re not sick,” he said not unkindly. “It’s called a period. It happens to girls your age. It’s normal.”

Rey’s sobs stilled, and she looked up at his great height with the most perplexed expression on her face. “A period? It’s...normal?”

 “Every young lady goes through it,” Ben continued, then tilted his head and asked, “Didn’t your tutors teach you about the reproductive system yet?”

Rey shook her head again. “What’s that?”

Ben felt his heart seize. She sounded so innocent. _Looked_ so innocent. Like Annabelle had. Like Annabelle _pretended_ to be. Only Rey wasn’t pretending. She was truly new to all this, and it dawned on him just how sheltered the girl was.

“I’ll...have Maz tell you more once she gets back.” Ben took a step forward before closing the door behind him. “In the meantime, let’s get you changed into some fresh clothes. I think Maz left some sanitary pads in your medicine cabinet for just such an emergency.”

“Sanitary pads?” Rey repeated, her voice laced with confusion.

Oh boy, Ben thought. It was bad enough the girl didn’t know about menstrual cycles, but how would he even begin to explain this?

“I’ll...have you read the instructions on it,” Ben settled on that non-explanation, and led Rey back to her bedroom across the hall. Once inside, he checked the medicine cabinet in her bathroom, found what he was looking for and handed the pack of sanitary pads to Rey, who promptly read the instructions before heading inside the bathroom alone to change. By the time she got out, Ben had already changed the sheets, which he had noticed was also stained.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Rey said softly as he carried the soiled sheets to the laundry hamper. “I was planning to do it myself.”

“You wanted my help, didn’t you?” Ben fluffed up the pillows before pulling back the covers for Rey. She quietly climbed on to the bed and settled in before he carefully draped the covers over her, making sure to tuck her in nice and snug.

“Ben?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. For taking care of me,” Rey said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I...just want you to know that I’m grateful. That even though I’m not your daughter...and especially after what Mother did to you, you still looked out for me as much as you could. I’m only sorry that I haven’t thanked you enough.”

Ben’s lips tightened. Rey had never been so vocal about her gratitude before. Perhaps it was because he never really gave her a chance to thank him especially since he had kept her at arm’s length up until recently. But the mention of Annabelle soured whatever welcome he may have felt for her gratefulness.

“I made a promise to your mother that I would take care of you to the best of my capacity. And I never go back on my word,” he mustered trying to keep his voice casual. “Now go to sleep. You don’t want to get sick again, do you?”

“I...I think I might still be.”

“How so?”

“My heart. It’s beating too fast.”

Ben froze, and he was taken back to what had occurred a few nights ago. Wasn’t this the same scenario which led him to touching her?

“I’m...not sure I understand.” Ben didn’t look at her as he said it. “Can you elaborate?”

“My heart’s beating so fast that I can barely breathe,” Rey answered. “It’s been happening a lot lately especially when I think of you.”

“When you...think of me?” Ben finally looked at her, saw the flush of color rising to her cheeks and he knew his were the same. A thought of what the girl may have felt or may be feeling nagged at him but he refused to entertain it.

He was ready to shut her down, to tell her it was nothing and that she should just ignore it when she pressed on. “This didn’t happen before. But after you touched me, that’s when it started happening.”

Ben swallowed hard. He couldn’t say anything else except to echo her. “After I...touched you?”

“Yes. Here, here and here.” Rey pointed to her forehead, neck and chest respectively, though she put more emphasis on her chest. “Especially here. It made my heart beat fast and my body warm all over.”

Ben was dumbfounded, the nagging thought coming back at full force. Could it be that Rey... _felt_ something for him?

He shook his head inwardly. No. It couldn’t be. She was probably just confused. Her young body was confused, especially since she had never been touched like that before.

“It’s...it’s nothing, Rey.” Ben had to sit down on the bed, lest his knees give away. Better to just dismiss it, he thought. Sweep it under the rug. Maybe then she will stop asking about it. “It happens to everyone. Don’t mind it and it will go away.”

“Does it happen to you too?”

Before Ben could reply, Rey sat up from bed and placed her small hand on his chest.

He couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. Couldn’t even breathe as her hand continued to press against the exposed skin of his chest, heat blooming from where she touched. Not since Annabelle’s funeral had she willingly put her hand on him, and it made him feel hot and cold at the same time.

“Your heart’s beating so fast,” Rey observed in a whisper, then, to Ben’s astonishment, took his large hand in hers and pressed it against her chest. “So is mine. Can you feel it?”

Ben swallowed thickly. “Yes.”

“Does that mean you’re sick too?”

He looked at her then, this innocent, naive, sickly little girl who seemed to think every new sensation was a symptom of an illness. Yes, he wanted to tell her. He _was_ sick. Sick for having his body respond to the touch of a thirteen-year-old whom he had helped raise all her life, and even sicker for not wanting the touch to end.

Slowly, his gaze lowered to where his hand lay on her chest. He was so close to her budding breast—so close, that one swipe of a finger and he would feel the pebble of her nipple again, which seemed to be glaring at him from underneath the cream satin of her nightgown. The desire to touch her was overwhelming, and he could only do so much to resist.

Seemingly on its own accord, his thumb moved to brush over her nipple.

Rey’s reaction was instant. She shut her eyes tight and moaned just like she did before—a cacophony of whimpers and gasps but this time, Ben didn’t pull away. He couldn’t. Not when the sounds coming from Rey’s lips entranced him so, and soon, his other hand rose to knead her other breast, eliciting more of the same reaction.

“How does it feel when I do this?” he whispered, almost afraid to break the spell as he circled his thumbs around her pert nipples. He knew the answer of course, but for some reason, he wanted to hear her say it. _Needed_ to hear her say it.

Rey’s breathing was labored. “It feels...good. Warm. Tingly.”

Good. Warm. Tingly. That was exactly what he was feeling at the moment, except tenfold as he continued to massage her breasts, his dark eyes boring into her glazed ones. With her face flushed and her expression a picture of ecstasy, Ben couldn’t help but think of Annabelle once more. She had the exact same look on her face whenever they were intimate...

...and whenever she was intimate with other men.

Ben snatched his hands away and rose to his feet in an instant.

“Ben?”

“I...I’m sorry,” Ben mumbled, taking several steps back. “This was a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Rey’s brows furrowed, confusion, disappointment and panic clear in her hazel eyes. “Ben...I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” Ben shook his head vehemently. “Just...just forget I was ever here. Forget everything that happened. I’m sorry.”

He was quick to turn around and run for the door. Rey called out his name, but he could barely hear her through the din in his mind. And even after he had shut the door behind him, the screaming in his head would not abate.

He stared at his offending hands, the sensation from touching Rey’s breasts still lingering. What the hell was he doing? She was a child! He had no business fondling her like that. She was his ward. His stepdaughter. The girl he had sworn to care for and protect...and yet he had taken advantage of her. Preyed on her innocence, her lack of knowledge when it came to boundaries, all to satisfy a carnal desire within him.

Desire...

Ben’s eyes widened at the realization. He desired her. Heaven help him, he desired that child. But why? He had never, in his entire existence, shown a preference for the younger. Why was Rey any different?

Oh, but Rey _was_ different. She wasn’t just any child. She was the child of one Annabelle Elizabeth Snoke. The woman who had beguiled and broken him. Rey was the spitting image of her mother, and yet, she was everything her mother wasn’t—kind, innocent and pure.

But now...now he had sullied her.

Mind still reeling, Ben slowly made his way to his study, where he would drown his thoughts with bourbon until he mercifully passed out on his desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I surprised you guys with the reveal that Annabelle is essentially Snoke in this story. At first, I didn't intend her to be Snoke or related to him, but it just made so much sense. She's the villain, the looming specter from beyond the grave that continues to influence Ben Solo; Annabelle Elizabeth Snoke was the one who took advantage of Ben, manipulated him and broke him. So yes, pretty much Rey has a bit of dark side in her too ;) Thanks again for reading everyone and I hope to read your comments. They are fuel for this writer's soul.


	5. EXPLORATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey becomes curious about herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like another early update because you're getting it :) I'm about a couple of chapters ahead now. Things might slow down in the future but I do hope to update as soon as possible.

Rey spent the entire week reading up on the human reproductive system. Her tutors had started teaching her about the subject, and she suspected Ben had something to do with it in light of the confusion it had caused her when her period started. She had told Maz about how Ben helped her through the ordeal.

She did not reveal what else had happened between her and Ben that night. Whatever it was, he seemed greatly ashamed of it, to the point of actively trying to avoid her, even not having meals with her anymore, leaving her to dine all alone in the mansion’s dining room.

Rey sighed, put the anatomy book down and stared out the window of her bedroom. Why was Ben so ashamed? It had felt good to be touched like that, to have an inexplicable kind of electricity course through her body from his ministrations. Something so good can’t be bad, right? So why did he say it was a mistake? Why did he run from her?

 _“Maybe I’m the one who did something wrong,”_ Rey thought bitterly, but she couldn’t figure out what she could have possibly done to make him flee. Had she been too forward when she initiated the touch? Putting her hand on his chest like that and putting his hand on hers? Was he really that put off by touching her? If that was the case, why didn’t he pull away immediately? She was so confused...

With a shake of her head, she turned her attention back to her reading material. She understood more about periods now, how it was related to human reproduction, and more recently, she learned where babies came from.

She felt a blush bloom in her cheeks. Her first exposure to the word ‘sex’ had been from the whispers of servants about her late mother. How Annabelle would have sex with different men besides her husband. Rey didn’t understand what the servants meant back then; she only surmised that sex—whatever it was—must be bad and that it’s something you were only supposed to do with your husband. It wasn’t until she began her lessons on human reproduction that she understood the true purpose of sex.

“Was that why Mother had sex so much?” Rey had asked a very uncomfortable Maz the day before. “Because she wanted many babies?”

“I don’t think so, dear,” Maz had said, and by her pauses, it was clear she was choosing her words carefully. “Sex...feels good, you see. But you’re only supposed to do it with someone you really love.”

“Then why did Mother have sex with so many different men?” Rey had pursued. “Did she love all of them?”

“No, dear,” Maz had said with a shake of her head. “I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but Annabelle...she always wanted to feel good. That’s why she had so many men. Not because she loved them. And forgive me for saying this, but I hope you don’t grow up to be like her.”

“I won’t,” Rey had replied solemnly, almost as a promise. She didn’t want to have sex anyway. The way it was described in her anatomy book made it sound gross and tedious. But at the same time, she couldn’t shake what Maz had said about the matter.

_“Sex...feels good, you see.”_

_It feels...good. Warm. Tingly._

Setting her book aside, Rey slid off her arm chair and hurried to her dresser mirror. She was feeling well for once, and had on a white, button-down blouse, a red, pleated skirt that almost reached her knees, white, knee-high socks and a pair of black Mary Jane’s—usual clothing she wore to her tutoring sessions. She looked young for her age. Then again, she didn’t know what other kids her age dressed like, being homeschooled and all, and not for the first time, she wondered what it would be like to go to an actual school. Would she fit in? Would she be able to catch up on the lessons? Would she be able to make friends? The only circle of friends she had growing up were Maz and her dolls, and even she had to admit she had outgrown the friendship she had with her toys.

Once again, it hit her how alone she was. She was the only child in this big Victorian manor. Ben had stopped allowing the servants to bring their children over a long time ago, after Rey caught the flu from one of them.

Ben...he always did have her best interests at heart, even though he kept his distance.

But he had been awfully close to her several days ago...

Rey closed her eyes and as with the last few days, remembered the way he had touched her. Remembered his large palms on the flat of her chest, massaging and strumming her tiny nipples. It had felt so good to be touched like that, and she wondered if sex was supposed to feel the same way. The anatomy book certainly didn’t mention anything about breast massage. All it concentrated on was penetration of the penis to the vagina, which was certainly _not_ what Rey wanted to do. So maybe what Ben did had nothing to do with sex.

So why was he so ashamed of what he did? She still couldn’t understand why something that made her feel so good was so wrong. Why had he stopped?

She had no answers. All she knew was that she craved that touch now. After years of distancing himself from her, he had finally given her something she hadn’t realized was missing in her life—the warmth of an intimate human touch, and she was starved for it.

Slowly, she reached up to undo her blouse, her fingers moving from button to button until she was half-naked in front of the mirror.

Rey let her blouse fall to the floor. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Her breasts were still too little for that, but she could see that her nipples were taut, and they felt as tingly as the time Ben had brushed his fingers across them.

Moving her hands to her chest and cupping her diminutive mounds, she did her best to mimic what Ben had done, squeezing and kneading at the small swell of flesh and circling her nipples with her thumbs. It felt good, but not as good as Ben had done. His hands were much larger. Covered much more of her breasts, and he was certainly much more adept with his fingers.

Still, Rey couldn’t stop, and soon, she was breathing heavily, an electric feeling coursing through her veins with every squeeze of a palm, every flick of a finger. There was something about watching herself in the mirror...watching herself do this, watching her little breasts shape and reshape in her hands that made it feel oh so good.

She wondered what it would be like if Ben was the one touching her instead, and she felt a rush of feeling between her legs at the thought.

She stopped massaging her breasts and looked down. According to the book, the thing between her legs was called a vagina, and that was where the penis would go in during sex. What she found strange was that her vagina was feeling warm and tingly...and a bit...wet? Slimy? Was her period back? But the book said it only happened once a month, and hers had ended a few days ago.

She lifted her skirt to check, and through the mirror, she saw what looked like a wet patch on her white cotton panties. It didn’t look like she was bleeding. She was about to slip off her underwear to check when the door suddenly opened.

Rey jumped, nearly stumbling backwards when Ben burst into her room without knocking. She was so surprised, she didn’t even think to cover herself. “B-Ben! You...you scared me!”

Ben didn’t say anything. Not at first. He was breathing hard, as though he had run a long way, and there were beads of sweat on his forehead. His face was flushed, and though his suit was immaculate, Rey saw that his collar was open and his tie was loose.

But it was his eyes that caught her attention. They were darker than usual, and she could almost feel the heat of his gaze on her. It was only when she saw his eyes flit towards her breasts that she thought to cover herself with her arms.

“You’re late for class,” Ben said in a stern tone that made her look up fearfully at him. He had never used that tone of voice on her before, and it froze her to her spot, even as he took several steps forward until he was looming over her, eyes boring into hers. “What were _you_ doing in here?”

“I...I...was just...” Rey struggled for words, feeling as though she had just been caught doing something she shouldn’t have. But was she? Was it wrong to touch herself and make herself feel good especially since she always seemed to feel physically ill? But then again, Ben looked so mad... “I was just getting ready.”

It was an obvious lie. She had never lied before, but she was too scared to tell the truth. As quickly as she could, she bent over to pick up her blouse from the floor and put it on, but she was shaking so much, she kept fumbling with the buttons.

Then, much to her shock, Ben knelt down and began helping her button up, taking his time with each button, and she had to stifle a gasp when his knuckles brushed against her still sensitive nipples.

By the time he was finished, Ben’s face had softened, and the heat of his stare had fizzled into warmth. “Go. Your tutor is waiting in the library.”

Rey nodded and hurried past him, her heart still pounding and her skin still warm from his heated gaze.

* * *

Ben stared after the girl as she ran past him and out the door, leaving him to stand alone in the middle of her vast room, with nothing but her dead-eyed teddy bears and expressionless dolls for company. It was a room fit for a little girl, filled with toys, pastel hues, laces and frills...only, Rey wasn’t so little anymore. She was growing up. Far faster than he had anticipated. And _he_ was the cause.

_He had sullied her._

Ben walked the few steps to her armchair and sat on it, feeling the girl’s warmth which still lingered on the seat.

He had seen _everything_. Had been watching through the crack of her door the whole time. He had gone to her room to personally fetch her for her class, finally mustering the courage to face her after what had transpired between them, only to find himself unable to move at the sight of her, sitting by her window, a large book on her dainty little lap, the morning sunlight hitting her in all the right angles as to make her skin glow and her long, chestnut hair shine like a halo around her head. She’d looked so beautiful then...like Annabelle had once been when he first laid eyes on her. And in that moment, it _was_ like the first time he had seen Rey, and he felt his heart pound in a way it hadn’t in years.

And then...she had done something that left him slack-jawed and weak-kneed. She had gone to her mirror, stripped off her blouse and touched herself, and he had to open his collar and loosen his tie, lest he couldn’t breathe.

Ben buried his face in his hands, shutting his eyes tight but the image of little Rey massaging her tiny breasts had seared itself into his mind. And why wouldn’t it? He hadn’t stopped watching her at all, and at one point, even unconsciously reached down to rub himself through his pants. It was only when Rey started to take off her underwear that he had burst in to stop her.

Why he had stopped her, he wasn’t certain. Perhaps it was because he probably wouldn’t have been able to control himself anymore if he had watched her continue. Even after he had entered the room, he had been left speechless at the sight of her, half-naked and trembling before him, and it had taken all he had not to succumb to his baser instincts in much the same way he had with Annabelle.

Rey was the mirror image of her mother. And he now realized that Rey was starting to manifest the same power over him as Annabelle had.

No, he thought with a shake of the head. That wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to be caught in the same spell again. Not if he can help it.

He would make a few calls, he thought, as he rose to his feet and strode out of the room, hurrying towards his study. He was going to put some distance between him and Rey.

He had to, before he did something he might regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, what does Ben have in mind? You'll have to stay tuned to find out. And if it's not already apparent in the tags, VC Andrews has had an influence in the story so there will be elements of gothic literature and settings. In particular, the novel My Sweet Audrina as well as the Casteel series has had an influence on me. I've since stopped reading VC Andrews but I can't deny how it was part of my teenage years.
> 
> Anyway, thank you again for reading and commenting guys. Your comments and encouragements really help me through the hurdles of writing. Thanks again and see you in later chapters.


	6. DISTANCE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben decides to put some distance between him and Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit more plot development for you guys this time around. This was supposed to be a longer chapter, but it got so long that I had to cut it at a point. The rest will be in chapter 7, which will be hella long so stay tuned for that.
> 
> Things will mellow down a bit from here on out. Hope you'll stay tuned for more because I got a lot of plans mapped out for this sordid tale.

“A boarding school?” Rey asked in surprise as she stood before Ben’s mahogany desk. It had been days since they last saw each other, much less spoken to one another, and so she was surprised when he called her to his study, even more so when he stated his proposition. “You want me to go to an actual school?”

“Yes,” Ben stated flatly, peering at her from behind the newspaper he was reading. She could barely see his face, so she had no way of reading his expression. But something told her he wasn’t entirely happy about it. Or maybe it was just something she would like to believe. “You’re old enough to be on your own for a little while. And it would do you good to be around children your age.”

Rey felt her fingers bunch up involuntarily around the skirt of her pale blue dress. “What if I get sick from being exposed to other people?”

“Your doctors have given you the all clear,” Ben replied and flipped to the next page. He seemed disinterested, or trying to be, Rey wasn’t sure. “You’ll also get a room all to yourself to minimize your exposure. I’ll be getting you a phone so you can call or text me. And if you’re worried that you wouldn’t be able to catch up to the lessons, don’t be. The school year is just starting and your tutors actually teach in that school so you’re up to speed with your classes and then some.”

Rey bit her lip. She had always wanted to be normal and go to school like other kids. But now that she was actually going, she wasn’t so sure. But if Ben thought she was ready, then maybe she must be. “When do I start?”

Ben moved to another page and straightened the newspaper so as to cover his entire face. “You start Monday.”

“Monday?” Rey repeated, unable to keep her voice down from shock. “But that’s in two days! I haven’t even prepared my things—”

“I had Maz ready your clothes and school supplies early this morning. Your luggage should be ready before you leave for your dormitory. I’ve done all the necessary paperwork so there’s no need to worry about that. All that’s missing is your uniform, which is still at the tailor’s but you should be getting that in a week.” Ben sounded so mechanical when he spoke. He had never been the warmest person towards her, but he sounded so much colder and more distant now than he had ever been.

When Rey didn’t speak, Ben folded his newspaper to look at her, and it unnerved her how hollow his eyes looked. “I thought you wanted this, Rey. I seem to recall you asking to go to school before.”

“I do want this,” Rey affirmed, but she couldn’t keep the uncertainty from her voice. “It’s just that...it’s all so sudden. I thought you wanted me homeschooled for life. What changed?”

Ben didn’t answer immediately. “I just think it would be best for you to see a bit more of the world. Interact with people other than me and the servants. It could help improve your social skills.”

Rey frowned. “What’s wrong with my social skills?”

“Nothing. But you can certainly use more experience,” Ben added, then leaned forward, hands clasped on the table. “Believe me, Rey. It would do you good. I led a sheltered life once too. I didn’t learn to be independent until after my parents died when I was in my early twenties. That’s why Annabelle...”

Rey was quick to notice the way Ben trailed off. He had never opened up about his early days before, and it was the first time she ever heard about him being sheltered. But it was what he said in the end that got her attention. “That’s why my mother...what?”

“Let’s just say she took advantage of my naivety,” Ben said, not without a hint of bitterness. “I don’t want the same thing to happen to you. I want you to grow up to be better than me. Make better decisions and not have people take advantage of you.”

Rey could only nod. She was sheltered, true, but she knew enough that there were people like her mother in the world, and it did little to instill confidence in her. Still, she put on a brave front. She would have to grow up and experience more of the world some time and perhaps the sooner the better.

“Now, for some ground rules.” Ben stood up, walked around his desk and began slowly circling Rey. “This is a co-ed school, so you’ll have boys and girls for classmates. Under no circumstance is a boy allowed in your room. You are to text or call me in case of emergencies and I expect you to be home every weekend.”

Rey perked up. “So I still get to go home on weekends?”

“Yes. I’ll have the chauffeur pick you up every Friday afternoon. And one more thing.” Ben stopped in front of her and sat at the edge of his desk, arms folded across his chest. Rey thought the buttons of his white shirt might burst open. It didn’t occur to her until then how massive his chest was, even though she had already seen it. “I will be imposing a strict seven o’ clock curfew. After your classes, you are to head straight to your dorm room. I have arranged it so that you will have dinner brought up to your room every night. I don’t want you to go out late with friends. Understand?”

 _Friends,_ Rey thought. She would have actual friends!

 Ben raised an eyebrow at her. “What are you smiling about?”

“Huh?” Rey stared up at him and blinked. She didn’t realize she was smiling. “It’s nothing. I’m just...looking forward to having friends.”

Ben grew quiet, seeming to contemplate for a moment before sighing heavily. He then returned behind his desk, opened the drawer and produced a small, white rectangular box, which he handed over to Rey. “This is your phone. I know it’s your first time to own one. You have a couple of days to learn how to use it. Just read the manual. You are also to keep this on your person at all times. That way, I can reach you any time if needed.”

Rey took the box in her hands and opened it, staring at the shiny block of electronics with equal parts curiosity and oddness. Ben was right, she had never owned her own phone before; certainly not because they couldn’t afford it, but because with her just being in the manor all the time, there hadn’t been a need to. And Maz had raised her not to rely on technology very much, which led to her preference for books instead of computers. To own a piece of modern technology was strange for Rey, and like the computer in Ben’s study or the large flat screen TV in their living room, it seemed out of place in their old Victorian home. But she would certainly need it now that she was going away to school.

“Thank you,” she mumbled and closed the box’s lid. “I’ll keep it with me always.”

“Good,” Ben said, then sat on his chair again. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I still have some work to do. Kindly tell Threepio to bring me up dinner later. I’ll be dining here in my study.”

That gave Rey a pause. “You mean...you won’t be having dinner with me again?”

The disappointment must have been clear in her voice, because there was a pained expression on Ben’s face when she said it but it disappeared as quickly as it came. “No, I won’t,” was all he said, before turning his attention to his computer screen.

Rey’s fingers curled around the box. It was a dismissal. And it hurt far more than she thought it would.

With a quiet ‘goodbye’, Rey turned and exited Ben’s study, ignoring the pinpricks of tears at the corners of her eyes.

* * *

Ben stopped typing as soon as the door closed, then leaned back on his leather office chair and ran a hand across his scalp. He had been preparing himself for this day when he would inform Rey of his decision to send her away, and things had gone relatively well so to speak. She had taken everything in a stride...until that was, when she had asked him about having dinner with her.

The disappointment in her voice when he denied her had lanced through his heart. Over the years, he had had relatively few chances to make her sad, mostly because he had stayed away. He didn’t realize how much it would hurt to see pain in those hazel eyes of hers...eyes so like her mother’s. But Annabelle, her eyes had never shown pain except when she had become bedridden, and by then he had become indifferent, if not disdainful of her. Rey’s eyes on the other hand had only lit up with joy when he was around. To see her so sad like that was like taking a knife to the chest.

He shook his head. He would have to get used to it, he thought, especially since he had every intention of distancing himself from her. Things would go back to the way they were, when he was nothing but her apathetic benefactor.

And that was the way it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprised by the sudden inclusion of modern technology? I am too! I actually didn't intend to have modern tech added to this fic because I wanted it to be timeless but after writing the outline for the later chapters, I realized I NEED technology and NEED to set it in the modern world. So we got cellphones.
> 
> I know this isn't exactly as steamy as previous chapters, but I'm building up to something that I hope will surprise, intrigue and delight you guys. As always, feel free to leave a kudos, subscribe, and comment on this fic. They are fuel for the writer's soul and I immensely enjoy interacting with you guys. Until then!


	7. SCHOOL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes to school for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another early update for you guys. Thanks for the 6000 hits! There's more story development in this chapter as well, and like the previous chapter, this was supposed to be longer but I had to cut it off again because it was too long. No worries, the next update shouldn't take long either I hope. Hope you enjoy reading this!

Two days passed and before Rey realized it, she was in the family Mercedes Benz, driving away from the three-story Victorian mansion she had lived in all her life. It was rare for her to be out of the house—Alderaan Manor as it was called—and she did her best to commit the structure to memory—from its bay windows jutting out from patterned brick walls, the tilted slate roofs, the overall asymmetrical but aesthetically pleasing design, and the well-maintained shrubs of colorful flowers that hugged its base. It looked like one of her dollhouses, but prettier.

It would be the last time she would see the house, at least until Friday, when she would be home again. That seemed like such a long time from now...

“Rey? Are you listening?”

“Huh?” Rey turned to her side and found Ben, looking at her questioningly. “Uhm, yes. Sorry. What were you saying?”

Ben sighed. “I was asking if you remembered what I told you before? About the ground rules?”

“Oh. Yes.” Rey’s eyes shot up, as if reading from invisible lines over her head. “No boys in my room, text or call you for emergencies, seven o’ clock curfew, don’t stay out late.”

Ben nodded approvingly. “And don’t forget that Artoo will be picking you up on Fridays. He will arrive at five o’ clock sharp so don’t be late.”

Artoo was their chauffeur. He was a man of few words, mostly spoke in monosyllables but he had been with the family for about as long as their butler, Threepio, so they understood his quirks.

Rey looked out the car window once more. While she was still a bit wary about going to school, she also couldn’t help but feel a little bit excited. She was eager to know what her school was like, although she knew she wouldn’t have to wait for long, as it was only about a forty five minute drive away from Alderaan Manor.

Throughout the drive, Rey would alternate from watching the passing scenery and glancing at Ben, who was busy typing away at his laptop. She knew he still had work this morning, but he had to meet with the headmistress for some last minute arrangements, and perhaps to make sure she was all settled in. She certainly didn’t mind his company, even if he was just silent beside her. It was better than being alone, and on her first day of school no less.

Rey smoothed out her skirt. She had on a pale pink, long-sleeved dress with a high collar, patterned with tiny red flowers and flourished with white lace trimmings. It was one of her favorite dresses, and one she had prepared just for this occasion. In place of knee-high socks, she wore white stockings and a pair of red flats on her dainty feet. Her long, chestnut hair, she simply let down, though she did have a white headband on.

“When do you think the tailor would be done with my uniform?” she asked Ben. “Are the other kids wearing uniforms already?”

“Not that I’m aware,” Ben answered absently, eyes still trained on his laptop screen. “From what I recall, they usually don’t wear uniforms until a week after school starts, which should be around the time we get your uniform from the tailor’s.”

“Did you go to this school, Ben?” Rey continued. If she could find ways to continue to converse with him, she would. It had already been thirty minutes or so since their drive started and she knew they were getting close.

“No, I didn’t.” Ben tapped and scrolled through his computer, still not facing her. “But my parents were benefactors, so I decided to continue being one. Also, my mother was close to the headmistress so I think you will find this school very accommodating.”

Rey nodded, her worries diminishing a little. “So where did you go to school?”

“I was homeschooled, like you were, but I did eventually go to an all-boys school when I was your age.”

 “Really?” Rey tried to keep the excitement from her voice. This was only the second time Ben spoke about his younger days. She tried to imagine him at thirteen, and she recalled the oil painting which adorned their living room wall, right over the fireplace. It was that of a young Ben Solo with his parents Han Solo and Leia Organa Solo. Other than that, she hadn’t seen him in old photographs. In fact, she hadn’t seen _any_ photographs in the house at all, except for the few she had of her mother, which she kept in a small keepsake chest. “Which school was it?”

It took a while for Ben to answer. “The Jedi Academy. Well, one of the campuses at least. An all-boys one. They have an all-girls one too, as well as a co-ed.”

Rey’s eyes widened. She may not know much about schools, but she did learn through history lessons that The Jedi Academy was where many great leaders graduated from. “Isn’t that like...a really prestigious school?”

“It was, before my uncle suddenly up and left. He was the School President. Now, that school’s gone to sh...to the dogs.”

“What was it like there?”

Ben finally stopped tapping away and turned to her, and she was more than relieved to find no trace of annoyance in his face. “Why the sudden curiosity?”

“I don’t know.” Rey shrugged. “I guess it’s because you never really talk about your childhood. And I like hearing you talk.”

Ben grew quiet, and for a moment, Rey thought he wouldn’t say anything more, but he surprised her. “There’s nothing much to say. I was a typical high school student. I got good grades but I also got into a lot of fist fights.”

Rey blinked up at him. “Did you win?”

It was Ben’s turn to shrug. “Some. It didn’t really help that my uncle was the School President. If anything, that made some of my classmates jealous. Oh, there’s your school now.”

Rey turned to where Ben was pointing, and saw the black iron gates with an arch way that said ‘The Raddus Hall’. Beyond the gates and nestled between pine trees was a large three-story red brick complex with white windows and dark grey slanted roofs that almost reminded Rey of Alderaan Manor.

After checking with security, Artoo drove the Benz into school grounds, stopping at the entrance of The Raddus Hall. The chauffeur then opened the door for both passengers, and Rey stepped out of the vehicle to further admire the school building while Ben and Artoo took out her luggage from the trunk.

Then, she froze. There were other kids milling about, some her age, others older, and just like what Ben had said, they weren’t wearing uniforms yet. In fact, they wore nothing like what she wore—no dresses with frills and laces, or skirts with petticoats. Almost everyone wore t-shirts and jeans, and she suddenly felt so out of place.

“Rey? What’s wrong?”

She looked up at Ben, who stood beside her with a quizzical look on his face, luggage in each hand.

“I...I feel overdressed.” She gestured to all of her, growing more conscious with each passing moment. She could feel eyes on her. “I didn’t bring anything else besides dresses. Is it too late to go buy more...appropriate clothes?”

“There’s nothing inappropriate about what you’re wearing,” Ben remarked. “Besides, in a week’s time everyone will be wearing the same thing. Now, come. Let’s head to your room first.”

Rey followed Ben and Artoo through the hallways and towards the dormitories. Her room was at the second floor, and offered a great view of the school grounds. But what struck Rey the most was the fact that her room felt like home—big fluffy pillows on silk spreads, a desk by the window from which she could study, a dresser with a mirror at one side of the room, and on the other, shelves with porcelain dolls, teddy bears and books. But what excited her most was a dollhouse at the corner.

She ran towards it, unable to help but squeal with delight. It wasn’t just any dollhouse, but an exact replica of Alderaan Manor, and she eagerly checked out its contents, overjoyed to find not just detailed miniatures of furniture, but also dolls that resembled the occupants of the house.

“I thought you might miss home, so I decided to have this made for you.” Ben said, and she turned to him, surprised to find him kneeling beside her. “Do you like it?”

“I love it!” she declared, unable to curb her enthusiasm as she took two dolls to show him. “This is you and me right?”

Ben nodded, and Rey thought she could detect just the faintest of smiles on his full lips.

She wondered what it would be like to kiss him. She wondered even more where that thought came from.

As if he read something in her eyes, Ben stood up abruptly. “Well...you’ll have to unpack later after class. Put your books, notebooks and pens in a bag and we’ll head off to meet the headmistress.”

Rey put the dolls back and hurried to do as she was told, filling her light brown satchel with school supplies before heading out the door with Ben and Artoo. Down the hall, they parted ways with the chauffeur as he headed back to the car and they walked the flight of stairs which led to the headmistress’s office.

They approached the door leading to the office. Ben raised his hand to knock when a tall, elderly gentleman wearing a fedora and a trench coat stepped out of the double doors.

“Oh, excuse me, sir.” Ben stepped out of the way, as did Rey, but the gentleman remained unmoving.

Frowning, Rey looked up to see what the holdup was about when she saw the old man staring back at her with the most piercing blue eyes she had ever seen. But more conspicuous was the grotesque scar that traversed the side of his wrinkled and pockmarked face, and Rey had to avert her eyes. She had been taught it was impolite to stare.

“Sir, may we pass please?” Ben said gently, and it was only then that the old man seemed to gather his bearings and step away from the door.

Ben entered first, and Rey hurried after him, a shiver running down her spine when she realized the scarred old man was still staring after them, particularly at her, and so it was a relief when the door finally closed behind her.

“Benjamin! How wonderful it is to see you.”

Rey turned away from the door to look towards the voice, and found a slim older lady standing up from behind a large desk at the end of the office. She was quick to cross the room, and while Ben held his hand out for a shake, the lady ignored it and instead, threw her arms around him.

“Nice to see you too, Miss Holdo,” Ben said stiffly.

“Oh, none of that formality, please, Benjamin,” the lady chided with a smile before letting him go, her blue eyes twinkling. “You know you can always call me Auntie Amilyn.”

Ben nodded. Rey had never seen him so flustered before. “Miss Hol...I mean Auntie Amilyn, this is Reynabelle. I’ve told you about her on the phone. Rey, this is Amilyn Holdo, Raddus Hall’s Headmistress and a close friend of my mother’s.”

“Ah yes.” Amilyn bent down to Rey’s eye level and held out her hand. “How do you do, young lady?”

“I’m fine, thank you for asking,” Rey replied and shook Amilyn’s hand. The woman wasn’t what Rey pictured in her mind for a ‘headmistress’. For one thing, Amilyn’s head of chin-length wavy hair was purple, though it did have streaks of gray in it. She also wore a mauve pants suit that actually complimented her hair color quite a bit.

“Very polite.” Amilyn beamed and let go of Rey’s hand. “Come, have a seat, and let’s discuss a few things before you go to your classroom.”

For the next ten minutes, Rey listened as Amilyn went through the general background and history of the school as well as a brief list of school rules and regulations before handing Rey a copy of the school handbook. After some small talk with Ben and some more grown up talk about arrangements and expenses, Amilyn rose to her feet. “Now that that’s over with, shall we now go to your classroom?”

Rey nodded, and together with Ben, followed the headmistress through the school’s many halls. Rey hoped she wouldn’t get lost in here, and made a note to explore the school once she got the chance.

“Ah, here we are.” Amilyn gestured for Rey to enter through an open door. She could hear the chattering of students inside, and she took a few tentative steps towards the doorway before looking back at Ben, suddenly a little panicked. It didn’t hit her until then how final the moment was; that she would be facing this new world all alone. Ben would be leaving for work and she wouldn’t see him again until the week was over.

On impulse, she turned and flung herself to Ben, wrapping her arms around his torso and pressing her cheek against his abdomen in what was the first hug she had ever given him her entire life.

He didn’t move, nor speak, and neither did she. Instead, she just tightened her hold on him and hoped against hope that he understood what she was trying to say without words.

Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he gently pushed her away.

“Go,” he said, his voice and face soft. “You’ll do fine. Remember that I’m just a call or text away.”

“Okay,” Rey nodded, and found herself smiling a little as she turned towards the doorway again. With a deep breath, she held her head high and stepped in to the classroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's about to enter into a new world now. Will she fit in? Stay tuned to find out!
> 
> As always, I love interacting with you guys so leave a comment and let's talk story beats, predictions and whatnot. Hope to have you guys join me again in the next installments of Blossoming!


	8. FRIENDS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey makes some new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Another early update? Am I spoiling you guys? No, you're spoiling me! Interactions with you guys via the comments section have been so fun and engaging that here's another update for you! That and the fact that we just hit 7000 hits, I think that calls for a little celebration. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Oh, and let's pretend I know anything about Forbes Magazine. This is an alternate universe reality after all.

Rey entered the classroom with dread, and for good reason. Because the moment she stepped inside, the chatter died down and all eyes turned towards her.

She froze. Just like the students she had seen outside, everyone in the class wore shirts and jeans. She was the only one wearing a dress, and she felt her cheeks grow hot when the silence turned into whispers.

_“What in the world is she wearing?”_

_“What is she, like, eight or something?”_

_“Looks like someone didn’t get the memo.”_

_“Is that a petticoat? Who even wears that anymore?”_

Rey looked back at the doorway, hoping to see Ben there but found the hallway empty. Ben and Amilyn had already gone, and she was left all alone to face this.

Taking a deep breath, Rey squared her shoulders and made her way to the back of the class, where she spotted an empty desk at the corner. She could still feel eyes on her as she walked towards it, and it was only after she had taken her seat that the other students began chatting among themselves again.

Relieved to have the attention away from herself, Rey put her satchel bag on the floor beside her and began to wait patiently for the teacher to come in.

“Hey,” a voice called from beside her, and Rey turned to see an Asian girl with straight, jet-black hair held up in a ponytail grinning at her. “I like your dress. It has a Lolita vibe to it.”

“Lolita?” Rey repeated. The name sounded familiar.

“You know. Lolita fashion,” the girl reiterated gesturing at Rey. “Girly dresses that make you look like a doll?” When Rey still looked at her quizzically, she prodded, “It’s a term from a book by Nabokov?”

Rey’s eyes widened as a memory assailed her. She had been twelve then, and looking for a book to read in the manor’s library when she came across Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. She remembered because Ben had been at the library at the time too, and he had snatched the book from her hands and looked at her with equal parts alarm and horror.

Rey decided to answer with a half truth. “Sorry, I’m not familiar.”

 “Really? It’s a pretty infamous book,” the girl declared. “Why? Don’t like to read?”

“I actually love to read.” Rey beamed, happy to settle on the subject of a hobby. “I read a lot of Jane Austen.”

“Oh, I love Jane Austen too! Pride and Prejudice is the best.” The girl smiled back and held out her hand. Rey took it with a firm shake. “I’m Rose by the way. Rose Tico. And this here’s my boyfriend, Finn Wolff.”

Rey tilted her head a bit so she could look at the dark-skinned boy with an infectious smile sitting beside Rose. He waved at Rey, and she waved back before turning to Rose. “Boyfriend?”

“Yeah. We only recently got together.” Rose giggled, then stopped. She must’ve quickly caught on to the look of bewilderment in Rey’s face. “Wait. Don’t tell me you don’t know what a boyfriend is?”

Rey considered fibbing, but decided to come clean with a shake of her head. “I’ve been homeschooled all my life,” she explained, and Rose’s jaw dropped. “This is the first time I’ve ever been to an actual school.”

“Get out,” Rose whispered.

Rey instantly grew flustered. “I...I’m sorry. You...want me to get out?”

“No, silly! It’s just an expression.” Rose laughed but quickly caught herself when Rey lowered her head. “Sorry, I’m not laughing _at_ you. It’s just...you’re such a breath of fresh air. I like that.”

“Thank you,” was all Rey could say, not quite sure whether that was a compliment or not. But Rose seemed friendly enough, so she decided to introduce herself. “I’m Reynabelle, by the way. You can call me Rey.”

“Nice to meet you, Rey.” Rose continued to smile. She couldn’t seem to stop doing so, but Rey thought it suited her cheery disposition. “Rey...what? What’s your last name?”

Rey hesitated. She had only known one surname her entire life, but she had never had to introduce herself with it, and she certainly didn’t like to. But the truth of the matter was Ben had never officially adopted her. And why would he? She was born from a loose, unfaithful woman and a faceless father. She could be anyone’s...

“Snoke,” she finally said in a small voice. “My last name is Snoke.”

“Snoke?” This time, it was Finn who spoke up, leaning forward on his desk so he could look at Rey. “Are you related to Abraham Snoke? One of Raddus Hall’s benefactors?”

“Uhm I don’t know,” Rey said unsurely. “My mother was estranged from her family, even back when she was still alive so I really don’t know of any relatives from her side.”

“Hold on.” Rose held up a hand. “I’m confused. You’re saying your mother’s the Snoke? You took your mother’s last name?”

Rey nodded.

“What about your father?” Finn questioned.

“I...don’t have one,” Rey admitted, and when she saw the way Rose and Finn looked at each other, she quickly added, “I do have a stepfather though. His name is Benjamin Solo.”

“Benjamin Solo?” Rose’s eyes widened. “ _The_ Benjamin Solo? CEO of Solo Shipping Enterprises?”

“Yes, that’s him.” Rey sat up straight, a soft smile on her lips. “You’ve heard of him?”

Rose looked at her incredulously. “Oh, I don’t know. He was only on the cover of _Forbes freakin’ magazine_ as one of their 30 Under 30 CEOs a few years back.”

Yes, Rey remembered the photo shoot for that cover. She had only been nine or ten years old then, and had watched from a corner of the study as a professional photographer took photo after photo. Ben hadn’t been too happy to do it, but it was for the good of the company’s image, and he had managed to channel his contempt for the shoot into an intensity that captured Rey’s attention. It had been the first time she realized that Ben, in spite of his large ears which he kept hidden under his long, dark waves, the somewhat asymmetrical features of his face and the moles that dotted his pale skin, was actually a rather attractive man.

“How do you know this stuff about Benjamin Solo, Rose?” Finn asked.

“My parents actually work for him,” Rose stated proudly, piquing Rey’s interest. “They’ve been with the company since back when it was still run by his parents. Of course, Benjamin Solo had to take over after his parents died in that car accident. I think he was barely twenty then.”

Rey nodded. That much, she knew, and it was also not long after the accident when Ben met Annabelle. He had met her during a very vulnerable time in his life...

“Heads up, the teacher’s here.” Finn whispered, cutting off Rey’s train of thought.

“We’ll talk more after class, Rey.” Rose straightened in her seat, dropping her voice just as the teacher entered the room. “Want to have lunch with us later?”

Rey didn’t have to think twice.

“I’d like that,” she said with a smile. “I’d like that very much.”

* * *

Rose and Finn talked a streak to Rey, and by the time lunch period came, she already knew more about the two of them. Rose shared her same love for books, especially the classics. She and her older sister Paige were second generation immigrants from Vietnam, and their parents had worked their way up the corporate ladder of Solo Shipping Enterprises. Rose even mentioned how she and her sister had been to the offices of the company, which made Rey a little envious. She had never been there, much less to Ben’s office.

Finn on the other hand was an only child, and used to go to the First Order Academy before he transferred to The Raddus Hall after his parents had to relocate for a better job offer. He and Rose met when his family moved in to Rose’s neighborhood and they had been inseparable ever since. Finn planned on joining the school paper first chance he got, having a knack for writing and journalism. He had also been a writer for the school paper back in his First Order Academy days.

“That’s why I’m familiar with obscure information like school benefactors. Have to do your research if you’re to write accurate articles after all,” Finn explained during lunch, speaking between bites of his sandwich. “How about you, Rey? Maybe you’d like to join the school paper too? Or any of the school clubs?”

“I don’t really write,” Rey admitted, taking a small bite of her own sandwich. “Besides, I have a curfew. I don’t have time for other things besides school.”

“That sucks,” Rose commented. “I was going to have you join the school book club. You would like it.”

“Yes, but my stepfather is pretty firm about me being in my room by seven in the evening.”

“Seven? Damn, that’s too early,” Rose whined, twirling her plate of spaghetti with a fork. Then, she perked up. “I know, maybe Finn and I can go to your room. That way, you won’t have to be out after seven.”

“Sorry,” Rey said sheepishly, darting her eyes to Finn. “I’m not allowed boys in my room either. Rose can come though.”

“Eh,” Finn said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Understandable. There are school rules against boys and girls being in the same dorm room after all.”

“But why though?” Rey asked. She hadn’t been able to ask Ben why boys weren’t allowed in her room. Now would be her first chance at an explanation. “It’s not like they’re going to do anything in the rooms besides study and sleep, right?”

She watched as Finn and Rose stared at her as if she had grown a second head, before they turned to share a look. “What?”

Rose cleared her throat. “Rey…I know you’re new to all this, so I’m going to keep it plain and simple. The school doesn’t want boys and girls to be in the same room because they might…engage in sexual activities.”

“Sexual activities?” Rey repeated with a hard swallow, her mind barreling back to the book she had read. “You mean…the school’s afraid that the students might have sex?”

“That, among other things. Even kissing isn’t allowed on school grounds.” Rose pursed her lips, then continued eating her spaghetti. “Of course, the administration can’t control what happens outside of the school.”

Rey looked from Rose to Finn, then back to Rose again, lifting a finger to point between the two. “Have you two ever…had sex?”

“Okay, this is getting awkward,” Finn said, raising his hands. Then, he turned and waved at someone. “Oh, look Rose. It’s your sister and her friends. Hey, guys!”

Rey turned to the direction where Finn was waving and found three older students making their way towards them. One of them, Rey assumed, was Rose’s sister. The other girl was blonde with her hair up in a bun. Then there was the only boy in the group, a tanned, dark-haired young man with twinkling eyes and an arresting smile that made Rey squirm in her seat.

“Hey, Finn.” Rose’s sister reached over to bump fists with Finn. “You taking care of my little sister right?”

Finn puffed up his chest. “Yes, ma’am.”

“You better. Or else I’ll break both your legs,” Rose’s sister chuckled, then turned towards Rey. “I see you guys made a new friend.”

“Yes.” Rose leaned over excitedly. “Rey, this is my sister, Paige Tico. Paige, this is Reynabelle Snoke. Rey for short. She’s the stepdaughter of Benjamin Solo.”

“Mom and Dad’s boss? Sweet,” Paige declared, beaming at Rey. Rey smiled back and held out her hand, which seemed to surprise Paige but she took it anyway. She then gestured to her blonde friend. “This is Kaydel Ko Connix.”

“Hi,” Kaydel said in disinterested tone. Rey tried holding out her hand to her, but the girl wouldn’t take it, prompting Rey to withdraw her hand self-consciously.

“And this is Poe Dameron.” Paige pointed to the boy in the group. “The three of us are juniors here.”

“Hello, Rey.” Poe stepped forward, and much to Rey’s surprise, took her hand and kissed her knuckle. “It’s an absolute pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh, stop it, Poe.” Kaydel rolled her eyes. “She’s just a kid.”

 “Yeah? So are we. We’re not eighteen yet,” Poe protested, though by his wide smile, Rey surmised that he was just humoring Kaydel.

“You’d fuck anything that moves,” Kaydel grumbled and looked away with a pout. Rey almost gasped when she heard the curse word. She’d only ever heard it spoken one time by their chef, when he cut himself cooking. Ben had given her a stern talking after she repeated it in front of him.

“Oh, Kaydel. I’m hurt.” Poe dramatically put a hand over his chest. “Come on. It’s all in the past. It’s a fresh new year. Why not let bygones be bygones?”

“Don’t mind them,” Rose whispered to Rey. “They used to be boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Rey nodded, understanding and yet at the same time not. She realized then that she still had a lot to learn especially in traversing the complexities of relationships.

“Anyway,” Poe turned back to Rey when Kaydel refused to speak to him, “Reynabelle Snoke, huh? Any chance you’re related to Annabelle Snoke?”

Rey’s eyes widened. She had never had a relative stranger mention Annabelle before. “Yes. She was my mother. How did you know?”

“Ha! I knew it.” Poe practically pumped his fist in the air. “She was a good friend of my parents before they divorced and she continued to be friends with my dad after that.”

“Really?” Rey raised her eyebrows. After all the whispers she had heard about Annabelle, she couldn’t imagine her being a good friend to anyone.

Poe nodded, and there was something unreadable in his eyes when he stared at Rey. “My dad and I were even at her funeral. I was seven at the time. I think I remember you. You were holding your father’s hand and he left you before the burial was finished.” He paused for a moment, before adding gently, “I remember because I couldn’t get the image of you chasing after him out of my head.”

Rey felt a blush rise up her cheeks at the way Poe looked and spoke to her. There was something soft about it, but dangerous at the same time. She couldn’t understand the way he was making her feel at the moment. Or perhaps she was just feeling this way because he had brought back one of her earliest childhood memories—the first of many instances wherein Ben pushed her away, and she suddenly felt a bout of sadness wash over her.

“A shared history. Great,” Kaydel groaned from beside him.

“Don’t be jealous, Kaydel,” Poe chided with a laugh. “We have shared history too. Besides, how often do I meet someone from my past? I call that Fate.”

“I call it coincidence,” Kaydel retorted, then threw her hands in the air. “Enough of this. Let’s just go.”

“Alright.” Paige turned towards the younger students with a smile. “We’ll see you guys around.”

“Sure. Bye!” Rose and Finn waved as the older students moved towards the cafeteria’s exit. Rey raised a hand in a wave as well, her face flushing when she saw Poe turn to give her one last wink before disappearing at the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Rey makes friends after all. There are still good people in the world (^_^) We also now of course, include some new cast of characters in the mix. Let's see how they interact in future installments.
> 
> Now, in regards to the updates. I am about 90% done with chapter 9 and am currently outlining chapters 10-11. Do you guys prefer early updates, as in I update as soon as I'm done proofreading a chapter? Or do you prefer I wait and space out the updates some more? Please let me know your thoughts on this in the comments section, as well as your thoughts on the story so far. I find that I work faster and get more ideas when I read your comments so thank you for that.
> 
> Until the next update, May the Force be With You!


	9. MESSAGES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben feels a sudden pang of loneliness until he receives an unexpected text message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's another early update for you guys! Keeping it short and sweet this time. Thanks for the 8000 hits!

He was in the dining room. After what felt like weeks of having to dine in his study in order to stay away from Rey, Ben was finally eating in the dining room, the sounds of utensils against the plate seeming to echo throughout its walls.

Classical music wafted as it always did from an old gramophone they had at the corner of the room. He found it enjoyable to dine with soft music playing, and Rey did too, even though she never said as much whenever they ate together. But he could just tell by the way she swayed her head to the tune, sometimes humming along with it, that she shared his same taste for finer music.

Only, Rey wasn’t here. The chair beside him was empty, the room devoid of any presence except his own and the occasional comings and goings of Threepio as he served the different courses.

One more glance at the empty chair, and Ben puts his knife and fork down before wiping his lips with a napkin. He was suddenly no longer hungry.

Leaving his plate half full, Ben stood up from the long table and wandered aimlessly throughout the manor—through the hallways and the foyer, his eyes on the crystal chandelier above as he made his way up the great stairs, only tearing his gaze away from the sparkling crystals when he arrived at the hall which led to the rooms.

He told himself that he was going to his room; maybe do some light reading while having a nightcap before heading to bed. But his feet led him elsewhere—to the room across his, and as if it had a mind of its own, his hand reached for the knob to open the door.

The creaking sounds of the opening door reverberated through the hall as he swung it open. He switched on the lights, revealing the pastel-hued room filled with laces, frills and silk, with teddy bears, dolls and dollhouses.

His mind wandered back to what had happened earlier—how happy Rey had been with the new dollhouse he gave her. How she had looked at him with such adoration, and when he saw the way her eyes darted to his lips, he’d had the inexplicable urge to kiss her.

He shook his head off the memory, only to be assailed by the next one—the warmth of her cheek against his stomach, the tightness of her embrace as she gave him the first hug he’d ever received from her; and if it hadn’t been for the presence of Amilyn Holdo, he might have pulled Rey into his arms and returned the embrace tenfold.

He groaned and dragged a palm across his face. He’d sent her away to curb his want of her; but instead he was longing for her—longing for her company, the sound of her voice, the sight of her smiling face. It was like he was having withdrawals and Rey was the drug.

Whatever happened to the time when he saw her as nothing but a shackle—a promise made to a dying woman? A reminder of his shattered heart? Since when did Rey become more than just his ward?

An alert noise interrupted his musings. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he felt his heart leap to his throat when he saw the message notification.

> **Rey**  
>  _Ben?_

His mind instantly running emergency scenarios in his head, he quickly texted back.

> **Ben** _  
> Yes, Rey? Is something wrong?_
> 
> **Rey**  
>  _Can I text you even if it’s not an emergency?_

Ben’s shoulders relaxed, and he walked further inside the room to sit on the edge of the pink bed.

> **Ben** _  
> Yes, of course. What is it?_

Rey’s replies were slow, and Ben imagined she was still struggling with texting. But he was patient.

> **Rey**  
>  _I made some friends today._

That was a relief.

> **Ben** _  
> I knew you would. What are their names?_

The next reply was a selfie of Rey with her two new friends, and Ben had to smile despite himself. She was learning her way through her phone.

> **Rey**  
>  _This is Rose Tico and Finn Wolff. They introduced me to others too. Juniors. Paige Tico, Kaydel Ko Connix and Poe Dameron._
> 
> **Ben** _  
> Tico. Sounds familiar._

Dameron sounded familiar too, but he couldn’t put his finger on why.

> **Rey** _  
> Rose said her parents work for the company._
> 
> **Ben** _  
> Yes, now I remember. The Ticos are hardworking people. You would do well to be friends with her._
> 
> **Rey** _  
> Also Poe says Mother was friends with his dad. They were even at her funeral. Do you know the Damerons?_

Dameron. Dameron. Why was the name so familiar? Annabelle had so many so-called ‘friends’ that it was hard to keep up.

He decided to answer truthfully.

> **Ben** _  
> I don’t recall._

Then, he hesitated for a moment before firing his next message.

> **Ben** _  
> How are you Rey?_
> 
> **Rey** _  
> I’m doing fine. I still feel I was overdressed. People looked at me funny and they were whispering about me._

That made Ben chew on his lower lip.

> **Ben** _  
> Don’t worry. You’ll get your uniform next week._
> 
> **Rey** _  
> I know. At least Rose likes my dress. She thinks it makes me look like a Lolita._

Ben swallowed. Over the years, Rey had fallen in love with Victorian porcelain dolls and loved dressing up like them. He hadn’t protested to it, and even encouraged it to the point of having dresses custom made for her and her room furnished like a dollhouse. It made her look pure and innocent—like a delicate flower yet to be in full bloom; like an angel without wings; everything her mother wasn’t. But now that she was being described as Lolita, he felt as if his vision of her innocence was being tarnished.

Despite his distance, he had done everything he could to keep her in a child-like state, but he knew the rose bud was slowly blossoming, and he feared it. Feared the power its beauty might hold on him. He had already fallen under that spell once...

Shaking away from his thoughts, Ben crafted a reply.

> **Ben** _  
> That’s not a very nice term._ _Lolita is a highly inappropriate book._
> 
> **Rey** _  
> Why do you have it in the library then?_

That gave Ben a pause. He had to give the girl credit for being sharp.

> **Ben** _  
> It’s a classic. I like to collect classics. Besides, that book isn’t suitable for children._
> 
> **Rey** _  
> When do I get to read it?_
> 
> **Ben** _  
> When you’re older._
> 
> **Rey** _  
> I am a day older today than I was yesterday :)_

Ben blinked. Did Rey’s just make her first attempt at a joke with him?

> **Ben** _  
> Very funny, Rey. But no._

He stopped for a moment, then quickly fired another text message before she could reply.

> **Ben** _  
> How are your classes?_

The next minute had Rey updating Ben on her classes, how it wasn’t so hard and how her teachers were very accommodating. Ben, in turn, told her about his workload, all the reports he had to do and the meetings he went through and it was only after he had sent the message that he started to worry.

> **Ben**  
>  _Sorry. I’m probably boring you with work talk._
> 
> **Rey** _  
> No, not at all. You never tell me these things when we’re together. It’s nice to hear you talk about work. Or at least read about it through text._

Ben didn’t know how to respond to that. It was true. He never talked to her about work. Their conversations had mostly been about her health and studies, at least up until recently, when things started to change for them…

Another message notification chimed in.

> **Rey** _  
> I miss home._

Ben sighed.

> **Ben** _  
> I know you do. That’s why I got you that dollhouse, remember?_
> 
> **Rey** _  
> I wish I could shrink myself so I can fit in the dollhouse._
> 
> **Ben** _  
> You don’t have to. In a few days, you’ll be back home._
> 
> **Rey** _  
> Will you be home when I get there?_

Ben’s fingers hovered over the screen, the replies in his head ranging from ‘yes’, to ‘no’ to ‘maybe’. But one option won out, and he texted:

>   **Ben** _  
> Does it matter?_

He hit send, and instantly regretted it. He felt disgusted with himself. He sounded petulant, almost like a needy child wanting validation. He was about to try and steer to another subject when Rey replied.

> **Rey** _  
> Yes, it does, Ben. It always has._

He stared at the message for what seemed like a full minute, and he felt the twinge in his heart bloom to a pleasant ache that warmed him all over.

It mattered, she said. It always had.

> **Ben** _  
> I’ll be here when you get home._
> 
> **Rey** _  
> I’m glad :) I’ll see you on Friday_
> 
> **Ben** _  
> See you then._

* * *

Rey smiled from ear to ear as she lay on her bed, scrolling through the first text exchange she had ever had with Ben. It was probably one of the longest conversations they had ever had too, and it felt as if Ben was an entirely different person over the phone that she had to wonder if it was really him at the other end.

Or did she dare hope that he had somehow changed? That he had finally warmed up and opened up to her? It was probably foolish to hope especially after his years of being distant towards her, but it was a hope she was starting to hold on to, and she couldn’t see herself letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you it was short and sweet. Now, in regards to the next chapter, I like to be two chapters ahead so while the next chapter is finished, I will probably wait until I'm done with chapter 11 or 12 before I post it. Don't worry as it shouldn't take long.
> 
> Oh, and I also tend to post chapters once every 1000 views so you might expect the next chapter to post around 9000 hits. It's just a little game I play, seeing which gets their faster, the finished chapter or the number of hits LOL
> 
> Thanks again for reading guys! Feel free to leave a kudos, a comment, or subscribe to this fic for updates.


	10. MISCOMMUNICATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's easy to have miscommunications over text messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mentioned in the end notes in the previous chapter, I play this little game wherein I post a chapter every 1000 views. We're only about 30 views to 9000 but I've decided to post anyway because I don't think I can stay up and wait anymore LOL. It's a long-ish update, almost 3000 words and I hope you enjoy reading this chapter just as I enjoyed writing it :)

A few days passed by without much fanfare. Rey had taken to having lunch with Rose and Finn every day, liking them more and more as she got to know them. Poe would join them at times, though his attention would mostly be on Rey, talking to her as if Rose and Finn didn’t exist. Sometimes, Rey would notice Kaydel in the background, glaring daggers her way but Poe had since told her not to mind, and Rey tried not to, albeit with some difficulty.

That day, Poe once again joined them for lunch but Rey’s concentration was on her phone as she scrolled up to read the previous messages she had exchanged with Ben that morning. They had been swapping more text messages as of late, mostly exchanging pleasantries and asking after each other, though Rey did send the occasional selfie (Rose had taught her that word). In fact, just this morning, she had sent Ben a photo of her outfit for the day—a white, high-collared long-sleeved blouse underneath a blue sundress with pink vintage flower patterns. A pink ribbon wound its way around her slim waist, and on her feet she wore knee high socks and black Mary Jane’s.

> **Ben** _  
> Why don’t you wear a pink ribbon in your hair?_
> 
> **Rey** _  
> I don’t know. Don’t you think that would be a little much?_
> 
> **Ben** _  
> I think it will look better on you._

And that was all it took for Rey to add the pink ribbon, a delicate bow resting atop her head. She had quickly taken another selfie and sent it over.

> **Rey** _  
> There. Happy?_
> 
> **Ben** _  
> :)_
> 
> **Rey** _  
> Why don’t you send me what you’re wearing?_

It had taken a while for Ben to reply, and when he did, it was a snapshot of himself in his usual suit and tie. He had several of course in various shades, though Rey noticed he had a preference for blacks and dark greys.

> **Ben** _  
> I wear practically the same thing to work every day. I don’t know why you would want to see it._
> 
> **Rey** _  
> It’s only fair. I show you mine, you show me yours._

Ben hadn’t replied after that, which Rey found strange because he usually replied immediately, and she wondered if she had texted something wrong. Perhaps he was just busy with work, she had reasoned, but that didn’t stop her from pouring over her messages, trying to discern if she had indeed texted the wrong thing.

A sigh rang from beside her, and she looked up from her phone to see Poe with an exasperated look on his face. “I wish I were a smart phone. Maybe then _somebody_ will notice me.”

“What?” Rey’s brows furrowed, and when she saw Rose and Finn stare at her with the same look of exasperation, she said, “What’s wrong?”

“Rey, you’ve been looking at your phone since lunch started,” Finn pointed out. “You barely even touched your food.”

“Oh, sorry.” Rey reluctantly put her phone on the table. “It’s my stepfather. He usually texts back immediately. He hasn’t since this morning. I’m worried I might have texted something wrong.”

“Let me see.” Rose grabbed her phone before she could protest. One look at the screen, and the girl’s eyes widened in shock. After a moment, Rose quietly said, “Rey...you do know what your last message to him meant, right?”

“You mean ‘I show you mine, you show me yours’?” Rey said, and instantly, Poe spit out his drink while Finn choked on his hamburger. “What? What did I say?”

“Seriously?” Poe sputtered, then looked at Rey in disbelief. “You don’t know what it means? What kind of rock were you living under?”

“Oh, give her a break, Poe,” Rose protested and handed Rey back her phone. “You already know she was homeschooled all her life. She’s new to all this.”

“Okay, sorry.” Poe held up his hands as if it would keep Rose’s anger at bay. “You want me to explain to her?”

“No, I’ll do it.” Rose straightened herself in her seat. “Rey... ‘I show you mine, you show me yours’ is a game kids play when they...show each other their private parts.”

“You basically asked your stepfather to show you his penis,” Poe chimed in, earning a screech from Rose.

“Poe!”

“What? I’m just saying.”

Rose and Poe began to argue, but Rey could barely hear them. She was too mortified to concentrate on anything other than the fact that she may have just asked Ben for a photo of his...his...

“Oh my God,” she finally cried out while frantically checking the settings of her phone. “I...I didn’t mean to! I just wanted us to swap photos of what we’re wearing. Is there a way to unsend a message?”

“Not unless you have a certain app, and even then you usually only have a limited time to unsend.” Finn shook his head. “Sorry, Rey.”

“What do I do?” Rey was growing more frantic. Oh, what would Ben think of her? “Do I apologize, or...”

“Sweetie, calm down.” Rose put a gentle hand on hers. “These things happen. Why don’t you take a deep breath?” Rey did as she was told. “That’s it. Now, just relax and pretend you never texted him that.”

“How can I pretend when it’s right there?” Rey showed her phone, the offending message still glaring from the screen.

“If you pretend it didn’t happen, maybe he will too,” Rose explained, her brows rising in such a way that told Rey the girl had an idea. “I know. Why don’t you send him a photo of what you’re eating? Just to be casual about things? Don’t mention your previous text. And say something cute.”

“O-okay.” Rey nodded and did as Rose had suggested, taking a photo of her salad and sending it to Ben with the message, ‘ _eating grass like a cow’_. She showed the message to Rose, who nodded in approval.

Rey almost dropped her phone when the message notification dinged. She immediately checked the text.

“Is it your stepfather?” Rose asked eagerly, leaning forward to try and see. “What did he say?”

Rey’s shoulders relaxed. “He just sent me a photo of his steak. He says _‘eating cow like a human being’_.” She laughed then, part from relief, part from genuinely finding the text funny. She didn’t realize Ben had such a sense of humor.

She looked at the picture again and paused. It was shot in such a way that told Rey that Ben was trying to be discreet. He didn’t hover the phone over his food to take the picture, but it was taken at an angle, showing everything in the background including the person dining with Ben—a rather attractive woman with platinum blonde hair and wearing the reddest lipstick Rey had ever seen.

She felt her teeth clench together, and she fired back a message.

> **Rey** _  
> Who’s that with you?_
> 
> **Ben** _  
> Denise Phasma, a good friend._

“Rey? What’s wrong this time?” Finn looked at her quizzically. “Why are you pouting like that?”

“Hmm?” Rey looked up at Finn for a moment before staring at her phone again. “It’s nothing. My stepfather’s having lunch with Denise Phasma.”

“Denise Phasma?!” Rose squealed and grabbed Rey’s phone again, her jaw dropping when she saw the picture. “Oh my God, it _is_ her!”

“Who is she?” Rey tried to keep her voice casual.

“She’s the COO of Hux & Son Technologies,” Rose informed, excitement clear in her voice. “She was in Forbes once too.”

“Didn’t she used to be a model?” Poe recalled.

Rose nodded. “She was in Vogue, yes. She’s so beautiful! Hey, Rey, do you think your stepfather’s dating her?”

“I...don’t know...” Rey swallowed as she took the phone from Rose and stared at the photo again. It looked like they were in some fancy restaurant, and Phasma was certainly dressed to kill in a glittering silver dress.

Then, an idea wormed its way into her head. Something told her it was a bad idea, but it had latched on to her and wouldn’t let go.

Turning to Poe, she said, “Hey, Poe. How about taking a selfie with me?”

“Huh? Really?” Poe’s tanned cheeks colored, a smile quickly forming on his lips. “Uh, sure, Rey.”

Rey turned so she was shoulder to shoulder with Poe, her head close to his cheek. She held out her phone to prepare for the photo, smiling as she did when Poe suddenly put his arm around her just as she snapped a shot. Awkwardly, she extricated herself from him, gave him a small ‘thanks’ before sending the photo to Ben.

> **Rey** _  
> Having lunch with Poe Dameron._

With a self-satisfied smile on her face, Rey put her phone down and began digging in to her salad in earnest.

It wasn’t long before she received a reply.

> **Ben** _  
> Rey, I thought we agreed no boys._

Rey stopped eating and composed her response.

> **Rey** _  
> You said no boys in my room. We’re not in my room. We’re in the cafeteria._
> 
> **Ben** _  
> It doesn’t matter. I don’t want you dating at your age._
> 
> **Rey** _  
> Poe and I are not dating._
> 
> **Ben** _  
> Then why did you let him put his arm around you? That’s not how proper little girls are supposed to behave._

Something seemed to snap inside Rey, and she began typing furiously on her phone.

> **Rey** _  
> I’m not a little girl anymore, Ben. I’m almost fourteen._

Ben’s reply was swift.

> **Ben** _  
> Are you talking back to me, young lady?_

He was angry. She could tell. But so was she, and it overrode any semblance of reason she still had.

> **Rey** _  
> Stop calling me that. I’m not a child._
> 
> **Ben** _  
> Then stop acting like one._

It was a curt reply, and Rey found herself shaking with a sudden bout of rage.

> **Rey** _  
> You want me to stop acting like a child? Fine, I will._
> 
> **Ben** _  
> Fine._

Rey practically slammed her phone down the table. She was angry—a feeling so foreign to her, she wasn’t sure what to do with herself.

“You okay, Rey?” Finn asked. He looked more than a little troubled. “You seem really pissed.”

Rey didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Not when she was still seething. She had never been angry with Ben before, and for some reason, she grew even more furious when she remembered his photo with Denise Phasma.

“You look cute when you’re angry,” Poe remarked, and Rey turned to glare at him. It only made his smile widen even more.

“I’m not cute,” she said with a growl.

“No, you’re not,” Poe agreed, then rested his jaw on his palm and added, “Cute isn’t enough to describe you. You’re gorgeous, Rey.”

That gave Rey a pause. Poe didn’t sound like he was mocking her. In fact, he sounded serious. Almost dreamy even, and she felt her fiery anger dissipate into a shy warmth as she looked away.

“Eww,” Finn stated.

“Barf,” Rose followed before turning to Rey again. “So, what was that all about?”

Rey sighed deeply. She wasn’t sure how to explain the text exchange she had with Ben, so she decided to put it simply. “My stepfather treats me like a child and I...I want to show him I’m not.”

“You can start by doing a wardrobe makeover,” Poe suggested, and everyone in the table including Rey turned towards him. “It’s a start isn’t it?”

“I actually think that’s a good idea.” Rose nodded in agreement, then put her finger and her thumb against her chin as she eyed Rey’s clothes. “You dress your age and maybe he will look at you differently.”

“What’s wrong with the way I dress?” Rey asked, even though she already knew the answer.

“Nothing. If you live in like 1910,” Rose said, not unkindly. “Rey, you know I love your wardrobe. I even want them for myself, but you really should wear more age-appropriate clothes.”

“I know.” Rey let out a deep breath. “I told Ben that, but he said it won’t matter anyway since we’ll be wearing uniforms soon.”

“You’re still going home on weekends, right?” Rose’s eyes were sparkling mischievously. “Wouldn’t it be great if you came home wearing new clothes? I bet it’ll shock him into finally seeing you as a young adult.”

Rey thought about it for a moment. She was liking the idea more and more, but there was a problem. “How do I get new clothes? I mean, Ben gave me a credit card to use on extra school expenses, but the school isn’t selling casual clothes as far as I’m aware.”

“We could go to the mall,” Finn suggested. “Our classes end at 3:30. The mall is less than 15 minutes away. We could go there and have you back in your dorm room before your curfew.”

“Yes, but we’re not allowed off school grounds on weekdays,” Rose reminded him. “And we need to get Rey those new clothes before Friday.”

“I can get you off school grounds.”

Once again, everyone turned to Poe, who had a sly look on his face. “I’ve done it before. Other students do it all the time. You guys in?

Rey exchanged glances with Rose and Finn. This could be dangerous, she thought. They could get in trouble. But as she thought back to Ben’s text messages, only two words came to mind.

“We’re in.”

* * *

“Benjamin?”

“Hmm?” Ben looked up from his phone, half-surprised to find Denise Phasma sitting across from him. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that he had almost forgotten she was there. “I’m sorry. You were saying?”

Phasma’s red lips tightened a little but she appeared too poised to show annoyance. “I was just telling you about the time Hux’s cat bit my leg. It’s a funny story, actually. There I was, going in to report, when suddenly, this ball of orange fur came running towards me and...”

Phasma’s words went in one ear and out the other. Ben just kept nodding even though his mind was elsewhere, in particular to that one image attachment in his message inbox.

Rey, smiling, as Poe Dameron put his arm around her.

He felt his teeth clench again in much the same way it did when he first saw the image, his thoughts so focused on it that he actually forgot Rey’s earlier embarrassing misstep of a text message.

He should have known this, should have anticipated that boys would take notice of her, but he didn’t expect it to happen this soon.

Most of all, he didn’t anticipate how he himself would react—the darkening of his vision, the curling of his fingers into fists, the gnashing of his teeth.

Phasma continued to talk, and he continued his pretense of listening.

Dameron. That name had nagged at him ever since Rey mentioned it but now he wouldn’t be able to forget it. How close were they? Had she already allowed him to kiss her? Touch her the way he had all those many nights ago?

His face instantly reddened at the memories he thought he had long since buried. Events that had directly led to his sending Rey to a boarding school, and now to her being with that boy. It had all been _his_ fault. _He_ had touched her. Led her to explore herself. Sent her away. And most foolish of all, he had opened a line of communication between them and allowed her into his life despite all his plans to stay far away.

In the end, he couldn’t stay away...

“Benjamin, did you hear me?” Phasma’s voice finally broke through the haze of his thoughts.

“Oh, forgive me, Denise, I...” he tried to think back to the conversation at hand and managed to glean a few details. “...yes, Hux’s cat. Did you manage to get your shots?”

Phasma only stared at him, and it took a few beats before she spoke again. “Benjamin...you really haven’t listened to a word I said.”

“I’m sorry,” Ben apologized again, eyeing his phone, almost willing it to chime but it didn’t. “It’s just my stepdaughter. She’s acting out. What was it you were saying again?”

Phasma’s lips tightened into a fine line. “I said, this isn’t working out, you and I.”

Ben leaned back in his seat, staring as Phasma began to gather her purse. “But...but why? I thought we’ve been having a wonderful time together.”

“The past few days have been wonderful,” Phasma affirmed before adding, “Unless of course you count the times when you brood and talk about your stepdaughter and her boarding school shenanigans, which is like all the time.” Then, her hard features slowly softened. “Look. I appreciate your efforts in trying to rekindle our romance, but a lot has changed in five years. _You_ have changed. You have a lot more responsibilities now and I’m looking for someone more carefree.”

Slowly and gracefully, Phasma stood up from her chair. “I wish you all the best, Benjamin. And I do hope that you’re able to sort things out with your stepdaughter. Farewell.”

And with that, Phasma left the restaurant, finally leaving Ben alone with his ever darkening thoughts.

If Ben felt anything about her departure, it was a strange mixture of both regret and relief. Phasma was a good woman. They had parted amicably five years ago, and he thought that maybe, just maybe he could start anew with her, just as Rey seemed to be starting fresh with her own life.

And yet...

Grabbing his phone again, he scrolled up the messages and enlarged Rey and Poe’s picture, feeling as if a knife was twisting at his heart. It was not unlike what he had felt when he witnessed Annabelle’s betrayal...only, he had no right to feel betrayed.

No right at all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we've got a little friction between Ben and Rey now. Will they be able to resolve it? We're going to have to wait to find out. The next update won't be out any time soon, as this time around, I am only one chapter ahead and it's unfinished because I'm busy preparing for my father's hospitalization. I'll basically be there as his watcher, and I don't know if my mobile internet will have a strong enough signal in the hospital but I will definitely be bringing my laptop so I can at least continue to write. The next update though will definitely be out sometime next week so stay tuned for that.
> 
> As always, thank you dear readers for your kudos, subscriptions, bookmarks and especially your comments. Comments definitely fuel my writing and it is because of interactions with you guys that I'm able to muster the courage and the strength to continue. So thank you, thank you, thank you!


	11. ENCOUNTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and her friends go to the mall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I managed to finish this chapter while I'm in the hospital with my dad. His surgery's scheduled for today. Thank you for all the well-wishes! 
> 
> Now as for the update, let's pretend I know anything about boarding schools LOL but in this universe, the rules are different. I actually had to look up Quora to see how students usually get in and out of the school campus and I settled on one answer. You'll see what I mean when you read it.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this next chapter!

Rey had imagined their flight from school to be this adventurous caper, a grand escape like in some of the books she had read. Instead, it had involved simply signing in and out of a logbook and notifying their respective homeroom teachers about their plans to go out of campus and setting a 7pm curfew.

It was anticlimactic, really.

“The way you were bragging made it seem like it was Mission Impossible,” Rose spoke up from the backseat of Poe’s car, where she was squeezed in between Rey and Finn. “I thought it was going to be an adventure going out.”

“I wasn’t bragging,” Poe said from behind the wheel of his Mustang, looking through the rear view mirror so he could see his younger passengers. “And quit complaining. I got you guys out, didn’t I? You should count yourself lucky I have a car too.”

“Thanks, Poe,” Rey said, and she saw him flash a winning smile through the rear view mirror.

“Well, at least Rey appreciates me.”

Rey smiled back before peering out the window, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. It hadn’t taken them long to get downtown, and she found herself ogling at the tall skyscrapers, the lines of shops, and the bustling streets. She had never been to the city before, and it was a lot to take in.

“See that building over there?” Rose pointed to a particularly tall building with blue-tinted windows. “That’s where the offices of Solo Shipping Enterprises are. My parents are there now. Your stepfather probably is, too.”

Rey could only nod. She really didn’t want to think about Ben right now especially in light of their recent text exchange. He hadn’t texted back, and neither had she. It wasn’t that she was still angry. In fact, she had actually calmed down, but she could still feel the sting from their argument. She wondered how in the world they were going to mend it. Should she make the first move? After all, she did send that selfie with Poe which started it all.  

“We’re here,” Finn announced as the car made a turn. Rey stared out to see a four story rectangular building, its large windows plastered with shop signs, some with neon lights.

Poe parked the car in the mall parking lot and quickly stepped out of the vehicle to open the door for his passengers, but it was only to Rey that he offered his hand in assistance. Rey took it as she disembarked, and she thought she could feel Poe tremble a little.

“Okay.” Poe let go of her hand. “Now that we’re here, where do we start?”

“We’ll just go to the boutiques.” Rose reached out for Rey’s hand and threaded it in the crook of her arm. “You guys can go play videogames or something. We’ll text you when we’re done.”

“Aw, but I wanna see Rey model some new clothes,” Poe whined.

“No way.” Rose shook her head vehemently. “This is a girls’ thing. Come on, Rey!”

Rey allowed Rose to drag her towards the mall, up the steps and into the entrance. And what she saw inside left her breathless: shops upon shops selling various items, from clothes to toys, jewelry to food, shoes to sports equipment. Everything was so colorful and bright as to attract attention, and Rose had to pull her further inside lest she just spend the entire trip gawking at her surroundings.

They started with shoes first, with Rey changing from her Mary Jane’s to fit into a pair of sneakers and sandals. Rose also had her try on a pair of high-heeled shoes just for fun, though the fun lasted about as long as it took for Rey to maintain her balance, which wasn’t very long.

Rey ended up buying two pairs of sneakers and sandals before they headed to the boutiques to try on blouses and skirts. These were more in line with her tastes, although Rose had a tendency to bring her some rather short skirts.

“You’re sure this is okay?” Rey asked, emerging from the dressing room and turning around for Rose. She had on a long-sleeved baby pink cashmere sweater and a red pleated tartan skirt that was about two inches above her knees. “I feel a bit underdressed. The skirt’s too short.”

“Better than being overdressed,” Rose reminded, tugging the hem of the skirt down a little. “Besides, it’s not that short. You have nice long legs, so you gotta flaunt it!”

Rey stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t vain by any stretch of the imagination, but even she had to admit that Rose was right.

After ringing in purchases for blouses, sweaters and different skirts of varying lengths, Rose then dragged Rey to the department store and into the section selling jeans, shorts and t-shirts.

“I don’t think so,” Rey said while Rose rummaged through a rack of pants. “Jeans aren’t... _me_.”

“We’re trying to bring out a whole new you, remember?” Rose took out a couple of jeans and a few shorts before moving to another rack to pick out some t-shirts. Rey followed behind, shopping bags in tow. “Besides, these will go well with your sneakers. Here.” Rose piled the clothes in Rey’s arms and took the shopping bags from her. “Let’s head to the dressing room.”

The department store dressing room had a total of six stalls, three on either side of the room, with a curtain covering the entrance of each stall. It didn’t appear as if anyone else was in the room as of the moment, and Rey quickly entered the closest stall on the right.

As with earlier, she had some difficulty getting out of her dress, but as soon as she did, she was able to try on one article of clothing after the other, mixing and matching until she found a few combinations to her liking, though she knew she would have to ask Rose if what she chose was fashionable.

She was about to step out of the stall when she heard whispers from outside.

“Finn! What are you doing here?”

“Shhh! I got away from Poe. No one’s in here, right?”

“Rey’s in there and...”

The whispers died down, and what came next were peculiar sounds. Sounds Rey had never heard before. Curious, she took a peek from behind the curtain and nearly gasped when she saw Rose and Finn locked in a passionate embrace, their lips melding into one another as Finn’s hand slowly slid down from Rose’s cheek and down to cup her relatively ample breast through her shirt.

Rey’s cheeks reddened, and she was suddenly taken back to the time when she herself had been touched that way. She hadn’t thought about that night in so long, but the feeling was certainly coming back now, making her heart race the way it did when Ben had engulfed her small breasts with his large hands, kneading gently while brushing his fingertips against her nipples.

She continued to watch. She really should turn away but she found herself fascinated. There was something gentle about their movements, but frantic too, as if they couldn’t get enough of each other. And when she saw Rose slip her tongue between Finn’s parted lips, it was all she could do to muffle a squeak.

She tore her eyes from the scene and stepped away from the curtain so fast that she almost lost her balance. On instinct, she grabbed hold of one of the jeans she had hung on the hook to steady herself, causing a racket in the process.

The peculiar sounds, which Rey now realized were the sounds of kissing and muffled moaning stopped, and Rose called to her from outside. “R-Rey! Are you alright in there?”

“I...I’m fine,” Rey called back and straightened herself. “I’m coming out!”

Rey waited a moment, hoping to give Rose and Finn some time to compose themselves before she opened the curtain and stepped out, only to find Rose alone. And if it wasn’t for the fact that Rose’s face was flushed, she would’ve thought nothing had happened at all.

In the end, Rey decided she was going to pretend she didn’t see anything. “How do I look?”

“G-Great!” Rose stammered, eyeing her up and down, before frowning. “Uh, Rey, where’s your bra?”

“I don’t have one,” Rey said, which made Rose’s eyes grow wide. “I don’t need them yet. My breasts are still too small.”

“What do you mean you don’t need them?” Rose asked incredulously and gestured at her chest. “I can see your nipples through that shirt. You can poke an eye out with those things. Now come on. It’s lingerie next.”

Rey picked out a few of the clothes she liked and had Rose approve them before she went to the cashier. After getting her purchases, she followed Rose to an escalator, though she needed a bit of help getting on and not just because she was carrying a lot of shopping bags.

“I can’t believe you don’t even have a training bra,” Rose muttered as they went from one rack of bras to the next before Rose picked out a few smaller bras and held it up against Rey’s chest. “Here. I think these should fit you. Why don’t you try them on in the dressing room?”

Rey took the bras but hesitated as she thought back to what had happened earlier. “And where will you be while I’m in there?”

“I’ll just be outside with the bags.” Rose grabbed the bags from Rey and pointed to the nearby dressing room with her head. “Go.”

Rey looked at Rose suspiciously, but the girl only smiled. Letting out a breath, Rey entered one of the stalls and once more began the process of stripping, this time to the waist. She was about to take one of the bras when she caught sight of herself in the mirror.

Her eyes moved down to the mounds on her chest. Was it her, or had her breasts actually grown bigger? She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she was still relatively flat compared to Rose, but there’s an undeniable shape to her breasts now...

An image of Ben’s hand cupping her breast flashed before her eyes and she shook her head vigorously. Why was she thinking of these things? It must be because of what she had witnessed earlier between Rose and Finn. Brought back memories and feelings she thought she had forgotten.

Blushing furiously, she began fitting one bra after the next, struggling with clasps and straps until she finally narrowed the selection down to some choice items. She quickly dressed up again and stepped out of the stall, but Rose was nowhere to be found.

“Rose?” Rey craned her neck to see through the racks and the heads of other customers but her height left a lot to be desired, and Rose wasn’t a tall girl herself. “Rose, where are you?”

Rey returned some of the bras to their respective racks and hung her choices over her arm as she walked through the department store calling for her friend. She grew a little incensed that Rose may have run off somewhere with Finn again, and she began calling louder for the girl. “Rose, where are—”

She bumped into someone hard, the bras she was carrying falling to the floor. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I—”

She froze. The person—the tall, old man she had bumped into was staring at her. But it wasn’t that which caused her to become still as a statue. It was the fact that she recognized those eyes—those striking blue eyes that seemed to bore into her soul, and that misshapen, jagged scar that cut through his face.

Rey couldn’t look away this time; could barely even breathe as the man knelt down, took the bras that she had dropped on the floor by their hangers and handed the items back to her.

She gingerly took back the bras, held them to her chest and muttered ‘thanks’. She was about to turn away when the man said, “I remember you. You’re from Raddus Hall, aren’t you?”

The old man’s voice was gruff, but Rey sensed he was trying to be gentle, and so she relaxed. Aside from the frightening scar, he didn’t look like he was a murderer or anything. In fact, he was smartly dressed in a business suit underneath a trench coat, a fedora on his bald head.

“Yes, I’m from Raddus Hall,” Rey admitted. “And I think I saw you there. From the headmistress’s office.”

“Yes, I had business with Amilyn Holdo.” The old man’s smile was crooked, if not a little menacing, though it relieved Rey to learn they had a common acquaintance. “And what is your name, young lady?”

“Reynabelle,” Rey answered, and the man’s eyes seemed to twinkle.

“Beautiful name. How did you come by it?”

“I was named after my mother. Her name was Annabelle.”

This time, a shadow clouded over the man’s eyes, even as his smile grew wider. He reached out his gloved hand to shake. “Hello, Reynabelle. My name is—”

“Get away from her, you creep!”

Startled, Rey turned to the direction of the voice and saw Poe Dameron taking long strides towards them before moving in front of Rey to shield her from the man, who had stood up to his great height. “Just who do you think you are, mister? I should call security on you!”

“Poe...” Rey tugged at the sleeve of Poe’s jacket but he wouldn’t look at her.

“I’m sorry,” the old man stated, his voice flat. “There seems to be a misunderstanding—”

“You can understand the end of my fists if you don’t leave now,” Poe growled. Rey looked around and saw that they were attracting the attention of other customers. The old man must have seen it too, because he simply turned around and left, but not before tipping his hat to Rey.

It wasn’t until the old man disappeared through an exit that Poe turned around to face her. “What the hell where you thinking, Rey? You don’t go around talking to strangers like that!”

“B-But...he knows the headmistress,” Rey protested shakily, scared by Poe’s outburst. “And I’ve seen him before in school and—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Poe said with a shake of the head. “There are a lot of creeps in this city. You ought to be more careful. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn’t showed up.” Poe grew quiet for a moment before adding softly, “I don’t think I would be able to live with myself if something happened to you.”

Rey looked up in surprise at Poe’s warm brown eyes. There it was again. His sincerity with words, and she could feel the blood pounding in her ears. “Poe, I...”

“There you are!” Rose called, and Rey turned to see her running towards them with the shopping bags, Finn following close behind. “I went back to the dressing room and you weren’t there. Oh, hi Poe.”

“Where were you two?” Poe’s voice was stern, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at Rose and Finn. “Rey almost got taken by an old creep. Were you two too busy sucking face somewhere to notice your friend being approached by some weirdo?”

Rey saw Rose and Finn’s faces turn bright red. “Rose and I were just—”

Poe held up a hand. “You know what? I don’t even want to know. Now come on. We got to head back or else we’ll miss the curfew.”

Rey nodded, and after paying for her last purchase, silently followed her friends back to Poe’s car.

She didn’t know it, but somewhere nearby was the same old man from earlier, watching her closely from behind the tinted windows of a black Porsche.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added just a little spice and a little reminder for you guys that something did happen between Ben and Rey that will reshape their relationship forever. And the things Rey witnessed in this chapter would definitely have an effect on her psyche.
> 
> Three guesses who the creepy old man is :)
> 
> As always guys, thank you for reading. The next chapter is being written from the outline, though no promises on when that update might be. I still have to outline the chapter after that. Hopefully the plot bunnies will start gnawing at me again and I deliver to you guys soon.
> 
> Until next time!


	12. BASES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey learns a few more things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a direct continuation of what happened in the previous chapter. Not much going on here except Rey does learn a few more things. Hope you enjoy!

Rey, Rose, Finn and Poe made their way to the dormitories, each carrying a shopping bag or two. There was very little chatter between them, as Poe still seemed more than a little annoyed. In fact, the drive back to Raddus Hall had been quite subdued, and Rey was eager to get back to her room, if only to break the awkward atmosphere surrounding them.

“This is my room,” Rey declared when they reached her door and began taking the shopping bags off the boys’ hands. “I’m not allowed boys in my room so I’m afraid this is goodbye for now. Thank you Finn. And thank you, Poe, for the ride...and for earlier.”

Poe winked at her, and she felt a pleasant shiver roll down her spine. “Anytime, Rey.”

“I’ll stay with Rey for a little while,” Rose volunteered, her arms full of shopping bags. “Got to help her sort these. Go ahead, Finn. I’ll catch up with you in the cafeteria.”

After one last goodbye, the boys headed back down the halls, leaving Rey and Rose alone with the purchases. Rey unlocked the door and headed directly for the bed, where she gently placed the shopping bags on the mattress and Rose followed suit, but not before vocally admiring Rey’s room.

“You’re so lucky to have your own room, Rey.” Rose moved around the room in circles. “And with your own bathroom too. I share my room with another freshman girl and we only use the communal showers. I would’ve liked to room with Paige, but we’re not allowed to share a room with older students even if we’re related.”

“My stepfather wants to minimize my exposure to other people,” Rey explained as she began sorting out her new clothes. “I’m quite sickly, you see. That’s why I was homeschooled up until recently.”

“Really? I didn’t know that.” Rose was quiet for a moment. “Maybe getting you outside wasn’t such a good idea then.”

“No, it’s fine. My doctors have given me the all clear to go to school.” Rey gave Rose a reassuring smile. “A little trip to the city shouldn’t be a bother.”

“You tell me though if you feel off, okay?” Rose said, folding the new clothes alongside Rey. “We can get you to the clinic to have you checked.”

“I’m fine, Rose I…” Rey paused and held up an article of clothing she didn’t remember picking out. “What’s this?”

Rose’s smile was positively devious. “You like it? It’s called a chemise. It’s an adult sleepwear. And don’t worry, it’s on me. I purchased it before I went looking for you.”

“Isn’t it a bit too…” Rey struggled to find the word as she held the red silk garment against her body, “...scandalous?”

“Rey, if I wanted to get you something scandalous, I would have gotten you a negligee,” Rose chuckled. “Besides, it’s just for when you sleep. Not like anyone’s going to see you in it.”

“My stepfather might,” Rey said, and when she saw Rose’s eyes widen, she added, “He comes in to check up on me whenever I’m sick.”

“Then don’t wear it when you’re sick,” Rose advised, folding the last of the clothes and putting them in Rey’s dresser. “Wear it for when you want to feel sexy. When you want to feel more adult.”

Rey still wasn’t so sure about the chemise, but she was going to have to trust Rose on this. The girl knew more than she did after all. “Okay, Rose. Thank you.”

“No problem.” Rose stepped away from the dresser, put her fists on her hips and looked around the room once more. “You’re room is really something, Rey. It almost feels like I stepped inside a dollhouse.”

That perked Rey up. “Speaking of which, I want to show you something.” She led Rose to a corner of the room where her dollhouse was and knelt down to open it. “This is a replica of Alderaan Manor. It’s the house where I grew up in.”

“A house with a name? Sweet!” Rose exclaimed, kneeling down beside Rey.

“My stepfather had this made for me so I wouldn’t miss home so much. And look.” Rey took two dolls from the house and held them up to Rose. “The dolls even resemble everyone in the house.”

“Is that supposed to be you?” Rose pointed at one of the dolls in Rey’s hands. “Looks just like you. And I’m assuming that other doll is your stepfather?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a good likeness. Good looking too, just like him.”

“He...he is.” Rey stared at the Ben doll in her hands, realizing just how eerily similar it was to how he looked in real life, even down to the little moles on his face. Shaking away thoughts of Ben, she looked up at Rose once more and offered, “Would you like to play?”

“Why not?” Rose smiled and took the Maz Kanata doll from the kitchen. “I haven’t played with one of these in ages.”

Rey and Rose spent the next half hour playing with the dollhouse, drumming up amusing scenarios between characters and rearranging furniture, all the while talking about almost anything, though Rose did most of the talking. Rey didn’t mind. She liked listening to other people talk. It made her feel less alone.

Then Rose began talking about Finn in earnest, how she had a crush on him ever since his family moved next door, so when he asked her out, she had immediately said yes.

“We’ve only been dating a couple of months. And no, we haven’t had sex yet,” Rose said as a reminder to one of the questions Rey had put forth when they first had lunch together. “We’re still too young to go all the way, but we’ve gone through first and second base.”

Rey didn’t know what Rose meant at all, but she didn’t want to appear stupid either. “You mean...you played baseball right?”

“Baseball?!” Rose declared before laughing herself almost to tears. “Oh man, you are so innocent.”

“Well, I’m sorry if I’m so innocent,” Rey huffed.

“I’m sorry Rey, I really didn’t mean to laugh at you.” Rose wiped a tear away before getting a hold of herself. “First base means kissing. Second base means copping a feel here.” She pointed at her breast.

“You mean like in the dressing room?” Rey blurted out, and watched as Rose fell into stunned silence. She hadn’t meant to say that aloud, but since she already did, she might as well admit to what she saw, she thought. “I...saw you and Finn in the dressing room.”

“Please don’t tell my sister,” Rose begged. “She’ll tell my parents and they would have my skin. And then I won’t get to see Finn again.”

Rey stared at Rose’s pleading eyes for a moment before letting out a sigh. “I won’t. I promise I won’t.”

“Oh, thank you, Rey. Thank you.”

Rey smiled. She had every intention of dropping the subject but her curiosity nagged at her. “So...does it feel good when Finn touches your breasts?”

Rose nodded. “Yeah, it does. But that’s about how far I would go for now. And who calls them breasts nowadays? They’re called boobs.” She contemplated for a bit, then said, “Let me guess. You’ve never even had your first kiss, huh?”

“No,” Rey admitted. “I want my first kiss to be at my wedding. Like the princesses in fairy tales”

Rose smiled but didn’t laugh this time. “That’s nice, Rey. But you know, life isn’t a fairy tale. You gotta have a bit more experience under your belt if you’re going to survive out here.”

Rey felt herself grow a little defensive. “I have experience. I’ve had my brea...er...boobs touched before.”

“Yeah?” Rose was obviously incredulous. “By whom?”

“My s...boyfriend.”

Rose raised an eyebrow and Rey did her best to keep her face impassive. She wasn’t sure why she lied. All she knew was that she suddenly felt the need to protect Ben. He had been so ashamed of touching her to the point of practically begging her to forget about it. But she couldn’t. Not when there were so many reminders of that night, even though they had never discussed what had happened between them.

“Your boyfriend?” Rose repeated, crossing her arms over her chest. “I thought you didn’t have one.”

“Yes, I do,” Rey insisted. “We...went to second base. It felt good.”

“But you never kissed?”

“No.”

Rose let out a breath. “Rey, you’re supposed to kiss first before you get to second base. If he doesn’t kiss you, I suggest you just dump his ass. All he probably wants from you is to get in your pants.”

“Get in my...pants?” Rey echoed, not sure she understood.

“You know.” Rose gestured with her hands. When Rey still didn’t understand, she said, “Sex. He wants sex.”

Rey stilled. Everything she had known about sex up until then, from the book she had read, to what she had been told and what she had heard all came to a clash. So touching like that led to sex? Did that mean that...Ben...wanted to...

Rey cleared her throat and tried to phrase her question as carefully as she could without revealing her innermost thoughts. “You’re saying...Finn...also wants sex with you?”

“Of course he does,” Rose said as if it were the surest thing in the world. “He’s a boy. All boys want to have sex. But us girls, we hold the power. We can say yes, but we can always say no. Then again some boys won’t take no for an answer, at which point you can kick him between his legs. Pow, right in the balls!”

Rose had said this with such enthusiasm, even punching the air with a fist but Rey didn’t respond. She was suddenly more confused than ever, and if Rose hadn’t continued to prod her with a question, she probably would’ve continued to stare at the Ben and Rey dolls still in her trembling hands.

 “So what’s he like? This boyfriend of yours?”

“Boyfriend?” Rey faltered for a moment. “Oh…he’s…tall.”

“Uh-huh,” Rose nodded, eyes fixed on Rey’s face. “What else?”

Rey continued to describe her fictional boyfriend: long dark hair...intense brown eyes...full lips...well-built physique...

Rose’s gaze flickered to the dolls in Rey’s hands before remarking, “Sounds to me like you’re describing your stepfather.”

“I...I am?” Rey was startled. She had not really thought things through when she started describing.

“Rey, be honest with me.” Rose put a gentle hand on hers, and Rey felt a sense of dread. “There really isn’t any boyfriend and there was no second base was there?”

She blinked at Rose.

“Rey, it’s okay,” Rose continued when Rey didn’t speak. “It’s okay not to have experience and not to know these things. I’m sorry for laughing earlier. I’m not going to do that again.”

Rey pressed her lips together. It was in that moment that she decided to continue with a lie. It was far less complicated than the truth. “You’re right. I’ve never had a boyfriend. And I’ve never been kissed or touched.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that.” Rose’s smile turned into a smirk. “I’m sure Poe wouldn’t mind.”

Rey tilted her head. “Poe?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Poe is in to you, Rey.” Rose rolled her eyes. “He likes you. Like, really likes you.”

“Is that a good thing?” Rey asked unsurely.

“Are you kidding? Poe’s one of the most popular guys in school,” Rose exclaimed. “You snag him for a boyfriend and you’re set for life. Although, according to Paige, he’s pretty infamous for a string of broken hearts, including Kaydel’s. She can get very jealous. I’d still be careful, but he seems to genuinely care about you.”

Rey grew quiet once more. It was already confusing to be confronted with the fact that Ben could possibly...want her that way, but now to include Poe liking her? It was all too much information for her to process all at once.

Knocks reverberated from the door, and Rey breathed out a sigh of relief. The interruption couldn’t have come at a better time.

“That would be my dinner.” Rey rose to her feet, as did Rose. “You’ve been great company, Rose, but I think Finn’s already waited long enough for you.”

“Okay.” Rose leaned over to give Rey a tight hug, which she returned. “I’ll see myself out. Thanks for having me!”

And with that, Rose exited the room, leaving Rey to ponder on everything the girl had said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those already expecting to see Ben's reaction to Rey's clothes, sorry to disappoint you, but I promise that that's coming. I'm still outlining that chapter though so it may take a while before I post it. It used to be that I'm two or three chapters ahead but so many things have happened in my personal life that I haven't had time to sit down and write ahead of time, so as mentioned, the next update might take a while. But I still hope you guys will continue to be along with me for the ride. 
> 
> As for my dad, well, he had his angiogram yesterday. Unfortunately it seems I spoke too soon. It looks like he has severe blockage and will require 7-8 stents (angioplasty), or a bypass surgery, the former being the costlier one, the latter being the riskier one. I spoke with my siblings and we decided to go for the costlier option because we honestly didn't want to regret anything and my dad doesn't think he can take the long recovery period of a bypass surgery. His angioplasty is scheduled this afternoon. Hope it all turns out well. Thank you everyone as well for the support and the well-wishes. It's very much appreciated.
> 
> In the meantime, feel free to sound off your thoughts, comments, predictions and whatnot in the comments section. I really do love interacting with you guys and I look forward to every comment you have for the fic. Thanks again for reading and hope to see you again soon in the next update!


	13. RELEASE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey relives a certain memory when a phone call comes in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't have to go to the hospital today to run the release papers for my dad because he won't be discharged until tomorrow, so I spent the entire day crafting this chapter instead. I know I promised that we'd get to see Ben's reaction to Rey's new look in this chapter, but something came up in that I decided it would be best to take another route. I do hope though that the content of this chapter more than makes up for the change ;)
> 
> I think this is a good time as any to remind you guys to read the tags especially in regards to Ben and Rey's age difference. But you've come this far. We're in chapter 13 now. We're all due for something. And I'm taking you all to hell with me. 
> 
> The title should give away something.
> 
> (\\____/)  
> ( ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡°)  
> \╭☞ \╭☞

Time passed by seemingly in the blink of an eye, and now, it was Thursday night—the night before she was to return to Alderaan Manor, and Rey couldn’t be more excited. Her new clothes were packed and ready, and she had certainly made a splash with her friends earlier when she debuted her new t-shirt and jeans. Poe seemed particularly pleased with the results, praising how she looked to the point of making her feel embarrassed. The only person who hadn’t seemed pleased was Kaydel, who continued to brood in the sidelines while Poe and the others showered Rey with compliments.

The clock ticked past the hour of nine, but Rey was yet to feel sleepy. So excited was she to go home that she spent most of her after dinner hours kneeling before her dollhouse and playing with its inhabitants. She thought of how much she missed home, even how much she missed Ben. He hadn’t texted her since their spat yesterday, and she didn’t know how to make amends even if she wanted to. Oh, she’d tried to compose a text message or two, but nothing felt right and so she had ended up deleting the messages before she could send them.

Rey sighed and took the Ben and Rey dolls from their respective rooms, staring at them in wonderment. The artisan who made the dollhouse as well as the dolls themselves must’ve been very skilled to bring out such likeness and articulation in the dolls, she thought. They were so lifelike to the point of being eerie, but she grew to appreciate the effort Ben took just to ensure she didn’t feel too homesick.

Ben...he always did look out for her in his own way...

Lost in her memories, Rey quietly positioned the dolls in such a way that the Ben doll was sitting on Rey doll’s bed, Ben doll’s hands touching Rey doll’s chest.

Rey bit her lip, her heart pounding as she watched the doll scene before her; only, it wasn’t just any scene. It had actually happened—an event she now realized had altered her in ways she was yet to comprehend. She and Ben had never talked about it. If Ben were to have his say, he would rather forget about it. But she couldn’t. Not when there were too many reminders of what had happened that night.

Breathing heavily, she rose from the floor and hurried to lock the door before moving towards her dresser mirror. She was still in one of her long cotton nightgowns—the kind Rose called ‘granny nightgowns’—because she was yet to muster the courage to wear the chemise. But it didn’t matter because soon, she was discarding the nightgown and letting it fall to the floor, leaving her naked in front of the mirror save for a pair of flower-patterned panties.

Once again, she remembered the way Ben had touched her that night. They were at odds now, but for some reason, she couldn’t stop reliving how she had felt when he brought his palms to her breasts, how good it had felt to have his fingertips caress her nipples, and soon she was doing the same, touching herself in much the same way she had in front of her mirror at home before Ben had unexpectedly barged in.

Only this time, there would be no one to barge in. She was perfectly alone in her dormitory room. She was free to do whatever she wanted.

Rey moaned as particularly delicious feelings rolled down her spine and down to her center, making her squeeze her thighs together. She could feel heat and wetness pool between her legs, and not for the first time, she wondered what it could be. She hadn’t had the chance to check back when it had first happened. She would now.

Removing a hand from her breast, she dipped her fingers into her underwear, gathered some of the wetness before lifting her hand in front of her face, only to find her digits coated in something clear and slimy. It didn’t appear as though she had peed herself. It certainly smelled different—heady, a bit musky.

A tiny bit of panic sank in through the haze of her pleasure. Was this a precursor to a period? Was she sick? Or was this something else entirely?

Her phone rang before she could think further, and she quickly wiped her wet hand with her discarded nightgown before hurrying to the bed where her phone was.

She felt her heart lurch to her throat when she saw who was calling.

_Ben._

She lay down on the bed, and after the third ring, answered the call. “Hello, Ben?”

“Rey...” came Ben’s baritone, a little unsteady, a little unsure. “You haven’t texted me since yesterday. Are you still mad at me?”

“I...no,” Rey answered truthfully, and in that moment, decided to make the first move towards making amends. “I’m sorry Ben. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. It was very disrespectful. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Ben insisted, his voice slurring to the point that Rey took notice. “You’re right. You’re not a little girl anymore and I shouldn’t be treating you like you are. I just...hic...don’t want you to grow up too fast.”

“Ben...have you been drinking?” Rey ventured.

“Just a bit.”

Ah, Rey thought. That explained why he had gained the courage to call, and it disappointed her somewhat that he couldn’t speak to her sober. “It sounds like you drank more than just a bit. You shouldn’t drink too much Ben. It’s bad for you.”

“Well, look at you, looking out for your old man now,” Ben chuckled. Rey could hear the tinkling of ice against glass and the loud gulping down of liquid from the other end of the line. “Seems you’ve really grown up.”

“You’re not that old,” Rey said gently.

“Compared to you, I am.” Ben took another loud gulp and followed it with a belch. “How are you doing, Rey? Any...hic...health issues I should know about?”

Rey chewed on her lower lip as her eyes darted towards her panties. She could still feel it there, the slippery wetness, and she wasn’t sure what compelled her to come clean, but she did. “There is something. There’s...some sort of slimy and clear fluid coming out of my...from between my legs. Am I sick or is this part of my period?”

“Wait. You’re saying you’re wet?”

“Yes. Yes, I am wet.”

Ben was quiet for a long moment before he groaned.

 “Ben?” Rey asked worriedly.

“Be honest with me Rey.” There was something in Ben’s tone of voice; no longer slurred, but almost commanding that made the hair on Rey’s arm stand on end. “Have you been touching yourself?”

She didn’t answer. Not immediately, before she finally admitted, “Yes.”

“Where?” Ben pursued, his baritone seeming to grow deeper still.

“My...my breasts,” Rey stammered, her voice tiny, cowering almost from the power in Ben’s voice.

“Uh-huh,” Ben mumbled, and she could almost see him nod. “And did you touch yourself down there?”

“I did but only to check why I was so wet.”

There was silence before Ben gulped, seemingly from another glass of liquor. “Does it tingle down there?”

“Yes.”

Another moment of silence. Another loud gulp before Ben spoke again. “I’m going to help you through this Rey, and you’re going to do exactly as I say. Put me on speaker.”

It wasn’t a request. It was an order, and one Rey instinctively followed. Once on speaker, she put her phone beside her on the pillow. She could hear Ben groaning and grunting, as though he was doing something that took effort.

“Ben?”

“Are you lying down in bed?”

“Yes.”

“What are you wearing?”

“Just my panties.”

Another groan from Ben. “Take them off.”

“I’m sorry?” Rey wasn’t sure she heard him right.

“I said, take your panties off,” Ben repeated, more firmly this time. “You want me to help you don’t you?”

“Y-Yes, Ben,” Rey stammered, though she still wasn’t sure what he was trying to help her with. But for some reason, all this made her tingle and squirm even more. “I took them off. Now what?”

“Spread your legs.”

Another command. With a moment’s hesitation, Rey spread her legs, the cool air hitting the warmth of her center, and she was unable to stop a moan from escaping her lips.

“That’s it.” Ben seemed to have grown breathless, little gasps echoing from the speaker of the phone. “Now put a finger down there between the slit and see if you can find a fleshy nub.”

Rey did as she was told, sliding a hand down her body and to the apex of her thighs, searching for whatever it was that Ben wanted her to find. “I’m not sure I can find...oh. Oh!”

“Found it huh?” Ben cooed from the phone. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Y-Yes. Yes it does,” Rey stuttered, her eyes widening with amazement at the feeling elicited from touching the bead of flesh hidden between her slippery folds. She had never known such a thing existed; that such pleasure could be felt, and it sent her body keening for more.

“That’s your clit. It’s supposed to feel good when you touch it,” Ben explained breathily. “Try rolling your finger around it and find a spot that feels best.”

Rey obeyed, and quickly found a spot that sent even more electrifying signals throughout her body. “Oh. Oh!”

“Yes, that’s it, baby girl,” Ben encouraged, still breathless, still grunting with effort. “Rub yourself for me.”

She should be mad at him for calling her baby girl. But she wasn’t. If anything, it heightened whatever it was she was feeling, even more so when she heard him moan along with her through the speakers. She couldn’t imagine what he was doing, but at the same time she was too lost in her own pleasure to care.

“Ben...I’m getting...wetter...”

“That’s normal, baby girl. Your body’s just releasing pleasure juices because you feel so good.”

Pleasure? Was this wetness from feeling all these overwhelmingly pleasurable sensations throughout her body? She didn’t have the time or even the mental fortitude to ponder on it. She was soaring to heights she had never been to as she continued to rub her clit with abandon, seeking something, needing something.

And then it dawned on her. _Ben._ She _needed_ Ben. Needed his strong arms around her, needed the warmth of his flesh against her own, needed him to fill the emptiness she didn’t know she had.

“Ben...oh, Ben...”

“Yes, baby girl, yes, fuck yes, you’re doing awesome sweetheart.”

The endearments, the cursing, the praise, the grunting...it was all going to her head, making her lightheaded. She was close. Close to something she couldn’t describe, and she began moaning louder as she rubbed her clit in earnest.

“Oh God, Rey, you sound fucking amazing,” Ben spoke in between breaths and gasps. “Don’t stop, baby girl, don’t ever stop.”

She didn’t. She couldn’t even if she wanted to. She was no longer in control of her own body, the desire overwhelming her senses that all she could do was seek out that something...that thing that would bring this all to an end, and all of a sudden, she could feel tremors start to run through her.

“Something...” she breathed out, barely able to form the words, “...something’s happening...”

“Just let it happen,” Ben crooned, and in a deep, raspy voice, said, “Cum, baby girl. Cum for me. Cum for Daddy.”

She didn’t understand what he meant by cum, but the urgency in his voice, the moans of pleasure coming from his end, and the fact that he had called himself ‘Daddy’ all led to an avalanche of feeling that engulfed her entire form, sending electricity running up and down her spine until it all exploded within her, sending her screaming into the night, back arching, toes curling, the fingers of her free hand curling around the sheets.

It took a moment for her to come down from her high, and when the last waves of euphoria ebbed away, Rey fell back on her pillows, chest heaving with heavy breaths, sweat beading on her forehead as she stared at the ceiling, unable to comprehend what had just happened. It was exhilarating. It was exciting. It was...out of this world.

“Wow...” she breathed. “That was...amazing, Ben.”

She waited for a response, a reply, anything, but got nothing. She turned to look at her phone and found that the call had already ended.

Quickly, she grabbed the phone and dialed Ben’s number.

The call went straight to voicemail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did I tell you? (^_-) Anyway, like I said, this wasn't the original plan. The plan was for Ben and Rey to see each other again with Rey wearing her new clothes but as I began writing it, they became too antagonistic with each other that I simply couldn't find a way to realistically make them friends again. That Ben drunk-called Rey and ended up having drunken phone sex (ish) with her is a surefire way to throw a monkey wrench into the mix. No worries though, as I now have even bigger plans for when they meet again the next day.
> 
> So what happened to Ben? Did he drain his battery or something? Or was it all a dream? How will they react to each other once they meet again? All that will be answered in the next chapter, which will hopefully come soon (no pun intended). Gotta run some paperwork tomorrow so my dad will be released from the hospital but I will try to update as soon as I can.
> 
> Thanks again dear readers for all the kudos, comments, subscriptions, bookmarks and especially your well-wishes. It's greatly appreciated. Hope to see more of you in the next chapters!
> 
> By the way, if you want to know my thought processes, sometimes I post about it in my tumblr so you may want to check it out.


	14. AFTERMATH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes home for the weekend. How will Ben react when he sees her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait guys! I know you're probably used to almost daily updates, but if you've checked my tumblr, you'll know that I struggled hard with this chapter. That and the fact that I had to accommodate my parents before they left for home (my dad's doing great post operation), I wasn't able to write as much until today, when I finally figured out which route to take for the story. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
> 
> And this is a spoiler, but I guess I should mention. WARNING FOR SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER. Read the tags. You have been warned by what direction this fic is going to take.

“Something’s...different about you today.”

Rey looked at Rose in surprise as they walked towards the parking lot with their luggage. School was already out for the week and it was time to go home for the weekend.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Rey said, a little too quickly.

Rose eyed her suspiciously. “For one thing, you seem a lot happier today. For another, you’ve been texting a lot. Does that mean you patched things up with your stepfather?”

Rey shrugged and smiled. “You can say that.”

“So what happened?” Rose pressed on, poking Rey’s arm. “Come on, give me the details!”

Rey thought about it. She had been contemplating on asking Rose, but she couldn’t figure out how to without revealing too much. Whatever happened between her and Ben over the phone last night...that seemed far too intimate to share with anyone, even with Rose. “There’s really nothing to tell. He called last night to apologize. That’s it.”

“Well that’s good, I guess.” Rose nodded, then looked at her from head to toe. “You dressed up for your stepfather, huh? He’s going to have a heart attack when he sees you in that little skirt. For that matter, so would Poe if he saw you.”

Rey only smiled. Poe was so far from her thoughts that she barely even noticed that he wasn’t with them for lunch. Her thoughts were filled only with Ben, and his deep voice as he told her how to touch herself, encouraged and guided her into the most wonderful feeling she had ever known.

She squeezed her thighs together. She was getting wet just thinking about it...just thinking about the possibilities especially now that she was going home to him.

“Girls!”

“Speak of the devil,” Rose muttered as she and Rey turned to the direction of the voice and found Poe running towards them. “Poe. Where have you been all day?”

“Kaydel and Paige were sulking because I don’t spend as much time with them anymore,” Poe explained haltingly as he tried to catch his breath. He then turned to Rey, eyed her up and down and whistled. “Wow, Rey...you look stunning.”

“Thanks,” Rey said shyly. Her friends had been peppering her with compliments ever since she changed her wardrobe and she still wasn’t sure how to accept them especially from Poe.

“What are you doing here, Poe?” Rose asked. “I would’ve thought you’d gone home by now.”

“I just needed to talk to Rey for a moment,” Poe said, and turned to Rey again, flashing her a winning smile. “So Rey...I was wondering if you were free this weekend? I know you haven’t gone out much, and I’d love to take you around some of my favorite spots. It’ll be fun!”

“I...uhm...” Rey’s eyes darted behind Poe, where she could see Rose nodding vigorously. “I...sorry, Poe. But I’d like to spend time with my stepfather. I haven’t seen him all week. Maybe next time.”

Poe seemed flabbergasted, as though he had never experienced being turned down before, but in the end he took it rather well, Rey thought. “Oh, okay. You have my number. Text me when you’re available, alright?”

“Sure,” Rey promised, and with that, Poe said his goodbye to the girls, gave one last wink to Rey before scampering away and disappearing back into school grounds.

Once he was gone, Rose jabbed Rey in the arm. “I can’t believe you turned down a date with Poe freaking Dameron!”

“A date?” Rey blinked. “I thought it was just an invitation to drive somewhere?”

“Rey, he was asking you out.” Rose was practically pulling hair off her head. “You wasted a golden opportunity! Is spending time with your stepfather really that important when you have Poe Dameron asking you for a weekend date?”

Rey thought about it for a moment, or rather pretended to think about it. The answer was clear to her in a way that it would never be to Rose.

“Yes,” she said with a smile while discreetly squeezing her thighs together again, “My stepfather’s more important than Poe Dameron.”

* * *

Ben looked out of the large window of his study, his eyes trained on the wrought iron gates of Alderaan Manor, waiting for the Mercedes Benz to come through. It was Friday afternoon—a day he had been anticipating all week but now dreaded because of what occurred not even 24 hours ago.

His phone vibrated, and he took it out of his pocket to stare at the next message that had just come in. He had set his calls to go straight to voicemail, calling back and responding only to the important ones.

He did not answer any of the calls or texts from Rey. She had sent him a total of three voicemails and a few text messages, which included:

 

> **Rey**  
>  _Last night was great :) Call me._
> 
> **Rey**  
>  _Can’t stop thinking about you. Call me :)_
> 
> **Rey**  
>  _Rose said I’m pretty happy today. I didn’t tell her, but I have every reason to be. Call me :)_
> 
> **Rey**  
>  _I’m guessing you’re busy at work. I’ll just see you when I get home. Can’t wait!_
> 
> **Rey**  
>  _Artoo’s here. I’m coming home :)_
> 
> **Rey**  
>  _We’re close. Can’t wait to see you!_

That last message was sent not even a minute ago. Ben put his phone back in his pocket, turned away from the window and sat heavily on his office chair, side eying the half empty decanter of bourbon still on his desk.

He lowered his head and buried his face in his palms. He had made a mistake. A huge one. He had only drunk in order to muster the courage to call and apologize, to smooth things out between him and Rey. But what had happened was something else entirely.

He shut his eyes tight. The details were still hazy to him, obscured by the fog of his then inebriated brain, but he’d sobered up almost immediately after he had his release. He’d shut off his phone then, praying that it had all been a dream but the evidence was all there—his nakedness as he lay on his bed, the flaccid cock in his hand, the cum splattered across his stomach.

There was no denying it. He’d come on to Rey. Come on to her hard the moment she admitted to being wet—to being aroused; to touching herself. He’d become delirious with lust then; so blinded by his apparent desire for her that he had ordered her to strip and taught her how to please herself. And she had liked it. Oh God, she had liked it. Even with the haze of the bourbon and the now dulling headache it had caused, he could still remember her moans—her little erotic mewls, her breathless whispers and gasps as he stroked his cock to climax, all the while trying to imagine what her cute little pussy would look and feel like riding up and down his length, coating it with her juices.

He cursed. He was getting hard just thinking about it, and he quickly tried to steer his thoughts away but it was no use. Her screams when she had orgasmed was permanently etched in his brain, echoing throughout his entire being. He had half a mind to just hide away in his study or lock himself up in his room, but he couldn’t. He had promised her he would be waiting for her when she got home, and he was a man of his word. He had even rushed home from work to make sure he was there before she was. To hide now would be cowardice, just as him ending the call after they had both reached climax was cowardice. He had to face the consequences of his actions and he had to face them head on.

He heard rather than saw the Benz coming in through the gates. He stood up from his chair, combed back his long black hair with his fingers, straightened his gray shirt and walked out of the study in long strides, reaching the front door just as the car pulled up in front of the house.

He clasped his hands in front of him, hoping his erection from his earlier thoughts wasn’t too obvious from his trousers. In silence, he watched as Artoo exited the car and opened the passenger side door, fully expecting Rey to disembark, in all the laces and frills of whatever dress she decided to wear for the day.

Instead, what emerged from the car was a girl in a white cashmere sweater with a cowl neckline, a red pleated tartan skirt that showed far too much skin, shin-length white socks and red sneakers, her chestnut hair combed to one side and falling over her shoulder. It wasn’t until she looked up that Ben recognized her.

Rey.

His hands unconsciously unclasped and hung on his sides as he gaped at the girl, who no longer appeared to be the same little girl in a doll dress he had dropped off at Raddus Hall only days before. This girl...this girl was more woman than girl, though not quite an adult yet. There was still a semblance of youth to her, though something told Ben that more things had changed for her beyond her appearance.

He wasn’t sure what to make of the transformation. It was so sudden, so drastic as to render him speechless. He didn’t even notice Artoo passing by and entering the house, luggage in tow.

Rey stared back at him for a long moment before the widest of smiles radiated from her lips, and she suddenly ran towards him and jumped into his arms, her skinny legs locked around his waist, and he’d had to quickly hold her to keep her from falling.

“I’ve missed you, Ben,” she whispered into his neck, and he felt a pleasant tingle roll down his spine.

It felt good.

No, it felt _too_ good.

It felt too good to have her warm breath against his skin; felt too good to have her weight in his arms. Every part of him was screaming of the danger of being this close to her, but there was something so powerful there, so potent that he couldn’t bring himself to let go. Like drug to an addict, he couldn’t let go.

He closed his eyes and took in the scent of her, his lips brushing against the side of her neck. Rey started breathing heavily and clawing at his hair, seeming to press the exposed skin of her neck to his lips.

All rational thought lost, Ben parted his lips and planted a kiss on Rey’s throat, darting his tongue out to have his first taste of her skin. She tasted of salt and sweat. Sweetness and desire. And when she let out a muffled, breathy moan into his ear, it was all he could do to keep himself from tearing her clothes off and having his way with her on that porch.

“Reynabelle!”

Ben quickly set Rey down, practically dropping her back on the porch before he turned to face Maz Kanata, who was walking briskly towards them from the foyer. He clasped his hands in front of him once more, trying to hide the tent in his pants as a feeling of dread washed over him. Did Maz see him...nuzzling against Rey?

“Maz!” Rey ran towards the old servant and gave her a big hug, and by the way Maz smiled, it seemed she hadn’t seen anything after all.

Relief made Ben’s shoulders sag, and he watched as Rey talked to Maz, giggling as she told the old woman about her days in school. She was acting so cheerful, that for a second, Ben wondered if they had actually just shared an intimate moment by the front door. But when he saw the way Rey constantly darted her eyes towards him and smiled, he just knew it was real. It had happened.

He’d lost control again. He always seemed to lately whenever he was around her, but this time it was different. They’d crossed a line the night before and there seemed to be no way of going back.

But he had to. He had to go back to the way things were. For both their sakes. The question was, how?

He coughed to gain the attention of the ladies in the foyer. “Maz, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’d like to have a word with Rey. In private.”

“Yes, sir,” Maz seemed a little disappointed at the interruption, but Rey was just the opposite. She was positively brimming with excitement as she hurried back to Ben’s side and threaded her arm through his, rubbing her cheek against his sleeve like a kitten. Ben stiffened. She was being too obvious, and Maz was only too quick to point it out. “My, my, look at you two. Why, I’d never imagine I’d see you two so close.”

“A lot can happen in a week,” Rey explained, still smiling.

The dread from earlier returned full force. Fearing Rey might inadvertently reveal something, Ben decided to change the subject. “You look...different, Rey. What happened to your dresses?”

“They’re in the laundry bag. This is what I wear now.” Rey gestured to her clothes with one hand, the other still threaded through Ben’s arm. “Dresses are for little girls. I’m not a little girl anymore, am I, Ben?”

Ben stared back at her. He wasn’t sure whether she was challenging him or asking him for validation. Either way, he knew the answer to both. And he had no one to blame except himself.

“No, Rey,” he said, almost in a pained tone. “You’re not a little girl anymore.”

If Rey noticed the hurt in his voice, she didn’t let on. If anything, she just took what he said at face value and was all the more happy for it.

“Come,” she said, tugging at Ben’s arm. “Let’s go to my room. We can talk there.”

Ben allowed himself to be dragged upstairs and to the hallways leading to the bedrooms, his mind in complete turmoil. His sensible side was saying this would be the perfect time for him to talk to Rey in private, to apologize for his behavior the previous night and to make things right between them. The other side of him thought of this as an opportunity to be alone with her. Period. No disturbances. No interruptions. Just the two of them free to indulge themselves.

And one side was winning.

Rey pulled Ben into her room and closed the door. He heard her lock it, and it hit him right there and then how much privacy they had.

They could do whatever they wanted.

He turned to face Rey, only to find her bounding towards him and jumping into his arms again, giggling when he almost lost his balance. Holding her tight, he backed up until the back of his leg hit the side of the bed, and he sat down on the mattress, bringing Rey down with him, her legs still wrapped around his waist, her short skirt hiking up her hips.

“I’m so happy to see you again, Ben,” Rey said in a breathless whisper, her arms around his neck, her eyes practically sparkling. “Last night was just...amazing.”

“Rey...about last night...” The words died in Ben’s throat when Rey began planting open-mouthed kisses to his neck, mimicking what he had done to her earlier at the front door. He could feel her tongue against his skin, and he felt himself grow raging hard.

Whatever rational thought he had left flew out the window. On impulse, he dragged down her neckline to expose her shoulder to him, peppering it with kisses and licks, all the while wrapping his arms around her, holding her tiny body against his massive one. And when he felt her grind against his erection, he swore he saw stars.

“Ben...oh, Ben...”

“Rey...”

Ben put both hands on Rey’s ass and pulled her hard against the bulge in his crotch, thrusting upwards to garner some friction. Rey stopped kissing his neck and threw her head back to moan, and he moved his lips from her shoulder to her throat, all the while rocking against her.

God, this felt far better than he could ever imagine. He hadn’t been this intimate with anyone in years. Even his recent rendezvous with Phasma had only resulted in three dates before things could progress. But this? What he was doing with Rey? It was progressing at break neck speed, like fire doused with gasoline, and he was powerless to stop it.

He pulled back and watched Rey grind herself on his lap, watched as her mouth hung open with her moans, watched as her hazel eyes bore into his, glazed and a little unfocused. He was getting dizzy with want, and soon, he moved his hand from her ass to slip inside her cashmere sweater, his face contorting a little with irritation when he realized she was wearing a training bra. He slipped his hand beneath the bra’s band and palmed her bare breast, a little surprised to find that she had grown a little since he touched her last.

That seemed like such a long time ago...

Three knocks reverberated from the door, and Ben froze as did Rey.

“Mistress Reynabelle, dinner’s ready!” Maz called from outside the room.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Rey called back, still not getting off of Ben. “I’m...I’m just unpacking.”

“Alright.”

Ben strained to hear as Maz’s footsteps echoed down the hallway before finally fading away down the hall. Certain that she was gone, he let out a sigh of relief, the cloud from their unbridled passion at last giving way to a clearer head.

That was when he became fully aware of his surroundings—the fluffy bed they were sitting on with the frills and pink sheets, the dolls and stuffed toys on the shelves staring at him as if in accusation...this was not the room of a woman grown, but that of a child. Rey was still a child, and yet he had thrust her further into a world she was far too young to understand.

“Ben?” He felt her small hands frame his face, making him tear his eyes away from the room to look at her; Rey, with her now tousled hair, flushed face and disheveled clothes. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he said calmly, even as his mind was in the midst of a storm. Slowly, he extricated himself from her until they were sitting side by side on the bed. “You go to the dining room now. I’ll...I’ll follow later.”

“Okay...” Rey said, uncertainty clear in her voice. Still, she slid off the bed, straightened herself and planted a kiss on Ben’s cheek before walking out the door, leaving him to mull over everything that had transpired between them, his fingers touching the spot where Rey’s kiss still lingered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the whole phone sex shenanigans, Rey and Ben couldn't take their hands off each other (probably something not a lot of people expected huh?). But of course, Maz the cockblocker appears and reality has to set in for Ben, and this chapter ends with uncertainty. To be honest, even I am not yet sure what happens next, as again there are many ways this can go. But I'm outlining my options, see which one is best before I sit down to write, so again, might need a few days before I finish.
> 
> What do you guys think will happen next? Will there be more smut or will there be a full stop? Will we be onboard the smut train or the pain train? I have a few ideas but I wanna hear yours, as well as your thoughts on this chapter. Jump down to the comments section below and let me know. Always happy to interact with you guys.
> 
> Until the next chapter!


	15. RESTRAINED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to sleep when Ben enters her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! We just hit 15k views! If you guys have read my notes in previous chapters, you know that I usually post the next chapter once every 1000 views so here you go.
> 
> PLEASE MIND THE TAGS! The tags are there to give you fair warning about the content of this fic. In this particular chapter, we're all aboard the smut train with a tiny dash of pain. If this is not your cup of tea, then you can skip this chapter altogether and head on to the next one, which I am working on and will be posted soon.
> 
> Otherwise, I'm going down the road to hell and taking you with me.

Ben didn’t show up for dinner. Rey had waited and waited until her soup got cold before Threepio came in with the news that Ben was to eat in his study because of work.

Disappointed, she ate alone and without much enthusiasm, not even bothering with dessert, which was usually her favorite part of the meal. She barely finished her dinner when she decided to leave for the study, hoping to at least be around Ben while he worked. Surely, in light of what they had shared earlier, he wouldn’t mind her company, she thought.

She walked up the great steps of the manor and headed straight for his study, knocking twice before announcing herself. “Ben, it’s me. Can I come in?”

 No response. She tried to open the door and was surprised to find it locked. She had never known Ben to lock the study before.

 _“Perhaps he’s in his room,”_ Rey thought, and walked towards the hallway leading to their bedrooms. Once again, she knocked and announced herself, jiggling the door knob but she received no response. His bedroom door was locked too.

Miffed and more than a bit concerned, she headed for her bedroom and texted him, waiting for his reply while she put on the red chemise Rose had gotten her. Now was a good time as any to wear it. Perhaps she’ll have a chance to show it to Ben, she thought with a blush.

She lay on her bed and waited for a reply. When five minutes passed resulting in nothing, she decided to call, only to have it lead straight to voicemail.

Rey put her phone on the nightstand, now more than a little frustrated. It was a feeling not unlike the times when Ben had avoided her, though why he would do so now after they had shared so much was beyond her.

Her phone’s message notification dinged, and she immediately grabbed her phone, only to have her hopes dashed. It was only Poe, sending a selfie of himself eating some Cheetos.

She scrolled up to Poe’s previous text messages. He had only recently begun texting her, though his messages mostly contained either selfies or cat memes.

Having nothing else better to do, she decided to fire back a message.

> **_Rey_ ** _  
> Not in the mood for Cheetos tonight._

Poe was quick to reply.

> **_Poe Dameron  
>  _ ** _Oh? What are you in the mood for?_
> 
> **_Rey_ ** _  
> In the mood for company. My stepfather seems to have disappeared on me._
> 
> **_Poe Dameron  
>  _ ** _Does that mean you’ll take me up on my offer to drive you someplace? :)_

Rey chewed on her lip for a bit before sending a response.

> **_Rey_ ** _  
> Maybe._
> 
> **_Poe Dameron  
>  _ ** _Great! Text me your address and I’ll be there ASAP_
> 
> **_Rey_ ** _  
> I didn’t mean now. I’m already in my nightgown._
> 
> **_Poe Dameron  
>  _ ** _Oooh sexy ;)_

Rey rolled her eyes and put her phone on the nightstand again. She wasn’t going to bother replying to that. What was it with boys and what girls were wearing anyway?

With a sigh, Rey turned to her side and stared at nothing in particular, her mind wandering to everything that had happened earlier that day. She remembered being so excited at seeing Alderaan Manor again, especially when she saw Ben standing at the porch, waiting for her just as he had said he would. She had barely hesitated before jumping into his arms, and it had felt good to be held by him. Felt good to have his lips on her skin, even better to have him run his tongue against her neck. It had felt so good that when they had finally gotten a chance to be alone, she had jumped into his arms again, hoping to repeat the experience and ended up getting so much more.

She moaned when she recalled the way he had kissed her shoulder, how fiercely he had held her in his arms, and most of all, how hard he had felt rubbing against her panties. She knew what it was. From her anatomy book, it was called an erection. She knew its purpose, and it had scared her for a split second before the thrill of it overwhelmed her, and she even recalled ruing the fact that they were separated from each other by their clothes.

Rey’s breathing became uneven as she slowly lowered her hand between her legs, slipping it inside her cotton panties until she found the fleshy nub of her clit. Sex. She had wanted to have sex for the first time that day, when Ben rocked himself against her. Had wanted it so badly, that if Maz hadn’t interrupted them, she felt sure she would have surrendered herself to Ben.

She rolled her finger around her clit, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be full of his penis. Would it hurt? Would it feel good? It had to feel good, right? Sex felt good according to Maz, which was why her mother had lots of it...

Rey shook her head of thoughts of Annabelle, but it had gained a foothold and now she couldn’t rid herself of the image of her mother and Ben doing it. How could she even compete with someone as experienced as her? She’d never be able to satisfy Ben. Not with what pitifully little she knew.

Groaning in annoyance, Rey took her hand out of her panties and turned to stare at the ceiling. She was never going to reach that peak feeling of euphoria again. Not without Ben’s help. And he was nowhere to be found, which added further to her frustration. Where in the world was he? Was he hiding from her again? If so, why?

 Huffing, she reached over for the lamp on the nightstand and turned it off. If she couldn’t find release for her frustrations, she might as well sleep it off.

Sleep would be a hard-won prize that night, and it took another hour more for her eyes to start drooping.

Then, she heard knocking on her door.

“Rey? Can I come in?”

It was Ben. She was about to stand when she remembered how he’d left her to dine alone and had her searching the house for him. Well, two can play that game, she thought, as she lay on her side with her back towards the door, the covers held up to her chin. She wasn’t going to bother standing up to open the door for him. Not after what he had her go through.

Then, she heard him open the door and she cursed herself inwardly. She should have locked it, she thought, as she watched him cast a shadow on her wall, the shadow disappearing when he closed the door.

The room was dark once more, illuminated only by the full moonlight streaming in from the window. She heard Ben shuffle more than walk towards her bed, and she closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep.

The shuffling noises stopped, and she just knew he was standing on the side of her bed. For the longest time, all he seemed to do was stand there, until she felt the bed shift with his weight.

“Rey...” She felt his presence loom over from behind her, and she could smell the bourbon in his breath. “Rey, are you asleep?”

She didn’t answer. Didn’t move. Didn’t even flinch. Even if she wasn’t mad at him, she would still have continued to pretend to be asleep, if only to avoid talking to him while he was drunk.

Then, she felt him tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and she had to summon everything she had not to shiver.

“I’m sorry for staying away, baby girl,” he cooed in her ear. She felt the bed move again, felt his full weight beside her and she imagined he was lying down next to her. “I just couldn’t be around you anymore. I lose control when I’m around you and I’m afraid I might do something I’ll regret if I didn’t stay away.”

Regret? Rey thought. What was there to regret? They were two people starved for affection. Wasn’t it only natural that they gravitated towards each other?

“But I’m a weak man, Rey,” Ben continued, his voice steady though a little slurred as he ran his knuckles gently across Rey’s cheek. “I can’t stay away. I don’t want to. I want you too much to stay away.”

He wants her, Rey thought as her heart began to pound pleasantly in her chest. Still, she continued her pretense of sleeping, hoping he would say more.

Then, she heard a strange noise; as though Ben were choking back a sob, his palm moving from her neck to her shoulder, taking the edge of her blanket with it.

“I wish you were older,” he said brokenly. “Maybe then I don’t have to torture myself like this.”

She felt him slide the blanket further down her body before finally pulling the covers away. He might have finally seen what she was wearing, because he paused for a moment before his tone of voice changed from broken to amused.

“Baby girl, did you wear this for me?” he chuckled. “That’s awfully sweet of you. You look wonderful.” She felt him lean over and plant kisses on the side of her neck. “Taste wonderful too...”

Rey remained still as Ben dropped bourbon-laced kisses from her neck to her shoulders, all the while running a hand up and down her leg, hiking up her nightgown with it. She wasn’t sure how long she could keep up her charade of sleeping when he was sending electrical pulses throughout her body.

The bed shifted again as Ben moved, and now she felt his knees straddling her hips as he gently maneuvered her so now she was lying on her back, the straps of her red chemise coming down to her shoulders. He leaned over then, putting half his weight on her and began trailing wet kisses down the side of her neck, to her collarbone, to her throat.

“Baby girl...so smooth...so soft...”

She wondered why he wouldn’t just kiss her on the lips, and she had to bite back a moan when she felt his teeth scrape her skin. It hurt, but it was the kind of hurt she found irresistibly delicious, making heat pool in the middle of her legs.

Her phone’s message notification suddenly dinged. She continued to shut her eyes, hoping Ben wouldn’t bother with it but he stopped his ministrations, and she heard him grab the offending device. She took a peek and saw the light of the phone shining on his flushed face as he stared at the screen.

“Poe Dameron, huh?”

Oh no.

Immediately, Rey opened her eyes and made a grab for her phone. “Give that back!”

Ben only laughed and held the phone away, grabbing both Rey’s wrists with his free hand and pinning them above her head. “I knew you were awake, baby girl. You really should set a passcode for your phone, or other people might get access to your messages.”

Rey started kicking and squirming, but it was no use. Ben had her pinned down between his legs and his grip on her hands was strong.

“He sent you a selfie of him lying down shirtless in bed.” Ben showed her the message, and sure enough, Poe had taken a rather intimate snapshot of himself. “Is this the kind of boy you’re going for, Rey?”

“I’m not going for him,” Rey denied. “I swear, I’m not. He’s just a friend.”

“Just a friend, huh?” Ben mimicked, then began pressing keys on the phone.

Rey started struggling in vain again. “What are you doing?”

“Calling him.” Ben smirked, much to Rey’s horror, and put the phone beside her on the bed. She could hear loud ringing coming from the phone. “I set it on speaker. Now, talk to him.”

Gone was the broken man from earlier, replaced now with a man seemingly possessed. His voice sounded so much like the time he had practically commanded her to touch herself, and it both scared and thrilled her at the same time.

Then, Poe answered the call. “Well, fancy this. Miss Reynabelle Snoke finally calling me.”

“Uhm, hi, Poe.” Rey tried not to hiss when Ben bit down on her neck and began palming her breast.  “H-How are you doing?”

“Doing great now that you’ve called,” Poe replied. Rey could sense he was smiling, but she could barely concentrate on the call. Not when Ben was tugging at her erect nipple with his fingers. “Why did you call anyway?”

“I just...called to say that, uhm...” Rey bit her lip as if it could help her hold back a moan. Ben had just pulled down her chemise, exposing her breast to the cool night air, and she could feel the warmth of his breath over it. Was he going to...

Rey was barely able to muffle the sounds coming out of her when Ben started sucking on her nipple, toying with it with his lips, moistening it with his tongue.

“Rey? Are you alright?” Poe asked, genuinely concerned. “You sound like you’re choking or something.”

“I’m...a bit sick.” Rey made a show of coughing in between moans as Ben took her breast in his mouth, sucking it hard before letting it go with a pop. He did the same to her other breast, his free hand now travelling down towards her panties.

“Oh? Then maybe you should rest now.”

“Maybe I should,” Rey said almost in a growl, glaring at Ben who only smiled impishly. Then, he slipped his fingers inside her panties, Rey’s glare disappearing as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

“Rey?”

“I’m...still here, Poe,” she said through gritted teeth, trying her best to stifle her moans as Ben toyed with her clit. Oh God, it felt so much better than her own fingers. “P-Poe...I think we should...end the call now.”

“Uhm...okay.”

Silence. Rey pressed her lips together and shut her eyes, her back arching when Ben rubbed her clit in circles. Unable to hold back anymore, she moaned and gasped at the same time while his lips once again fell on her throat, nipping and sucking on skin.

“Rey? You alright?”

Poe. He was still on the phone!

“I told you to end the call,” Rey said, more than a little panicked. She’d end the call herself if Ben still didn’t keep her hands pinned above her head.

“Sorry. It’s just that you sound like you’re either in pain or feeling good. I couldn’t tell.” She heard Poe chuckle seductively. “What exactly are you doing, Rey?”

“N-nothing,” Rey exclaimed, even as her face contorted in pleasure from Ben’s intimate caresses. “End the call now, Poe. Please.”

“Okay, Rey. See you on Monday. Good night.”

“G-Good night.”

Rey held her breath before finally letting it go when she heard the call end. She mustered a glare at Ben, who seemed amused by it all. “What were you thinking, Ben? We could have been caught!”

“That’s part of the thrill, baby girl,” he grinned before at last setting her hands free.

“I don’t get what’s so thrilling about it,” Rey said with a pout, even as Ben’s fingers elicited little mewls from her lips.

“Then, you’ve still got a lot to learn.” He took his hand out of her panties, and Rey gaped in surprise as he licked every single one of his digits clean of her juices. “Mmmm. You taste divine.”

He moved over her again, and she watched as he shimmied out of his pajama bottoms, revealing the sizeable tent in his boxers.

Rey’s eyes widened, and in a panic, she grabbed hold of Ben’s arms, which were propped up on either side of her head. “Ben...a-are you...going to have sex with me?”

“No, baby girl. We’re just going to make each other feel good.” Ben began rubbing his clothed length along the wet spot of her panties, and she felt her toes curl as an overwhelming sensation rushed up to her spine. “Why? Do you want to have sex with me?”

She didn’t answer. Didn’t want to answer. She was scared and excited all at the same time, and it was a feeling that rendered her speechless.

Ben didn’t press further and just held her tight, thrusting and rubbing the erection in his boxers against her soaked panties while she buried her face on his shoulder, sharing in his moans and gasps, fingers clawing at his shoulders, legs locked around his waist.

She didn’t know how long they lay there, rocking against each other. Time seemed irrelevant, and the only thing that mattered was this feeling that passed between them, soft and sweet yet powerful all the same. And soon, Ben’s thrusting became more frantic, and Rey held fast as though afraid she might fall yet anticipating it all the same.

And fall she did. She arched her back and screamed as the same waves of euphoria crashed into her, and Ben held her to him, cursing while he jerked against her. She could feel something wet and warm against her crotch but she barely took notice. She was too enraptured by the heady feeling going up and down her body to notice anything else.

When the last of the spasms faded away, she let out a deep sigh. It was as though something heavy had been lifted off her shoulders, and she felt herself floating.

“Okay. Okay.” Ben turned to his side and gathered Rey in his arms, and she snuggled beneath his chin, listening to the rapid beating of his heart. She planted a kiss there, and he in turn, planted a kiss on the top of her head. “My baby girl...my sweet angel...”

Rey smiled despite herself and settled into the safe haven of Ben Solo’s arms, sleep swiftly coming to take her to dreams, which were filled with nothing but the nicest things.

She would wake up in the morning alone, the still warm space beside her the only indication that Ben had even been there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben have had a hot and heavy weekend so far but how long can it last? Find out in the next chapter which will be posted soon. I'm still writing it as we speak.
> 
> Updates should come regularly from here on end, as I have outlined several chapters ahead. Thank you to everyone who have read and given their thoughts on the chapters and for everyone who has supported this fic. Wouldn't have been able to continue writing without you guys so thank you.
> 
> Until the next train station! We'll see if its still at smutsville or if we're going to detour to pain central.


	16. PLANS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a special date coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!! Sorry for not posting this soon guys. Like I said I normally post once every 1000 hits, but it took me a while to sort out the events of upcoming chapters, and I had to choose between a faster story progression or character and relationship development. I chose the latter.
> 
> No smut in this chapter, just mentions of what happened in the previous one in case you decided to skip it.
> 
> On to more plot!

Ben sat on his dining room chair, popping an Advil and nursing a glass of water. He’d woken up with a major headache, no thanks to the amount of bourbon he had drunk the night before.

Before him was an uneaten breakfast for two consisting of bacon, eggs and French toast with a glass of orange juice. Rey hadn’t emerged from her room yet since he left her side, and it was probably best that she didn’t. He wasn’t sure yet how to talk to her after what had happened.

Ben chugged down the water in a few gulps, quenching his parched throat. Of course he knew what had happened. There may be some hazy spots in his memory, but he knew what had occurred in that bedroom. He’d locked himself up in his study, hoping the bourbon would knock him out cold but instead it had made his body grow hot. It had made _him_ grow hot, and he had gone to Rey’s room, his mind intent on apologizing, his body intent on something else.

As with before, his body had won out.

He put his head in his hands. When was this going to stop? When was _he_ going to stop? He seemed to be spiralling out of control around her, just like he had with Annabelle.

Annabelle...she had been his first. His first kiss. His first sexual experience. His first in countless of ways. He’d forgone so many things just to be with her all the time. Be _in_ her all the time. She had had him wrapped around her finger, left him begging and wanting for more until he was practically grovelling at her feet. Even after she had cheated on him, he had still held on to the hope that she would come back to him, and it had taken a long time for him to accept that she wouldn’t.

And now, he was turning his obsessions on her daughter...

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and he looked up the doorway to see Rey, standing in a black silk robe, the red chemise peeking out from the opening, her chestnut hair mussed, her cheeks a healthy pink. She looked well-rested despite her disheveled appearance, and Ben found her achingly beautiful.

He gritted his teeth. He had to stop thinking these dangerous thoughts.

“Good morning, Ben,” Rey smiled shyly as she walked towards her chair beside him. “I didn’t expect to find you here.”

She leaned over and much to Ben’s surprise, brushed her soft lips on his cheek.

“Last night was wonderful,” she whispered in his ear and squeezed his hand, pulling back just as Threepio came in, apparently hoping to clear the plates away. Seeing that the food was still uneaten, the old butler excused himself once more and disappeared in the doorway.

“Although...” Rey continued once Threepio was out of earshot, “I really didn’t care much for when you suddenly called Poe and had me talk to him while you touched me. It may have been thrilling for you, but it wasn’t for me. It was scary. We could have been caught.”

Ben could barely remember that part. But there was something else that bothered him. With a low voice, he said, “Rey, try to keep your voice down when you talk about these things. And try not to be so affectionate around me when we’re not in private. I don’t want anyone, least of all the servants finding out about us.”

“So, this is supposed to be our secret?” There was something in Rey’s voice, an undeniable excitement at the prospect of having to conspire with him.

“Yes,” Ben affirmed. “Our secret.”

“Okay,” Rey nodded, and said nothing more on the subject as she dug into her food. Instead, she filled Ben in on the friends she had made, how they had helped her get new clothes, her school, her classes, almost everything except talk about the private moments they had shared. Rey could talk a streak if she wanted to, but Ben didn’t mind. With her talking and him listening while peppering in a few questions from time to time...it almost seemed like they had a normal stepfather-stepdaughter relationship.

Almost normal. There was the matter of Rey’s foot brushing seductively against his leg.

He cleared his throat and pretended not to notice.

“So...” Rey said once she had finished the last of her toast, her toes running up and down the back of his leg, “How about you, Ben? How’s work? Are you still seeing Denise Phasma?”

She tried to sound casual about it, but the implications were obvious to Ben. Why ask him that question unless she was, dare he say, a bit jealous? Had that been the reason she got back at him by sending him that selfie with Poe Dameron?

That had to be.

He felt his ego inflate at the thought that Rey could be jealous of any woman close to him, but he tried not to let it show. “I’m not seeing her anymore. It didn’t work out.”

“It didn’t?” Rey failed again at hiding the eagerness in her voice. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be.” Ben shrugged, knowing full well she wasn’t sorry at all. “Sometimes things just don’t work out between people.”

“Why didn’t it work out between you?” Rey pursued, and Ben pursed his lips before answering.

“We both wanted different things in life I suppose. She wanted someone carefree. I’m not.”

“And...what do _you_ want, Ben?” she asked, and he stared back at her, at the hope that was in her eyes, and he suddenly remembered what he had said to her the night before.

 _“...I want_ you _too much to stay away...”_

 _“...I want_ you _...”_

Ben swallowed hard and averted eyes. “It doesn’t matter what I want. What matters is that I take care of my responsibilities towards the company...my employees...the house...you...”

He’d meant to sound impassive, but he had added the last part gently. Almost tenderly, and he saw Rey’s cheeks light up with a blush. “You don’t have to stop having a life on account of me, Ben.”

“I made a promise to your mother that I would take care of you,” he reminded her, his voice growing stiff at the mention of Annabelle. “I intend to carry out that promise no matter what.”

Rey was quiet for a moment, her foot having stopped caressing his leg. “Is the promise you made to Mother the only reason you take care of me?”

“I’m a man of my word, Rey,” Ben said, not directly answering the question even though he knew the answer was no, it wasn’t the only reason. But to directly answer would lead to dangerous territory—into deeper truths that he couldn’t afford to entertain. He was already on mighty fine ice as it was, in grave danger of falling in...

Rey seemed disappointed with his reply, and it showed in the way she quietly pushed around the remnants of her breakfast with a fork.

Ben decided to move on to another topic. Remembering the date, he said, “Is there anything you want to do next Saturday? It’s a special day, after all.”

Rey frowned. “What’s so special about next Saturday?”

“This coming Saturday will be 30th,” he reminded, and when she still looked at him questioningly, he added, “It’s your 14th birthday.”

Rey blinked and straightened herself. “Oh.”

Ben tilted his head at her, the corner of his lip lifting into a barely visible smirk. “Don’t tell me you forgot?”

“I guess I did.” Rey sat back in her chair, staring ahead as if in astonishment. “I mean...so many things have happened that I really didn’t think about it. There’s school...making new friends...us...”

That silenced Ben. She probably hadn’t meant to, but she had emphasized ‘us’. And it was true. So much had happened between them in the span of a week, with things escalating to what had occurred in her bedroom only the night before.

He staved off the memories, hoping Rey didn’t notice how red his face had gotten. “Anyway, like I asked. Is there anything in particular you want to do for your birthday?”

“I don’t know.” Rey shrugged. “I suppose we could have the usual cake and ice cream at home, like we do almost every year.”

“This year will be different,” Ben said, putting his elbows on the table as he leaned over to Rey. “Why don’t you invite your friends over? You could watch movies. Maybe swim in the pool.”

Rey thought about it for the moment. “And where will you be?”

“I’ll be in my study. I won’t be in the way.”

“But Ben...I want to celebrate with you,” she protested. “I get to see my friends all the time. We could even have an early celebration at school. But you...I only get to see you on weekends.”

Ben leaned back in his chair, deciding to say what needed to be said. “Rey...you need to spend more time with people your age. It’s...it’s healthier for you.”

Rey crossed her arms across her breasts and pouted. “It’s my birthday. I get to decide how I celebrate it. And I say you take me out somewhere. Maybe...to the fair.” She perked up, seeming to like the idea more and more. “I’ve never been to the fair. I want to ride the Ferris Wheel, eat cotton candy, play darts and all that.”

“You can do that with your friends.”

“But I want to do it with you.”

Ben was a little jarred by her choice of words and he had to fight off impure thoughts from his head.

“Ben, please.” Rey put a hand on his, and he stared at where her thumb caressed his knuckle. “You know I never ask for much on my birthdays. I’m asking now. Take me to the fair. Please?”

She continued to run her thumb over his knuckle, and Ben looked up into her hazel eyes—pleading and hopeful at the same time.

His mind began screaming. He wasn’t supposed to even think of doing this. He was supposed to stay away. Hadn’t that been the plan? For his sake and especially Rey’s? Them continuing to spend this much time together...it just wasn’t healthy. And yet...

“Does it really mean that much to you?” he asked softly. “To spend your birthday with me?”

“It means everything, Ben,” Rey answered just as softly, and that was all it took for his defenses to once again crumble.

“Okay, Rey. I’ll take you to the fair.”

“Yes!” Rey literally jumped off her chair to give him a tight hug. “Thank you, Ben. It’ll be a date!”

A date, Ben thought, brushing off the alarm bells ringing in his head. It would just be one innocent date, a stepfather and his stepdaughter having fun at the fair.

There would be no harm in that. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plans have a way of not going the way you think, is all I'm saying :) Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed the development between Ben and Rey here. Ben's practically under Rey's thumb, just like he was with Annabelle. How long will that last though before logic finally prevails? Find out next chapter.
> 
> Next chapter's already been written so I won't wait too long to post it. Meanwhile, I'm going to start writing chapter 18. No idea yet how long this fic will be, but I assure you guys the ending has been written and I hope you'll continue to join me on our journey towards the end. Thank you for all your support, kudos and comments! They're very much appreciated!


	17. HALT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reality sets in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If one of the previous chapters was the smut train with a side of pain, this time we're on the pain train with a side of smut (ish). You'll see what I mean soon.

A few minutes until Sunday. Ben hadn’t touched her all day, or come into her room. He had only said good night earlier before leaving her at her door, but Rey wasn’t too disappointed. She was still too giddy with the fact that she got him to say ‘yes’ to taking her to the fair next weekend, and already, she couldn’t wait. It was going to be the best birthday ever, she thought. She would wear something nice, maybe one of her dresses for once, the red one with the short, puffy sleeves and the sweetheart collar. He would be wearing something more casual, a not-so-formal button down shirt perhaps, and he would take her to ride the Ferris Wheel. Then they would share ice cream and corn dogs and whatever food there was at the fair. They would walk hand in hand, enjoying the sights and sounds, rides and attractions until their feet ache. And then, when they got home, maybe they could...

She giggled to herself as she rolled around her mattress until she was on her back and kicking her legs in the air. She had never been so happy, so excited for her birthday before. The previous ones she had, she had spent indoors but now that she was older and healthier, she could spend it outside. And best of all, she would spend it with Ben.

_A date..._

Blushing furiously, she grabbed her pillow to bury her squeals of delight in its softness. She was so happy she could scream about it to the heavens.

It was just too bad they had to keep what they had between them a secret...

Finally catching her breath, Rey sat up from her bed and stared at her closed door, the hem of her pale blue nightgown riding up to her hips. She wondered if Ben was asleep. She could check, she thought. If he was awake, then maybe they could talk until she was sleepy. If he was asleep, then maybe...maybe it was time for some payback for when he entered her room the night before.

A devious smile lit her lips as she jumped off of bed and headed out of her room. Checking to make sure no one saw her, she padded across the hall and knocked on Ben’s door.

* * *

He had done surprisingly well today. He had manage to curb his urges around Rey, had spent the entire day with her—breakfast, lunch, dinner, some quiet moments in the library and in the living room together—all without so much as touching her inappropriately. Rey had behaved herself as well, though she was by his side more than usual. Still, besides her convincing him to take her to the fair, the lack of significant happenings that day gave him hope that they could have a normal stepfather-stepdaughter relationship. Certainly, things had changed from before. He couldn’t be as distant as he wanted to—not after all that had happened. And he found that he liked Rey’s company. All these years of being essentially alone, it was nice to have someone to talk to, someone who listened. Someone who cared without pretense or an agenda.

It was nice to feel...wanted.

Ben shook his head and lay on his side. He was edging into dangerous thoughts again...

Three knocks echoed from his door, followed by a small voice he had become all too familiar with. “Ben? It’s me.”

Ben stood up from bed and hesitated as a myriad of scenarios ran through his head. Perhaps Rey just wanted to talk. Or maybe she wanted something more. What if she was actually sick again? And it was that last thought that finally pushed him to go to the door and open it for her.

“Rey,” he breathed when he saw her, trying to ignore the way his body reacted to the sight of her in a pale blue sleeveless nightgown which barely covered her knees. “What are you doing here? It’s late.”

“I can’t sleep,” she said, though she didn’t seem frustrated about it. In fact, she was grinning. “Can I come in?”

Ben felt two sides of him warring again, and he ended up standing in the doorway in silence, not really knowing what to do or what to say.

Rey shifted her weight from one foot to the other, clearly becoming uncomfortable with his silence. “Uhm...it’s okay, if you don’t want me to. I guess I just...wanted to see you again before I go to bed.” She took a few steps backwards. “Good night, Ben. Sorry if I bothered you.”

“Wait,” he said just as she was about to turn. He didn’t know why he had stopped her; only that he didn’t like her leaving this way.

With a sigh, he stepped aside from the doorway and gestured for her to come in, and the smile that radiated from her lips could’ve melted him into a puddle.

She hurried inside, Ben looking at either side of the hallway to make sure no one had seen them before he closed the door. When he turned to her, he found that she had climbed up on to his bed and was jumping on the mattress, her hair flying over her shoulders.

“I’ve never been inside your room before,” Rey said breathlessly. “It’s really nice and spacious here. And your bed’s so much quieter than mine. We could bounce around all day without anyone noticing.”

Ben felt his cheeks grow hot. He wasn’t sure if she understood the implications of what she had just said or if she was actually flirting with him.

“Rey, get down from there before you hurt yourself.” Ben reached out for her arms, and she giggled, jumping away from him instead.

“Come on, Ben! Let’s bounce!” she called, still jumping away and moving dangerously close to the edge of the bed. Quickly, he climbed on to the bed and grabbed her, falling back down and laying on the safety of the mattress with her.

He should be mad at her. He should be livid. But he wasn’t. Rey was laughing, and it was one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard in his entire life. He had never heard her laugh before. Had never heard her so happy that soon, he found himself smiling into her shoulder as he held her from behind, the scent of her hair filling his nostrils.

With an overwhelming desire to look at her face, he moved so that he was propped up on his elbows above her, and he was rewarded with the brightest of smiles on her pink lips.

Rey’s laughter faded but her smile didn’t. No words passed between them as Ben tucked her hair behind her ear, and Rey in turn ran her fingers down the side of his face, their eyes locked on to each other. A gentle feeling passed between them—soft and warm. Ben could feel it in the way her heart fluttered against his chest, and he could feel his own heart beating in a way it hadn’t before.

Rey moved her hand to his jaw line, and he turned his face so he could kiss her palm, gently running his lips through the small expanse of it, to her wrist, up her arm, to her shoulder and to her neck. Now lost in the feeling, he began nipping and sucking on her throat, eliciting little mewls from her lips as she arched her body against his, her hands flying to his hair and clawing at the dark strands.

Moving away from her throat and with his eyes closed in reverie, he moved up to kiss her jaw, her cheek, her forehead, her nose and...

He stopped just short of kissing her lips, his mouth hovering over hers, their noses touching. He opened his eyes to find Rey staring back at him with a look of utmost adoration, and it was in that moment that fear gripped his entire being.

He had felt it too.

“I...I can’t do this...” he whispered, and lifted himself away to sit at the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He felt the bed shift as Rey sat up as well and moved to sit beside him.

“Ben...” she put a hand on his shoulder, and he visibly flinched. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” he said brokenly, as the reality of the situation, everything that had happened in the last few days crashed down on him like a tidal wave. Everything they had done...and especially everything he had felt and was still feeling...it was all so wrong. “Rey...we have to stop.”

Rey stared at Ben. The silence between them seemed to stretch before she swallowed. “Why? Is it because we’re stepfather and stepdaughter?” She lifted her hand away from his shoulder. “We’re not blood related.”

“It’s more than that and you know it,” Ben said and looked at her, though he avoided her eyes when he said, “Rey, I’m an adult and you...you’re just a child.”

“But I’m no longer a little girl,” Rey objected. “You said so yourself.”

“You’re still only thirteen,” Ben reminded her, and it was like something heavy lay on his chest as he said it.

“I’ll be fourteen next week,” Rey countered.

“That doesn’t make much of a difference,” he said, running a hand over his hair. “If anyone finds out about us, I could get into trouble.”

“ _If_ someone finds out,” Rey punctuated. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

“Keeping it a secret doesn’t make it right. In fact, it only makes it worse.” Ben let out a breath. He was having difficulty breathing, the subject matter weighing so heavily on him. If he had a choice he wouldn’t even have this conversation, but it was a conversation that needed to happen. “Rey, I’m sorry. For all the times I approached and touched you inappropriately. I should never have done that. You’re not ready for this.”

Rey winced. “Shouldn’t I be the one to decide whether I’m ready or not?”

“Yes, but right now, you’re still too young to make that decision.” Ben shifted so that his body was angled towards hers. “Rey...let’s start over. Go back to the way things were.”

“I don’t want to go back to the way things were before this,” Rey protested hotly. “I don’t want you keeping your distance from me again.”

“I won’t, but it’ll be like nothing happened between us,” Ben insisted, his calm demeanour seeming to irk Rey. “We could still spend time together, just not in that way. It’s for your own good.”

“If it’s for my own good, why does it feel like a punishment?” Rey huffed.

“I’m not punishing you, Rey. I’m trying to protect you.”

“From what?”

“From me.” Ben made a show of striking his chest. It hurt, but he deserved so much more pain than that, he thought. “Rey, I’m not good for you. You need to be with someone your own age. Preferably when you’re older and—”

“What if I want to be with you?” Rey interjected, and Ben fell into stunned silence.

It was a while before he was able to speak again. “You...you don’t know what you want, Rey. You’re just...confused. All this is new to you. Exciting even. It feels good. But just because it feels good doesn’t mean it is good. Do you understand?”

“No, you’re the one who doesn’t understand,” Rey countered, her voice trembling as she continued, “I want to be with you. Not just because you make me feel good, but you make me feel safe. You make me laugh. You make me feel wanted. Protected and cared for. You _are_ good for me, Ben. Why can’t you see that?”

“Because I’m never good enough for anyone,” Ben exclaimed as recollections of hurt, betrayal and rejection came forth. “I wasn’t good enough for your mother. Or the women after her. Why should you be any different?”

“Because I’m not my mother. Or any of those other women,” Rey said, and Ben could see tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “I’m just a girl who wants to be with you.”

“There. You said it yourself. You’re just a girl.” His fingers curled at the side of the bed. He was having a hard time keeping his voice steady, but he had to. He had to stand firm this time. “And that’s why this has to stop.” He stood up from bed, and with his back towards her, said, “I think it’s time you leave, Rey.”

He heard shuffling and sniffling behind him, but he refused to turn. He didn’t want to see her cry. Didn’t want the image of her laughing in his arms to be tarnished by her tears, and so he closed his eyes and waited for her to leave. Waited until the door opened and closed with a slam before opening his eyes to find Rey gone.

He never felt so alone.

* * *

Poe lay on his bed, scrolling through the messages in his phone. It was late, but he couldn’t sleep. He had too much in mind, in particular a girl with a head of chestnut brown hair and a pair of hazel eyes. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her ever since she unexpectedly called him a few nights ago, with her breathy voice, gasps and sudden moans. Pain, pleasure, he still couldn’t tell, but the fact that she had called right after he sent a shirtless selfie...well...his ego would like to think it was one way and not the other.

He tapped his phone against his chin. He wondered if he could repeat the results, and so he took another snapshot of himself and sent it over with a text.

> **_Poe_ ** _  
> Can’t sleep. Your fault :)_

He smirked. If Rey were any other girl, she’d get his innuendo. But she wasn’t any other girl. She was innocent. Untouched. And most importantly, she was...

His phone vibrated with a reply, and he blinked in surprise. He certainly wasn’t expecting a response so soon. Not at this hour.

> **_Reynabelle Snoke_ ** _  
> Poe, are you free next weekend?_
> 
> **_Poe_ ** _  
> For you Rey, I’m always free :)_
> 
> **_Reynabelle Snoke_ ** _  
> Good. It’s my 14 th birthday next Saturday. I’d like you to take me to the fair._

Poe raised an eyebrow. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say Rey was being pretty assertive.

He decided to push his luck.

> **_Poe_ ** _  
> Sure, Rey. It’s a date!_

He waited for her reply. It didn’t come until a few minutes later.

> **_Reynabelle Snoke_ ** _  
> It’s a date._

Poe had to stare at the message a few times before it finally sank in. Rey had just agreed to go on a date with him. On her 14th birthday. Next Saturday.

A smile found its way to his lips. Things were moving faster than he had anticipated, and he couldn’t be more eager.

He opened his phone’s browser, looked up the local fair and began to meticulously plan for Rey’s birthday. He would make it special, he thought. He would make it a day she would not soon forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Ben's sober here and decided to put an end to things. And Rey's decided to go with Poe instead to the fair. Next chapter, Rey goes back to school. Things are changing fast and we'll see how she navigates her life now that Ben had made his position clear.
> 
> Next chapter's already written so I will try to post that soon too, although I will probably wait until I've written the next two chapters before I do. A lot of things are going to happen so stay tuned and as always, I thank you guys for your support as well as your comments. Interacting with you guys has been what's pushing me to work faster so don't be shy in leaving little nuggets of your thoughts below. Thank you again and have an awesome day!


	18. DAMERON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations come to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for waiting guys. Hits have come a bit slow these past few days so I decided to forego my usual game of posting every 1000 hits and just went right ahead to posting this chapter. Aside from that, I also encountered a bit of struggle because this used to be two chapters, but I decided in the end to fuse it into one long chapter. If you can tell from the title, there will be some revelations happening here. More plot for you guys! Let it thicken!

Sunday came and went, and now it was early Monday morning. Rey stood before her dresser mirror, staring at herself in her Raddus Hall uniform. It had finally arrived from the tailor’s yesterday but she had been too despondent to fit it until today, when she would need it for school.

She slowly turned around so she could see if everything was in order. Her uniform consisted of a white button down shirt under a gray sweater, a dark blue blazer with the emblem of Raddus Hall on the left breast pocket, a green pleated tartan skirt an inch above the knee, knee-high black socks and black school shoes. It was a lot of articles of clothing to wear all at once, but it was worth it not to stick out so much at school anymore, or wear her new clothes which she was yet to be comfortable with.

She wondered what Ben would think of her new uniform but she immediately perished the thought. She should stop thinking about him. He had made his position perfectly clear, and he had driven it home in the way he acted around her the day before—keeping his distance, never once touching her, though he did ask after her well-being and encouraged her to eat despite her lack of appetite. He had also talked to her about mundane things—about school and the importance of diligence and hard work, giving her advice she didn’t ask for. He was basically trying to act like a father. It annoyed Rey to no end, and she showed it through her general lack of interest in conversing with him, only giving him monosyllabic answers to any questions he threw her way. If he noticed, he didn’t let on, and continued to act as though everything was normal.

But things were far from normal. She knew it, he knew it, but he wouldn’t acknowledge it. There was now a chasm between them and she didn’t know how it could be mended.

Straightening her blazer and grabbing her school bag, Rey exited her room and bounded down the stairs. Artoo should have brought her luggage to the car by now, so all she needed to do was get in and drive off with him.

“Rey!”

Rey stopped in the foyer and grimaced before she turned to Ben, who walked towards her in long strides. Already he was wearing his suit, ready for his morning commute to work. He paused a few feet away from her and looked at her from head to toe.

“Your uniform suits you,” he said with a nod of approval before handing her a small Tupperware she didn’t even realize he was carrying. “Here. I know you don’t have time for breakfast so I made this for you. It’s a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, just how you like it.”

Rey took the Tupperware gingerly in her hands and stared at it for a moment. He made this for her. But she couldn’t appreciate the gesture as much as she wanted to. He was trying far too hard and it was grating on her nerves.

“Thanks,” she muttered under her breath and turned to leave when Ben followed her to the door, opening it for her. She went through without thanking him and hurried towards the waiting car.

“I’ll be here when you get home,” Ben called just as she was about to step inside the Benz.

“You don’t have to bother,” Rey called back without looking at him, then entered the vehicle without so much as a goodbye. It was only after Artoo started to drive away that she dared look back and saw Ben still standing there, staring after the car.

She faced forward once they had driven past the gates and opened the Tupperware Ben had given her. There were a couple of PBJs in there just as he had said there would be. He had taken the time to make this for her and yet she had barely even thanked him for it.

He deserved it, she justified to herself, and she continued to tell herself that as she took one of the sandwiches and bit into it, her tongue relishing in the flavors even though she herself didn’t. He deserved it, she thought with every bite, every chew, every swallow. He deserved it for hurting her this way, for turning her down just as she was baring her heart to him.

She wasn’t going to allow herself to be vulnerable like that ever again.

So why couldn’t she stop crying?

Sobs wracked her body as she finished the last of her sandwich. Artoo said nothing, but handed her a box of tissues and a bottle of water, which she gratefully accepted.

It took a while for her to stop crying, and by the time she was done, Artoo had already parked in front of the school.

Wiping the last of her tears away, Rey disembarked from the Benz and led Artoo to her room, where he left her luggage by the side of the bed before bidding farewell.

Rey sat on her bed and looked around. Her room was exactly as she had left it—spic and span, with everything in its place. Then, her eyes darted towards the dollhouse, where she could see the Ben and Rey dolls just as she had left them—with Ben doll touching Rey doll’s chest.

Cheeks flaming, she hurried to the dollhouse and separated the two, putting each in their own rooms before backing away. She wouldn’t be playing with this dollhouse anymore, she thought. At least not for the foreseeable future. It reminded her far too much of Ben.

Straightening herself, she hoisted her school bag over her shoulder and walked out of her room, bumping shoulders along the way. It wasn’t until she was nearing her classroom that she saw a familiar face emerge from the corridor.

“Rey!” Rose hurried towards her and gave her a big hug. “You look great in your uniform.”

“So do you,” Rey managed a smile as Rose let her go. “Where’s Finn?”

“Oh, he’ll be around later and...” Rose stopped midsentence, her eyes widening as she pointed to Rey’s neck and whispered, “Oh my God, Rey. Are those hickies?”

Rey looked at her, puzzled. “Hickies?”

“Kiss marks,” Rose reiterated. “On your neck.”

Rey’s hand flew to her throat, and she swallowed. She had noticed the splotches earlier but hadn’t really given much them much thought.

“They’re bites,” she tried to lie, but blanched at her own words and added, “Bug bites.”

“Yeah right, Rey. I know a hickey when I see one. Hold on.” Rose rummaged through her bag and took out a red scarf, which she quickly wrapped around Rey’s neck. “There. That should hide them, though you’re going to have to keep wearing a scarf until the hickies disappear.”

“Thanks, Rose.”

Rose considered Rey for a moment. “So, it’s really true? You really do have a boyfriend?”

Rey decided to go for half the truth. “ _Had_ a boyfriend. We...we broke up over the weekend.”

“Ouch.” Rose grimaced as if in pain. “Man, I really thought you were fibbing when you said you have a boyfriend. So, you’ve also really gone to second base?”

That and more, Rey thought, although that would no longer be happening now. “I don’t really want to talk about it right now, Rose.”

“Ugly break up, huh?”

“Yes, ugly.”

Rose opened her mouth to say something more, but a familiar voice rang out from the throng of students in the corridor, making both girls turn around to see Poe running towards them.

“Hey girls,” Poe greeted and turned to Rey, his dark brown eyes on her red scarf. “What’s with the scarf, Rey? Are you still sick or something?”

“Sick?” Rose repeated.

“She called me last Friday night. She sounded sick.” Poe explained, then unexpectedly took Rey’s hands. “Yeah, your hands do feel cold.” He began to rub them to warm them, and Rey looked at him as though it were the first time she saw him.

Once she felt her hands were warm enough, she took them away and thanked Poe.

“Anything for you, Rey.” Poe winked. “So...are you excited for this weekend?”

“What’s up this weekend?” Rose quipped, and Rey suddenly remembered that she hadn’t actually included Rose and Finn in her plans for her birthday.

She was going to have to rectify that. “Poe, would it be okay if Rose and Finn came with us? I think it will be more fun with more people around.”

“Uhm, sure, Rey. Whatever you want. It’s your birthday after all,” Poe said with a smile, though Rey could tell that he was more than a little disappointed.

“You didn’t tell me your birthday was coming up,” Rose said, nudging Rey with her elbow. “When exactly is it?”

“This Saturday. We’ll be going to the fair,” Rey explained and turned back to Poe. “You wouldn’t mind driving us, would you Poe?”

“No problem. Just text me your address and I’ll pick you up at oh say...two o’ clock?” Poe asked, and Rey shrugged.

“Two o’ clock sounds fine to me.”

“Great! Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta get to class.” Poe stepped away and waved. “See you at lunch!”

Rey waved at him as did Rose as he disappeared back into the crowd. Once he was gone, Rose nudged her by the elbow again.

“Did you just land us a double date with Poe Dameron?”

“Yes, I guess I did.”

“Woohoo!” Rose pumped her fist in the air. “I can’t wait to tell Finn! Oh, this is going to be so much fun!”

“Yes. Fun.” Rey tried her best to smile, but it was a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Not too long ago, she had daydreamed of her and Ben going to the fair. Now it would be just that—a dream and nothing more.

* * *

The week passed by slowly for Rey. Classes seemed dull and even hanging out with her friends had lost much of its luster. Rose was only too quick to notice Rey’s dark mood and would often try to cheer her up, but to no avail. It got so the girl eventually became frustrated.

“You really need to get over your ex-boyfriend, Rey,” Rose finally said at one point. “No use being hung up on the past when you’ve got Poe Dameron waiting in the wings.”

Poe. He had remained sweet all week, always having lunch with them and doing his best to make her laugh. It didn’t really work, but she could appreciate the effort, which she rewarded with a smile. That seemed to be enough for Poe, as his eyes always ended up twinkling.

Not for the first time, Rey wondered if she could move on with Poe. Not for the first time, she wondered why it couldn’t just be as easy as that.

As for Ben, he remained a fixture in her inbox, texting her constantly to inquire after her, though his texts were no longer as frequent as before. No more selfies or photos exchanged. No more jokes either. Just a ‘father’ texting his ‘daughter’ to check up on her and make sure she was okay.

Rey replied to his texts but only in a few words. Short. Formal. Impersonal. And sometimes, she would wait hours before she replied. She had lost enthusiasm for everything, especially for communicating with him. Food was bland, the skies were drab, the days dreary. Whatever happiness she may have felt at the prospect of going on a date with Ben seemed so alien now, and she wondered if she could ever be that happy again. Maybe not. She really didn’t care much anymore.

Soon enough, it was Friday afternoon, and she was once again in the Benz with Artoo on her way back to Alderaan Manor for the weekend. It barely registered to her that they had reached home until she spotted Ben waiting on the porch.

He had remained true to his word despite how curtly she had dismissed him when she had left.

Suppressing the feelings welling up in her chest, Rey exited the vehicle and stared up at Ben, who remained standing in his dress shirt and slacks, hands clasped in front of him. Only a week before, she had jumped into those strong arms, and he had held her fast, and things had led up to an intimate encounter in her bedroom. There would be none of that now.

Ben let out a small smile. He wasn’t as clean shaven as before. There was a five o’ clock shadow on his jaw line and there were bags under his eyes. He looked sick.

Unable to stop her concern, Rey walked up to him and asked, “Are you alright, Ben?”

“Never better.” He tried to sound chipper but failed, and he stepped back from the door to let her in. “Shall we have dinner?”

Rey’s brows met with worry for Ben. Nevertheless, she walked past him and entered the house, making a slow trek towards the dining room.

Dinner that night was an affair, consisting of lobster, sea bass and crab. Rey always did have a soft spot for seafood, and despite the awkward air around her and Ben, she managed to enjoy the meal.

“Think of this as an early celebration for your birthday tomorrow,” Ben said when she had inquired about the food. With what seemed like his first genuine smile of the day, he turned to Rey and asked, “Are you ready for our date at the fair tomorrow?”

Rey didn’t look at him as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Actually...I’m going there with my friends instead. They’ll be picking me up here at two o’ clock sharp. I hope that’s okay.”

Ben was quiet for a beat. “Uhm, yes, I suppose that’s okay.”

A pause. Rey looked up to see Ben staring at the opposite wall of the dining room. His mind seemed far away, and she could’ve sworn he was actually hurting.

“It’s a good thing you’re hanging out with friends your age,” Ben finally said after a time, a tight smile on his full lips. “It’s for the best.”

Rey wasn’t sure whether he was telling her that, or telling himself that.

“Will Poe Dameron be there?” Ben questioned, pouring a glass of wine for himself.

“Yes,” Rey answered, her eyes on Ben’s glass as he filled it to the brim. “He’ll be the one driving us.”

Ben said nothing. Not at first. Not until he had drank from his glass, emptying it half way. “Rey...about that boy. I strongly suggest you stay away from him.”

Rey eyed him suspiciously. “Why?”

“Just trust me on this,” Ben said, a little firmly this time. “He’s not good for you.”

That response agitated Rey. “Oh. And of course you know _exactly_ what’s good for me, don’t you, Ben?”

Ben sighed. “Rey...please. I’m trying my best here.”

“Trying your best to what exactly? Be the father I never had?” Rey demanded, her voice growing shriller. “That ship has sailed, Ben. You can never be my father. Not after everything that has happened. And I don’t want you to be.”

“And what do you want me to be, Rey?”

Silence. Rey could find no reply, no retort suited for such a question.

“See? You don’t even know what you want or what you don’t want,” Ben pointed out and squared his shoulders. “I made a mistake. Several mistakes that have left you confused. I’m trying to make things right.”

“Then don’t come between me and my friends!” Rey snapped. “You want me to be around boys my age don’t you?”

“Yes, but you’re still too young,” Ben argued.

“That never stopped you from doing the things you did,” Rey retorted, and Ben winced as though he had been slapped. Rey pushed back her plate and exited the dining room, fuming as she stomped to her bedroom and lay on her bed to sulk.

It wasn’t long after that Ben opened the door, though he didn’t go in. Rey tried to ignore his presence as she stared angrily at the ceiling, as though willing it to cave and crush them both.

After a long moment, Ben finally spoke. “There’s a possibility that Poe Dameron...could be your half-brother.”

Rey immediately sat up from bed. “What do you mean?”

“The Dameron name has always sounded familiar to me, so I had someone look him up,” Ben explained. “Turns out his father is Kes Dameron. A man your mother had a long term affair with.”

Rey’s stomach started to tie itself in knots as the information sank in. Poe...could be her half-brother?

“We haven’t figured out yet if the timing of the affair is right,” Ben continued, “Hence why it’s only a possibility, but it’s a possibility that’s there. I’m sorry, Rey. I know you liked that boy.”

Rey stilled, barely able fathom it. All those times Poe smiled at her, winked at her, held her hand and flirted with her...it all seemed so dirty now.

Once the dust settled however, Rey came to a new resolve. “It doesn’t matter. If anything, it means I should hang out with him more.”

“Rey...”

“If you’re worried about anything sexual happening between me and Poe, don’t be, that’s not going to happen. Especially not now,” Rey assured. “But if he is my half-brother, then I’d like to get to know him better.”

“Okay, Rey. Okay.” Ben nodded, and when Rey said nothing more, he said, “I’ll uhm...I’ll take my leave now. Good night.”

“Ben?”

“Yes?”

“Please take care of yourself, won’t you?” Rey asked, for the first time allowing genuine concern and care to seep into her voice. “Get some rest and lay off the alcohol for a while.”

Ben pressed his lips together and nodded before closing the door, leaving Rey to mull over everything he had just revealed.

A Dameron, she thought. She could be a Dameron. She could actually have a father and a brother. A real family. Not like the dysfunctional dynamic she had with Ben.

The thought of texting Poe the news crossed her mind but she shot it down almost immediately. News like this was too personal to relay over text message. She would talk to him about it in person, she thought. Tomorrow. At the fair or after, when they get some time alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, there's the possibility of Rey and Poe being related. How will she relay this to Poe? Will she get a chance to? How will he react? How will the double date at the fair go, knowing what she knows? Stay tuned to find out.
> 
> Meanwhile, I'm in a bit of a pinch. As a few of you may have seen from my tumblr posts (I usually post my thought processes there as I write), I'm having what I'd like to call the writer's burn out. Not writer's block, but a burn out. I ended up staring at my outline for a couple of hours without writing much of anything. I guess this is what happens when you write every day for two straight weeks without rest. So yeah, may need to rest for a bit. Meanwhile, please don't hesitate to sound off your comments in the comments section, as I really do love to read them (maybe it'll help with my burnout? Hehehe). Thanks again for reading Blossoming guys!
> 
> Oh, and apparently they've wrapped filming for Episode IX. I'M NOT READY!!! LOL I will try my best to finish this fic before December rolls out.


	19. BIRTHDAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day Rey will not soon forget...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter, and a particularly difficult one for me to write especially towards the end. As always, mind the tags.

Rey tightened the elastic band of her ponytail as she stood on the manor’s front porch, waiting for Poe’s Mustang to arrive. According to the last text message she received from him, they should be coming through the gates any minute now.

Nervously, she pulled down the edge of her denim shorts. It seemed to go well with her black t-shirt with the colorful print and her black sneakers, but it seemed the shorts were well...too short. She had picked it out because she wanted to look older than her thirteen, now fourteen years but that didn’t mean she was comfortable with it.

She felt a presence beside her and looked up to see Ben, stepping up to her side. He hadn’t changed since this morning, still wearing his dark gray sweater and baggy trousers, and he still looked tired as though he hadn’t had his morning coffee yet.

“They’re coming soon?” he asked.

“Yes, soon,” she answered and turned away from him. “You don’t have to see me off, Ben. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“But I want to meet your friends,” Ben said, before finally turning to look at her, his eyes moving up and down as he stared. “You look...grown up.”

“Thanks,” Rey muttered, and tugged at her shorts again.

“Don’t you think the shorts are a little...short though?”

 _“That’s what I’ve been thinking,”_ Rey thought but decided to instead say, “No. Other kids my age wear them like this all the time.”

“Okay,” Ben said unsurely. “I just don’t want Dameron to get the wrong idea.”

“Why would he?” she asked, and he looked at her contemplatively.

Before he could say anything more, car horns blared from the gate. Rey turned to the direction of the gate and sure enough, saw Poe’s Mustang. Ben went back to the front door to press the panel to open the gate, and Rey watched as the Mustang went through the electronic gates and drove inside the property, stopping in front of the porch.

Poe, Finn and Rose all disembarked from the car, their eyes widening as they took in the house.

“Nice place, Rey,” Finn breathed out with a grin, then stopped when Ben reappeared beside Rey. “Oh. Good afternoon, sir.”

“Ben, these are my friends,” Rey introduced, gesturing to them one by one. “This is Rose Tico. This is her boyfriend, Finn Wolff. And this is Poe Dameron.”

Rose and Finn held their hand up in a small wave, but Poe actually went up the steps and held out his hand to Ben. “How do you do, sir?”

“Very well, thank you for asking.” Ben shook Poe’s hand for an unusually long time, Rey noticed. She also saw the way Poe seemed to be hiding a grimace. “How old are you again, young man?”

“J-just turned seventeen, sir.” Rey watched as Poe tried to pull his hand away but Ben didn’t seem to want to let go.

“You’ll be in charge of these kids?” Ben pursued.

“Yes, sir.” Poe nodded.

“Okay. You make sure to bring my stepdaughter back at seven o’ clock sharp and not a minute more, you got that?” There was an edge to Ben’s voice. Something threatening there. Rey stared as the tug of war of hands continued to transpire before her until Ben finally let go.

“I’ll do my best to get her home before then, sir.” Poe discreetly flexed his hand.

“Good.” Ben backed off a little, his hardened features softening when he looked at Rey. “You have fun, alright?”

“I will,” Rey said, then hurried off to join her friends, who were getting back inside the car. This time though, she sat on the passenger’s side next to Poe while Rose and Finn sat in the backseat.

The car drove off. Rey looked at the side mirror and watched as Ben continued to stand on the porch, only tearing her eyes away once they were out the gates.

“Your stepfather’s a lot handsomer in real life,” Rose spoke up from the backseat. “And he seems pretty nice too.”

“Nice?” Poe repeated, the grimace he had been hiding earlier now manifesting on his lips. “He damned near broke my fingers. Is he mad at me or something?”

He had directed the question at Rey, who simply shrugged. Who knew what went on in Ben’s head these days?

The drive to the fair went on as normal, with conversation flowing freely about school, about life, and mostly what they were going to do at the fair, what rides they would go for, what food they would eat. In the end, they all decided to just wing it.

They arrived at the fair not half an hour later, and Rey was mesmerized. She had only seen the fair in pictures, but to see everything up close—the lights, the rides, the people—it was as overwhelming to her as the first time she went to the mall, perhaps more so because she was here not for shopping, but for an actual thrilling experience.

After Poe parked the car, they all got out and went into the crowds, making sure to buy their tickets first before entering the fair. There was so much to do, so many possibilities, so many places to go to, that Rey ended up relying on her friends as to what they should do first.

Deciding on a bit of sweet snack, they hurried to buy cotton candy, which they ate on their way to the shooting gallery. It was the first time Rey had ever eaten cotton candy, and she thought how this must be what eating a sweet cloud would be like.

At the shooting gallery, they all took turns shooting at mobile ducks. Rey barely hit a single duck. Poe and Finn though managed to do well enough to snag teddy bears, which they promptly gave to Rey and Rose respectively.

“Happy birthday, Rey,” Poe declared as he handed her a pink stuffed bear, which she gladly accepted.

“Thank you, Poe.” She hugged the small bear to her. “I’ll treasure it.”

Poe winked at her, then suddenly put his arm around her as they walked through the fair, Rose and Finn walking hand in hand ahead of them.

Rey stared at where Poe’s hand lay on her shoulder. She wasn’t at all comfortable with how close he was to her, and tried to move away but he held her fast, putting his whole arm over her shoulder so now she couldn’t get away.

Rey steeled herself. She was going to have to tell Poe about what she had learned from Ben, if only to stop his weird advances. But how would she even begin? Rose and Finn were always in earshot and she couldn’t risk revealing something so damning about her mother and Poe’s father when the possibility of her parentage wasn’t even certain yet.

She decided to start with something safer. “Poe, you mentioned your father and my mother were friends, right? How did they meet?”

“My dad works at a company which is a client of Solo Shipping Enterprises. He and my mother had lunch once with your stepdad and his wife Annabelle. I was there too but I was too young to remember much of it.”

“How old were you then?”

“About three or four maybe? I don’t know.”

Rey mentally counted the years. Poe said he had just turned seventeen. That meant it had been thirteen, fourteen years since Kes Dameron met Annabelle. The timing seemed to be right.

However, there was something nagging at the pit of Rey’s stomach. Something was off. But what?  

“Rey?” Poe tightened his hold on her.

“What’s your father like?” Rey suddenly asked.

Poe smirked, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Curious, are we?”

“I just want to know about the friends my mother had,” Rey said.

Poe considered her for a moment, then his eyes darkened in a way that made her unsettled. “My father and I are estranged. We have been for a long time, ever since my mother died around ten years ago.”

 “I’m sorry to hear that,” Rey said softly.

Poe muttered something under his breath that sounded an awful lot like, “You ought to be.”

“What was that?”

“I said don’t be,” Poe reiterated, though Rey was pretty sure that wasn’t what he said the first time. Then, he smiled, though his eyes remained unreadable. “Enough of this sad talk. Let’s head to the Ferris Wheel next.”

The Ferris Wheel was huge, and each cabin could accommodate four people. Rey had hoped it could only accommodate two, so she and Poe could finally have some time to talk alone, but Rose and Finn didn’t seem too keen on being separated from them, so all four of them got into a cabin, and Rey decided to just enjoy the ride.

Rey looked outside the window. She wasn’t afraid of heights, and she certainly appreciated the view as they slowly made their way to the top. Finn pointed at all the other rides he wanted to try next, and Rey nodded, just as eager to try them.

The view from the top of the Ferris Wheel was absolutely breathtaking. She could see the entire fair, the lights, the colorful stalls, booths and rides, the hills in the distance, even the city. She was on top of the world and she was reminded why this was the ride she had most looked forward to.

After the Ferris Wheel came more rides—bumper cars, big top swinger, Goliath slide, carousel and several others Rey couldn’t name, each one more thrilling than the next. They even went to the Haunted Mansion, where Rey for once didn’t mind holding on to Poe’s hand while Rose and Finn clung to each other, screaming their heads off.

They later exited the Haunted Mansion, laughing as they did before they decided it was time for dinner. Poe once again had his arm over Rey’s shoulder as they went from stall to stall, buying corndogs, churros, burgers and sodas before heading to the picnic tables to eat. Rose and Finn surprised her with a four layer funnel cake, which they topped with whipped cream and a single candle in place of a birthday cake.

She’d already had a birthday cake of course, during breakfast with Ben as well as some of her favorite cookies and cream ice cream, as was their yearly tradition. She’d made a wish then, and she was making the same wish now as she blew out the candle of the funnel cake.

“What did you wish for?” Rose asked.

“It’s a secret,” Rey said with a smile. Even if she did tell them, they would never understand how her wish could involve her stepfather. “I’m famished. Let’s eat!”

Conversation flowed all throughout dinner. Rey had never eaten so much junk food in all her life, and she felt a tummy ache coming on so she stopped short of finishing her burger. Poe was more than willing to polish off her plate, and did so without much prompting.

“Careful, Poe,” Finn warned light-heartedly. “You keep eating Rey’s food like that and your abs will turn to flabs.”

“I don’t intend to lose my abs,” Poe said proudly, keeping an arm on the backrest behind Rey. “Besides, even if they do turn into flabs, I’m sure Rey wouldn’t mind.”

Rey frowned. “Why bring me into the conversation?”

“Because I value your opinion very much, Rey.” Poe grinned, then ran a finger on the side of her arm, making her shiver and pull away. Poe was getting a little too touchy for her taste. She had to find some way to tell him what she knew.

Thunder suddenly rumbled, and Rey looked up to see thick, dark clouds forming on the ever darkening skies.

“I think that’s our signal to leave,” Poe declared, looking at his watch as he did so. “It’s almost time to bring Rey home anyway. I’ll drive Finn and Rose home first, since their place is on the way.”

Rey nodded and stood up from her seat, as did everyone else. They then hurried out of the fair and back to Poe’s car, taking the same seats they did earlier.

It didn’t take long for them to arrive in Finn and Rose’s neighborhood, and Poe dropped the pair off before turning to the main road again with Rey.

Rey breathed out. They were finally alone.

“Poe...about your father...”

“You know, Rey, we’ve still got some time,” Poe cut in, turning the wheel. “There’s a special place I’d like to show you. Somewhere we can be alone.”

“But we’re already alone.”

Poe laughed. “Not on the road we’re not, with all these other cars and shit. So what do you say? It won’t take long. Think of this as my other birthday gift to you besides that bear.”

Rey stared at Poe’s profile. She couldn’t read his eyes, but there seemed to be a smile of anticipation in his lips.

“Okay, Poe,” she finally agreed, hugging the bear to her for comfort. They could use the privacy, she told herself, in light of what she was about to reveal.

Poe’s smile widened and he turned the car to a road that led uphill. There were barely any cars on this road, no houses at all, and the light from the street lamps revealed thick trees and vegetation on both sides of the path.

Then, Poe turned to another path, an unpaved dirt road which seemed to lead to nowhere until they emerged at the edge of the hill, the drop barricaded by a wooden fence. A single lamp post illuminated their surroundings, but what caught Rey’s eyes was what was beyond the horizon.

 Thousands upon thousands of lights from the city lit up the scene before her. She could make out the silhouettes of buildings dotted with lights from the windows, could see the moving lights on the roads as cars drove through the night, could see the lights from houses and street lamps below illuminating the darkness. It was a brilliant feast for the eyes, something she never imagined she would see.

“It’s so beautiful,” she gushed.

“Yeah...beautiful.” Poe cut off the engine then angled his body towards her, one hand resting on the headrest of her seat. “But not as beautiful as you, birthday girl.”

That brought Rey back to the present, and she turned to face Poe. “Poe, I—”

“Did I tell you you look sexy tonight?” Poe interrupted, his eyes wandering to her legs. “With that cute little pair of shorts? Did you dress up for me, Rey? You did, didn’t you?”

“N-no, I—”

She was cut off by the lips that fell on hers.

Poe’s lips.

Pressing against hers.

Poe was kissing her!

She quickly pushed him away, her back pressed against the car door.

Poe’s brows met with confusion. “What’s wrong, Rey?”

“That was...that was my first kiss,” Rey whispered in shock as every dream and hope she had of her first kiss—of experiencing it on the day she was to be married—came crashing down all around her, shattering like brittle glass.

“Oh yeah? I’m your first kiss?” Poe grinned widely, seemingly more excited than before. “Then let me give you your second.”

He moved his face towards her again but she quickly pushed him back by the shoulders.

“No, Poe!”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Poe...we could be siblings!”

That finally stopped his advance, though she still had to hold him back, his weight still bearing down on her. “What?”

“My mother had an affair with your father,” Rey blurted out. “He could be my father too. And you could be my half-brother!”

Poe stared at her for what seemed like the longest time. She expected him to sit back in astonishment, maybe to voice out his disbelief.

She didn’t expect the flat line of his lips to curl up into a sinister smile.

He laughed. “Oh sweet little Rey...don’t you think I know that?”

Rey blinked. “What?”

“Of course I knew your mother had an affair with my dad. That’s why my parents broke up. And you know what else?” Poe’s smile turned dangerous now. Threatening, and Rey found herself cowering further down in her seat. “You’re not my sister. Because your slut of a mother was already pregnant with you by the time she met my dad. I know because I saw them the first time they fucked.”

Rey’s eyes widened. She remembered now, remembered and realized too late that Annabelle had been pregnant before Ben even married her. Even before she met Kes Dameron.

“Do you want to know the details?” Poe went on, crawling to her so he was now looming over her. “How swollen her stomach was, how full her breasts were while my dad fucked her from behind in his office?”

“Stop!” Rey cried out. She tried to get away but Poe held her down fast. “Poe, please, I don’t want to hear more!”

“Do you want to know what it did to my mother, Rey?” His grip on her shoulders tightened, and she winced in pain as fingernails dug into skin. “My mother went insane. Eventually killed herself for it. And now, it’s payback time. Now, I get to fuck Annabelle Snoke’s sweet little girl.”

Rey’s breathing became frantic, panic setting in. “Poe, don’t!”

“Relax, Rey. You’ll enjoy it.” She could hear the clinking of a buckle, and she just new Poe was taking off his belt. “Your mother certainly did. I’ll turn you into a slut, just like her. Like mother, like daughter.”

She heard the unzipping of a zipper. Heard the shuffling of clothes as Poe shimmied out of his pants.

She couldn’t look. She knew what he had down there. Had experienced it once with Ben.

But he wasn’t Ben. There were no feelings of elation; no thrill to be had with Poe’s advances; only fear. And when his hands began fumbling with the button of her shorts, that was when Rose’s advice suddenly came back to her.

_“Some boys won’t take no for an answer, at which point you can kick him between his legs.”_

One hard kick upwards was all it took. One hard kick between his legs, and he jumped and hit his head on the car’s ceiling before falling back in his seat in agony. Rey twisted her body and opened the car door, stumbling out of the vehicle before running as fast as she could. Down the dirt path. Away from Poe. Away from the horrors her mother had wrought as lightning lit up the skies, and the heavens finally bore down on her with icy drops of rain. It would be the only thing to wash away the warm tears streaming down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that got dark. This is a dark fic after all...
> 
> Poe had always had an agenda. That he witnessed his father's betrayal had had an impact on him since his childhood, worse still after his mother killed herself because of the crumbling of her marriage. Annabelle has corrupted the lives of more than just Rey and Ben. How far will her curse on the family last?
> 
> Thanks for reading again guys. I think I have managed to pace myself in that I can probably update once every 2 days. Thing is though, next chapter is the last I've outlined. Anything after that is fair game, a new sandbox for me to play in so to speak so I'm also excited to know what will happen next (at least, after next chapter's chapter).


	20. WARMTH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben searches for Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting guys and thank you for the 20k hits on the 20th chapter! Hope you enjoy this one.

Ben drove slowly through the streets in his personal Lexus, squinting through the window to see if he could spot her. It was hard to see much of anything with all the rain pouring in, but he had to find her. The storm was also messing with the GPS signal from her phone, and he knew time was running out.

His blood continued to pound with equal parts anger and dread. He had been waiting outside the manor, worried as the rain poured in with no sign of that boy’s Mustang, when Rey suddenly called him, crying and asking to be picked up. She hadn’t told him what happened, but he knew something had, and all kinds of scenarios had run through his head, none of them good.

He turned to a fork in the road, checking his phone for her signal, thankful that he had had the sense to install a tracking app on her phone. Rey had said she had no idea where she was; only that she was at a bus stop somewhere.

One more turn on the road, and the signal led him straight to where she said she would be—at a lonely bus stop almost in the middle of nowhere. She was alone and shivering, her clothes pasted to her skin, her hair clinging to her face as she rocked herself back and forth, rubbing her shoulders with her hands.

He stopped the car in front of the bus stop and stepped out of the vehicle with an umbrella.

“Rey!”

She slowly looked up, and his eyes widened when he saw her face, an overwhelming sense of déjà vu washing over him. It had almost been exactly like this when he first met Annabelle—a stormy night, with her crying in the rain, so vulnerable yet so heartbreakingly beautiful.

But Rey was so much younger than Annabelle had been. Looked far more vulnerable that it nearly broke his heart when she called out his name.

“B-Ben...”

He didn’t know who ran first, but he soon found himself hugging Rey fiercely to him while she in turn clung to him almost in desperation, burying her sobs in his sweater.

“I’m s-s-sorry, B-Ben,” she cried. “Sh-should’ve gone with you. Sh-should’ve never g-gone with P-Poe.”

He looked around, his face darkening. There was no sign of that Dameron boy, which was just as well, he thought. He might end up with blood in his hands if he found him.

“Come,” he said after a time, leading her back to the car, his large hand on the small of her back. “Let’s get you home.”

Helping her to the backseat, Ben grabbed a jacket he had discarded on the floor and put it around Rey’s shoulders before he hurried back to the driver’s seat, turned the vehicle around and drove back towards the manor.

He revved up the engine, impatient to get home and yet careful with the wet, slippery roads, his eyes constantly looking at Rey from the rear view mirror. He couldn’t tell if she was shivering from the cold or from crying, but he knew he had to get her home and warmed up fast.

By the time they got back to Alderaan Manor, Rey had grown too weak to stand on her own, and he had to lift her up in his arms, holding her close as he braved the rain and hurried up the steps to the front door.

Threepio was there to open the door for them.

“Threepio, where’s Maz?” Ben asked, looking around the foyer to see if he could find the old servant.

“I believe you gave her the day off, Master Solo,” Threepio reminded, “so she could attend to some personal needs.”

Ben cursed inwardly. Rey was shivering something terrible in his arms. “Prepare some hot chocolate, Threepio, and bring it up to Rey’s room. Bring in some logs for the fireplace too. She’ll need to be warmed up quickly.”

“Yes, sir.”

Ben didn’t wait for the old butler to leave, and hastened up the stairs and into the hallways until he reached Rey’s room. He then carried her to the bathroom, where he had her sit on the closed toilet seat while he gently but quickly took off her shoes and peeled off every layer of her clothing until she sat naked before him.

For a moment, he was left dry-mouthed, unable to fathom how much she had grown in the span of weeks. He tried to be clinical about everything as he rubbed her down with a towel, patting her dry and pulling her hair loose of the ponytail, but his body had a strong response to seeing her budding breasts, the softening curves of her waist, and the collection of curls at the apex of her thighs.

Doing his best to clear his head of impure thoughts, he wrapped her up in the towel, went back to her room to grab the thickest nightgown he could find and helped her dress up, lifting her up a little so he could help her put on her underwear. She was still trembling by the time they were done that he had to carry her to bed and cover her with two thick comforters.

Threepio knocked and announced himself before entering, hot chocolate in one hand, logs in the other. Ben instructed him to put the hot chocolate on the nightstand and light the fireplace, which Threepio promptly did. Soon, the room warmed enough to Ben’s liking, and he dismissed the old butler.

After taking Rey’s temperature and finding it low, Ben paced the room and dialed the number to one of Rey’s doctors, Dr. Kalonia. Once she answered, he quickly explained the situation and the state he had found Rey in.

“She might have mild hypothermia,” Dr. Kalonia surmised. “You did the right thing getting her out of her wet clothes and covering her in blankets. Have her drink a hot beverage and monitor her temperature. Call me if anything changes.”

“Yes, doctor.”

Ben ended the call and strode towards the other side of the bed, where Threepio had left the hot chocolate. Gingerly, he had Rey sit up so she could drink. She shook her head weakly.

Gently, he said, “Come on, Rey. Take a sip. You need this.”

Rey looked at him then, eyes so glassy and red-rimmed before she blew on the cup and took long sips. Gone was the young woman who had left his doorstep only hours before. What came back was a frightened little girl, dazed and confused, and if she didn’t need him at that very moment, he would’ve torn the city looking for that Dameron boy so he could ram his head into a brick wall.

Rey sputtered, and Ben rubbed her back. Setting the cup aside, he laid her back down on the mattress and pulled the covers up to her neck. He was about to stand when she suddenly grabbed hold of his hand.

“D-d-don’t l-l-leave me, B-Ben...”

“I’ll come back, sweetheart,” he reassured her, the endearment slipping through his lips. The last time he had called her that, he had been on the phone, encouraging her to pleasure herself.

Quickly shaking away the recollection, he continued, “I just need to change out of these damp clothes and take a hot bath. I won’t be long.”

“P-Promise?”

“I promise.”

Rey let go then, and without thinking, Ben leaned over to kiss her forehead, his lips lingering before he realized what he was doing and pulled away. Rey didn’t seem to mind. If anything, she had pressed her forehead further against his lips, or at least he thought she did.

Tucking her in once more, he left her room for his and took off his clothes, relieved to find that his cock was beginning to soften. He thought it wouldn’t especially after he had seen her completely naked for the first time only moments before. At least now with his erection fading, he won’t have to subject himself to a cold shower. Not on this cold night.

After a quick hot shower in his bathroom, he put on a white shirt and a pair of pajama pants before making his way back to Rey’s room across the hall, where he found her still shivering under the covers.

“Rey?” He strode to her side and ran his knuckles against her cheek. Her skin was still cold to the touch.

“Y-Your hands...w-warm...” Rey stuttered through her chills, and Ben cupped her face with a palm, making her sigh with relief.

An idea wormed its way into his head. A small part of him refused, saying he wasn’t supposed to even be thinking about it but he told himself she needed this, and so he took off his shirt, slipped under the blankets beside her and gathered her into his arms until she was pressing her cheek to his chest, her small hands splayed on his back.

He grimaced a little. She was ice cold, each touch seeming to zap the warmth away from his body but she needed this, he thought. Needed as much warmth as she could get, and he was only more than willing to give.

He didn’t know when he fell asleep, or if he even did. He was in that strange place between sleep and awake, unable to notice the passage of time as he held her small body to his, and the next thing he knew, morning sunlight was pouring in from the windows, momentarily blinding his eyes with its brightness.

Blinking, he looked down and found Rey staring up at him. She was still pale, but at least her lips were no longer blue and she was no longer as cold as she was the night before.

Absently, he leaned over to kiss her forehead once more. He found it pleasing to do that, to be allowed to be this close to her after what seemed like an eternity of being at a distance that he didn’t know how he could have lived without her close to him. “How long have you been awake, sweetheart?”

“A while,” she answered, and he was relieved to find a blush rise up her cheeks. That meant her circulation was getting better.

“How are you feeling?” he went on, running his fingers through her hair. “Need anything? A hot soup? A drink?”

“No, I’m fine.” Her voice was so tiny, he could barely hear her. And he could sense she was afraid. Saw it in the way she cowered, the way her shoulders hunched inwardly, saw it in her eyes.

There was a haunted look in her eyes that unsettled him. Depressed and angered him.

“What happened out there?” he asked gently, and almost instantly, tears welled up in Rey’s eyes, and she began to cry in earnest.

“Rey, shhh, it’s okay.” Ben gathered her in his arms again, tucking her head beneath his chin as she sobbed into his neck. He could feel her hot tears on his skin, and he wanted nothing more than to skin Poe Dameron alive, yet at the same time, he couldn’t stop mentally kicking himself. If only he had known, if only he had acted on his instincts and not let her go, none of this would have happened.

After a time, Rey’s sobs turned into sniffles, and she said, “He...he kissed me, Ben. He stole my first kiss.”

Ben blinked as he searched her eyes. He remembered a long time ago, when she was but a child, when she had declared that she would only kiss once she got married. It had been a dream of hers, a naive one he had thought, but he knew she had held on to that dream for so long. And to have it all shattered like that...it made him want to hurt someone.

Still, he could sense there was far more under the surface, and in a low voice, he asked, “What else did he do?”

Rey’s sobs returned at full force. “He tried to...he tried to...h-have s-sex with me...but I kicked him and...I ran away...”

“It’s okay, Rey.” He held her to him again. He had suspected that something like that had happened ever since Rey called him, but he had hoped it wasn’t true. But it was now apparent that that was exactly what had occurred. His worst fears had come to light.

He shut his eyes tight. He didn’t think he would be able to take hearing more of the details but Rey was relentless in her revelations—from Poe not being her brother, to how he had wanted revenge because of what Annabelle had done to his family.

Everything led back to Annabelle, and Ben’s anger grew tenfold. It was because of her that her own daughter had had to suffer like this. How much poison was that dead woman going to bring into their lives?

Rey continued to sob and Ben did all he could to reign in his anger—anger towards Poe Dameron, anger towards Annabelle, anger towards himself. Rey didn’t need a man hell-bent on revenge right now. What she needed was comfort.

“You’re safe now,” he continued to assure her. “And your first kiss? He wasn’t able to steal it.” He pulled back so he could look into her eyes, framing her face in his large palms. “Your first kiss is the one you give willingly. You didn’t give it to him, right?”

She shook her head.

“Then, you still have your first kiss,” Ben concluded, giving her a small smile as he did. “And one day, you will give it to someone special to you. Do you understand?”

Rey didn’t nod. Or react. She seemed to have been frozen in her spot, her eyes locking with Ben’s as he continued to cup her face in his palms, their breaths mingling, their bodies heaving almost in unison.

Then, before Ben knew what was happening, Rey leaned forward and kissed him fully on the lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey kissed Ben. Le gasp! They finally have their first kiss after 20 chapters which actually included a bit of smut LOL but I had purposefully kept the kiss up until this moment, because it's going to be a kiss that would change their lives. How much, you'll have to wait and see in the next chapter.
> 
> On that note, sorry I had to end this on such a cliff hanger. I was supposed to continue but it already got too long so had to cut it here.
> 
> Thank you as always for reading guys, and for your thoughts and comments as well. Always do appreciate you leaving me a little nugget to read. Next two chapters have basically been written but I need to polish those first but I should post within the next two days. Until next time!
> 
> PS  
> I'd also like to thank my husband, Masayuki (pseud) for being my sounding board all throughout my writing process. I love you to the moon and back!


	21. KISS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gives Ben her first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sings in spider man theme* MIND THE TAGS, MIND THE TAGS ;)
> 
> Let's see where that kiss leads...

She kissed him. Kissed him the way she had wanted to for the longest time. Gave him what he said was her first kiss. Gave it willingly to someone special. Him.

It didn’t matter to her anymore that it wasn’t on a special day like her wedding. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t under better circumstances. What mattered to her was that he was here with her, in this moment, this man who had swooped down and saved her from the rain, took care of her and held her and made her feel safe, warm and protected again.

She didn’t think about the consequences of her actions. Didn’t care for them either. She knew what her heart wanted and she went for it. She would not regret this. Would not allow herself to.

Ben didn’t respond to the kiss. She didn’t expect him to as she pulled back to look at the stunned expression on his face.

He swallowed hard. “Rey...”

She put a finger to his lips and pleaded with him with her eyes. “Please don’t. I don’t want to regret this.”

She removed her finger from his lips, though allowed it to linger for a bit. Her eyes, she kept on his eyes, never letting go of his gaze.

“You should’ve given it to someone else,” he said after a time, and he sounded about as broken as he had when he had wished she was older. “I...I don’t deserve it.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be my choice to make?” Rey asked without a hint of animosity in her voice as she ran her hand across the side of his face. “Ben...I wanted you to be my first kiss. I...I think I always have. That’s why when Poe...” She trailed off when as a sob threatened to well up in her throat.

“He didn’t, alright?” Ben reminded, and put a hand on her cheek. “You just gave it to me. Poe...that meant nothing.”

Rey nodded. He was right. That kiss with Poe had meant nothing. Not like the kiss she had just given him. That...that had meant _everything_ , but she didn’t dare say it. She couldn’t. Not when this bubble they were in was so fragile, and yet, she dared to ask, “Can I kiss you again?”

Ben didn’t reply immediately. “I don’t think that’s wise.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not as great as you think I am, Rey,” he said in a grave tone, his eyes darkening. “If you kiss me again, I might not want to stop.”

“What if I don’t want you to?” Rey said, putting a hand over Ben’s where it lay on her cheek.

Ben shook his head. Rey could tell he was still fighting it, but his voice told her he was starting to break. “We can’t, Rey. You’re only thir...fourteen. I’m thirty three. I’ve already done enough damage to you.”

“Ben, can we just...pretend for once that I’m older?” Rey pleaded. “Pretend that circumstances were different? That we met at a different time, a different place...”

“Rey...”

“I want to forget,” Rey sobbed again, the tears flowing down her cheeks as images of Poe’s face—the hunger in his eyes, the menace in his smile—flashed before her eyes. “Please, Ben. Just for today. Make me forget.”

She saw Ben’s shoulders slacken and his features soften, his eyes shimmering in the morning light.

And when he gently moved to wipe her tears away, she just knew she had broken through.

Without another word, he pulled her into his embrace, cupping the back of her head as he pressed his plush lips to hers. She melted into his arms then, following his lead as he angled his head, his lips never once leaving hers, parting slightly to nibble on hers.

Rey felt the blood rush throughout her body as her heart hammered against her rib cage. The kiss was soft and gentle, a dance of lips on lips to music only they could hear. Warm breaths mingling, Ben continued to kiss Rey, to hold her body against his until a hunger began to take over her. A hunger for more.

She suddenly remembered what she had witnessed at the mall. With Rose and Finn.

Slowly, tentatively, she prodded Ben’s lips with her tongue, licking at the upper and lower lips before trying to wedge it in between. Ben stilled at first, but all too soon, he parted his lips to welcome hers, meeting her small tongue with his large one, moving it up, over and under, entwining it with hers.

What she had found gross when she first witnessed it, she now found to be far from it. This kiss was another first for her—far deeper and far more intimate than any of the few she had ever had. It reached deep into her, dangling her close to fainting but pulling her back at the last second. She felt her toes curl and soon, felt wetness pooling in between her legs.

She groaned into Ben’s mouth and arched her back so she could press her body closer to his, and that’s when she felt it—his erection. And it thrilled her that the kiss was affecting him too.

Ben slowly pulled back from the kiss, his eyes glazed as he looked at her, chest heaving with his heavy breaths.

“Wow, Ben...” Rey whispered, struggling to find the words, “That was...that was...”

“I know,” Ben whispered back, pressing his forehead against hers.

“All those times...we did what we did...” Rey said in between breaths, “...and you never kissed me. Why?”

Ben’s answer was not immediate, but when he did, he gazed at her with what looked almost like agony. “Because kissing makes me feel too much.”

Rey opened her mouth to ask him what he meant, but Ben never gave her the chance. His lips were on hers again, insistent and hungry as he moved his body over hers. It scared her at first, the memory of Poe looming over her still not leaving her thoughts, and she had to remind herself that this was not Poe, but Ben—big, strong, muscular Ben, who was now trailing kisses down the side of her neck.

“Are you still cold?” he mumbled.

“No.” Rey shook her head.

“Good,” he whispered into her skin before he sat up and pulled the covers off of them both, “because I’m going to take off your nightgown now...if that’s okay.”

Rey nodded, afraid to break the spell. She would have settled for a few kisses, but things were now heading beyond what she could have hoped for and she was desperate for it to continue.

With a few gentle tugs, Ben lifted her nightgown off of her, leaving her naked save for her panties.

Her first instinct was to cover herself, even though she could still remember how completely naked she had been in front of Ben only the night before, when he had helped her off her wet clothes. Her actions seemed to endear him however, making a smile light up on his face.

“No need to be shy with me, sweetheart.” He held her wrists tenderly and uncrossed her arms from her chest, his eyes now transfixed on her breasts. “Beautiful.”

“I’m sorry they’re so small,” she said in a small voice, looking away as she did.

“Don’t be. They’re perfect...” he cooed and leaned down to take one of her breasts into his mouth while kneading the other with his large hand. Rey bit her lip, embarrassed by the sounds coming out of her lips. “Don’t hold yourself back, sweetheart. It’s just us now.”

That was enough to make Rey moan out loud, and she grabbed the sides of her pillow as Ben trailed a hand from her breast, down the flat of her stomach, and into her panties.

She hissed when she felt his fingers on her clit once more, circling and rubbing it until she could feel it throb. He stopped unexpectedly, and she watched as he moved between her legs, tracing the wet spot on her panties with a finger. She whimpered.

“I want to see you, Rey,” he said softly, still rubbing the spot where her clit was. “I want to see all of you. May I?”

She wasn’t sure what he meant, and it was only when she saw him hook his thumbs into the waistband of her panties that she understood. “B-Ben...”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he assured, and unhooked his thumbs from her underwear. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

That touched Rey more than she ever thought it could. She wanted to please him. Wanted so much for him to be happy that she slowly nodded her approval, and he once again gave her that smile which warmed her heart.

Gingerly, he took off her panties, sliding them down her legs and setting them aside. Rey squeezed her thighs together. She was completely naked in front of Ben, but unlike the night before, this wasn’t borne out of necessity, and she felt herself blush furiously when Ben wouldn’t stop staring at her special place.

“Such a beautiful pussy you have, Rey.” Ben encouraged her legs to open up before he reached down to part her labia with his thumb and forefinger. “So pink and wet for me...”

“P-Pussy?” Rey repeated the word.

“Another word for your vagina,” Ben explained patiently, his eyes still transfixed on her...pussy. “Another word is cunt.”

Growing self-conscious from all his attention, Rey put her hands on her face, parting her fingers a little so she could still see him. “Don’t look at it so much. It’s embarrassing.”

“Nothing to be embarrassed about, baby girl,” Ben chuckled. “If it makes you feel better, I can get naked too.”

“Wha—Ben? I—”

She couldn’t even finish her sentence. Ben had been too quick to take off his pajamas, and before her sprang the first real penis she had ever seen in her entire life.

 _Monstrous_ was the word that came to mind as her eyes took it in—the mushroom-like head which was almost an angry purple, the veins which throbbed along its length. The pictures in her anatomy book didn’t prepare her for such a sight, and she could do nothing but gape at it, gasping when she saw it twitch. It was so huge, how would it ever fit inside her?

“Rey?” Ben asked, concerned.

“Your penis is so big!” Rey exclaimed, sitting up a little and propping herself up with her hands. “I...I can’t fit that inside me.”

Ben almost laughed. He seemed very happy, and despite her initial fears of his penis, she was very pleased to see a constant smile on his face. “Call it a cock, sweetheart. And you flatter me, but we’re not going to have sex.”

All the tension left Rey’s shoulders. “What are we going to do?”

“Just make each other feel good,” Ben mumbled, then crawled on top of her to kiss her again, “And make you forget...”

Rey moaned into his mouth. She could feel the underside of his...cock...brushing against her clit, and she felt herself grow wetter. Her body wanted it, wanted to be filled up by him, to be full of him, but she was still too scared. Ben must’ve sensed it because he drew his cock away and planted soft, reassuring kisses down her throat and to her belly before he settled himself between her thighs. She could feel his hot breath on her pussy, and she looked down to stare at him questioningly. She was about to ask what he was going to do when he suddenly plunged his tongue between her pussy lips, fluttering it against her clit.

Rey threw her head back and almost shrieked. It was as if her whole spine was being electrified, and she arched her back, her hands grabbing Ben’s head and clawing at his hair as he lapped up her juices.

“B-Ben...th-that’s d-dirty down there!” she managed to breathe out between gasps, even as she didn’t want him to stop. Oh God, it felt too good.

She felt rather than saw Ben smile, and he continued his attentions on her clit, sucking, kissing and licking until she was left weak-kneed. She felt him open his mouth wide to take all of her in, felt his lips moving over the entirety of her pussy and suckle it as though he were a man dying of a thirst that only she could quench.

Then, in one swift move, he slipped his tongue inside her.

Rey could only gasp. She had never had anything inside her pussy before, and she never imagined it would be Ben’s tongue wriggling in there first. It far from filled up the emptiness inside of her, but it sent a thrill up and down her spine nonetheless, especially when he moved a thumb to toy with her clit while he continued to plunder her pussy with his tongue.

Ben’s ministrations continued, and Rey’s moans became shriller and shriller as she felt that pressure...that lovely pressure build up in her tummy, until she finally snapped and screamed, the sensations rolling around in waves, making her whole body seize before the last of the sensations faded away, and she was left breathing heavily on her mattress, legs splayed and with Ben still latched on to her.

With one last kiss to her still sensitive clit, Ben knelt between her legs and began furiously stroking the length of his cock. Rey watched in awe as the head seemed to grow darker in color, her eyes widening when Ben let out a shout, his cock spewing white, gooey liquid over her pussy, her stomach, her breasts.

Without thinking, she reached out and took some of the liquid in her fingers, moving it in front of her face so she could examine it. It smelled almost like bleach, but with a musk that was undeniably Ben.

As though he read the questions in her face, Ben said, “That, my dear, is semen, though it’s usually just called cum.”

“Semen?” Rey recalled the term from her anatomy book. She had a pretty good memory of that book’s contents, and in a small voice, asked, “Did we just...make a baby?”

Ben smiled. He seemed to be doing that a lot more lately. “No, sweetheart. You only make a baby when you have actual sex. What we were doing was just making each other feel good, though it won’t stop us from having an orgasm.”

“Orgasm?” Rey questioned.

“My sweet innocent angel,” Ben mumbled as he took his discarded pajama pants and began wiping the cum off her body. “It’s when you reach the peak of sexual pleasure. You know that intense feeling you get after we do this, like there’s an explosion within you? That’s an orgasm.”

Rey nodded in understanding. “You’ve taught me a lot today, Ben.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Ben crawled to her side and kissed her on the lips again. “I still have a lot to teach you, if you’ll let me.”

“I’ll let you,” she said quickly, earning her another kiss from Ben.

“My baby girl...so eager...”

They stayed that way for a while, lazily kissing and touching each other until Ben stopped.

“I think it’s time for breakfast. All this excitement has made me hungry,” he declared and stood up from bed before leaning over to scoop her up in his arms like she weighed nothing. “But first, I think a nice warm bath is in order.”

Rey giggled as Ben carried her to the bathroom. Bathing with Ben would be another first for her, and she began to wonder what else he would be able to teach her. It was all that filled her thoughts now—no more bad memories from Poe Dameron; just good ones from Ben Solo and all the other possibilities in store for them.

She could hardly wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo! Ben finally broke and gave in. Told you that kiss would change everything. So what comes next? All I'm saying is that we're now back on board the smut train ;)
> 
> As always, thank you dear readers for continuing to join me on this journey. Wouldn't be able to continue without your presence, the kudos, the bookmarks, the subscriptions and most especially the comments.
> 
> Next chapter should post within 1-2 days as well if everything goes according to plan. Thanks again for reading!


	22. DADDY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben teaches Rey something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Choo choo SMUT TRAIN chugging down the tracks! I needed to update early you guys, as I will be traveling today via plane to my hometown. Wish it were under better circumstances. Will tell you more at the end notes. In the meantime, hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as the previous one. Check the title, check the tags for a clue ;)

Ben couldn’t have imagined how things would end up. Not even twenty four hours ago, he had been distraught, felt murder run in his veins and now...now he could feel nothing but tenderness as he and Rey shampooed each other’s hair in the tub, lathering until their heads were a crown of white foam.

Rey giggled and rubbed her hands together with the foam before blowing into her cupped hands to make a bubble. She made a big one before it popped, and the smile on her face dazzled him with its brightness. Even though she was a teenager, she was still very much a kid, but he couldn’t allow himself to feel guilty over it anymore. In the last few hours, he had finally come to accept what he had always known—that he wanted to be with her, to bask in her presence, to enjoy her smiles, her laughter, her company—he wanted her, and as soon as he had accepted that, he felt the heaviness that had been in his chest for weeks lift away, and he could finally breathe. With her, he finally felt alive.

Ben leaned over to kiss her on the nose. What he and Rey had was nothing like what he had with Annabelle. Annabelle was like wildfire—all consuming, destructive. She dominated him, manipulated him, introduced him to the ways of the flesh and left him begging for more. Rey was more of a candlelight—soft and inviting...and dare he say romantic. He wanted nothing more than to nurture her, to show her what she could become. The fire she had in her didn’t consume but enlightened, and like a moth, he was drawn to its warmth. He couldn’t stay away anymore.

But it was still so new, so fragile what they had that he knew he had to tread lightly. The world would never understand and even a part of him remained adamant that he should not be going into this...relationship with her. But there was no going back from this, he thought. And he didn’t want to. After years of being alone, and weeks of agony, he wasn’t going to deny himself anymore.

Kissing her had changed everything. He wasn’t lying when he said he avoided kissing her because he felt too much. A single kiss from Annabelle had turned him into a goner. With Rey, however, things seemed more intense, the feelings in his chest overwhelming him to the point of fright, but he had finally gained the courage to face it and accept it.

He took the showerhead and rinsed the shampoo off their hair. Once done, he rose to his feet and stepped out of the tub, ready to get the towel when he caught Rey staring at him.

In particular, she was staring at his now flaccid cock.

“Are all penises as big as yours?” she asked from the tub, and he felt his ego do somersaults.

“Penises come in all shapes and sizes. And let’s call it cock, sweetheart.”

“Cock,” she repeated, and he felt himself stir. He always did find the less clinical terms hot, and it was hotter coming from Rey’s lips.

Rey stepped out of the bath tub, dripping in all her naked glory, her eyes never leaving his cock. “It looks less scary like that. I...I think it can fit in me now.”

Oh God, he thought. She was still thinking about sex. “Baby girl, it can’t go in unless it’s erect. Otherwise, it’s just soft and floppy.” He considered her for a moment, saw the curiosity in her face and asked, “Would you like to touch it?”

Rey looked at him then, surprise and excitement in her eyes as she considered his offer before she finally nodded.

He had her sit on the closed toilet seat before he presented himself to her. If she were standing or kneeling, their height difference would have made it difficult for her to be comfortable while examining him closely, so her sitting was the best option.

Gingerly, she reached out and encircled her fingers around his cock. Ben let out a guttural groan.

“Does it feel good when I touch it?” Rey asked, gently moving her hand up and down his length, mimicking what he had done to himself earlier before he came all over her stomach.

“Y-Yes, baby girl. Feels good.” He could barely get the words out. She wasn’t practiced by any stretch of the imagination, but the fact that it was her hand around him made it so erotic. “Squeeze a little, but not too hard. Move your hand up and down. A little faster. Yes, that’s it.”

He continued to encourage her as he watched her, watched as her beautiful face scrunched up in concentration while she pleasured him, watched as her hazel eyes widened when his cock hardened.

“It’s big and hard again,” Rey declared, this time stroking his length with both hands.

“That’s because you made me aroused, baby girl.”

“Aroused?”

“Sexually excited,” he explained patiently, then licked his lips as he asked, “Can you kiss it for me?”

The look of disgust on her face should have made him recoil. Instead, it made him laugh. He had half-expected that reaction. Otherwise she wouldn’t be Rey. “It’s not so bad, sweetheart. I kissed your pussy and I turned out fine.”

“Would it make you feel good if I kissed it?” she asked, hands still moving up and down his stiff cock.

“Yes,” Ben groaned. “Yes, it would.”

Rey was still hesitant to try it, but after a while, she moved her face forward and planted a chaste kiss on the tip.

Ben moaned. He wanted to feel more of those lips. “Kiss it deeply, baby. Part your lips for me and use your tongue on it.”

Rey did as she was told, opening her mouth part way to accommodate the head while running her tongue along the underside of it. Ben swore under his breath as she clamped her lips down on him a little, the delicious thrill of it leaving him wanting to feel more, needing to feel more.

He cupped her face and had her look up at him, and the sight of her staring at him while the tip of his cock was enveloped in her mouth almost sent him over the edge. “Sweetheart, you want Daddy to feel good, right?”

He had only referred to himself as ‘Daddy’ once, and like before, he was too lust-addled to care about the implications. Rey nodded, his cock bouncing a little in her mouth and he shivered.

“Okay...I want you to open your mouth wide and suck on Daddy’s cock,” he growled, and not even a second later, she accommodated him, allowing him to push more of his cock inside her mouth, and he relished in the luscious sensations enveloping him. “Th-that’s it. No teeth, baby girl. Hollow your cheeks and suck it.”

Rey was only too eager to oblige, only too eager to please him, and he felt himself sink further into pleasure, though he stopped half way, not wanting to choke her.

“Don’t stop sucking, sweetheart, and don’t forget to breathe through your nose,” he instructed as he held her head and slowly began moving his hips back and forth, chasing her damp warmth. “Fuck, Rey, your mouth feels so good...”

Her mouth was warm, wet and inviting—the closest thing he could get to her pussy, and it drove him crazy. He hadn’t had a blowjob in so long that it all felt so new to him, and he had to restrain himself from just fucking her mouth senseless. He didn’t want to scare her with his ardour, and so he continued to thrust gently until he found a good rhythm, and Rey bobbed her head in time with his thrusts.

“You’re doing so good, baby girl,” he cooed. “So good for me, ah...I’m going to cum soon...”

He hastened his thrusts, careful not to push too deeply into Rey’s mouth as he chased after that electrifying friction. She could barely take him half way after all, and her mouth was stretched to its limit.

With one last push, he unleashed himself into her, and she felt him hold on to his hips fast as he came down her throat, euphoria making him unable to speak except in groans. He felt his knees tremble when Rey continued to suck, and he had to pull away lest he be drained of all he had.

He chucked her chin up with a thumb and forefinger, wiping away the streak of cum trickling down the corner of her lips. “Did you drink all of Daddy’s cum baby?”

Rey nodded, then grimaced a little. “It tasted a bit bitter.”

“You did wonderfully, sweetheart.” He knelt down and kissed her on the lips, tasting himself on her tongue. He would not allow her to regret this.

“Did I really do good...Daddy?” Rey asked shyly, and if he hadn’t just had an amazing orgasm, Ben thought he might grow hard again right there and then.

“Really good.” He smiled and kissed her again. “Now it’s Daddy’s turn...”

He settled himself between her legs and parted them, exposing the glistening pink of her pussy, and it pleased him when he saw how wet she was. “Did sucking Daddy’s cock make you wet, baby? That’s so precious...”

He dove in and began licking her clit in earnest, making her moans echo throughout the bathroom. He rearranged her so now she had both legs over his shoulders, giving him better access to her dripping cunt.

Once he had had his fill of her juices, he made his first attempt at penetrating her with a finger.

Rey’s reaction was almost instant, jerking back and looking at him in astonishment. “Ben!”

“It’s okay, baby girl, it’s okay,” he reassured, kissing her clit and running his nose across her dark curls. “Daddy just wants to show you something...make you feel good...”

He pulled back a little so he could see his forefinger enter her slick folds, and he felt her inner walls tighten around the digit. She was so small, so tight, yet so wet that his finger easily slid in and out, and soon, Rey’s grimace turned into a look of utmost bliss as he searched and found a spot that made her moan louder.

He tried a second finger next, stretching her out little by little, though careful not to push too far. He didn’t want to deflower her at that moment. Not with his fingers anyway. “How does it feel, sweetheart?”

“F-Full...” Rey manage to croak. “Stings a little...when you stretch me like that...but feels good...”

Ben smiled and used his other hand to toy with Rey’s clit while his two fingers plunged in and out of her, and not for the first time, he wished it was his cock ramming inside her tight little pussy instead.

He continued with his attentions, alternating from thumbing her clit to licking it, all the while moving his fingers in and out of her folds. Rey continued to moan incessantly, until she finally cried out in ecstasy, her body trembling as her orgasm rocked through her.

With a wolfish grin, Ben took out his fingers and licked them clean, making sure that Rey watched him as he did. Her cheeks were a bright pink now—perhaps from embarrassment, perhaps from the afterglow of their activities and he stared at her for a while, marveling at how beautifully spent she looked.

“You were amazing, sweetheart,” he continued to praise her, and she smiled back, only too happy to receive the praise. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up and we’ll head down for breakfast.”

Towelling himself down and then her, they both exited Rey’s bedroom in long silk sleeping robes, walking hand in hand as they trekked to the dining room, letting go only when Threepio came in with the meals.

Breakfast consisted of Hungarian sausages and eggs with a side of mixed vegetables. Rey made a joke of rearranging her food so now the sausage was flanked by two eggs in what was clearly phallic imagery and Ben had to make her rearrange her food quickly before Threepio came in again.

“It’s not as big as yours though, Daddy,” Rey giggled, poking at her sausage and Ben felt himself grow red in the face.

“Sweetheart,” he said gently, putting a tender hand on hers, “You don’t call me ‘Daddy’ out in the open, okay? It’s just between you and me.”

“Okay Da—I mean Ben,” Rey grinned, and proceeded to eat her food.

They spent the rest of that Sunday together, this time in Ben’s bedroom, discovering and exploring each other in the privacy of its walls, coming out only to eat before losing themselves in each other again. It was as if all their pent up hunger for each other had finally been given a chance at being satiated, and they couldn’t get enough. It got so Rey skipped school the next day, and Ben took a day off of work just so they could be together a day more. Rey even had to turn off her phone to avoid the constant calls from Rose and Finn.

Ben was particularly careful to reign himself in. With every kiss, every touch, every caress, he was getting dangerously close to claiming all of her when he knew she wasn’t ready. Not yet. And he had to remind himself that if that day were to come, that it had to be special. It had to be perfect. It wouldn’t be like the night he lost his virginity to Annabelle, where all she did was take and take and take. With Rey, it would be different. He would give as much as take, and she would do the same.

“I don’t want this day to be over,” Rey mumbled into his chest as she lay on top of him, her sweat mingling with his as the last vestiges of their recent orgasm faded away. “I don’t even want to go to school tomorrow. I just want to spend all week with you.”

“Sweetheart, you know I have work to do. And you already missed school today.” He tucked her hair behind her ear as had become his habit and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “Don’t worry. Friday will come soon enough and I’ll still be here, waiting ‘til you get back.”

“But...”

“But what?”

“I...I can’t face Poe.”

He looked at her then, saw the fear evident in her face and he felt his blood curdle. What Dameron did had traumatized Rey, and he once again entertained fantasies of the violent kind involving that boy.

“You have nothing to be afraid of, Rey,” he reassured, staving off his anger and running his fingers through her brown strands. “I can drop you off at school tomorrow. We can face him together.”

That made Rey prop herself up on his chest. “You’re not going to hurt him, are you?”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt him...too much.”

“Ben.”

Ben sighed. “Tell you what. Why don’t I talk to the headmistress? I could file a formal complaint.”

“Are you sure that’s okay?” Rey frowned. “I don’t want any trouble.”

“Dameron invited trouble the moment he touched you,” Ben said sternly before his features softened. “Trust me on this, sweetheart. I’ll take care of everything.” He paused for a moment, looked deep into her eyes and whispered, “I’ll take care of you.”

Rey smiled, and he felt himself melt all over again. He would take care of her, he thought, and this time, it would no longer be because of the promise he had made to her dead mother. He would take care of her because he truly wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut train is still chugging along nicely but what is that up ahead? A dark tunnel? What could be in store for us? You'll have to wait to find out.
> 
> In the meantime, like I said, I had to update early because I will be traveling to my hometown. Sadly, a cousin very dear to me has died and I will be attending the funeral. Sorry to go dark on you guys, but it was so unexpected. He was so young :( I won't be back until Tuesday but I'll be bringing my laptop with me so I can continue to write. Don't worry about me, as writing this is actually working as a coping mechanism. I need the escape.
> 
> I haven't finished writing the next chapter after this so there might be a break between updates. Hope you guys understand.
> 
> Meantime, please do sound off your comments below. Always enjoy reading them. It lifts up my spirits so thank you! Until the next update!


	23. SLUT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns to school. Things have changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for patiently waiting dear readers and thank you for your kind understanding during this difficult time. 
> 
> This was supposed to be two separate chapters but since there's only one recurring theme (see the title) I decided to fuse it into one chapter so this is a pretty long read.
> 
> This will start out hot....let's see how long it lasts.

Rey bit her fist to keep herself from moaning. It was Tuesday morning, and the servants were already up and about. She herself was supposed to already be in the car a while ago, but instead, she was in Ben’s study, back pressed against the door, one leg hooked over his shoulder as he, in his own words, ‘ate her out’.

Ben was insatiable. It wasn’t enough that they had spent two whole days in each other’s arms and slept on the same bed, but he just had to have her while she was wearing her school uniform and he in his suit. He had always wanted to do this, he had said, ever since he first saw her in uniform, and Rey had only been too eager to oblige.

Her eagerness however, had caused her to be late for class. Caused him to be late for work. At the moment though, she didn’t care. All she wanted was to chase that high with him, to climb up to the heavens until they both crashed back to earth.

It was the last time they would be able to do this until she came back from boarding school on Friday.

One more lick, and Rey came undone, almost drawing blood as she continued to bite her hand to muffle her cries. Once she finished, Ben emerged from under her skirt, lips coated with her slick as he stood up and unzipped his pants, freeing his throbbing cock to her.

She knew what she had to do.

Kneeling before him, she held his cock in place and sucked on it, moving her head back and forth as she took his length in her mouth, tasting the salt in his skin.

“Fuck, baby girl, you’re getting good at this,” Ben whispered, his face contorted in bliss, his hands carding her hair. “Mmm...you’re gonna make me cum.”

If Rey could smile, she would have. There was something so powerful about sucking Ben off. Maybe it was because he was at her mercy. Maybe it was because she was the one giving him pleasure. Or maybe both. Whatever the case may be, she had grown to enjoy doing it, even found herself titillated by it.

It didn’t take long for Ben to spill forth inside her, and she allowed the warmth of his cum to slide down her throat as she sucked every last drop he could give. Once he finished, he grabbed her off the floor and kissed her torridly, exploring her mouth with his tongue until he was left breathless.

“There. That should tide us over ‘til you get back,” he said in between breaths after he had ended the kiss. Zipping himself up again, he walked over to the desk to grab a box of tissues, picking up Rey’s discarded panties along the way. “Clean yourself up, sweetheart. Can’t have you smelling like cum in school.”

Rey did as she was told, wiping the slick from between her legs, after which Ben helped her put her panties back on. After straightening her hair and uniform, she took a peek outside the study, making sure there was nobody around.

“Coast is clear,” she declared and opened the door. She and Ben quietly slipped out of the study and hurried out of the house where they found Artoo waiting in the Benz.

“You’ll text me won’t you?” Ben asked as they got into the backseat, and Artoo drove off. Rey almost rolled her eyes with a smile. As if she wouldn’t communicate with him after all this, she thought.

“Of course I will. I’ll even call,” she assured, then took out her phone and looked at the black screen in confusion until she remembered she had forgotten to turn it back on after she had shut it off to stop Rose and Finn from calling her.

She turned on the phone and almost immediately after the boot up sequence, her inbox blew up with text messages and voicemail, all from Rose and Finn. Nearly all of the messages were from Monday, when she had skipped class.

 

> **_Finn_ ** _  
> Rey, where are you? Not going to class today?_
> 
> **_Rose_ ** _  
> You okay, Rey? You missed class._
> 
> **_Finn_ ** _  
> You’re not sick are you?_
> 
> **_Rose_ ** _  
> Been trying to call but can’t seem to reach you. Hope you’re okay._
> 
> **_Finn_ ** _  
> Rey, Rose and I need to talk to you. Please answer._
> 
> **_Rose_ ** _  
> Rey, answer your phone please._

Then, there were messages from earlier that morning.

 

> **_Finn_ ** _  
> Hey, Rey, we really need to talk_
> 
> **_Rose_ ** _  
> Classes are about to start. Where are you?_
> 
> **_Finn_ ** _  
> Are you going to be absent today too? Please call us._
> 
> **_Rose_ ** _  
> Rey, I didn’t want to say this over text. I was hoping to be able to talk to you first, but Poe’s been saying a lot of stuff about you and what happened last Saturday. Is it true?_

It was that last message from Rose that took Rey from her earlier exhilaration to sudden dread. She tried to call Rose, but it led to voicemail, and she imagined her friend was probably still in class.

She fired back a message.

> **_Rey_ ** _  
> On my way to school. Was sick yesterday. What did Poe say about me?_

She waited for a reply. And waited. And waited. She began fidgeting in her seat, willing for the message notification to chime but it didn’t, and with each passing moment, the dread loomed larger and larger.

She felt Ben’s hand on hers, and it brought her back to the present. “Rey? Are you alright?”

She stared at the genuine concern in his face, and she wondered if she should tell him. Then again, she wasn’t sure yet what Rose was talking about. She didn’t want him to worry needlessly.

“It’s nothing, Ben.” She moved her hand so now she had her fingers were entangled with his. She didn’t want to lie entirely, so she added, “I’m just worried about this whole situation with Poe.”

“Don’t be. I told you. I’ll take care of it.” She saw him look at the back of Artoo’s head for a moment before quickly pulling her hand up to kiss her knuckle.

Rey blushed. Ben lowered their hands, keeping them at his side. They both had been careful not to be overly affectionate with one another in front of the servants, but there were just times like these when they would try to steal a moment or two, and Rey found it both endearing and exciting.

Momentarily forgetting about Poe, she asked, “Did you miss a lot of things at work yesterday?”

“Not much,” Ben replied, caressing her knuckle with a thumb. “I mean, there’s that supplier that’s trying to undermine us, but my assistant was able to handle things without me. Which is good. I was also supposed to meet with a potential client, but I had it moved for later today. If all goes well, it could be lucrative for us...”

Ben talked more about his work, and though Rey had only the barest knowledge of the inner workings of Solo Shipping Enterprises, she nodded at appropriate times, asked questions when she could, and listened to what he had to say. She could tell he was passionate about his job, just as he was passionate about other aspects in his life.

Seeming to catch himself, Ben apologized, “I’m sorry. All this talk about work must be boring to you.”

“No, not at all.” Rey squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I like listening to you and hearing about what you do at work. You seem to really love your job.”

“Not always,” Ben chuckled. “As with everything else, it has its ups and downs. I used to really hate it. My parents raised me to take over one day when all I wanted to do was travel and explore the world. Then they died and I was suddenly forced to step in. I had to learn to love it otherwise the company would sink. I didn’t want the legacy of my parents to crash and burn under my hands.”

Rey thought about what he had just said for a moment. “So if your parents hadn’t died...you would have traveled the world?”

“I probably would have,” Ben sighed, and Rey sensed the longing in his voice. “I was so cooped up at home and later at school that I just wanted to break free from all that. Gain new experiences. See new things. I had it all planned out. But life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to. In the end, the only trip out of country I ever went to was that honeymoon trip to the Maldives with Annabelle...”

The atmosphere in the car suddenly turned somber at the mention of Annabelle, and Ben stared off contemplatively.

Curious, Rey asked, “What was Mother like?”

Ben looked at her with shadowed eyes. “You already know what your mother was like, Rey.”

“Yes, but I’ve yet to hear it from you,” Rey pointed out. “I’m just curious as to what drew you to her...how you two met.”

Ben stared at her for the longest time before turning away. It looked to Rey like he was going to cut off the conversation right there, so she was surprised when he continued. “I met her around fourteen years ago. She was nineteen. I was twenty, and still grieving the deaths of my parents. I was walking along the city bridge on a stormy night when I saw her crying in the rain. I thought she was going to jump and I stopped her. We talked. I took her home and one thing led to another and...” he trailed off, and Rey released the breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Without looking at her, Ben pressed on. “She came at a dark time in my life. I was vulnerable. Naive and foolish. I believed Fate brought us together. When she told me she was pregnant with my child...I had never been happier. I thought I would finally have another family after losing mine.” He smiled ruefully. “You know how that turned out. In the end...I despised her. Not only for what she did to me, but for what she’s doing to you.”

Rey bit her lip. It was a reminder of how Annabelle’s actions had led to her encounter with Poe, and the dread she had felt earlier from Rose’s text message returned.

 Still, she soldiered through it, wanting the conversation with Ben to continue. “You must’ve loved her once. Enough to marry her.”

“I loved the image she projected,” Ben corrected, a faraway look in his eyes. “I didn’t see the person underneath the mask until it was too late.”

“And...what image did she project?”

“Kind. Innocent. Loyal. But it was all an illusion, meant to snare me into her schemes.” This time, Ben turned to look at Rey, his eyes on hers as he whispered, “But you’re not an illusion...are you, Rey?”

There was such pleading in his voice; a need for validation, and Rey was more than willing to give it. “I’m real, Ben.”

They stared at each other in silence then, hands still intertwined, and if Artoo weren’t there, Rey was certain Ben would’ve kissed her. She could see it in the way his gaze fell on her lips, the way his Adam’s apple bobbed with a swallow, the way he leaned in closer until their shoulders touched. But she knew they had to control themselves, and so she straightened back in her seat, though her hand remained clasped in his.

He squeezed her hand three times. She squeezed back.

They passed the rest of the ride in companionable silence. By the time they got to Raddus Hall, it was nearing second period, and students were beginning to file out of classrooms, heading out for the next ones. Reluctantly letting go of Ben’s hand, Rey stepped out of the vehicle with him and entered the school building while Artoo handled the luggage.

“I’ll go talk to the headmistress first,” Ben said. “In the meantime, go lead Artoo to your room. I’ll catch up.”

Ben looked around before planting a kiss on her forehead. She watched him head out into the hallways, admiring the view from behind. She found that she liked that his pants were a little on the tight side.

Catching herself, she walked along the hallways with Artoo, passing other students from various grade levels.

She slowed down. Something strange was going on. It seemed like every other student was looking at her funny, with some of them whispering and pointing. She recognized some of those students to be in the same year as Poe, as she had seen him hang out with them at times. Others were from her year.

_“Isn’t that her?”_

_“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s her.”_

_“Oh my God, but she’s so young!”_

_“I can’t believe she actually did it.”_

Rey frowned and looked around. The students looked away guiltily, resuming their whispers once she started walking again.

 “Rey?”

Rey turned and saw Rose walking tentatively towards her, books hugged to her chest. She found it strange since Rose was usually a bundle of energy, running towards her and often excitedly pulling her into a tight hug.

“Rose, what’s wrong?” Rey looked around. Other students were still glancing her way. “Why does it feel like everybody’s looking at me?”

Rose tightened her lips. Instead of answering, she said, “Rey...I’ve been trying to call you all day yesterday. Where were you?”

“I texted you. I was sick.” Rey did her best to appear truthful. “Why? Did something happen?”

Rose stared at her in silence, and Rey couldn’t tell if that was a worried expression on her face or a pitying one. With a sigh, Rose turned to Artoo. “Can you excuse us for a minute, sir?”

Artoo nodded, and Rose pulled Rey into a quiet corner by the bulletin boards.

“Rey...I’m not going to beat around the bush so I’ll just straight up say it.” Rose took a deep breath and whispered, “Poe’s been telling everyone who will listen that you two had sex in his car last Saturday at Lookout Point. Is that true?”

Rey’s jaw dropped. She blinked at Rose, unable to believe what she was hearing, and it took a while for her to respond. “He...he told everyone that?”

“In more crude words, yes,” Rose confirmed, holding her books tighter to her chest. “He even said it was you who came on to him and that you were very insistent.”

“That’s not true!” Rey finally exclaimed, her voice shrill. “He was the one who tried to...he was the one who kissed me and tried to...”

“Rey, calm down,” Rose tried to placate her but Rey was too distraught.

“He tried to force himself on me!” Rey cried out, tears now prickling at the corners of her eyes. Poe had betrayed her trust that night and now this? “He tried to force me, but I kicked him and escaped.” She paused, waiting for Rose to respond but she didn’t. “Rose. You believe me, right?”

“I told Poe that you would never do what he said you did. Finn said the same thing,” Rose finally said, then lowered her eyes. “But I just can’t see Poe forcing himself on anyone, least of all you. He likes you.”

“Likes me?” Rey repeated. Everything from that night—everything Poe did and said—it all came back to her, and like a dam unleashed, Rey spilled out the truth. “He hates me! He hates me because my mother had an affair with his father and his mother killed herself for it.”

That stunned Rose. Rey felt her shoulders heave with her breaths as she watched her friend absorb what she had just revealed.

After a time, Rose said, “Rey...don’t you think that’s a little...convoluted?”

“You don’t believe me,” Rey said in disbelief and took a few steps back.

“I’m not saying I don’t believe you,” Rose defended. “It’s just that...why would Poe even hate you for something you didn’t do?”

“Because he’s crazy, that’s why!” Rey shrieked. Already they were attracting the attention of others but she didn’t care. She was too hurt from Rose’s apparent lack of belief in her. “I can’t believe you’re even defending him after what he did to me!”

“Rey, I’m not defending him. I’m—”

Rey didn’t let Rose finish her sentence. She simply turned and stomped away to the direction of the dormitories, Artoo hurrying to follow her. She was fuming and hurting all at the same time, and she wiped away the angry tears running down her cheeks. How could Rose do this to her? How could she not believe her?

Still seething, she started for the steps of a staircase when she bumped into a girl coming down the stairs. She muttered her apologies when the girl exclaimed, “Well, if it’s isn’t little miss slut.”

She knew that voice. She rarely heard it but knew who it was. She looked up and sure enough, found Kaydel Ko Connix, staring down at her while putting on some red lipstick.

“Isn’t there a rule against wearing make up in school?” Rey asked testily. She didn’t mean to sound so catty but Kaydel hadn’t exactly called her by a nice word.

“Isn’t there a rule against dating your friends’ ex-boyfriends?” Kaydel shot back.

“We’re not friends,” Rey said through gritted teeth. “And I’m not dating Poe. Your crazy ex-boyfriend tried to force himself on me.”

“Oh, so that’s the story you’re going with?” Kaydel chuckled then leaned in, hands on her knees. “You ought to be thankful that Poe’s bragging about tapping your ass. Now the whole school knows about you. You’re famous!”

Rey bristled. “You’re sick in the head.”

“And you’re a slut,” Kaydel retorted, her voice silky yet full of venom as she stood back up to her full height and shifted her backpack from one shoulder to the other. “But I’m going to be the nice girl and congratulate you on fucking Poe Dameron. He’s a good fuck. You should enjoy more of it.”

Disgusted, Rey stormed past her up the steps, Artoo following quietly close by. Finally arriving at the hallway that led to her room, she hurried to her door and tried to insert her key in when she noticed the door was slightly ajar.

Alarm set in. Either she had forgotten to lock her door last week or someone had been in her room.

Her heart pounding hard, she reached for the knob and opened the door, the blood draining away from her face when she saw what was inside.

* * *

“This is a very serious allegation, Benjamin,” Amilyn Holdo said after Ben told her everything he knew. “Have you contacted the police?”

“I don’t want the police involved. I just want this kid expelled,” Ben stressed, his brows meeting in barely concealed anger. Having to relay the events as Rey had told him had stoked the fires of his rage, and he was having difficulties reigning himself in. “I don’t want my stepdaughter going to the same school as a would-be-rapist.”

“It’s not going to be as quick or as easy as that,” Amilyn sighed. “We will need to conduct a thorough investigation. It’s going to take some time.”

“So you’re saying Rey has to breathe the same air as that bastard while you investigate?” Ben demanded. “For Christ’s sake, Auntie Amilyn! Rey’s traumatized. I’d barely been able to convince her to go back to school because of that boy.”

“Yes, I understand.” Amilyn nodded. “But we have protocols that need to be followed in cases such as these, and we will actually do our part in ensuring Rey is separated from her alleged attacker.”

“Alleged?” Ben repeated incredulously. “Poe Dameron _is_ her attacker. Rey would never lie, especially not about this.”

 “Benjamin, there is such a thing as ‘innocent until proven guilty’,” Amilyn reminded patiently, and for the life of him, he couldn’t understand how she could remain calm when he was angry enough to start throwing things around. “Now, we can start by having me talk to Rey, so we can proceed further with the complaint.”

“Fine,” Ben huffed and stood up from his seat, took out his phone and dialed Rey’s number. It took quite a few rings before she answered. “Hello, Rey? Are you still in your dorm room or are you already in class?”

“Ben...”

He froze. Rey sounded small. Frightened. And she sounded like she was crying. “Rey, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“M-my room,” she sobbed. “Th-they did something to my room.”

“I’ll be right there. Just stay put, alright?” Ben ended the call and turned to Amilyn. “Something’s happened in Rey’s room. I have to go.”

“I’ll go with you,” Amilyn offered, and together, they hurried through the hallways and the staircases with Ben several steps ahead of the headmistress.

Soon enough, they got to the dormitories and Ben quickly hurried inside Rey’s open door. “Rey, what—”

Ben stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide with shock. The room had been completely vandalized, with the walls spray painted in bright red with the word ‘SLUT’ over and over. The same words were all over the dresser mirror, except this time it was written with what looked to Ben like red lipstick.

Ben turned around. Everywhere in the room was the word ‘SLUT’, and at the center of it all stood Rey, sobbing as Artoo put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

“Rey...” Ben hurried over to her and immediately pulled her in his arms, allowing her to bawl in his chest. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I’m here.”

“H-He told everyone, Ben,” Rey sobbed, tears running fast and hot down her cheeks. “Poe told everyone that he and I had sex in his car. They all believe him and now someone...someone did this and...”

“Shhh. It’s okay,” he whispered and kissed the top of her head, trying to remain calm for her even as he was shaking with rage.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Amilyn looking around the room in shock. He let go of Rey and approached the headmistress, who stilled when she saw the look on his face.

“Benjamin,” she began, “I know you’re upset right now, but let’s keep a cool head. We’ll get to the bottom of this and—”

“Where is he?” Ben’s voice was dead calm. “Where’s Poe Dameron?”

“I...don’t know.” Amilyn looked away.

“Oh, I think you do, Auntie Amilyn,” Ben said through clenched teeth. “Now you better tell me something or your school will lose a major benefactor.”

The threat was serious, and it was clear Amilyn knew it. “I’ll...have him called to my office. But you have to promise me that you’ll be on your best behavior.”

Ben grunted his yes. Amilyn nodded and took out her phone to make a call. While she did, Ben returned to Rey’s side and knelt in front of her, wiping her tears away with a thumb.

“Baby...” he whispered, “You’ll be face to face with that Dameron boy soon so you’re going to have to be strong, alright? I’ll be there to protect you, so don’t be afraid.”

Rey sniffled and nodded. Ben badly wanted to kiss her, to reassure her that everything would be alright but he managed to hold himself back.

“Alright.” Amilyn interrupted them with a sigh. “I’ve called his teacher. He should be in my office in a few minutes. We should head back.”

Ben got up and took Rey’s hand as they followed Amilyn back to the administration building while Artoo returned to the Benz with the luggage. Once in her office, Amilyn had Ben and Rey sit on chairs at one side in front of desk, while an empty chair, presumably for Poe, sat empty on the other side.

They didn’t have to wait long before knocks echoed from the door.

“Come in,” Amilyn called out, and the door opened to reveal a nervous Poe Dameron poking his head in.

He froze when he saw Ben and Rey, and if it wasn’t for Rey tightening her grip on his hand, Ben would’ve leapt off his chair and punched the living daylights out of him. Instead, he settled for a death glare, which worked at turning Poe’s tan skin pale.

“Mr. Dameron?” Amilyn asked, and Poe blinked.

“Yes, Ma’am?”

“Have a seat, please.”

 Poe entered the room in slow, measured steps, this time not even daring to look at Ben and Rey as he took his seat.

“Mr. Dameron, do you know why you’re here?” Amilyn asked.

“I can’t say I do, Ma’am,” Poe denied, his voice surprisingly steady.

“Liar!” Rey snapped unexpectedly, and Ben stared at her, surprised by the fire in her voice even as her hand trembled in his. “You know exactly why you’re here, Poe Dameron. Stop lying and tell the truth!”

“What’s there to tell?” Poe drawled, seeming to have gained confidence as he turned to Rey and smirked. “You came on to me and we had sex in my car. I only did it because you wanted it.”

Ben was shaking now, his hand tightening around Rey’s, his self-control starting to wear dangerously thin.

“I didn’t want it. You tried to force me and you know it.” Rey’s voice was still strong, though Ben could hear the faintest hint of a sob coming on.

“Mr. Dameron,” Amilyn called his attention, “It seems you _do_ know why you are here. Tell me again why we should believe you.”

“Because she really did want it,” Poe insisted. “She’s a slut, just like her mother.”

Ben was off his seat in a split second, and with a strength he didn’t know he had, lifted Poe off his seat and threw him against the wall.

Poe’s eyes bugged out of their sockets. “What the fu—”

His words were cut by Ben’s fist connecting with his jaw.

“Benjamin!” Amilyn tried to put a hand on Ben’s shoulder but he brushed her off and turned Poe around, slamming him against the wall and twisting his arm painfully up to his back, his other hand pressing hard on the boy’s head.

“Ah! Motherfucker, you’re going to break my arm!”

“I’m going to break more than just your fucking arm if you don’t start telling the truth!” Ben threatened, pulling at Poe’s arm until he yelped. “Now say it!”

“Benjamin, stop!”

“Ben, please!”

He couldn’t hear Amilyn and Rey’s cries through the screams of his own rage. Only Poe’s yelps and whimpers seemed to satiate him, and he twisted the boy’s arm some more, wanting to hear him in pain, twisting just short of hearing the crunch of bones and joints.

“Say it, Dameron!” A twist. A cry. A yelp. “Tell the truth!”

“Alright, alright! I tried to rape her!” Poe finally admitted, crying in pain as he did so.

Ben still wouldn’t let go. “What else?”

“I told you, man! I tried to force her to have sex and—”

“Admit that you lied to everyone about what happened!” Ben demanded. “Admit it!”

“Okay, okay! I told everyone Rey wanted it but she didn’t!”

Ben tightened his grip on Poe’s head, and the boy gurgled on his own saliva. “Now, admit that you vandalized her room.”

“V-Vandalized?” Poe seemed genuinely confused. “I didn’t vandalize anything—ow! Ow! My arm!”

“I’ll break it if you continue to lie!” Ben seethed. “Did you or did you not vandalize her room?”

“I’ve been telling the truth!” Poe cried out, wincing in pain as Ben twisted his arm a little more. “I tried to rape her, I lied to everyone about it but I didn’t vandalize her room!”

Ben considered Poe for a moment, watching the boy’s erratic breathing as he endured the pain. He had no proof of Poe’s involvement with what happened to Rey’s room except the circumstances, so he pulled Poe off the wall and shoved him to Amilyn Holdo. “There. There’s your confession. Now do your job and expel him.”

“I can’t, Benjamin.” Amilyn shook her head as she held a whimpering Poe to her. “I can’t accept a confession that’s been extracted under duress.”

“Well then...” Ben straightened his jacket and his tie, his anger now calm but still deadly as he said, “You just lost the school a student and a benefactor. Good luck explaining that to the board.”

Without another word, he took Rey’s hand and stormed out of the office with her, leaving Amilyn to call out to him, pleading him to reconsider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My initial draft was for Ben to publicly beat up Poe, but I couldn't have the students record the incident and for it to get out, which will cause a media frenzy that the story really doesn't need (at least at the moment?) And like I said, the chapter starts out hot, but ends on a cold note. What's going to happen next now that Ben's decided to pull Rey out of school? How will Rey deal with the fall out? What do you think will happen next?
> 
> I will not be able to update tomorrow because it will be my cousin's burial. But I will continue to write the next chapter tonight. I need to do this as it's pretty much how I can cope. 
> 
> Thank you again for your patience, your support, and your comments. Always do look forward to hearing from you guys. Until the next chapter!


	24. ENVY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little jealousy doesn't hurt...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS CHECK THE TAGS. They've been updated.
> 
> Please forgive any spelling and grammar error guys. I've barely gotten any sleep these past few days. Onwards to the update!
> 
> Oh, did you guys see the moodboard Autonomee / kylolita made for Blossoming? It's all kinds of awesome! Check it out:
> 
>   
>    
> 

Ben looked up from his paperwork to stare at Rey, who stood gazing out of the tall windows of his office. After all the fiasco in Raddus Hall, he had decided to bring her to work with him, if only to divert her from all that had happened. She had never been to his office before, and it had initially worked at distracting her, what with Rey looking around in awe at the hustles and bustles of the cubicles and offices as they walked past. He had even taken her to lunch at a fancy restaurant and introduced her to a few noteworthy people in the company. However, nearly all of them had the same comment:

“Is this Annabelle’s daughter? She looks so much like her.”

“My dear, you’re the spitting image of your mother.”

“Such a beautiful young lady. Just like her mother.”

“You look so much like Annabelle, it’s eerie!”

With each comment on her looks, Ben noticed Rey’s mood grow dourer and dourer until she seemed to withdraw into herself. He hadn’t had time to talk to her about it because of work, but now that things were winding down, he could finally see how much it affected her.

He put the papers down. “Rey.”

Rey turned, not moving at first until he gestured for her to come to him. With a deep breath, she walked over to Ben, standing within reach of him until he encouraged her to sit on his knee, which she did. He had no qualms about being this close to her. Nobody entered his office unless his secretary buzzed them in first.

“Baby...” he began, one hand snaked around her waist, the other holding her hand. “I know this day didn’t exactly go so well. I know you’re going to miss your friends, but I hope you understand why I have to pull you out of that school—”

“I understand,” Rey deadpanned but he could sense she was trying to keep the hurt from her voice. “And I don’t have friends. Not anymore.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He leaned over to kiss her but she turned away before he could, his brows meeting in concern. “Rey?”

“Ben...how much am I like my mother?” Rey asked flatly, her face turned away so he couldn’t read her expression.

He tensed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how much am I like her?” She turned to look at him then, and it unnerved Ben how expressionless her face was. “Do I really look that much like her? Sound like her? Because that’s all everyone seems to notice.”

“The resemblance is uncanny, I’ll admit,” Ben said truthfully. “And you do sound a lot like her, but—”

“Am I a slut like her too?”

Her question stunned him into silence, and he had to blink several times for it to register that it was Rey who spoke those words.

“Rey, no. You’re not.” Ben shook his head vehemently. “Don’t let what that Dameron boy said get to you.”

“Am I not acting like a slut?” Rey pursued, emotionless. “Doing the things I do with you?”

“This is different,” Ben said fiercely, holding on to her hand even as she refused to let him tangle his fingers with hers. “Rey, you’re not sleeping with different men. You’re only being intimate with me. You’re not a slut. You’re not like your mother. In fact, you’re everything Annabelle isn’t. You’re worlds better than she will ever be.”

He took in a deep breath. He had said it with such passion, he was sure she would get the meaning behind his words. But when he looked into her eyes, he saw the blank expression had turned into turmoil.

“I look like her. Sound like her. But I’m better than her,” she said slowly and softly, yet Ben could sense the edge in her voice. “Is that why you want to be with me, Ben? Because I’m the better version of my mother?”

Ben was stunned. That wasn’t what he had meant at all. “Rey, that’s not what I’m saying.”

“When you look at me, who do you see?” Rey pressed on, relentless. “Do you see me, or do you see a version of my mother that you’ve always wanted? An illusion made real?”

The last question made Ben wince. She was throwing his own words against him and he was so blindsided, he started scrambling for the right words to say, only to come up empty. “Rey, I...I see you.”

“Do you really?” she questioned, the disbelief now apparent in her tone. She extricated herself from his arms and stepped back from him. “When we get home, I’d like to sleep in my room tonight. Alone. I need to think.”

“Rey…” He wanted to reach out to her, but the inches of distance between them felt more like a chasm he couldn’t cross.

“Ben, please.” Rey put her hands up to ward off his. “I need some space.”

“Okay, sweetheart. Okay.” Ben dropped his hands and watched as Rey trudged back to the window to gaze out once more.

He had never felt as hollow as he did at that moment.

* * *

The ride home in the Benz was quiet, with a clear divide between Ben and Rey. It was a stark contrast to their ride to school that morning, with their fingers meshed together and conversation pleasant and warm. Now there were no words spoken, no skin touching. Just two people sitting on opposite ends of the backseat, mulling over their own individual thoughts.

Rey pressed herself against the car door, intent on putting as much distance between her and Ben as possible. His answers to her statements and questions in his office had left her so disappointed and distressed that she could barely even think of anything else—not the lies Poe had spread about her, her vandalized dorm room, or Ben’s strong-arming of Poe into a confession.

She stared out the car window, saw her reflection and quickly turned away. She hated it. Hated that she looked so much like Annabelle. What was a blessing of good looks, now seemed more like a curse, bringing with it the wrath of the likes of Poe Dameron and what she now deemed to be Ben’s inability to see her for who she truly was. And it was that last part that hurt the most.

Did he see Annabelle every time he looked at her with those eyes full of adoration? Did he feel her skin whenever they touched and caressed? Taste her lips whenever they kissed?

Rey’s hands bunched up on her skirt as her fingers curled into fists. She never thought she would be this envious of someone who had been dead for a long time. Especially not her own mother, who had done nothing but lied and betrayed Ben throughout the course of their marriage. She shouldn’t be jealous, she thought. Like Ben said, she was worlds better than Annabelle ever was. But the fact of the matter was she was still being compared to a dead, if not imperfect mirror image of herself. She would never escape the shadow of the mother who came before her.

The Benz finally arrived in Alderaan Manor, and Rey stepped out of the vehicle as soon as it stopped in front of the house. Dinner would be ready soon, but she was in no mood to eat, especially not with Ben.

“Rey, aren’t you going to have dinner with me?” Ben asked when she headed for the staircase instead of the dining room.

“I’m not hungry.” She continued walking up the steps, not even bothering to look at him.

“I’ll bring dinner to your room,” he offered, and even without looking, Rey could sense he was starting to follow her up the stairs.

“Don’t bother,” she said tersely, hoping to discourage him. “I’ll come down when I’m hungry.”

The footsteps from behind her stopped then, and she hurried up the rest of the steps, walking briskly towards her room and making sure to slam the door shut. She remembered what it had felt like when he had avoided having dinner with her for weeks. Let him feel that pain for once, she thought bitterly. Let him feel how it was like to be rejected.

Rey changed from her school uniform into one of her long nightgowns and spent the rest of the evening stewing on her thoughts, ignoring the text messages from Rose and Finn. She didn’t want to care about her so-called friends or what they think anymore, didn’t want to care about what the rest of the school thought of her. She was much too caught up in the churning emotions brought about by the exchange she had with Ben to care much about anything else.

The hours passed, and the more it did, the more Rey was convinced Ben wanted her only for her resemblance to her mother; wanted her only because he thought of her as a chance to start over with a new and improved Annabelle Elizabeth Snoke. He didn’t want poor little Reynabelle Eliza Snoke. She was far too young, far too small and skinny compared to the absolute mature beauty Annabelle had been. Rey knew these thoughts only served to deepen her pain, but she couldn’t help herself. Pain hardened her heart, and the more it did, the more she could stop these feelings for Ben from swelling further inside her chest. She couldn’t afford to feel for him more than she already did. She needed to nip it in the bud while she still could.

It was past midnight when she decided she had had enough of her grumbling stomach. Wrapping a robe around herself, she stepped out of her room and trekked to the kitchen, all the while thinking about the leftovers she could eat or the sandwiches she could make. The servants should all be asleep by now, so she would have to serve herself.

She made the turn to the kitchen and stopped at the doorway.

She wasn’t alone. Ben was standing by the kitchen counter, dressed in nothing but a pair of black silk pajama bottoms, and she had to ignore the way her body reacted to the sight of his naked chest.

“Finally decided to come down for dinner, huh?” Ben asked, a small, sad smile on his lips. He looked tired, and she had a nagging suspicion that he had been here a while.

Rey wrapped her arms around herself and frowned. “What are you doing down here, Ben?”

“Can’t sleep,” he said, keeping his hands on the marble countertop. “Would’ve had a nightcap to help me sleep but I remember you telling me to lay off the alcohol, so...”

Rey bit her lip. “You don’t have to do what I tell you to. You’re not under any obligation to do as I say.”

“I know I’m not.” Ben kept his sad smile. “But I want to do it anyway. For you.”

She did her best to ignore that last part. Steeling herself, she said curtly, “Did you always want to do everything my mother said too?”

Ben sighed deeply. “Not everything is about Annabelle, Rey.”

“I think it is,” she insisted, her dark thoughts from earlier looming over her like a cloud. “You wouldn’t even want to be with me if I didn’t look so much like her.”

She watched Ben close his eyes slowly and lower his head, watched as he worried at his lip before he lifted his head again to look at her with pained eyes. “Rey...you deserve the truth. I confess. My attraction towards you did start out from the fact that you look like your mother. But at every turn, you proved to me that you’re more than just your outer appearance.” He lifted his hands off the countertop and walked around it towards her, stopping just within arm’s reach of her. “You’re your own person. You’re smart. You make me laugh. You’re charming. You’re braver than you think you are. And most of all, you’re genuine.”

He was saying everything she needed to hear but she refused to believe it. She would rather wallow in the conclusions she came up earlier, if only to harden her heart against him.

“Genuine...unlike my mother,” she almost spat. “You’re able to put me on a pedestal because you stack me up against my mother’s mistakes. Let’s face it Ben. She didn’t set the bar high at all, which makes it all too easy to see me as the better replacement.”

“You’re not a replacement, Rey.” Ben stepped forward. “What do I have to do to make you see that?”

He was so close now that he could reach out and take her in his arms, and Rey wasn’t sure whether she wanted him to or not.

“If I’m not a replacement, then tell me, Ben. How much do you really know me?” She looked up at him defiantly, arms still wrapped tightly around herself. “Do you even know my favorite color? My favorite food? My favorite flower? My favorite time of the day? No, you don’t know. You don’t care enough to know or ask. All you care about is seeing and feeling my mother again through me.”

Ben’s lips tightened into a fine line, and with his eyes not leaving hers, he backed away. “You can be very cruel when you want to be, you know that?”

“Just like my mother, huh?” Rey fired another shot, and it was clear in the way Ben’s eye twitched that she had hit the mark. She knew she was being mean, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself from lashing out.

They stared at each other in silence for a while, electricity seeming to cackle in the night air, and Rey wasn’t sure if the tension was going to lead up to a full blown fight or lead to them tearing each other’s clothes off and having their way with each other. Again, she wasn’t sure which she preferred.

Ben turned his back on her. She thought he was going to finally leave, give her some reprieve from all the confusing feelings stirring inside her, but he didn’t. Instead, he walked over to the refrigerator, took out a bowl of something and popped it in the microwave.

“Lilac,” he said, making her look up at him in surprise. “Your favorite color is lilac. You love pastel hues but you love lilac the most.” The microwave dinged, and he took out the bowl and set it on the countertop in front of Rey, the smell of spaghetti and meatballs assailing her nostrils. “For someone so sickly, you’ve never been particularly fussy about food. You love seafood but your childhood favorite has always been spaghetti and meatballs.”

Rey didn’t say anything. She couldn’t. He had been right so far and she didn’t know what to make of it.

“Your favorite flowers are lilies,” Ben continued without skipping a beat. “When we used to visit your mother in the hospital, you would always gravitate towards the lilies by her bedside. It got so you have drawing books filled with sketches of lilies. It seems to be the only positive memory you have of Annabelle during her last days.” He looked into Rey’s eyes then, his eyes still full of anguish. “Your favorite time of the day is late afternoon. You love watching the sun set through your window, love the changing colors of the sky as it turns into night.”

“How do you know all this?” Rey asked, bewildered, suspicious and more than a little surprised.

“I observe. I ask. Maybe not you directly, but I ask Maz when I can,” Ben explained, his eyes a little softer now. “There’s still a lot I don’t know about you, I know, but each new thing I learn, I commit to memory, and I always look forward to learning more. Because believe it or not, I do care, Rey. More than you will ever know.” He swallowed at that last part. Rey felt there was more to what he was saying, but she didn’t dare hope. She couldn’t afford to, especially with the way her heart was fluttering in her chest. “I’m sorry if I compared you to your mother. To be fair, I compared all the other women in my life to her. She was my first love and my first heartbreak. It’s only natural I compare her to all the others that came after her.”

“And how do I compare? To her and to all those other women?” she asked, curiosity now getting the best of her.

“There’s no contest.” Ben stepped forward once more until he was once again within arm’s reach. “Rey...you’ve grown up to be an incredible, amazing young lady. You’ve made me feel more alive than I have ever felt in years. You’ve brightened up my life in ways that I cannot even begin to describe. And if I could change things for us, I’d change it so that I met you first before Annabelle.”

Rey felt her lip quiver. She was breaking, she just knew it, and she had to tighten her grip on her shoulders to keep herself from falling apart. “Do you mean that?”

“Every word.” His voice shook as he said it, and he tentatively reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She let him. “Maybe if I met you first, you’ll believe me when I say I want you for you. That I see no one else when we’re together but you.”

That did it. That broke her, and the walls she had built around her heart came falling down along with her tears.

Ben didn’t gather her in his arms like she expected him to. He didn’t press. Instead, he opened his arms and waited for her to come to him.

Sobbing, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head against his chest as he returned the embrace and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

“I’m sorry, Ben,” she cried. “I’m sorry for being cruel. It’s just...everything that happened in school...it was all too much. I was overwhelmed, I—”

“I know, sweetheart, I know.” He knelt in front of her and cupped her small face in his large palms. “But it’s all over now. You’re safe here with me.”

He started kissing her tears away then, moving his lips down her cheeks until his mouth was on hers, and she closed her eyes, wondering how she could have ever doubted him when the kiss told her what she should have known all along—that he cared deeply, felt deeply, for her and only her.

“My Rey,” he whispered in between kisses, his voice soft and reverent as he worshipped her lips with his, “My beautiful, precious little Rey...”

He called her name over and over, as though it were a chant, a prayer, and there was nothing that could have sounded sweeter to Rey’s ears than this confirmation that it was she whom he saw. She whom he was touching. She whom he was kissing. It was her. It had always been her.

Lips still on hers, he lifted her up to sit her on the counter before he moved between her legs, pulling her flush against him, the hem of her nightgown riding up to her hips as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. She gasped into his mouth at the feel of his hardened cock against her crotch, and she immediately felt herself grow wet with want.

They didn’t stop kissing as Ben grinded himself against her. Didn’t stop kissing as he palmed her small breasts through her nightgown. Didn’t stop kissing as he slipped his hand inside her panties to rub her all too slippery clit. Kissing was their lifeline. Kept them connected. But all too soon the heat became too much, and Rey wanted to be connected to Ben in ways that kissing simply could not satisfy.

Lips and tongues still intertwined, Rey removed her hands from his shoulders so she could pull down her panties, and as soon as Ben saw this, he stopped kissing so he could help until the panties lay discarded on the floor below. His mouth was quickly on hers again, fingers now freely exploring her folds before Ben pushed two in, and Rey gasped at the sudden fullness.

“Rey...Rey...so beautiful...so wet and tight for me...” Ben continued to chant, seeming to be in a daze as his fingers probed in and out, the wet sounds of her own slick echoing pleasantly through Rey’s ears.

But it wasn’t enough. She wanted more. Needed more.

She needed _all_ of him.

With his fingers still deep inside her, Rey lifted her legs off of Ben and used her feet to push down his pajama bottoms, exposing his angry, weeping cock to her. She then grabbed his wrist and took his hand away from her center before pulling his whole body against her, and she almost wept when she felt his cock rubbing against her dripping cunt. Skin on skin. Flesh on intimate flesh.

“Fuck, Rey!” Ben cursed, and Rey felt a thrill shoot up her spine. He was coming undone, and so was she. They were getting drunk. Drunk from their shared, torrid kisses, drunk from their shared caresses. Now it was their most intimate parts that kissed, his cock rubbing against her clit as he moved his hips up and down, rolling it against hers.

“R-Rey...I want to...I want to...”

“Yes, Ben, yes.” Rey was only too eager to nod, too eager to grant him permission. She wanted, needed, hungered for him.

She had to have him inside her or else she would die.

They gazed at each other then, both eyes glazed and half-lidded. Rey could barely think through the haze of her feelings as she spread her legs for him, eager, ready to take him into the warm embrace of her flesh. She watched him stare at her pussy with pupils blown wide. Watched him swallow as he pumped himself to get harder. Watched him align his rock hard cock to the entrance of her pussy.

He pushed through her slit and began his slow descent into her, the head pushing in between the folds, deeper into her flesh, stretching her achingly slow...

Glass shattered, breaking the spell. Rey and Ben quickly turned, the blood draining from both their faces all at once.

There, standing at the kitchen doorway, was the old servant, Maz Kanata.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you believe it when I say that I didn't plan for this chapter to end this way initially? That I at first had absolutely no plans of them getting caught? But it seemed to be the natural progression of the story. They got careless. And now there will be consequences.
> 
> Maz cockblocked them before and she continues to be just that. A cockblocker.
> 
> I was also supposed to title this chapter CARELESS but I felt like it would give the ending away, so I settled for ENVY, which is also a theme of this particular chapter.
> 
> Thank you so much guys for patiently waiting. As you know, we buried my cousin just yesterday and it was one of the hardest goodbyes we had ever had to do. So thank you for your condolences and well wishes as well as your comments as they've definitely helped buoy my spirits. I look forward to hearing from you guys. Would love to listen in on your thoughts about this chapter. Feel free to comment away!


	25. CONSEQUENCES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actions come with consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for waiting dear readers. After the shocker that was the ending of the last chapter, I hope you guys are ready for another long read. Smut train has been derailed. Let's see what we have left...
> 
> I'd also like to thank Poaxath / thewayofthesith.tumblr.com for creating this beautiful moodboard for the story. I am thoroughly inspired! Thank you!
> 
>   
>    
> 

The world seemed to have stopped as Ben continued to stand by the kitchen counter, his cock partially buried in Rey’s wet cunt, his pajama bottoms around his ankles, Rey’s hands on his shoulders and her nightgown bunched up to her waist while Maz’s pale, wrinkled, bespectacled face stared at them in shock and horror. Nobody moved or breathed, and it felt like the moment lasted forever when in reality, it had only been a split second.

“I’m sorry,” Maz finally said, shattering the excruciating silence as she backed away from the doorway. “I...I’m sorry!”

Ben watched Maz quickly turn and flee the scene, and he hastily moved away from Rey and pulled up his pajamas. “Maz, wait!”

He tried to run after the old maid but by the time he got to the doorway, she was gone, perhaps back to her room in the servants’ wing.

He stopped and put one hand on his hip, the other rubbing his eyes as he lowered his head. Maz had seen them. They got caught. And all because they had been too caught up in the heat of the moment to even think.

He cursed inwardly. How could he have been so stupid? So careless? Now Maz, of all people, had seen them in the act—Maz who had raised Rey from infanthood. Helped raise _him_ from infanthood. He couldn’t even imagine what must be going through the old woman’s head, seeing her former charges together in the throes of passion. It probably wouldn’t have mattered much if Rey had been of age, but the fact of the matter was she was still four years shy of being legal, and Ben was suddenly terrified of the consequences.

“Ben?”

He turned to face Rey, who had gotten off the kitchen counter and straightened her nightgown and robe, her face ashen. “Are we in trouble?”

He swallowed hard. Instead of answering, he walked over to her and pulled her into an embrace. She clung to him then, and he could sense she was frightened. What he couldn’t tell her was that he was probably just as terrified as she was.

He was going to jail for this. He would never see Rey again. And it was that last thought that frightened him the most.

“It’s okay,” he said, sounding braver than he actually felt. “It’s going to be fine. I’ll talk to Maz first thing in the morning. Make her understand.”

“What if she doesn’t?” Rey asked, worry making her voice small. “What if she tells everyone and they break us apart?”

“She won’t,” Ben reassured, even as uncertainty loomed large. “Maz cares about us. I’m sure she wouldn’t do anything that would harm either of us.”

Rey nodded and continued to cling to him, and they held on to each other for a long time, trying to find comfort in each other before they reluctantly let go.

“Come.” Ben kept one hand over Rey’s shoulder. “Let’s clean up the broken glass from the floor first. Then we can head to bed.”

Ben did most of the cleaning to make sure Rey didn’t wound herself on the slivers of glass Maz had dropped on the floor. Once done, he took her by the hand and they traversed the now quiet mansion until they reached their bedrooms.

He was about to bid her good night when she asked, “Can I sleep in your room tonight, Ben?”

It was a complete change from her earlier decision of wanting to sleep alone in her room, and Ben couldn’t refuse. “Of course, sweetheart.”

He led her inside his room, where she almost immediately sank into his bed.

Nothing more would happen between them that night except for a few kisses, and even those were more for comfort than desire. Their nerves were still too frayed from having been caught in the act by Maz that to do anything more invited an unexpected bout of shame. Ben hated this feeling and once again, kicked himself mentally. He should have gone directly to the bedroom with Rey when things started to become hot and heavy. Maybe then they could have still kept their relationship a secret.

Rey would be the first to sleep, while Ben would spend the next few hours just holding her in his arms and memorizing the details of her face.

These may very well be the last few moments he would still have the chance to.

* * *

Rey woke up to the morning sunlight streaming in from the windows. She blinked a few times before rubbing her eyes and stretching, groaning as she did so. The instinct to get out of bed for school almost kicked in, but she managed to remind herself that she was no longer a student of Raddus Hall.

She turned to her side and gazed at Ben’s sleeping face. So much had happened yesterday that she was still trying to process it, but foremost in her mind was the memory of Maz stumbling upon them. Without the haze of lust and overpowering emotions, Rey realized just how close she had been to losing her virginity, though she wasn’t sure if the fact that they had been stopped was a good thing or not. If there was anyone she would rather lose her virginity to, it would be to Ben and to Ben alone. Nevertheless, she began to wonder if the timing was right.

Or if they even still had time left together at all.

She reached out to run her hand on the side of Ben’s face, feeling the beginnings of a stubble around his jaw line as she committed his features to memory—his long nose, the moles that dotted his pale skin, his full lips that had brought her to bliss.

Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes. She couldn’t lose him. Not now, and that was when she knew she had to talk to Maz herself. Ben had already done so much to protect her. It was time she returned the favor and did what she could to protect him. Protect what they had.

Kissing him gently so as not to wake him, Rey carefully slipped out of bed and padded out of the room. The sun was still barely up, but she knew Maz would already be awake by now, if she had slept at all.

She made her way through the vast house and to the corridors which led to the servants’ wing. She had only been there a few times, back when she was a child and still needed a lot of mothering from Maz, and she knew where the old maid’s room was.

She arrived at Maz’s door, her heart thudding in her chest as she lifted her fist to knock.

“Who is it?” came the old woman’s voice. She sounded hoarse, like she had been crying.

“It’s me, Maz. It’s Reynabelle.” The servants, including Maz, all referred to her and Ben by their first names with the exception of Threepio, who called Ben Master Solo.

It took a while for Maz to open the door, and when she did, she immediately gestured for Rey to come in, which she did.

Maz shut the door and before Rey could say anything, the old woman hurried over to embrace her. Maz was a diminutive woman, barely taller than Rey herself but she seemed to have grown smaller now.

“Dear child,” Maz sniffled before pulling back, keeping her hands on Rey’s shoulders. “Are you alright? Did he hurt you?”

“No, Maz,” Rey shook her head. “Ben would never hurt me.”

Maz’s brows rose beyond the rims of her coke-bottle glasses. “But...but I saw you. He was...he was...”

“I wanted it,” Rey interrupted before Maz could finish her sentence. “I wanted it, Maz. Ben and I...we’re in a relationship. He would never make me do something I didn’t want to do.”

“No.” Maz shook her head softly, denial in her voice. “No, Reynabelle. You can’t...you can’t be in a relationship with your stepfather.”

“We’re not related,” Rey protested, and she was suddenly brought back to the time when Ben had tried to push her away, and she knew what Maz would say next.

“You’re fourteen, and he’ll be turning thirty four,” Maz said, and Rey thought it was the strangest way to be reminded that Ben would be celebrating his birthday soon. “You’re a child. He’s an adult. Do you not see what’s wrong with this picture?”

“I love him,” Rey blurted out, surprising not just Maz, but herself as well. She loved him. She loved Benjamin Lucas Solo. Loved him with all her heart and soul, and she felt the warmth in her chest bloom up to her cheeks. She knew she felt deeply for him, but to finally be able to articulate it in words was...liberating.

Maz however, clearly didn’t see it that way. “No. Just, no. Reynabelle, you’re not in love with him. You just think you are. You’re too young to understand what’s happening, but he...he’s taking advantage of you.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t understand, Maz,” Rey interjected, her tone now taking on an edge. She had just discovered that she was in love with Ben. She wasn’t about to let anyone, not even Maz, take that away from her. “He cares for me. He protects me. He makes me feel whole. He’s a good man. You should know. You helped raise him.”

“I...I did...” Maz trailed off, her mind seemingly elsewhere as she let go of Rey’s shoulders, her hands limp on her sides. “But I never raised him to lust after a child.”

Rey grew indignant. Why did everyone see her as a child and not as the young woman that she was? But she knew she had to be calm about things. She knew she had to try and reason with Maz. “I’m not a child, Maz. I’ve grown up. And it’s not lust. He loves me too.”

“He told you that?” Maz asked, and Rey faltered a little.

“Not yet, but I know he does.” She added that last part quickly. Ben hadn’t told her he loved her. Not in so many words but she was certain that he did. She could feel it in her bones. But Maz had inserted a seed of doubt in her conviction.

“How long has this been going on?” Maz’s voice was calmer now, but it still put Rey on the defense.

“A while,” she answered. “It happened gradually, but I think...I think I’ve always loved him, even when he kept his distance. I admired him for all the things he did for me despite what Mother did to him. And a lot of things happened that pushed us closer together until...” Rey shook her head, once again overwhelmed with feeling as she reached out to hold Maz’s hands in hers. “Oh, Maz. I’ve never felt this way before. I love him so much it physically hurts to be away from him. So please. Please. I’m begging you. Don’t take this away from us. Please.”

Maz was silent for a while, her hands limp in Rey’s grip before she let out a sad smile. “I stayed up all night, trying to understand what I saw, trying to look back on everything, if I had seen this coming. I admit, I have noticed you two growing closer. Saw those smiles on your faces. Those touches that might seem innocent at first. Saw how much happier you two have been. I just never imagined...” she trailed off and choked back a sob. “You may be my employers, but you and Benjamin are like the children I never had. I want nothing more than your happiness, but Reynabelle...you have to understand that we have laws against this. Benjamin is breaking the law by being with you.”

“Nobody else has to know,” Rey insisted, tightening her grip on Maz’s hands. “Please, Maz. I know you’ve already done so much for me through the years, but I’m begging you. Please keep this between us. I don’t want Ben to go to jail.”

“I don’t want that either,” Maz admitted, much to Rey’s relief. “He’s been nothing but kind to me. But I can’t condone this.” Maz was quiet for a while before she stood up straight. “Reynabelle...why don’t you come live with me? I have a house in the countryside. It’s small but comfortable. I could still work here to support us, but I'll be going home everyday to my house with you. You could go to public school. Be with other children your age. And you could still have supervised visits with Benjamin every weekend. And when you turn eighteen, you can do whatever you want.”

Rey let go of Maz’s hands. The offer wasn’t tempting at all. In fact, every part of her rebelled against it. Supervised weekend visits with Ben? For the next four years?

She shook her head. “I can’t do that, Maz. I told you. It hurts to be away from Ben. I can’t leave him.”

“You’ll still see each other,” Maz persisted. “Think about it, Reynabelle. This is the best option for you and for Benjamin. All I want is to protect both of you, that’s all.”

Rey’s mind understood. But her heart, oh her heart was breaking into a million pieces just thinking about it, and she continued to shake her head vehemently. “No. I don’t want to leave. And I’m not going to.”

Maz sighed deeply and lowered her gaze. “Then, I’m going to have to take this up with Benjamin myself.” She looked up at Rey again, and this time there was no trace of sadness in her wrinkled face; only determination. “Please tell him that I’d like to talk to him in his study after breakfast. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to change into my work clothes.”

That was as curt a dismissal as any, and Rey could only nod before seeing herself out.

She had come here to try and do what she could to protect Ben. But in the end, she came up empty save for an alternative that was unbearable to her. There was nothing else she could do except hope and pray that Ben wouldn’t agree to sending her away. Not again.

* * *

 Breakfast was a quiet affair. Ben had woken up to a somber Rey, standing by his bedside and telling him that Maz wished to speak with him in the study later. He hadn’t asked, but he assumed Rey and Maz had talked. He didn’t pry either. If Rey wanted to talk about it, she would, but she didn’t, and so they had spent the meal in silence, lost in their own individual thoughts.

Finishing the last bite of the pancakes, Ben stood up from his seat and tightened his black silk sleeping robe around him. “I’m going to head to my study to wait for Maz. What are you going to do?”

Rey shrugged. “Probably just wait for you in your room.”

Ben waited for Rey to say something more. He badly wanted to know what she and Maz had talked about especially since it seemed to have caused Rey such distress. But she wasn’t talking and he didn’t want to force her. So he just leaned over, planted a gentle kiss on her forehead and hurried over to his study.

He didn’t have to wait long for Maz to come knocking and announce herself, and he quickly called for her to enter.

Maz entered the study slowly and shut the door just as slowly. She had her usual dark gray frock on, her silver hair pinned up into a harsh bun, her thick spectacles making her eyes seem larger than they actually were. She looked older and feebler than he remembered her being, and he tensed as she approached his desk, stopping a few feet away from it.

Without so much as an introduction, Maz said, “I’d like Reynabelle to come live with me.”

Ben blinked. “What?”

“She and I talked about your...your relationship.” Maz swallowed, as if saying that was so repulsive to her. “Benjamin, you know this can’t continue. She’s just a child.”

“I know that,” Ben said, doing his best to steady his voice even as it threatened to break. “But you don’t understand, Maz. She and I...what we have is special. Something I’ve been searching for my whole life. She makes me the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“I know. I’ve seen you through your ups and downs. Saw how miserable you had been through the years and I admit, I have never seen you, or her so happy.” Maz wrung her hands together. “But this happiness comes at a cost, Benjamin. You’re robbing Reynabelle of her childhood.”

“I’ve never made her do anything she didn’t want to do,” Ben protested. “Her consent is of utmost importance to me.”

“She’s too young to even give consent,” Maz pointed out, and Ben clenched his fists at the reminder. “She’s too young to think for herself. It’s gotten to the point where she fancies herself in love with you and—”

“In love with me?” Ben interrupted, his mind running a thousand miles a minute as he tried to process what Maz had just revealed. “Rey said she is in love with me?”

“Yes.”

His world seemed to shatter and become whole again all at once. He felt hot and then cold, his two sides warring for dominion as it always did when it came to Rey, and it took a while before his inner turmoil finally settled, and a kind of peace that had eluded him for so long made its presence known.

Rey was in love with him.

Rey...his precious Rey actually loved him.

His voice calmer than it had ever been, he said to Maz, “Now, there’s no way I can let her go.”

“Benjamin...”

“I love her, Maz,” Ben finally admitted, and he felt his heart soar to the high heavens. It felt so good to be able to say that out loud after so long of trying to repress it, but he couldn’t deny it anymore. “I love her. With all my heart and soul, I love her.”

Maz stopped wringing her hands together and clasped them in front of her bosom, almost as if to plead. “If you love her as you claim, then you would let her go.”

“I’ve done that,” Ben explained. “I sent her away to school. Made her go out with friends her age. Pushed her away. But at every turn, Fate seemed to bring her back to me.”

“Just like it was Fate that brought you and Annabelle together?” Maz questioned, and this silenced Ben. “Benjamin, life is not a fairytale. You would think you would have outgrown that notion by now. Life is cruel. And you and Reynabelle can’t be together. Not as you both are now. If you could both just wait four more years—”

“I can’t be apart from her for that long.” Ben shook his head, and he could feel the pinpricks of tears at the corners of his eyes but he refused to let them fall. “I...I would die.”

“You’ll have supervised visits with her every weekend. You can still call and text each other. You won’t be apart,” Maz assured, but it did little to calm Ben’s anguish. “Look, Benjamin. I only want to protect both of you. Reynabelle living with me is the best option you have. Even you have to admit that.”

He ran a hand across his dark hair, mussing up the once perfect waves. Logic dictated that Maz was right, but his heart was screaming otherwise. Two sides warring once more.

“Benjamin, please,” Maz pleaded. “If you love Rey, truly love her, then you would do what is best for her.”

He heard her. Heard what Maz had said and now there was a tug of war within him. He loved Rey. He had to do what was in her best interest. And yet, he couldn’t bear to let her go. She was his oxygen. His water. His sunlight. Without her, he would wither and die.

But in the end, this wasn’t about him. It never was. It was about Rey.

It had to be about Rey, and with that thought, he made his decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't how this chapter was supposed to end. In fact, the next few chapters were supposed to be completely different but my husband Masayuki suggested a major story change that I thought was too good to pass up, so I decided to drastically change what would have happened in the next few chapters to accommodate his suggestion. I promise it will be good (if you're a masochist!)
> 
> Thanks again for reading dear readers. The story is far from over and I hope you'll continue to voice out your thoughts as we go through this tale. Thanks for all the support and the readership! Until next time!


	26. DECIDED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has made his decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to nothing but sad background music when I wrote this so that should give you an idea on what to expect.

Rey remained seated on the side of Ben’s bed, swinging her legs as she twiddled her thumbs. Ben and Maz had been talking an awful long time in his study, and her heart began to pound with dread. But she tried to remain optimistic. He wouldn’t send her away. Not now when they made so much progress with their relationship. Not now when she had fallen in love with him. He wouldn’t hurt her. Not that way. Not again. He loved her too. She had to believe that. He was probably still reasoning with Maz. That old maid can be stubborn if she wanted to be, but she cares for them both. If there was anyone who would understand, it was Maz.

She had to believe all of that or else she would go insane.

The door to Ben’s bedroom opened, and she looked up to see Ben entering. She smiled and got off the bed, ready to run into his arms when she saw Maz following close behind.

She froze.

“Rey...” Ben began, his voice sounding strong but feeble at the same time. “We need to talk.”

Rey looked at him, then at Maz, then back at him again. In disbelief, she said, “You’re sending me to live with Maz, aren’t you?”

The pain that lanced across Ben’s features mirrored her own, and she saw the beginnings of tears glistening in his eyes. “It’s what’s best for you. It’s what’s best for both of us.”

“No!” Rey shook her head vehemently, and in a panic, she rushed to Ben, gripping both of his forearms as she looked up at him, pleading with him. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay with you!”

“Rey...you can’t stay,” Ben said, trying his best to sound firm but only coming out broken. “If you stay, I won’t be able to get a hold of myself. I’ll ruin you forever.”

“You can’t ruin me, Ben. Not you.” Rey forced out a smile even as her lips trembled. “You can’t ruin me if I want it. And it’s what I want.”

“You’re too young to know what you want.” He was repeating the same argument he had made back when he had first turned her away, and it brought back all the frustration, all the desperation Rey had felt during that moment. “And what we’ve been doing...what _I’ve_ been doing to you is illegal. I could go to prison.”

“Nobody else has to know.” Rey looked at Maz, imploring the old maid with her eyes. “It’ll just be the three of us. Right, Maz? You won’t tell on Ben, right?”

“Reynabelle...”

Rey turned away from Maz and back to Ben. He seemed to be in a daze now, as though he couldn’t believe this was happening. And she knew the feeling. Knew it all too well but she had to remain focused. She had to if she were to convince Ben to let her stay. “Ben, please. Please don’t send me away. If you want, we don’t have to do anything anymore. We can just...go back to the way things were. No more sexual stuff.”

She was offering him the same thing that he had offered her back then—a platonic companionship. She would settle for that. Anything to keep them from being apart.

And yet, just as she had done before, Ben rejected it.  

“You know that’s highly unlikely, Rey.” Ben’s arms were still limp in her grip. “I...I can’t control myself around you. And let’s be honest. Can we really go back to how we were before?”

Rey stared at him. At the anguish that cut through his long face. Yes, her mind screamed. They could go back. No more touching. No more kissing. Just as long as they were together. But her body betrayed her. Even at that very moment, she longed to be held in his strong arms, to have all her fears kissed away by those plush lips of his.

“Yes, we can,” she lied through gritted teeth. “We can do it, Ben. We don’t have to be apart.”

“That’s a risk we cannot take.” It was Maz who spoke this time, stepping in further from the doorway, hands clasped tightly in front of her. “Reynabelle, I was young once too. The temptation is too strong especially when feelings are involved. I...I cannot allow things to escalate further.”

Temptation.

Feelings.

She had one last card to play.

She turned to Ben again, tightening her grip on his arms as she said, “Ben...please let me stay with you. I...I love you.” Her voice shook as she said it, trembling along with the fingers that continued to hold on to him. “I love you so much. I...I can’t be away from you. Please.”

Ben’s lip quivered. It took him a while to respond, and when he did, his voice was raw with emotion. “I...I love you too, Rey. I love you...more than I have ever loved anyone.”

It was the first time they had ever told each other how they felt, and tears swam in Rey’s vision before the droplets ran down her cheeks. She realized then how long she had waited for him to utter those words, and to finally hear him say it brought her joy such as she had never felt before. But the reality of the situation quickly came crashing back in, and tears of joy quickly turned to sorrow.

“Fight for me, Ben,” she begged through her tears. “If you love me, then fight for me.”

“I am fighting for you.” Ben’s lip was still quivering, his eyes red and glassy. “I’m fighting for what’s good for you. What we have is special, and I will always cherish it, but it’s not the kind of love you’re ready for. Not at your age.”

“B-But...”

“Four years, Rey,” Ben reminded, taking a deep breath as he said so. “We just have to wait four years. I’ll visit you at Maz’s house every weekend. I’ll call and text you every day. Think of it as though you’re away to boarding school. I’ll also be sending a weekly stipend so you can both live comfortably. I can begin the process of turning over legal guardianship to Maz as soon as possible. There’s a public school not ten minutes away from Maz’s place that can still accommodate you and—”

“You’ve already decided on this.” Rey let go of Ben’s arms and backed away, tear-filled eyes moving from one adult to the other. “You two have already decided on this.”

“I’m sorry, Reynabelle,” Maz said. “It’s for the best. We leave first thing in the morning.”

“Tomorrow?” Rey asked incredulously. “We’re leaving tomorrow?”

“I’ll help you pack,” Maz offered. “We would have left right away, but we need at least a day to prepare your things. Artoo will take us there in the Benz. I have my own Volkswagen but I don’t think everything will fit in there.”

Maz droned on and on about their travel arrangements, and all Rey could do was stare at Ben, who stared back at her in silence, his lips in a fine line. Rey backed away some more her hands flying to her hair. Too much, this was all too much! She hadn’t been able to recover yet from everything that had happened—Poe’s betrayal, the incident in the school, being caught, and now this?

Ben approached her, worried. “Rey?”

“Get away from me! Both of you, just get away!” she yelled and ran out of Ben’s bedroom and into hers, slamming the door in the process. Sobs wracked uncontrollably through her body, and she flung herself to her bed, bawling into the sheets.

She loved Ben and did all she could to keep them together. Ben loved her and yet he was giving her up. He was allowing all this to happen. Allowing them to be torn away from each other. And it left her heart bleeding.

She cried at the unfairness of it all. Cried until she had nothing left. Cried until sleep mercifully took her under its wing, lulling her into a world without dreams. A world without pain or loss. A world of nothingness. And she welcomed the relief.

* * *

Ben was tired, oh so tired, but sleep was elusive. He hadn’t been able to go to work that day because of everything that had happened, and he had spent almost the entire day in his room releasing all his pent up frustration and anger, taking it out on the furniture until his room was nothing but a mess of toppled chairs, broken things and pulled out sheets.

Then, for what seemed like the first time in years, he had allowed himself to weep. He had cried until his eyes hurt, until his voice turned hoarse from sobbing. He had cried for all that could have been, for all that could never be. Most of all, he had cried for Rey, his sweet little Rey, his beloved who was left broken by it all. And he couldn’t even be there to help her pick up the pieces.

With a ragged breath, he covered his still swollen eyes with a forearm, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to spill forth again. He hadn’t seen Rey since that morning. She had refused to come out of her room, had vehemently refused to see him. Maz had brought her food, had started packing her things for her, and by the time the old woman came out of her room, it was clear to Ben that she was just as affected by everything, but he couldn’t sympathize with her, for while he had agreed with Maz into this decision, part of him resented her for it. Wanted to lash out at her for it. Fire her. Bribe her. Threaten her. All those thoughts went through his head yet he had controlled himself enough not to act on those impulses. And so he had taken out his anger on his possessions.

He angrily wiped a stray tear that ran down the side of his face as he reached out for the nightstand drawer and took out a bottle of sleeping pills. He hadn’t needed to take these in a long time. The last time he constantly did was during the height of Annabelle’s affairs. Alcohol would have been an alternative, but he didn’t want to be hung over the next day. Rey may have refused to see him, but he was going to make sure he saw her out tomorrow morning, sober and clear-headed.

Making sure the pills were not expired, he popped one in and dry-swallowed before laying back down on his unkempt bed, waiting for it to take effect. And when it did, he felt himself swept up by relief.

He had a dream that night. A wonderful one. In it, he and Rey were running across a grassy field, wearing all white, the sunlight highlighting the chestnut color of her hair. Laughing, he grabbed her and they rolled down the slope until she was on top of him, kissing him with abandon, her lips traveling down his body as she moved lower and lower, and the next thing he knew, she had his cock in her pretty little mouth, sucking him and taking him in deeper than she had ever dared.

He groaned as he felt the rush of blood through his extremities. The sensations felt so powerful, so real, that he had to open his eyes so he could watch her.

The field of green instantly vanished, and he was back in his room, dim and illuminated only by the lamplight. But the sensations remained. Stronger. More intense. And he looked down to see Rey, moving her head up and down his crotch, his hard cock disappearing and reappearing from her mouth.

He gasped when she let him go with a pop and ran her tongue through the entire length of him.

“Do you like this, Daddy?” she whispered breathlessly as she stroked him, his eyes rolling to the back of his head when she began sucking and licking his balls. “Do you like what your baby girl is doing to you?”

He couldn’t utter a single coherent syllable. He could still see that he was in his room, but this didn’t seem real. Like it was a dream. Rey had never sounded this sultry, this seductive before, and he felt himself keen when she put him in her mouth again.

“I love your cock, Daddy,” she crooned, kissing from the base to the tip. “So big...so hard for me...”

She took him again in her mouth, took him so deep he could feel the back of her throat, felt her do her best not to gag, her lips clenching all around him. What she couldn’t take in her mouth, she squeezed in her hands, and soon, he was bucking up to chase the delicious warmth she could give.

He reached down to hold her head, his fingers curling into her hair as he fucked her sweet little mouth, moaning as she gurgled all around him. His head was spinning, his body moving on its own accord, and he could feel the pressure tightening in his abdomen. He was getting close, and he thrust upwards in earnest, chasing after his climax.

She let him go before he reached his peak, and he practically whimpered.

“Don’t worry, Daddy...” Rey hushed him, running a finger over his lips. “Baby girl’s got something better for you...”

Through half-lidded eyes, he watched her crawl up his body and hike up her nightgown to reveal the smattering of curls between her legs. She wasn’t wearing any underwear, and he felt his cock twitch.

Then, she lined up his cock and began guiding him into her pussy.

He groaned when he felt the puffy lips descend on the tip, devouring him in an agonizingly slow pace. He could feel the beginnings of the ridges from within her, the entrance tightening with each descent.

Rey stopped for a moment to whimper. He could feel strong resistance in her flesh, and his eyes flew open to see her beautiful face contorted in pain.

All at once, the sleepy haze disappeared, and horror dawned on him. This wasn’t a dream. This was real!

Moving faster than he had ever moved in his entire life, he pulled her off him and rolled to his side, pinning her down on the bed, his eyes wild as he searched between their legs. There was no blood, and she hadn’t made it past half of him.

The relief was short-lived as anger took hold, and he gripped Rey’s shoulders, shaking her. “What the hell were you thinking, Rey? I told you we shouldn’t be doing this!”

“B-But I want to,” Rey stammered, frightened by his outburst. “It’s our last night together and—”

“To hell with what you want!” Ben spat, tightening his hold on her shoulders, making her wince. “I’m doing all I can to protect what we have and you’re ruining it!”

“I just want to be with you one last time, Ben,” Rey sobbed, tears running down the sides of her face. “I love you.”

That should have stopped him. Should have melted his heart. And it did, but only for the second it took him to regain his senses.

“If you love me, you wouldn’t have come and tormented me,” he rasped. “If you love me, you would have waited.”

“Four years,” Rey wept, her words broken. “Four years, Ben. That’s forever away.”

“Love...true love requires sacrifice,” he said, almost in a growl, rage, sadness and disappointment clawing at his throat all at once. “I’m willing to wait. Willing to make that sacrifice for you. For both us. And if you’re not...then I have to wonder if you really love me as you say you do.”

Rey looked like she had just been slapped, her sobs stopping all at once. And when he saw the hurt in her eyes, he knew his words had cut deeper than he had intended.

His features softening, he let go of her shoulders and sat up. She rose from the bed, but wouldn’t look at him. “Rey...I...”

She held up a hand and shook her head. Wordlessly, she slipped out of the mattress and hurried out of the room, the slamming of the door shaking him to the core.

He stared down at his hands—the same hands that had carded through her hair as she brought him to bliss, the same hands that had gripped her shoulders until she grimaced in pain. And it was in those same hands that he buried his face as he screamed into the night, howling out all the pain that seared at his heart.

* * *

His mind was foggy from the lack of sleep, his eyes staring blankly as Threepio and Artoo marched past him in the foyer with Rey’s luggage, carrying it to the waiting Benz. Maz oversaw everything because he himself couldn’t. All he could do was stand dumbly at the sidelines, watching everything unfold.

Rey was leaving. And after everything that happened last night, all the hurtful words he had thrown her way, he began to wonder if she would even want to come back to him after the four years was over.

“I think that’s everything,” Maz declared, hands on her hips as she tried to catch Ben’s eyes. “I’ll go get Reynabelle now.”

He nodded in silence and watched the old maid walk up the great steps before disappearing into the hallway. He stood patiently by the door, his eyes towards the stairs as he waited for one last glimpse of Rey. After a while, he saw them emerge, Maz’s hand around Rey’s shoulder.

He swallowed. Rey was wearing one of her dresses again, all laces and frills, her chestnut hair coming down on both shoulders, a pretty bow atop her head, her face expressionless like a doll’s. There was no trace of the young woman he had thought he’d come to know—only a little girl, broken beyond repair.

Maz had her stop beside Ben. “Reynabelle, is there anything you would like to say to Benjamin before we go?”

Rey shook her head, and without looking at him, walked out of the front door and headed towards the Benz.

“She’s just in a bit of shock, I’m sure,” Maz reassured Ben as he watched Rey slip into the back seat. “She’ll come around once you visit this weekend. What time should we expect you?”

“I’ll be there at nine in the morning,” Ben answered absently, his eyes not leaving Rey.

“Just in time for breakfast then.” Maz nodded and said her goodbye before heading towards the waiting vehicle.

All too soon, Artoo started the car, and Ben took several steps out to the porch, eyes on the back of Rey’s head as the Benz headed out of the property.

He willed for Rey to look back, to give him one last glance before they disappeared through the gates.

She never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Ben Solo pain train keeps on chugging along, though there was a quick stop at smutsville.
> 
> I honestly don't know what else to tell you guys except thank you for sticking around. Thank you for all the support, the comments that have helped spur on my writing. And please do not hesitate to sound off your thoughts below. Am always eager to hear you out.


	27. VISITS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben visits Rey in Maz's cottage. Things go as well as you'd expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shit. I didn't intend for this chapter to be this long at all. My outline called for a shorter chapter but my muse wanted to drag it on. Pain train is still chugging on through the dark tunnel guys.
> 
> And oh, we got characters from Star Wars Resistance now :)
> 
> Forgive any errors. I only re-read through this once.

Saturday morning finally came. It seemed like forever before it did, and if it weren’t for the sleeping pills, Ben would have spent many sleepless nights waiting for the day to arrive. He had especially needed a good night’s rest yesterday, to prepare for the two-hour long drive to Maz’s place the next day.

He checked his phone to make sure he was headed in the right direction before turning the Lexus to an unpaved path flanked by shrubs. Maz wasn’t lying when she said she lived in the countryside. He had driven mostly through vast acres of farm land with a few houses in between before arriving in town, and even then he had to go to the outskirts to get to Maz’s house.

He stopped in front of a brown one story cottage surrounded by a white picket fence. It looked quaint and cozy, but nowhere near the size of Alderaan Manor, and he wondered if Rey was adjusting to the smaller confines of her new home. He had certainly asked after her through texts, had even tried calling her several times but he received no reply. It was clear that she was avoiding him, and it hurt. But now...now he would get to see her again. Maybe even talk to her. Smooth things out a little bit.

He cut off the engine and grabbed the bouquet of lilies he had brought with him from the passenger seat as well as a manila envelope before emerging from the car, taking in a breath of fresh country air. He straightened his gray button down shirt and smoothed out the wrinkles of his black trousers before walking through the fence gate, hurrying up the steps of the small porch and pressing the buzzer.

It didn’t take long for Maz to answer the door, and she welcomed him with a smile. “Benjamin, you’re just in time. I’ve just finished preparing bacon, eggs and hash browns. Are you hungry?”

“Starving. It’s been a long drive.” He smiled back and stepped inside, looking around at the space which held the living room and the dining room, his eyes training on the small corridor which he just knew led to the bedrooms. “Where’s Rey? Still in her room?”

“Yes, I’ve been telling her to come out since this morning.” Maz let out a frustrated huff. “You go sit yourself at the table, Benjamin. I’ll go get Reynabelle.”

Maz left for the corridor, and Ben took a seat at the table, setting the bouquet and manila envelope beside his plate. Breakfast smelled delicious, and he looked forward to eating with Rey. It had been days since they last shared a meal together, and he missed that. Missed watching her take dainty little bites of everything, missed talking to her over food, missed her smiles, her laugh, missed her presence beside him. Sure, Maz will be with them, but he didn’t mind so long as he had Rey sitting by his side again.

Maz emerged from the corridor, and the look on her face wiped the smile from Ben’s lips. “I’m sorry, Benjamin. Reynabelle...she refuses to come out.”

“Why? Is something wrong? Is she sick?” Ben started to stand but Maz shook her head.

“She says she doesn’t want to see you.”

Ben lowered himself back in his seat and stared at his plate, all appetite suddenly gone.

Maz sat beside him and patted his hand. “Did something happen with you two?”

Ben blushed at the question but quickly composed himself. “We...we had a fight. Seems she really doesn’t like this new arrangement.”

Maz nodded solemnly. “I know. She has barely come out of her room ever since she got here. But that should all change starting next week, when she goes to school. Speaking of which, do you have the papers from her previous school?”

Ben handed her the manila envelope, and Maz did a quick check of the papers inside. “I think everything’s in here. And by the way, what happened to that boy who hurt Rey? Did they ever find out who vandalized her room?”

Ben took a sip of orange juice. He had had to fill in Maz about what happened in Raddus Hall, in case the new school asked why Rey had to be transferred on such short notice. “Auntie Amilyn called me the other day. Said they couldn’t expel Dameron due to a lack of evidence and the confession was inadmissible because of the way I got it out of him. They did suspend him though, along with that girl...I believe Connix was her name? They found red spray paint in her backpack and in the end, she confessed.” He grew quiet for a moment. “Will you tell Rey that? About Dameron and Connix? I mean, it doesn’t matter much I suppose since she doesn’t go to Raddus Hall anymore, but maybe it will make her feel better.”

“I will,” Maz promised before standing up and taking the plate beside Ben’s. “I’ll bring Rey her breakfast first, and then we’ll eat.”

“Give her these too.” Ben quickly handed over the bouquet of lilies, which Maz took with her free hand. “And tell her I miss her.”

The smile on Maz’s face was sad as she disappeared into the corridor. It was a while before she came back, and when she did, the sad smile remained. “Well, she took the lilies at least. She’s putting it in a vase right now.”

That perked up Ben a bit. It wasn’t much, but it was something, and he would take it.

His appetite returning, he and Maz have an uneventful breakfast, talking mostly about the arrangements with Rey. The paperwork to transfer legal guardianship would have to wait a bit, he said, because he had to take it up with his lawyer. In truth, Ben wanted to drag it out as long as possible. Being Rey’s legal guardian seemed to be his last connection to her, and he didn’t want to sever that any time soon.

Maz went on to talk about Colossus High, one of the two schools in town where Rey was going to be enrolled. It’s a nice, respectable school. No uniforms so Rey would have to wear her own clothes. Ben promised to send Maz some shopping money so Rey could buy more suitable clothes. “No more dresses if possible. I don’t want her to stand out or to be bullied because of it.”

Maz nodded in understanding and finished her meal, after which, she took the plates to the sink to wash.

Ben waited around for a few hours more, hoping that Rey would finally emerge from her bedroom. Lunch time rolled around, and still no Rey in sight. Maz had had to again, bring her food in her room and when it became clear to Ben that she wouldn’t be coming out, he finished his lunch, said his goodbyes and left, his steps as heavy as his heart.

* * *

The next few weekends would be more of the same. Ben would come over for breakfast and lunch, bringing lilies for Rey while she remained in her bedroom, refusing to come out and see him. And if it weren’t for the photos Maz showed him on her tablet, he might have thought Rey had completely disappeared from the face of the earth.

“This was Reynabelle on her first day.” Maz showed him a photo of a somber Rey, standing in front of a typical school building. She was still wearing one of her dresses, and she stuck out like a sore thumb amongst a sea of t-shirts and jeans.

“I thought I told you to have her wear more casual clothes,” Ben gently reminded the old woman.

Maz sighed. “I tried to make her wear them but she refuses. She says the dresses keep people away.”

Ben grew a little alarmed. “She...doesn’t have any friends?”

Maz shook her head. “Not that I know of. Poor thing must still be traumatized from what happened with her and her friends in her old school.”

Ben’s hands curled into fists, his heart breaking at the thought of Rey eating lunch by herself, talking to no one and walking through the school corridors alone, bumping shoulders with strangers.

Maz put a gentle hand on his. “Don’t worry, Benjamin. She’ll come out of her shell eventually. We just have to be patient and give her time.”

Ben nodded. He will be patient. He will give her time.

And perhaps one day soon, she will finally come out to see him.

* * *

“Reynabelle made some friends.”

“Oh?” Ben looked up from his waffles to look at Maz, who was beaming like a proud mother. It had been a month since Rey moved in with the old servant and Ben’s only glimpse of her had been through pictures.

“Yes. She’s been talking non-stop about them all week, and I got to meet them yesterday.” Maz produced her tablet and showed Ben photos of Rey with her friends, pointing at each one. “This is Tam. This is Synara. This is Neeku and this good looking young man beside her is Kazuda Xiono. He was the first one to approach her. They’re all in the same grade together.”

Ben stared at the photo, then swiped the screen to view the next ones. Rey was wearing casual clothes now, and for the first time in a long time, he saw her smile. And he felt his heart ache painfully and pleasantly at the same time.

He swiped some more. In each photo, Rey looked like she was having fun with her friends—going out to town, eating at a local cafe, hanging out at a playground. But the one other thing Ben noticed besides Rey’s smile was the boy, Kazuda Xiono. He seemed to always be around Rey, either standing or sitting close to her, or looking at her with what he could only describe as admiration.

He felt himself grow tense.

“Benjamin? Are you okay?”

“It’s nothing,” Ben denied and handed Maz back her tablet. He shouldn’t over think this, he thought. He shouldn’t be jealous of every guy that shows a hint of attraction towards Rey. It was to be expected. Rey was a very beautiful girl, heartbreakingly so. And she loved him. They may not be in good terms at the moment, but she still loved him. She would never look at any other guy like she did him.

Right?

* * *

With each passing week, Ben became more and more dependent on sleeping pills. His doctor recommended he see a psychiatrist, maybe even a therapist. Get some antidepressants. Get his issues worked out. Get to the root of his sleeping problems. He refused. He would deal. He just needed something to help him sleep.

Rey still refused to see him, or answer his calls and texts, and the more time passed, the more he felt like he no longer existed to Rey. Still, he visited without fail, brought bouquets of lilies without fail. The only solace he took was the fact that Maz assured him that Rey took care of the lilies until they wilted, so he made sure to bring fresh ones every weekend.

Conversation with Maz always centered on Rey—what she was doing, how she was doing in class, and by the looks of things, she seemed to be doing well. She still hung out with her friends, though the more time passed, the more photos Maz showed him of just Rey and Kazuda together.

“Who’s this Kazuda kid?” Ben tried to ask casually, but the question came out terse.

Maz stared at him for a moment before she took the tablet from Ben’s hands. “Kazuda Xiono happens to be the son of the town mayor. He’s a good kid.” A pause. “Reynabelle thinks he may have a crush on her.”

Ben’s jaw clenched. “And...what does Rey think of him?”

“She doesn’t know him enough yet to know for sure, but she likes him.” Maz wasn’t just being honest. She was being completely blunt, and she continued to be with her ensuing statements. “Benjamin...this is an opportunity for Reynabelle to be with someone her age. She’s finally living life as a normal, happy, healthy teenager, with the potential of having a normal, healthy relationship.”

“But we were supposed to wait four years together,” Ben said, and winced. Even to his ears, he sounded pathetic. “It’s barely been two months since she started living here.”

Maz put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “Benjamin, you can’t hold her to that. She’s young, and you need to let her live her life, to let her grow and blossom into a young woman. And if in the end she still chooses you, then it’s meant to be.”

 _If_ she chooses him. Not _when_. _If_. And he found part of himself shattering.

His visit would be shorter that day. And when he got home, he would go straight to his study to find solace at the bottom of a bottle of bourbon.

* * *

The weekend of his 34th birthday, he arrived at Maz’s cottage with cake and ice cream. Red velvet and Cookies and Cream. Not his own favorites, but it was Rey’s. He’d had to buy the ice cream from town, to make sure it didn’t melt during the drive, but the cake was made by his chef in Alderaan Manor, made just the way Rey liked it.

Maz prepared a little feast of her own: roast chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy. As always, Rey refused to come out, but Ben asked Maz if he could talk to her through the door.

“I doubt you’ll be able to convince her to talk, but okay.” Maz gave her approval as she took the dishes to the sink before heading to her room. “I’ll give you two a little privacy. The least I could do for your birthday.”

Ben greatly appreciated that, and he approached the door to Rey’s room, knocking nervously.

“Yes, Maz?”

Ben felt a shock go right through him. It was the first time he heard her voice in what seemed like forever, and he replayed it over and over in his head. “No, Rey. It’s me. Ben.”

Silence.

“It was my 34th birthday last Thursday,” he continued when she didn’t reply. “I thought we could celebrate it together today. I brought cake and ice cream. All your favorites.”

Rey still did not respond. But he knew she was there. He could see the shadow of her feet from the large gap at the bottom of the door.

“Rey, please,” he said hoarsely. “I’ve been trying to be patient. To give you time. It’s been almost three months since I last saw you or talked to you. Please.”

She still wouldn’t talk. With a frustrated huff, he turned around and leaned heavily against the door, the silence growing more deafening by the minute, and so he decided to talk. He talked about his job, and how he was getting by. He talked about the servants at Alderaan Manor and how they missed her. He talked about how Maz had filled him in on her, about her school, her friends, everything.

He didn’t tell her he had been having difficulties concentrating on work. He didn’t tell her he had turned to alcohol again, and how he couldn’t sleep unless he took sleeping pills. He didn’t tell her about the hollow feeling at the pit of his stomach, about the black cloud that loomed over him, growing darker with each passing day. And he didn’t tell her how he truly felt about her spending time with a certain friend of hers.

Instead, he omitted certain truths. “Maz talks about you and Kazuda Xiono all the time. I understand you’ve become very close to him.” He chewed on his lip, steeling himself for what he was about to say. “Rey...you were right when you said four years is a very long time. A lot can happen in those four years and I...I don’t want to hold you back. I want you to be happy and if this Kazuda can make you happy, I want you to know that...that I won’t stand in your way.”

There was a whimper on the other side of the door. Some shuffling. Then, he felt something poke at his feet, and he saw a gift being slid through the gap at the bottom of the door.

“Is this for me?” He bent down to pick it up. It was wrapped nicely, with a bow that reminded him of the ribbons Rey put in her hair. “Can I open it?”

He received no response, but he took it as a yes and carefully unwrapped the present.

He stared at it. It looked to be a thick leather book of sorts, and when he opened it, he found pressed flowers—lilies—glued on each of the page, and at the bottom of each page was a date which corresponded to all the times he had visited up until last week. The pages were full, telling him that she had pressed every single one of the lilies he had given her thus far, and he felt heat bloom in his chest at the realization that she had been counting the dates. That she treasured the flowers he gave her enough to try and preserve them.

“Thank you.” He tried not to choke on his own words. “I will treasure this. Thank you, Rey.”

He would sleep that night with the book held close to his chest, just as he held on to the hope that one day, he would see her again.

* * *

The next week was particularly hard for Ben. Shipments failed to arrive on time, meetings scheduled left and right, paperwork up to his neck, and to top it all off, Maz had to send him regular updates on Rey and Kazuda. Ben had given his blessing it seemed, so the two had been spending a lot more time together as of late.

Ben knew what Maz was doing. She was easing him into it so he wouldn’t be so blindsided if the two ever got into a relationship but he couldn’t help but feel angry at Maz, despite knowing that she was only a messenger. The reality was, he had no one but himself to blame. He had hurt Rey to the point that she didn’t even want to see him or talk to him. He had told Rey he wouldn’t stand in the way between her and another boy who could possibly make her happy. And now he had to stand by what he had said despite how much it hurt.

Bourbon and sleeping pills. Those were his nightly companions now. One helped dull the pain. The other lulled him into a much needed rest. They were not a good combination, his doctor had said, and begged him again to see a psychiatrist so he could get some antidepressants. He said he would. He never did.

That weekend, he overslept. He had a particularly bad night, and had upped his dosage of the pills and the next thing he knew, he was waking up well past lunch, groggy and irritable.

He drove the two hours it took to get to Maz’s place, fresh lilies in tow. When he arrived at the cottage, Maz welcomed him with open arms, though she was visibly concerned.

“Benjamin, you don’t look too good,” she observed. “Have you been getting enough sleep?”

“I’m fine, Maz,” he lied. “Is Rey still in her room?”

Maz shook her head, which caused Ben to arch his brows in surprise. “She’s in town right now.”

Ben stilled, fingers gripping the base of the bouquet in his hand. Almost without thinking, he pivoted and headed back out the door.

“Benjamin, where are you going?” Maz followed close behind.

“To town.” He slipped inside his Lexus and started the engine. He was surprised when Maz got in the passenger’s seat. “Maz!”

“I’m not going to let you see her by yourself, Benjamin Solo,” Maz warned. “We agreed to supervised visits only.”

“Fine,” Ben sighed and began driving away. “It’s not like I’m going to do anything anyway. I just want to talk to her.”

“Yes, but I’ve seen that look on your face before.” Maz pointed, and he was relieved to find that she was grinning. “You’re too excited for this. You’ll need someone to keep you grounded especially since we’ll be going somewhere public.”

Ben grinned back and drove away. For the first time in months, he was actually smiling. He would get to see Rey again. She probably wouldn’t want it seeing as she had taken great pains to avoid him, but this seemed to be the only opportunity he would ever have to see her again, and he would take it.

“She’s in the local coffee shop,” Maz informed him after checking her phone. “Shouldn’t be hard to miss.”

Coffee shop. Perfect. They would have a bit of brew together. He needed the caffeine in his system anyway. They’d talk over steaming cups; catch up on everything they had missed. Maybe even share a smile. And dare he hope, he would let him hold her hand?

The thought sent excited jitters through him. He was so starved for her that even just the thought of a simple touch from her was getting him giddy. They would take things slow. They would work their way back together. Maybe not in each other’s arms, not until the four years was up, but at least as much as Maz would allow.

He parked the Lexus near the center of town, his eyes homing in on the coffee shop across the street.

With the lilies on hand, he crossed the street, and that was when he saw her. Sitting by the large shop window. Sipping on a paper cup with what looked like her name on it.

_Rey._

 He stepped closer. She didn’t see him. She seemed to be lost in thought. Smiling as she took another sip. She looked healthy. Happy. And she had never looked more beautiful. She wore a white cardigan over her yellow sun dress with the flower prints, her brown hair combed to one side. It suited her.

Nervously, he held the bouquet of lilies with both hands as he prepared to go around the shop to get to the main door.

He stopped when he saw him. That boy. Kazuda Xiono. Walking in to sit on the empty chair in front of Rey, a tray of coffee and cookies in hand. Rey beamed at him and rose from her seat, leaning over to kiss Kazuda on the lips.

The bouquet hung limp in one hand as Ben stared at the scene before him. Rey’s perfect pink lips on someone else’s. The fires of rage ignited within him, only to be quickly extinguished by the icy drops of rain from the dark cloud that had been hovering over him the last several weeks.

The kiss ended, and he found himself growing numb. He barely even felt Maz’s hand on his forearm. “Benjamin...I’m sorry...”

He took his arm away and marched back to his Lexus, throwing the bouquet of lilies in the trash along the way. Maz called out for him, but he couldn’t hear her from all the screaming inside his head. He thought he heard Rey calling out his name too, but he knew it was only wishful thinking, and he got into his vehicle, driving away with tires screeching.

Only three months out of the four years had passed.

Rey had moved on.

He hadn’t.

His visits stopped abruptly.

He would never set foot in Maz’s cottage or that town ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it hurts guys, but just hold on. The tunnel may be long and dark but there might be a speck of light in the distance.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for your support and your readership and especially your comments. It feeds the muse and the muse wouldn't be whipping at me every day to finish otherwise. So please don't be shy about sounding off your thoughts in the comments section below.
> 
> Next chapter will probably be the darkest thus far. But you know what they say. The darkest hour is just before the dawn.


	28. DARK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben goes to a really dark place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the title suggests, things get really dark in this chapter. Please mind the new tags. This could get triggering.
> 
> Fairly short chapter.
> 
> Oh, and I spent a bit of time making this cover for Blossoming. Hope you guys like it :)
> 
>   
>    
> 

Two weeks had passed since he last visited Maz’s cottage. Two weeks since he last saw Rey. Two weeks since that incident in the coffee shop, and it still tore at his insides, searing like a hot knife. It had been all that consumed his thoughts, almost all times of the day, tormenting him with the memory of Rey’s lips on someone else’s.

_She hadn’t waited for him._

To say that he was a mess was an understatement. His assistants and his secretary had had to work overtime to pick up the slack. His work was suffering; his life spiralling out of control; the dark cloud looming large over him, suffocating him with terrible whispers. He was a useless. He was worthless. He was pathetic. Stupid. Unlovable. It got so bad he finally went to see a psychiatrist, who got him on antidepressants.

He shunned the idea of a therapist entirely. What was he going to say? That he was madly in love with his 14-year-old stepdaughter? That he had been in a physical relationship with her? That seeing her with someone else, a boy her age, was driving him insane? No, just no. Client confidentiality be damned, he just couldn’t risk it. He’d be lucky if he wasn’t reported to the police. He had enough problems on his plate already, and more seemed to be piling up.

And so he went about his days, burying himself in work, trying but failing to appear in control. His employees noticed it, he was sure. He could see them looking at him curiously, hear them whispering. His appearance was less than impeccable; his suit wrinkled, his tie loose, his face unshaven, his usually perfectly combed hair disheveled. He looked like a man who had given up, and most days he felt like he had.

Three months. Three months was all it took before Rey fell in to someone else’s arms. He should have seen it coming. Maz had prepared him for this inevitability but it didn’t make it hurt any less. What made it worse was that he had been the one to give her his blessing. He had only wanted her to be happy even if it wasn’t with him. He knew there would be consequences to his words. He just didn’t believe she would actually go through with it. He had believed too much in her love for him, just as he had believed too much in Annabelle’s love. Now, both women—mother and daughter—had left him shattered, but somehow, this felt worse.

He thought about that kiss again. How casually Rey had shared it with that boy. There was every indication that it wasn’t their first kiss, and his body revolted at the thought of the many other kisses she and that boy could have shared. The many times they could have been alone. The possibility that she could have...

No. He would not go there. He couldn’t afford to let his thoughts wander in that direction. His mind was already going into dangerous places as it was, pulling him into ever darkening thoughts until the only relief to be had was in a bottle of prescription pills.

“You’re a mess, boy,” Chester Chewbacca, one of the company’s co-founders and a member of the board, said to him one day after finding him in his office, hands shaking as he took another pill.

“I’m fine, Uncle Chewie,” Ben said, using the burly man’s nickname. Chewie wasn’t just a member of the board. He was also his father’s best friend. Watched him grow up. Seen him through his ups and downs. Now he was seeing him at one of his lowest points.

“Who are you kidding? Look at you! You look like shit.” Chewie was never one to mince words. “Last time I saw you like this was when your wife cheated on you. But even then you were still able to get it together.” Chewie sighed before putting a heavy hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Listen, boy. Whatever shit you’re going through right now, you need to deal with it before it kills you. Take a break. Take the week off if you have to. The company will still be here when you get back. I’ll make sure of it.”

Ben hadn’t needed much convincing. He knew he was becoming a liability, and so he had gone home early, retired to his room and with the help of some sleeping pills and a few shots of bourbon, he slept the day away.

That was how he would spend the next few days—alternating between sleep and awake, though the two seemed to meld into one another, leaving him dazed and confused. He wasn’t sure what was real and what was a dream, because all of it felt like one long nightmare.

Maz would come by to check on him when she wasn’t working, doing what she could to talk him into eating, into taking care of himself. Even Rey was worried about him, Maz had said, but he didn’t believe her. Why would Rey even bother with him now when she was happy with someone else? Rey didn’t need him anymore.

_No one did._

His staff could go on with their lives without him. The company would still run without him. Rey would continue to move on. Live a normal life. Go on to marry and have kids. There was an entire future ahead of her.

The least he could do was make it secure.

For what seemed like the first time in months, he found a purpose. He cleaned himself up. Went to work with a better disposition, so much so as to surprise his employees. He treated his assistants to lunch, as an apology for being ‘such an ass’ the last few weeks. He sent Chewie a bottle of his favorite whiskey. He smiled more. Ate better until the color returned to his cheeks. Even Maz noticed and was relieved.

Nobody knew he had stopped taking his medication.

He called his lawyer, Larma D’Acy. He needed to make a new will, he told her. She seemed suspicious, asking him what spurred this on. He assured her it was nothing. Just taking precautions since he planned to travel outside the country soon. Anything could happen.

_Anything could happen._

He had D’Acy come over the next day, and after pouring through everything with her, he signed the will along with his two witnesses, the Solo family’s long time servants, the butler Threepio and the chauffeur Artoo. Artoo signed quietly. Threepio voiced out his concerns, saying the master was too young to be thinking of such things. Ben only smiled.

He looked at the will one more time, his eyes swimming through the words. Rey would be well-taken taken care of now.

There was only one thing left to do.

He called the entire house staff to his study and told them to take the next few days off. Take a vacation. See their families. They would be paid of course, as thanks for a job well done. They need not worry about him. He will be fine on his own. Most of the staff was only too happy to accept. Only Threepio showed some misgivings, practically hovering over Ben until he was ordered out of the house.

Ben waited until the next day to ensure he was alone. He didn’t want any interruptions. Made sure to switch off his phone.

He woke up to the howling of the wind and the roar of thunder. An unexpected storm. Perfect.

He did his best to make himself comfortable and happy that day. He hummed as he prepared his own breakfast of corned beef hash and omelettes. Once he finished eating, he went to the living room, turning on the flat screen tv as he grabbed the pen and paper he had swiped from his study. One more thing he had to write before he went.

He put the paper on the coffee table and scribbled as he listened to the news, enjoying the warmth from the fireplace. Torrential rain pouring in. Flooding in surrounding counties. No one would be able to get to him now.

_No one._

He filled the paper with happy thoughts. He needed to make the person who would read it understand that he was in a better place. That he hadn’t felt this happy and relieved in a long time. That he had lived a full life, that nobody should have any regrets or feel any sort of guilt.

The power suddenly cut off just as he finished writing his note. He could hear nothing now but the raging storm outside, firelight illuminating the room and casting long shadows on the walls.

With all the rain and floods, it could take days for the power to come back. Not that it mattered. He wouldn’t be around that long anyway.

He folded the note carefully and set it aside before digging in to his robe and taking out two bottles of sleeping pills. He also reached out for the decanter of bourbon he had placed on the coffee table.

These should do the trick.

He opened the first bottle of sleeping pills and slowly raised it to his lips.

A vision of Rey with tears streaming down her face flashed through his mind but he quickly shook the image away. She didn’t need him anymore. She would be better off without him. And he needed to do this. To ensure that her future was secured.

He loved her. And it was because he loved her that he needed her to be completely free from him.

He opened his lips and began tilting his head back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those suffering, please know that suicide is never the solution to a temporary problem. If you or a loved one is in crisis of this sort, please call your local suicide hotline or seek professional help.
> 
> That being said, I think I've peppered some clues in previous chapters so some of you may already have had an idea that this is where things are headed. Ben is in a really dark place right now.
> 
> Next chapter will be Rey's POV. I have written most of it, so it shouldn't take too long for me to post.
> 
> Song that I listened to for this chapter as well as the next one: "I'll Never Love Again" by Lady Gaga (A Star is Born) *I just got too affected by that movie okay? T_T *
> 
> The night is darkest before the dawn.


	29. DREAD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look back on the last several weeks with Rey...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is Rey's POV. We go back a few weeks so it's a longer read than the previous chapter.
> 
> Please forgive the mistakes as I only read through this once.

Several weeks ago...

Rey did nothing but cry every since she left for Maz’s place. She cried once the Benz was far enough from the manor. Cried when she got to her room in the cottage. Cried several nights after that.

Maz tried to soothe her, telling her that this was for the best. For her and for Ben.

She couldn’t tell Maz that she had come into Ben’s room and tried to seduce him, only to have him not only reject her, but outright question her love for him. And that had cut her deep. Hadn’t she shown enough how much she loved him? Given so much of herself to him? And was it too much to ask to be with him just for one night more? Wouldn’t he have wanted the same thing if he were in her shoes? Four years was a lifetime away...

Her heart was still bleeding by the time he arrived for his first visit. Angry and hurt, she outright refused to see him. She wanted him to feel her pain, to know what it was like to be rejected. Then of course, he had to have come with a bouquet of lilies, and she almost went out to see him.

Almost.

A few days later, when the flowers started to wilt, she began a new ritual of pressing them into a leather bound book, marking each with the date of Ben’s visit. She wanted to preserve them forever if she could, if only to remember the feeling she had when Maz first brought them in, knowing they were from Ben. She was still mad at him to the point of still refusing to see him and ignoring his calls and texts, but she couldn’t deny what she felt for him. She still loved him, even if Maz didn’t believe her.

And Maz would continue to question her. In the coming weeks, she would try and convince Rey that what she felt for Ben was nothing but a flight of fancy, borne from a long period of manipulation. Rey hated it when Maz talked like that, because it made her love for Ben seem so dirty. Made Ben seem like a creep. Ben didn’t manipulate her, she insisted. He didn’t force her to do anything, least of all force her to fall in love with him. And he loved her, otherwise he wouldn’t sacrifice so much for both of them; wouldn’t be willing to wait four agonizing years for her.

It was in that moment, when those words tumbled out of her mouth, that Rey realized and finally understood what Ben was doing for her. What Ben was doing for them. And when Rey pointed it out to Maz, even she admitted that Ben’s feelings for her may be genuine.

“But it’s not Ben’s feelings I’m questioning here. It’s yours,” Maz said. “You’re too young to even know what real love actually is.”

“How can I prove to you that I really love him?” Rey asked, her muscles tense from arguing.

“By giving yourself another chance at loving someone else,” came Maz’s reply, her voice soothing. “You need to experience a normal, healthy relationship with someone your age. That way, you’ll have something to compare it to. And if in the end, you still want to be with Ben, then I won’t stand in your way, but only once you turn eighteen.”

Rey knew who Maz was referring to when she mentioned someone of her age. By this time, Rey had already been befriended by Kazuda Xiono and his friends, and Maz encouraged her friendship with Kazuda, deeming him and Rey a perfect match.

Kazuda was nice. Pleasant to the eyes, funny, if a little on the clumsy side. But she supposed that was part of his charm. Still, he was nothing like Ben. He was immature, at times timid, not even a hint of being dangerous at all, which she thought was probably a good thing. Kazuda was...safe. A sound choice.

Rey resisted at first. Even after Kazuda made his intentions clear, she still wanted to remain loyal to Ben, despite the fact that they weren’t on speaking terms, though that was no one’s fault but her own. She had dragged out this act of refusing to see or speak to him for so long that she honestly lost all nerve to come out and face him, ashamed of her actions yet at the same time too proud and still hurting from his rejection to apologize. Perhaps the next week she would come out, she told herself, but once he came around, she would continue to put it off. She still had time. And she needed time.

Then, the week of his 34th birthday came. She tried to psyche herself up to talk to him, but she froze the minute he started speaking to her through the door. He pleaded with her, and her heart wanted to go to him as she listened to him talk. She even reached for the knob, trying to muster the courage to turn and open it. But when he started telling her that he knew about Kazuda, and that he was going to step aside if it meant her being happy with someone else, she broke down into silent tears. She knew he was being selfless, but a bigger part of her wanted him to be opposite that. She wanted him to fight for her. To assert himself. Tell her that she was his and his alone. But once again, he was letting her go, and it devastated her. Was she not worth holding on to?

She gave him her gift of pressed flowers then, hoping at least that he would understand what the lilies meant to her. That he still meant so much to her despite all the pain, all the tears and heartache, that she counted down the dates of his every visit because she did appreciate it. She hoped he would treasure the gift like he said he would.

Maz told her that night, as she cried, that Ben had given her the gift of choice, and that she shouldn’t waste it. Once again, the old woman encouraged Rey to give herself another chance at a healthier relationship in light of Ben’s blessing, and so she opened herself up to Kazuda.

Kazuda was sweet. Awkward during their first few dates, but sweet and very much the gentleman. He was not dangerous at all like Poe, but not exciting like Ben. He was just...harmless.

He didn’t feel like home like Ben did.

Still, Rey tried with Kazuda. See if she could be happy with him. And for a time, she was. He gave her friendship. He gave her companionship. He did his best to make her smile at all times. And she appreciated that.

Their first kiss was just as awkward as he was. It happened on the night of their third date, and Kazuda had just walked her up to Maz’s porch when he leaned over and pursed his lips, shutting his eyes tight. She almost laughed at his expression, and relented on giving him a peck on the lips. She felt like she owed him that much.

There was nothing earth-shattering about the kiss, or the few kisses after that. They were all chaste, almost friendly kisses, mostly quick pecks—nothing at all like the kisses she shared had with Ben, which left her weak and craving for more. With Kazuda...Rey mostly did it to make him happy. It felt nice to make someone else happy for once, even though she knew she was being unfair to Kazuda. She liked him, but she didn’t love him. Maybe someday she would. He was a nice boy. The kind Maz and the rest of the world would certainly approve of.

But her heart longed for something else.

Then, one weekend, Rey woke up with the courage to see Ben again. She would face him this time, own up to her mistakes. Apologize for her behavior and tell him how much she appreciated what he was doing for them. Tell him how much she still loved him. She was going to have to come clean about Kazuda too. Hopefully Ben won’t take it so hard. He did give her his blessing after all. Then, she was going to have to break it gently to Kazuda.

Maz would probably be disappointed, but she would try to cushion the blow by saying she had at least tried to make it work, but the heart wants what the heart wants. And she would wait, she thought. She would wait just like Ben.

But then Ben didn’t show up for breakfast or lunch. Rey heard from Maz that he would be running late. He had overslept, and so she decided to accept Kazuda’s text invitation to go out for some afternoon coffee while waiting for Ben to arrive.

While Kazuda ordered his coffee, Rey lost herself in thought, imagining what it would be like when she and Ben saw each other again later. She tried to think of the best case scenarios...maybe him bringing her a bouquet of lilies again. They would look at each other, speak with their eyes rather than their lips. Then, she imagined he would at the very least, reach out to hold her hand.

She smiled. She would like that, she thought. A simple touch from Ben. Even the thought of it sent a thrill through her. She missed him so much.

Kazuda appeared with his tray of coffee and cookies and leaned over, pursing his lips at her the way he always did when he wanted a kiss. She didn’t think; only acted as she leaned over to give him a quick kiss on the lips. Barely lasted a second. Harmless.

Then, at the corner of her eye, she saw Ben’s retreating form from the shop window. Saw him throw a bouquet of lilies in the trash and she instantly knew he had seen them.

_He had seen them kiss._

She ran out of the coffee shop then, calling out his name but either he didn’t hear or he deliberately ignored her as he got into his car and sped away.

That had been the last time she saw him. For the next two weeks, she waited, but he didn’t show. She mulled over sending him a text or giving him a call, but she kept chickening out at the last second. She didn’t think she could bear it if he yelled at her, rejected her, or didn’t answer her, and even if he did answer, she wasn’t sure how to explain herself, so she resorted to asking Maz after him.

Maz didn’t come back with good news. Ben had withdrawn, it seemed, barely ate and kept to himself. But he’ll be alright, Maz assured, though Rey wasn’t so sure about that.

One day, Maz returned with a surprising turn of events. Ben had apparently given the entire house staff a few days of paid time off. He was getting better too, Maz said. He was eating again and he seemed much happier. Rey smiled along with the old maid, even though an unpleasant feeling settled at the pit of her stomach.

That same day, Maz offered for Rey to come with her to visit her sister a few counties away. Rey politely declined. Something told her to stay put, so she lied about having the cramps, even though her period ended days ago. She promised Maz she would be fine on her own, and to take as much time with her sister as she needed.

Maz left that afternoon, and Rey was alone in the cottage for the first time since she got there.

She woke up early the next day to the howling of the wind and the rattling of windows. A freak storm. Ominous.

Her phone rang, and she quickly took it from the night stand, thinking it was Maz.

It was an unknown number.

She answered anyway. “Hello?”

“Mistress Reynabelle?”

“Threepio?” Rey asked incredulously. The old butler had never called her before. “How did you get this number?”

“All of the staff has your number, Mistress Reynabelle, in case of emergencies,” Threepio said as-a-matter-of-factly before his tone turned serious. “Speaking of which, is Maz there? I’ve tried calling her but I couldn’t reach her.”

“She’s with her sister,” Rey explained, frowning as the branches of a nearby tree clattered against her window. “She will be there for a few days.”

“Oh dear, oh dear,” Threepio bemoaned. “I know that county. There’s flooding there too. Oh dear, oh dear.”

Rey shifted on the bed, suddenly concerned. “What’s wrong, Threepio?”

Threepio exhaled deeply. “It’s Master Solo. I’ve been trying to reach him but his phone appears to have been turned off and he isn’t answering the landline. I was hoping Maz would go check on him. I would have, but there’s flooding where I am too.”

Rey’s heart began pounding with dread. “Why would you need to check on Ben?”

Threepio was quiet for a moment. “I’m very worried about him, Mistress Reynabelle. He has been so depressed lately, and then suddenly, he was just...happy. It’s rather alarming. But what’s worrying me the most is that he’s made a new will.” The old butler paused, and Rey listened to the silence at the other end of the line, the information not really sinking in just yet. “Then he goes and gives everyone paid time off. He’s all alone. I’m just worried that he’s...” Another long pause, followed by a sigh. “It’s probably nothing. I’m sure Master Solo will be alright.”

Threepio started to say goodbye when Rey stopped him. “Threepio, how do I get to the manor from here?”

* * *

Rey bounced her leg and wrung her fingers as she stared out of the bus, looking for something familiar—a house, a street, a landmark, anything. She had been traveling close to two hours now, and all the rain was making it difficult for her to spot the bus stop that Threepio mentioned she should get off at.

She asked the bus driver again if they were close to where she needed to be, and again he said they were. He had been saying that the last couple of bus stops.

Worry and frustration made her bounce her leg faster, as though it will help make the bus run faster. Threepio had protested to her going to the manor by herself, but she had insisted. There was no flood in her area and she was the closest to the manor at the moment.

All the while, Rey continued to try and call Ben’s phone. She knew it would only lead to voicemail, but she was getting desperate. She hoped Threepio’s worries were unfounded, that Ben was alright and had either forgotten to charge his phone or simply had it turned off for no particular reason. But the more time passed, the more her gut told her something was very wrong.

Depression. Sudden happiness. A new will. Having all of the servants leave all at the same time. It all led to one horrifying conclusion which she tried not to entertain. He wouldn’t...would he?

The bus stopped, and the driver told her this was her stop. She rose from her seat and pulled up the hood of her jacket before hurrying out of the bus.

She began running. The neighborhood was familiar now, despite the low visibility from the pouring rain. The wind howled all around her, slapping her cheeks with icy droplets as she ran, sneakers splashing against the wet pavement. Just a little further, and she would be at the manor. She prayed her stamina would hold out. She was by no means athletic, and she wasn’t exactly dressed for the weather, having only thrown a jacket over her white blouse and knee-length skirt. In her haste to leave, she hadn’t even brought an umbrella with her, and soon she was soaked to the bone. She hoped she wouldn’t get sick from this.

One more turn, and she almost cried with relief at the sight of Alderaan Manor, peeking out from behind the surrounding trees. She hurried to the automatic gates, ready to scale it if she had to, only to find it unlocked. She looked at the house and could find no lights through the windows. The power must be out, and she thanked her lucky stars.

She entered the gates and splashed through the path until she reached the front door, tugging at the double door’s handles.

It was locked.

Heart lurching to her throat in fear and still too breathless from the run to speak, she raised a fist and began banging against the door.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Rey reach Ben in time? Find out in the next installment of Blossoming!
> 
> As always, thank you dear readers for sticking with me through this dark, unconventional tale. I still haven't started writing the next chapter yet, as I need to take a bit of break but I'll try not to make you wait too long. I already have an idea on what happens next and definitely know how the story ends and I hope you stick around with me to find out. Thanks again for all the comments, subscriptions, bookmarks and hits! I never imagined we'd hit 30k hits, but here we are :) Until the next chapter!


	30. NOTE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did Rey arrive in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for waiting guys. I had a bit of a struggle with this chapter. It's a pretty long read too, at around 4000+ words. Enjoy!
> 
> Only read through this a few times so please forgive the mistakes.

_He sees himself slumped on the couch, head lolled sideways, his whole body limp and unresponsive. On the table are the two bottles of sleeping pills and the decanter of bourbon, all three now empty of its contents._

_The chemicals ravage his insides. He drifts in and out until darkness takes over. His breathing slows until it stops entirely._

_His body fights on, the will to survive kicking in, but it is fighting a losing battle. His heart desperately pounds in his chest but soon, it slows down too._

_His eyes have long since closed. Just a few minutes more and he will be gone from this life. Gone to a better place where there is no pain. Only peace._

_In his last few moments, his mind drifts back to Rey. She will cry over this. It is to be expected. He wishes she wouldn’t. He doesn’t deserve her tears. She will get over him. She has gotten over him. She will be surrounded by people who will give her emotional support. Financially, she is already secured thanks to his new will. She will not want for anything. He hopes this will make up for all the times he made her cry, including this._

_He starts to wish he had said goodbye to her, but no. He doesn’t even deserve that either. He deserves nothing from her. Nothing._

_He wills himself to think of happier things. He wants his last moments to be full of light hearted thoughts, even as his mind begins to slip away. He focuses on the future for Rey. A future he has made sure to lay the ground work for. In it, she has grown to be the beautiful woman he has always thought she will be. She is all smiles as she plays with her two children, and when her husband arrives, she runs into his embrace._

_It is a beautiful image; one he can die peacefully with. But then it takes a life of its own as Rey and the children turn to look at him, as did the husband._

_The husband is him._

Ben’s eyes flew open, his vision fading away until he was back in the living room of Alderaan Manor, the bottle of sleeping pills still raised to his lips, but nowhere near his mouth.

The hand holding the bottle shook, the pills clattering inside the plastic. He willed his hand to move, but it wouldn’t, two sides of him once again in conflict.

 _“Come on_ ,” he thought to himself angrily. _“You’ve made a decision. You’ve prepared for this. You can’t stop now!”_

And yet he _was_ stopping. Before long, he set the bottle down on the coffee table and buried his face in his palms.

 _“Coward!”_ his mind screamed. _“Selfish coward! You’re supposed to want to free Rey of you; not wish to shackle her further!”_

But his heart...oh, his heart remained silent but stubborn, and he couldn’t even muster the will to take the bottle in his hands again.

Loud knocks suddenly rang from the main door.

He raised his head from his palms and turned to the direction of the foyer. He was imagining things, he thought. No one could get past the electric gates.

Then again, the power had been cut off by the storm, which would leave the gates automatically unlocked...

More loud knocking, more urgent this time. He could hear it even through the howling wind outside.

Annoyed but at the same time curious, he stood up from the couch and walked to the main door, swinging it open.

And he felt the breath knocked out of him when he saw who it was.

“Rey.”

“Ben.”

He swallowed, unable to say anything else, and he secretly pinched his leg so he would wake up.

But no. She was still there. Standing soaked in her jacket, blouse and skirt, brown hair pasted to her cheeks. She was real. And she was shivering.

“C-Can I come in?” she asked, a little nervous. Ben blinked and quickly stepped aside so she could enter, which she did, tracking mud and water on the polished floor.

He followed her as she took slow steps from the foyer to the living room.

“Is Maz coming too?” he asked.

“No. Just me.” Rey’s voice was small, eyes nervously looking around. “I hear you sent everyone away for a few days.”

“Yes.” Ben swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared at her. Some primal part of him stirred at the reminder of how alone they were in the great mansion, but he quickly steered himself away. “Let me get you a towel.”

He turned and hurried up to his room, his shock slowly starting to wear off. Rey was here. Alone. Why had she gone all this way to see him? And through a storm no less? So many questions ran through his mind but he didn’t have time to ponder on any of them. He needed to get Rey out of those wet clothes, and he blushed deeply at his own thoughts. What the hell was wrong with him?

With a growl, he grabbed a fresh towel and one of his larger button-down shirts from the dresser before hurrying back down. Rey didn’t have any clothes left in the manor, so he was going to have to find a way to get her soaked clothes dried in this weather.

He found her standing in front of the fireplace with her back towards him. “I got you a towel and one of my shirts. We could get you some fresh clothes from the mall, but it’s flooding on the way to downtown and...”

Rey turned around, and he froze. In her shaky hands was the note he had written earlier, and on the coffee table, clear for all to see, were the two bottles of sleeping pills and the decanter of bourbon.

He glanced up and saw the tears flowing down her cheeks. She was trembling, and he could see anger and sadness cut through her face at the same time.

She stomped over to him, and he shut his eyes, fully expecting her to slap him, to scream at him, to go into hysterics and tell him he was insane.

He didn’t expect her to wrap her arms around him and bury her face into his chest.

“I’m sorry, Ben,” she sobbed. “I’m so, so sorry. This is all my fault.”

“No, it’s not, Rey,” Ben denied and stroked her hair, now stringy from the rain. “I was the one who made the decision. Not you.”

“B-But I kissed him,” she sniffled. “I kissed him and you saw. And I refused to see you for months. I should never have done that. I should have come out. I should have...”

“I gave you my blessing, remember? And you were mad at me.” He gathered her into his arms, and all the pain, the heartbreak, even the dark cloud seemed to fade away.

“It was childish and petty,” Rey admitted through tears and stared up at him, her eyes red and glassy. “Ben...the world’s not better off without you. _I’m_ not better off without you.”

“But you were doing so well,” Ben said, his voice cracking a little. “I thought...that if I took myself out of the equation, that you’ll have a better chance at a normal life. You won’t have to worry about me or even wait for me. Especially now that you’re with that boy.”

“I don’t love Kazuda,” she refuted vehemently. “I tried to love him. Maz wanted me to. But I couldn’t. You’re all I could think about. You’re the one I want to be with. And if you had killed yourself I...” she trailed off and began sobbing again.

“I’m still here, Rey. I didn’t go through with it. I thought of you and...I couldn’t do it.” He didn’t elaborate on what else he had seen, and instead, began swaying her in his arms. “You saved me, Rey. You saved my life.”

Rey burst out crying then, and Ben shushed her, his lips finding her forehead. They stayed that way for a while, with him swaying her in his embrace until her sobs turned into sniffles and hiccups.

“Let’s get you some water first,” he suggested. “Afterwards you can take a shower and change.”

Rey nodded. Ben started to lead her to the kitchen when she stopped and stared at the coffee table. The sleeping pills and the bourbon were still there.

Without a word, he walked over to the coffee table, grabbed the bottles of sleeping pills and threw them into the fire. He then took the decanter of bourbon off the table and walked with Rey to the kitchen, where he made a show of dumping the alcohol down the sink.

Once Rey had gotten her glass of water, he quietly walked her up to her room, where she went to her bathroom to shower and change.

“Ben? Are you still there?”

“Yes, Rey. I’m right outside.” That had been the third time Rey called out to him, as though she were making sure he was still there, and it dawned on him that she was afraid. Afraid to let him out of her sight, and it tore at him that what he did...what he had almost done had traumatized her. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” he added with a promise, if only to assuage her.

“Thank you,” she said through the door. There was a brief pause, the sounds of the shower echoing through before she added, “I’m glad you’re still alive, Ben. I really am.”

Ben said nothing. He was getting too emotional for words, his heart singing at hearing that she still wanted him around. That him being alive made her happy.

After a while, Rey stepped out of the shower and handed her wet clothes over to Ben. He swallowed as he took her in. The button down shirt he had given her to wear was large enough, almost reaching her knees, but still showed enough skin to make his face flush. The sleeves went beyond her hands, and she had had to fold it up to her elbows. Seeing her in his clothes...she looked like she had just...that they had just...

 

“Ben?”

He blinked and cleared his throat. “I’ll...take a coat rack and hang these to dry by the fireplace. Have you had breakfast yet?” Rey shook her head no. “Okay. Head on down to the kitchen and I’ll get you something.”

* * *

 

Ben prepared the same thing he had for breakfast for Rey: corned beef hash and omelettes. He watched her take dainty little bites, taking delight in the fact that she relished every single one.

“You’re a really good cook, Ben,” Rey complimented as she polished off her plate. “You could give Chef a run for his money.”

He smiled for the first time that day, feeling his muscles relax. It felt so good to be around her again. “I picked up a few pointers from Chef through the years. I’m not as good, but I can cook. If you want, I can teach you.”

“Really?” Rey beamed. “Will you teach me how to make spaghetti and meatballs?”

“Is that what you want for lunch?”

Rey nodded.

“Okay then. We’ll have that.” He took her now empty plate and started for the sink when he felt her reach out and touch his arm.

“Ben...are you feeling better now?” she asked timidly, and he gave her a reassuring smile.

“Yes, I am. Better now that you’re here,” he said sincerely, and she blushed. He felt his own blush creep up on him at his own words, and he turned to wash the dishes in the sink. “Why did you decide to come all the way out here, anyway? Not that I’m not glad. I’m curious.”

“Threepio,” Rey answered. “He called me earlier and told me about your...your behavior. And the new will.” That gave Ben a pause. “He was worried about you. That you might...do something. So I decided to go. And when I saw that note you left, I...”

Ben put down the dishes and turned back to Rey. She was still sitting on the stool by the counter, and she was wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Rey.” He dried his hands and strode over to her to cup her face with one hand. “I’m sorry I ever did this. I didn’t realize at the time how much it would affect you. I was in a very dark place...”

“I know,” Rey sniffled, leaning into his palm, and he stroked her cheek with a thumb. “You’re not...you’re not going to do it again, right?”

Ben stared at her, stared into her pleading, glassy eyes. He wanted to assure her that he wouldn’t. But he would be lying if he said that. The dark cloud may have faded for now, but it was still there.

“I don’t know, Rey,” he answered truthfully and dropped his hand from her cheek. “But I promise you, I’m going to get help. I’ll...I’ll see a therapist. Once the storm and the floods are gone.”

“Thank you.” She smiled softly, then reached out for his hand. He took it, and he felt the breath leave his body when she entwined her fingers with his.

“How long do you plan to stay?” he asked, his eyes still on their entangled hands.

“I guess until the servants come back. I’m sorry, Ben, but I can’t leave you alone,” Rey said.

“I don’t want you to,” Ben whispered softly, and their eyes locked on to each other as silence engulfed them.

Outside, the storm continued to rage on, seeming to mirror the emotions roiling inside Ben. Rey was here with him. Finally here with him right after he had almost forever lost the chance to be with her. She had told him she still wanted to be with him. That she was glad he was still alive, thankful even. And now her eyes...oh, her beautiful eyes were saying so much, stirring something inside of him that he had so long repressed.

He could kiss her, he thought. He was close enough to do so. Just one tug from their entangled hands, one step forward, and he could capture her lips in his. But he knew where that would lead, especially now when they were all alone. And so he gently extricated his fingers from hers, trying to ignore the look of disappointment in her face as he crossed his arms over his chest. He had to do this. He had to last the four years, now three years and several odd months. This was all for her.

To try and clear his thoughts, he began asking after her, how life was with Maz and her new school. She was honest in saying she didn’t really like her new school. The kids were a little rowdier, a little meaner in regards to her dresses, and it was only Kazuda and his friends who took the time to get to know her.

Ben found himself digging his nails into his arm a little when Rey talked of Kazuda. The way she described him made him seem perfect for her—boy her age, a gentleman, nice boy, came from a respectable family...everything he would have wanted for her if he were a regular stepfather. Except he wasn’t. He never had been. He had been a distant man to her for years before Fate pushed them together, and now he was closer to her than he had any business being.

Rey continued to be honest with Ben. Maz had been particularly excited to see her with Kazuda and encouraged the friendship to blossom. Ben knew that Maz was doing this to help Rey get over him, but he couldn’t help but think the old woman was more than a little pushy. He knew that he wasn’t really right for Rey, that he was old enough to be her father and that he had a lot of unresolved issues that he still needed to deal with, but did Maz have to push Rey into a new relationship so soon? Then again, he remembered a time when Maz had encouraged Ben to marry Annabelle, particularly after finding out the woman was pregnant with what they then thought was Ben’s child. Maz had good intentions, if a little misguided.

Ben talked about what had been going on with him since Rey left for Maz’s, though while Rey was honest, he had to sugar coat most of the details and gloss over a few topics. He knew that despite every assurance he gave her, Rey would still find a way to blame herself for what he almost did and he didn’t want that. He then admitted to abusing alcohol and sleeping pills, as well as not taking his antidepressants anymore, hoping that the information would lessen the burden of guilt on her.

Rey tightened her lips into a fine line. “Be honest with me, Ben. Was the kiss the reason you...you tried to take your own life?”

Ben held his breath for a moment as he tried to choose his words carefully. “It was...a catalyst, but not the reason. I have...I have issues, Rey. I’ve been suicidal for years, even before we got together. I see that now. If anything, you pulled me through some tough times. When your mother entrusted you to me, I saw you as a purpose, a reason to live because someone needed me. I know that sounds a little selfish, but...you’ve been saving my life since the day you were born, and like I said, it was the thought of you that stopped me earlier.”

“And...what if I was gone?” Rey continued. “What if I had really learned to love Kazuda and left? Or if I got really sick and died? What would happen to you then?”

Ben was left silent by the question for a moment. “I...I don’t know, Rey. I try not to think about it.”

“Ben, you can’t continue to live on account of me. You have to learn to live for yourself,” Rey encouraged.

“That’s a tough call,” Ben smiled wryly. “I’m not exactly fond of myself.”

“I know you’re not. And I wish you would see yourself through my eyes.” She reached out to put a hand on his arm. “Ben, you’re the most amazing, strongest person I know. You care a lot about people. You’re smart, funny when you want to be, diligent, and I think...it takes a special kind of courage to walk away from what you almost did. Even if you say it was because of me, in the end, you were the one who decided not to do it.”

Ben grew quiet as her words sank in. He still couldn’t believe how she could think so highly of him, especially in light of what he did. He had almost left her scarred for life. He would think she would be trashing him and berating him, but instead she had been kind and understanding, and it warmed his heart anew.

“Maybe I should hire you to be my therapist,” he joked, smiling off the way his heart was beating pleasantly in his chest. “How much is your hourly fee?”

Rey pretended to think about it, putting a finger on her chin as she tilted her head. “How about a fee of spaghetti and meatballs?”

“Deal.”

* * *

Ben and Rey prepared lunch together, sometimes talking, sometimes just quietly enjoying each other’s company, though they did have a bit of playful fighting, throwing flour at each other until they were both laughing and smeared with the white powder. The kitchen was a mess by the time they were done, but Ben’s heart and belly were full. He had a hard time believing that this was how the day would progress after all the darkness that had swirled around him that morning. Life still had its surprises, and he had to admit that it may just be worth living after all.

He continued to spend the day with Rey, catching up on everything they had missed the last few months and slowly growing back to each other. By the time night fell, they were already holding hands and smiling softly at one another.

Then came time for bed, and Ben became increasingly nervous as he and Rey made their way to the rooms, flashlights in their hands. The power still hadn’t returned, and the darkness coupled by the fact that they were the only two people in the mansion seemed to drape over them like a blanket, adding to their isolation from the rest of the world. The thought made Ben’s mouth dry, and he did his best to maintain control. Three years and some months, he chanted to himself. Three years and some months.

Once they reached their rooms, Ben let go of her hand. “Good night, Rey. Today has been...it’s been wonderful. Thank you for coming.”

He turned and entered his bedroom, and he was surprised when Rey followed him in. “Rey?”

“I’m not letting you sleep by yourself, Benjamin Solo,” Rey declared as she closed the door, shining the flashlight close to his face. “I told you. I can’t leave you alone.”

Ben sighed. He understood her mistrust, he really did, but it stung a little and he only had himself to blame. “I’ll be fine, Rey. The pills are gone. I promise I won’t do anything.”

Rey scrunched up her nose as she thought about it, and God help him, he wanted to kiss her right there and then. “I’m still not leaving you alone. Not after that. I’ll be too worried to sleep.”

“Rey...I don’t think it’s...wise for us to sleep in the same bed together,” he said in measured breaths.

“Why not?”

He gave her a pointed look, and she raised her head, her lips forming a small ‘oh’ as she understood his meaning. “We’re just going to sleep. We’re not going to do anything. Unless you want to...”

“Rey!” Ben blanched, and Rey laughed.

“I’m just teasing you, Ben.” She giggled some more before heading in to bed and slipping under the covers. “You’re a man of your word. And we did promise Maz we would wait four years.”

“Three years and nine months,” Ben corrected, and Rey’s smile widened as she patted the space beside her on the king sized bed. He gingerly got into bed with her, setting aside the flashlight and turning it off before pulling the covers up to his chin, his back towards her. “Good night, Rey.”

“Good night, Ben.”

He felt rather than saw her shift to a more comfortable position in bed. Soon, she stilled, and if he listened carefully through the howling wind outside, he thought he could detect the faintest of snores coming from her. She must’ve been tired after everything that happened today, poor thing. He was tired too, but he couldn’t seem to sleep. There may be a bit of space between them, as they were lying on opposite ends of the bed, but she was still too close. Closer to him now than she had ever been in months. And on his bed. With him. Alone.

Ben’s throat tightened as he shut his eyes, but his mind bombarded him with images of him and Rey together—how she had felt in his arms, how soft her lips had felt, how delicious she had tasted. He growled as he felt the blood rush through him, and all too soon, he was hard.

His hand started to drift downwards. It was pitch dark. She was asleep. She wouldn’t know what he was doing. Just a few minutes of furious pumping and it would all be over. But he knew that if he started, it would only lead to him wanting more. He was already terribly tempted as it was. And there was still a few more days before the servants returned. Still a few days wherein he needed to exert absolute control of himself.

Huffing in frustration, he took the flashlight and turned it on before slipping out of the bed, not even daring to look at Rey. He needed to find a healthier outlet for all this pent up energy, and so he quietly padded out of the room and headed down the stairs to do what he hadn’t done in a very long time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we finally at the end of the long dark tunnel? And where's Ben going?
> 
> Hope I didn't scare you guys too much with the opening sequence of this chapter. I changed the tense there to present tense and italicized it so it would be different from the rest of the chapters, meaning it really isn't real :)
> 
> I DID think of having Ben OD, but it honestly brought about too much trauma that I don't see how it can be recovered from. Plus it won't lead to the ending I had in mind.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this bit of lightheartedness. I thought we could all deserve a break from the pain train. Now all we have to do is wait to see which route the next train goes to.
> 
> As always, thank you dear readers, for commenting and interacting with me :) It makes writing all the more worth it and fun knowing you guys are reading and enjoying the ride too. So thank you, thank you, thank you!


	31. SONG

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listening to the music of the heart...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting dear readers! I have a long chapter for you today :) A lot of feels I hope, plus a little extra...
> 
> Hope you like this new moodboard I made :)
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

Rey woke up with a start, a film of sweat clinging to her forehead as she took in huge gasps of air. She just had a nightmare. Of Ben walking away into the void, and no matter how fast she had run, she never seemed to reach him until he disappeared from her sight.

Still reeling from unpleasant feelings brought about by the dream, she sat up from bed, momentarily disoriented. It was so dark, she couldn’t see anything, and only a few flashes of lightning from the window indicated that she wasn’t in her room in Maz’s cottage. She was in Ben’s room.

All at once, everything that had happened the past day came back to her—Threepio’s ominous phone call, her hasty trip to Alderaan Manor, Ben’s suicide note, their subsequent conversations and the time they spent together—all of which led to a deluge of emotions which made her paw frantically at his side of the bed.

She felt nothing but warm sheets, and she felt her heart drop. Feeling around, she got her flashlight from the nightstand and turned it on, only to have her fears confirmed. Ben was gone.

“Ben!” She scrambled off the bed, flashlight in tow as she checked the entire room. Nothing.

She burst out of the room and ran through the corridors, stopping in her tracks when she reached the landing. There was piano music echoing through the foyer. Had Ben taken out their antique crank up gramophone to play some records?

Feeling herself calm down a little, she walked down the stairs and followed the music to the living room, where she found Ben hunched over the upright piano at one side of the room.

She turned off the flashlight, the glow from the fireplace illuminating the space, painting the walls with warm colors and harsh shadows. Ben was only in his pajama pants, firelight highlighting the contours of the muscles of his back as he played.

Rey found herself swallowing as she watched him sway to the dark, ominous tune. She was familiar with this piece, had heard it before whenever Ben cranked up the gramophone, and she wondered if his choice to play this music had anything to do with what he might be feeling at the moment.

Quietly, she padded towards him until she was standing by his side, her eyes on his long fingers as he tickled the ivories. She knew that he knew she was there, and yet he continued to play as though she wasn’t, his fingers moving expertly through the keys.

Finally, she said, “Moonlight Sonata. Beethoven.”

She saw Ben’s lip curl up in a slight smile. “Pretty recognizable, huh?” He finished the piece, the last few notes hanging in the air before he turned in his seat to look at her. “What are you doing awake, Rey? You’re supposed to be asleep.

“I should be telling you the same thing,” Rey said, putting the flashlight on top of the piano and moving to sit on the piano bench with him. She bit her lip and lowered her gaze to the keys, absently pressing a few. “You scared me. When I saw you gone, I thought you...” she trailed off, but the meaning was clear.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said quietly, his head down. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. You were sleeping so soundly. I didn’t want to disturb you. I just...I couldn’t sleep. So I came down here.”

“Why can’t you sleep?”

She saw his eyes flicker towards the dress shirt she was still wearing, the hem hiking up to her hips, allowing the air to cool her thighs. He swallowed and turned away. “Just...just thinking too much, I guess.” He put his fingers on the piano once more and played another tune.

“Chopin,” Rey observed, and the soft smile returned to his full lips.

“You know your music, huh?”

“You play classical music on the gramophone almost every meal,” she reminded, then looked at him thoughtfully. “I didn’t know you could play.”

Ben chuckled. “This piano isn’t just for display, Rey. My mother did make me take lessons.”

Rey swung her legs in time with the music, her feet not quite touching the floor. “You should play more often. You’re good.”

Ben shook his head, body swaying as he played. “I’m not that good. In fact, I’m quite rusty. I only ever play when I’m stressed out. And usually when everyone’s asleep.”

Rey stopped swinging her legs. “You’re saying you’re stressed right now?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” He admitted and abruptly stopped the Nocturne before moving on to another piece.

“Claire de Lune,” she said, and Ben’s smile widened.

She listened to him play some more, allowing the rhythm to soothe her before she steeled herself. “You want to talk about it? About what’s stressing you out?”

Ben missed a couple of notes but he quickly recovered. He played for a little while longer before sighing. “I guess I’m still trying to recover from everything that happened. One minute I was on the brink, and the next thing I knew, there was you.” He stopped playing and looked at her, the anguish in his eyes flickering in the firelight. “I’m sorry you had to go through this, Rey. I’m sorry I scared you. You must be mad at me.”

“I...I was,” Rey said in all honesty, thinking back to what she had felt when she first read Ben’s note. “When I saw your letter and realized what it was, I was angry, sad, frustrated and disappointed at the same time. I...I wanted to lash out.”

“I know you did,” Ben murmured and glanced back at the keys but didn’t resume playing. “I saw your anger. And you should have lashed out. You have every right to lash out. I even expected you to.”

“It wouldn’t have helped things. It would’ve just made everything worse,” Rey pointed out. “Though I admit, I didn’t realize that until I saw that look on your face. You were afraid of me and I hated it. I felt like a monster for even feeling a hint of anger towards you when you were clearly in dire need of help.”

“You’re not a monster, Rey. What you felt was normal,” Ben refuted gently. “Looking back, if I was in your shoes and you had attempted to take your own life, I would have been mad at you too. But probably I’d be more angry at myself.” He paused, realization dawning. “Are you...are you mad at yourself right now?”

Rey didn’t answer immediately, but soon nodded. “I am. I felt like I should have known. That I could have prevented all of this if I hadn’t closed myself to you.” She paused and took a deep breath. They had spent the entire day together but she had tried her best to make their conversations light hearted for his sake. Now that they were talking about his attempt in earnest, she was finding it difficult to breathe. “I’m so sorry, Ben.”

“Sweetheart, no. Please don’t blame yourself.” He scooted closer, pulling her into a sideways hug, and she put her head on his shoulder, relishing in his warmth. He hadn’t called her by that endearment in a very long time, and it felt good to hear it again. “Like I said, I have a lot of issues going back years. And I will get help, I promise. And...maybe you should come to therapy with me too.”

Rey blinked up at him. “What?”

“I think you need it,” he said softly, his large hand combing through her hair. “I don’t want you to live your life in constant fear of what I might do. I want you to stop blaming yourself. We’ll arrange it with Maz somehow. Maybe have the sessions on weekends so it won’t disrupt your schooling. What do you think?”

Rey was quiet for a moment. He was making plans for the future, which she took as a good sign, and she felt herself washed with relief.

“Okay, Ben. I’ll go,” she said with a smile. “It’s not exactly what I imagined for our weekend dates though, but okay.”

“We’ll still go on dates after every session,” Ben suggested, then turned somber. “I’ve never really asked you out on a date now, have I?”

“It’s not exactly going to be a date either way. Maz will be there.” Rey found herself scowling at the thought of Maz tagging along with her and Ben everywhere. But it was the arrangement they had agreed with her. “We’re going to have to have to tolerate her being with us all the time for the next four years because I’m not going anywhere, Ben.”

She felt him grow still beside her. “Do you...do you mean that?”

“Every word,” she smiled, and she was brought back to a time when they had a similar conversation in the kitchen, right before they had almost lost themselves in each other. She blushed at the memory, and Ben must have remembered too because he gently removed his arm from her shoulder, and they basked in the awkward silence.

Then, Ben began playing again. A lighter piece this time, and Rey smiled at the happy tune. “Mozart.”

Ben smiled back. “You really know your way around classical music.”

“That’s because you keep playing what I’ve been hearing from the gramophone for years,” Rey told him.

He stopped playing and crunched his knuckles, the smile still on his face. “Alright then. How about something more contemporary?”

He started with another piece, and Rey instantly recognized it too. Though rather than telling him that she knew the song, she instead began to sing.

_“Moon river, wider than a mile_

_I'm crossing you in style some day...”_

She saw him turn to stare at her, his fingers still dancing over the keys as she continued to sing.

_“Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker_

_Wherever you're going, I'm going your way...”_

He missed a note because he was staring at her so intently, but just like earlier, he was quick to recover.

_“Two drifters, off to see the world_

_There's such a lot of world to see_

_We're after the same rainbow's end, waiting, round the bend_

_My Huckleberry Friend, Moon River, and me...”_

He lingered on the last few notes, his eyes never leaving her as he lifted his hands away from the piano. “That was...that was beautiful, Rey.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Rey shyly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“It was,” Ben insisted, his sincerity making her cheeks turn pink. “I mean, I’ve heard you babble tunes as a toddler and heard you hum a few times over the years, but I’ve never heard you sing before. You have a beautiful voice.”

“Thank you, I guess...” Rey said, finally accepting the compliment before she said, “Now it’s your turn. Sing me something.”

“I...I don’t really sing. I’ll just stick to playing, thank you very much.”

“Come on, Ben.” She nudged him with her elbow. “I sang for you. Now you sing for me. It’s only fair.”

He glanced at her then, and she fluttered her lashes at him and clasped her hands under her chin. “Pretty please?”

He sighed. “There is this one song I know. It’s from an obscure little movie in the 80’s that I absolutely hated and I don’t care for the singer either.”

Rey frowned. “Then why would you sing me that song?”

“Because...” he licked his lips, his fingers hovering over the keys. “Because it spoke to me.”

Rey straightened in her seat as Ben began weaving the first few notes.

Then, in a nervous baritone, he started to sing.

_“Fate led you straight to me_

_You came and suddenly_

_I was weak beyond control_

_I had given you my soul_

_My life was no longer mine...”_

The song was slow, achingly so, and Ben’s voice swept through the words with such feeling, Rey couldn’t tear her eyes away from him, even as he refused to look at her.

_“I love you more than life itself_

_I’ll never love anyone else_

_I've tried to stop myself so many times_

_It hurts me...”_

She felt her heart constrict in her chest. The words were simple and yet just like Ben said, it spoke volumes. About him. About them.

She saw him swallow, seeming to struggle before soldiering on.

_“A love like ours_

_Where can it go?_

_I must be strong_

_'Cause now I know_

_It's wrong for me to stay and love you...”_

Rey’s face fell at that last line. His hands continued to move, taking the song into what she could only assume was the next part when he abruptly stopped. She looked at him puzzled, and he stared back at her with a pained expression.

“I told you I couldn’t sing,” he said glumly. “And it’s not a very good song. I’m sorry.”

“No. You sang it beautifully. And I understand why it spoke to you.” She lowered her gaze to her legs, clasping her hands over them. “Ben...do you really think it’s...it’s wrong to love me?”

He didn’t answer. And she felt tears prickle at the corners of her eyes.

She blinked the tears away and put on a smile, opening her mouth to change the subject when he reached out for her clasped hands, his eyes dark and intense as he said, “It _is_ wrong, Rey. I can’t deny that. But at the same time, I can’t deny what I feel for you. It started physically, I know. But you wormed your way into my heart and now I can’t let you go without tearing myself apart.” His bare shoulders heaved as he took several deep breaths while Rey found herself holding hers. “After Annabelle broke me, I never thought I could love again. You were the last person I expected to fall for and not a day goes by that I don’t lament the fact that the timing isn’t right. But I’m willing to wait, Rey. I’m sorry if my actions yesterday made you believe otherwise, but I am willing to wait. And live. For you.”

He tightened his hold on her clasped hands, and Rey released a shaky breath. She could feel her eyes start to water again as her emotions bubbled up to warm her heart.

“I love you, Rey,” Ben said with the gentleness of a morning breeze, even as the wind and rain continued to rage outside. It was such a juxtaposition, to have this quiet, intimate moment between them while chaos ensued all around, perfectly mirroring what Rey was feeling at the moment—calm, peaceful, yet at the same time overwhelmed with the intense feelings brought about by Ben’s declaration. “I love the way your head tilts as you listen to me. I love the way your face scrunches up when you’re thinking of something intensely. I love the sound of your laugh when I manage to churn out a joke or two. I love the way your smile brightens up the room, the way your eyes light up when you’re happy. And I want to keep on making you happy for as long as I live. And I will continue to live. Because I love you.”

Rey’s shoulders shook as sobs escaped her throat. With damp warmth running down her cheeks, she flung her arms around Ben’s shoulders, burying her face at the crook of his neck.

“I...I love you too, Ben,” she sniffled, her tears on his skin. “I love you so much...” She couldn’t articulate her feelings as well as he did, but she hoped he understood, hoped he could feel that she loved him just as fiercely.

Soon, his arms found its way around her small frame, pulling her close to his much larger one. She fit nicely against him, and she wiped the last of her tears, smiling at the feel of his lips on the top of her head.

She pulled back to catch his gaze, and she quickly saw the way his eyes darted to her mouth. Her breath catching in her throat, she watched him lean forward and hesitate, their lips separated only by inches, their breaths mingling.

Rey made the decision for him and for the first time in what seemed like forever, closed the gap between them and captured his lips in hers.

* * *

 Ben groaned deeply when her lips pressed against his. It was like the first drop of rain after a season of drought, and he savored the way her mouth slotted against his, how pliant her lips were under his attentions. And when she slipped her tongue in to dance with his, he was lost.

Thunder rumbled softly through the skies, but his head was too full of the memory of her singing to hear anything else, and he found himself falling in love all over again. The last time they had kissed had been months ago, in the kitchen, before Maz caught them, and he had dreamed of nothing but this moment since then. And now it was real, and it made him feel so much.

He cupped the back of her head and pulled her closer to him, revelling in her every curve, the warmth of her every touch as her hands moved to frame his face. All at once, he felt all the tension leave his body, and if she hadn’t been holding him together, he felt as though he would have melted in her arms.

“I love you, Rey,” he whispered huskily into her lips, eyes closed in reverence, allowing himself to be swept up by the feeling.

“I love you too, Ben,” she whispered back just as breathlessly, the words music to his ears, and his heart sang in a way that he never could.

The logs crackled in the fire, burnt wood falling into the hearth as he moved her until she was straddling him on the piano bench, his lips never leaving hers as if to do so was sacrilege. His mouth worshipped and plundered hers, his heart chanting her name as if it were a prayer as he continued to hold her in his arms, gently rocking her to a quiet hymn until he felt her grind against his hardness.

He tore his lips away and pressed his forehead against hers, their shoulders heaving with breath after heavy breath. “W-We should stop.”

“I know, but I don’t want to,” Rey mumbled, almost with a whimper.

“I know you don’t. I don’t want to either, but we have to.” Ben sighed and pulled back, his eyes taking in how flushed her face was, how swollen her lips were from his kisses. “You and I both know where this could lead. And I’m not going to walk you down that path until you’re ready.”

Rey nodded quietly and remained in his arms a while longer before climbing off him, smoothing out her dress shirt. He stood up and adjusted himself in his pajama pants, a little embarrassed that the tent wouldn’t go away. She had ignited fire in his blood and there seemed to be no way of extinguishing it at the moment.

“We should head to bed,” he suggested and held out his hand. She took it as he grabbed the flashlight where she had left it atop the piano, and led her back to his room.

They both sank on opposite sides of the bed once more, though they unconsciously scooted a little closer to each other than before, the mattress shifting under their weight. A new kind of tension surrounded them now, one so palpable as to leave a taste in Ben’s mouth. He knew what he wanted. Knew what she wanted, and it took every ounce of will power not to turn towards her and pull her into his arms again.

Time passed slowly, the night still agonizingly long. Ben remained on his back, staring into nothingness while his mind did its best to skirt around thoughts of what could have been. He was still so hard it almost hurt, and he was so tempted to take himself in hand, if only to relieve some of the pressure.

Then, he heard little whimpers coming from Rey’s side of the bed.

He turned to look at her. He could barely make out her outline, and he wondered if she was having a bad dream when a flash of lightning lit up the room, and he saw the unmistakable sight of her hand inside her panties, the blanket that had been covering her pushed down to her ankles.

Then, it was dark again. Still, her whimpers continued, and he was unsure whether she saw him looking, or if she knew he was looking and didn’t care. Regardless, he soon found himself kicking the blanket off him and freeing his cock from the confines of his pajama pants, groaning as his hand found its way around his length.

He glanced at her in the darkness. Another momentary flash of lightning, and he saw her staring back at him, eyes glassy, mouth agape as she continued to fondle herself.

There was no mistaking it. She saw him just as he saw her.

Darkness enveloped them once more. No longer restraining herself, Rey’s moans reached Ben’s ears, and he joined her through groans and gasps as he stroked his cock vigorously. He was blind in the dark but he could see images of her more clearly in his mind—her pretty little mouth that could smile disarmingly at him one moment, and engulf him in the next; her expressive hazel eyes that glaze over whenever he brought her to bliss; her chestnut hair that felt soft between his fingers; her pale skin that glided like silk over his.

He increased his tempo, feeling himself arch when he heard the distinct sounds of Rey’s arousal. He could almost smell it even; taste it in the air. She was so close yet so far, the small space between them seeming like an insurmountable distance. But it was a distance he could not cross despite the lines that were being blurred. Both of them were not really touching or consummating their love, but he knew that in their minds, they had long since broken barriers, had long since joined as one.

Ben groaned as he squeezed from the base to the tip, and he could feel himself leaking. He longed to be with her, to reach out and muffle her erotic moans with his mouth, to replace her fingers with his own and bring her to the precipice. He ached to have her around him, to have her small body writhing beneath his as he connected with her in the way that he shouldn’t. And it was that thought that sent him over the edge, warm cum spurting up his stomach, his chest, and he let out a guttural, almost animalistic moan.

He closed his eyes and breathed through his mouth, his ears still filled with Rey’s incessant moaning. She was still going at it, not quite there yet, but he hoped she was close. He wanted her to feel this same high, this same afterglow he was experiencing but he knew he had to try and help her along somehow.

Slowly, tentatively, he reached out and took her free hand in his, caressing her palm then entwining his fingers with hers. She gasped at the contact, and he felt the bed shake a little as she increased her speed. He continued to caress her hand, allowing himself only this small bit of contact to stimulate her. Any more, and he would not be able to take it. Any further and he would lose control over himself.

“Cum for me, baby,” he whispered just enough for her to hear, lowering his voice to soothe and arouse her. “Cum for Daddy.”

She let out a few gasps. Then he felt the bed move as her body pitched forward, her shrill wails echoing through the room, rivalling the rumbling thunder outside as she reached orgasm, their entangled fingers tightening around each other.

“Good girl,” he praised as she came down from her high, his thumb caressing her knuckle, and he felt his chest swell with feeling when she caressed him back. “I love you, baby girl.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

He felt himself stir a little when she called him that. It had slipped so naturally from her tongue, desire mixing with overwhelming affection that he was left breathless.

Still, he managed to hold back, settling for just holding her hand in his, and soon they would drift off to sleep, finally finding a semblance of peace after so much turmoil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Declarations of love abound. Emotions are high. Lines are being blurred. And they still have a few days together...
> 
> This chapter gave a whole new life to the "mutual masturbation" tag ;)
> 
> Pretty much I found an excuse to write in Rey singing, just as Daisy Ridley sang Moon River. [Check it out here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svhoyGL4sHA)
> 
> For Adam's singing voice, you can [check it out here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6BvNFNFEXQ)
> 
> For the song Ben sang to Rey, [you can find it here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_RU8nw2tcY)
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. We're actually getting towards the end of Act 2 of this story. Probably just 3 or 4 chapters more before we get to the final Act, which is Act 3. In the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts. So don't be shy and sound off your comments below. Always love interacting with you guys! Until the next chapter!


	32. TIME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A song can sway the body and the mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm so sorry for making you guys wait so long for the next update. I know this is the longest I haven't updated Blossoming and that's mainly because I struggled a lot with dialogue and plot elements and themes. I had to have my editor/husband Masayuki work closely with me because I really want to get this right and I hope I got this right. Thank you so much for your patience. Now on to reading!
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

Ben woke up first that morning, the pouring rain from outside playing a steady beat on the roof and windows. Quietly yawning and stretching himself, he turned on his side to watch Rey sleep. Sometime during the night, their entwined hands had separated, and hers was now on the pillow as she lay on her side facing him, her expression soft and peaceful, brown hair strewn all around her.

He sighed almost dreamily. He had never seen anyone so beautiful. Then again, there was her mother, who she resembled greatly, but Annabelle didn’t have Rey’s softness, and she certainly didn’t have his heart the way Rey did.

Then, Rey began to stir, eyelashes fluttering until her bleary hazel eyes met his. She smiled, and he felt his heart flutter.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he greeted with a smile.

“Good morning, handsome,” she greeted back, and he chuckled deprecatingly.

“I’m not handsome, Rey. We both know that.”

“Maybe you don’t, but I happen to think you’re one of the most attractive people I know,” Rey affirmed, then propped herself up with an elbow. “You really should learn to like yourself more, Ben. See yourself the way I see you.”

She put her hand on his cheek, and he turned his face so he could kiss her palm, closing his eyes as his lips nibble sensually at the meat between her thumb and forefinger. He felt Rey shudder. He was still a little hot and bothered from what they did together last night, and he pressed his lips to her wrist, trailing kisses up the underside of her arm.

The moment was broken with the distinct ringing of a phone. Ben sat up as an irritated Rey grabbed her phone from the nightstand, her expression changing to trepidation when she looked at the screen. “It’s Maz.”

Ben felt his stomach drop. With everything that had happened yesterday, he had actually forgotten about Maz. He had even failed to ask Rey the specifics of where the old woman was.

Rey waited three more rings before she answered. “Yes, Maz?...Yes, I’m at Alderaan Manor...Yes, I’m with Ben.” A pause. Ben could hear chatter coming from the phone. “No, Maz, you don’t understand, I...If Threepio called you, then you would know why I had to come here.” Rey worried at her lip. “Yes, he was about to kill himself. I managed to stop him.” She looked at Ben a little sheepishly then, and he decided to give them some privacy by going to the bathroom. He needed a shower anyway, especially since he still had dried cum on his chest and stomach.

Still, he strained to hear. Not that he was eavesdropping, but Rey’s voice was loud so as to speak over the din of the rain. “I’m sorry, Maz. I can’t just go back to the cottage. I can’t leave Ben alone, you know that. Besides, the storm hasn’t let up...No, nothing’s happened. I slept in my own room.” The lie flowed so easily from her lips that Ben felt a little guilty for inadvertently compelling her to hide the truth. “No, I’m not going back until you or any of the other servants get back. Ben absolutely cannot be left alone right now. He needs me.”

Ben slid off his pajama pants and boxers in one go before stepping into the shower, drowning out Rey’s argument with Maz under the water spray. The water was so cold, he had to finish quickly and before long, he wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out to find Rey, still in bed, the phone now back on the nightstand. She was fuming. “Are you okay, Rey?”

With a sharp breath, she said, “Maz insists on me going back to the cottage. She’s still stuck because of the floods at her sister’s county, but she’s threatening to wade through it just so she could haul me back home.” She paused. “I shouldn’t say home. The cottage isn’t my home. This is my home. With you.”

 “I understand how you feel, sweetheart,” Ben said, trying to hide how touched he was with her words. “But we did agree to this arrangement for the next four years.”

“Three years and nine months,” she corrected. He only smiled.

“Why don’t you go take a shower, hmm?” he suggested. “I’ll get you another one of my shirts. Then we can go check to see if your clothes have dried.”

Rey nodded and started to get off of bed when the lights suddenly flickered on. “Oh wow! They got the power back on. At least I won’t have to take a cold shower.”

Ben nodded quietly and went to his dresser to hand her another white button up shirt. She took it and entered the bathroom, his stare lingering long after she had closed the door.

Outside, rain continued to pour but the winds no longer howled, though the turmoil inside Ben raged. The power was back on. Which meant the floods must be receding in some areas enough for power lines to be fixed. Which meant he didn’t really have long left with Rey.

Trying to ignore his apprehension and sudden bout of sadness, he changed into a pair of dark gray pajama pants, not even bothering with a shirt. He may not consider himself handsome, but he was quite proud of his physique, even more now that he often caught Rey ogling him.

“Rey, I’m going to head down to make breakfast, okay?”

“Okay!”

He stepped away from the bathroom door and headed downstairs, stopping at the living room. The TV had come back on too, with the news anchor providing a weather report. Rain was still forecasted for the next two days, with flood waters expected to recede around that time as well.

Ben grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, hating the reminder that time was running out fast for him and Rey. But then again, what did he expect? This was just borrowed time. Soon, she would go back with Maz and he would once again be alone, seeing her only on weekends. They could still call and text daily, but it just wouldn’t be the same.

Feeling the tension roll through his shoulders, he instantly set his gaze on the piano, and walked towards it, sitting himself to play some music. He played the song at a slower tempo than it was supposed to be, allowing him to bask in the melody until he was swaying to the music.

All too soon, the piece was over, and with it, the return of his worries. What would he do with himself once Rey left? Was he going to be alright? Would he be able to get his depression in check? He was going to have to see his psychiatrist again soon, maybe even get some recommendations to a good therapist. He was going to need all the help he could get.

“That was a beautiful song.”

A little startled, Ben turned around in his seat to look at Rey, who stood motionless beside him. Her hair was still damp and cascaded down her shoulders. Clutched in one hand was her mobile phone. The white shirt she was wearing was still too big for her petite frame, but was smaller than the one she wore yesterday, exposing more of her legs especially when she moved to sit beside him.

Tearing his eyes away from her exposed skin, he asked, “How long have you been standing there?”

“A while.” She tilted her head at him. “What’s that song called?”

“Somewhere in Time, composed by John Barry,” he answered, and began playing the song again. “It’s from a movie of the same title. My mom loved that movie and would play this tune for hours. My dad got so annoyed he said he would shoot himself in the head if she ever played it again. So she let me play instead.”

“Your mom found a loophole.” She grinned.

“Yes she did.” Ben smiled, hands still on the keys.

After a moment, Rey asked, “What were your parents like?”

Ben continued playing, though his fingers trembled a little as he did. “They were doting when I was younger. But as I grew older, they became too busy with the company. Pressured me to do my best in my studies so I could become the successor they wanted me to be but I could never live up to their expectations. I kept failing at every turn, kept on disappointing them. In the end, I was never enough.”

“You are enough, Ben.” Rey put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Look how much the company has grown through the years. And all that is because of your hard work and dedication. You would have made your parents proud.”

“I don’t know about that. They were plenty disappointed in me the night before they died. We got into a heated argument and I said some things I shouldn’t have.” He stopped playing and turned to look her in the eye. “Rey...life is short. We don’t really realize how little time we have left. So tell your loved ones that you love them before it’s too late. You never know when the next day could be the last.”

“I know that. I...I almost did lose you after all...” Rey was quiet for a moment, Ben slowly absorbing what she had just murmured. Then, she said, “I love you, Ben. Please don’t forget that.”

“I love you too, Rey,” he said gently and pulled her into a sideways hug. “You have no idea how much.”

They stayed that way a while, just leaning into each other and sharing warmth. The flames of the fireplace had long since died, adding to the chilly morning air, and Rey shivered a little.

“How about PBJs for breakfast?” Ben recommended. “And maybe some hot cocoa too? Maybe that will warm you up.”

Rey nodded. “But first, can you play me the song again?”

Ben beamed. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

* * *

Rey couldn’t forget the song, Ben noticed. She hummed it as they ate breakfast, hummed it as they played board games, hummed it in between quiet conversations that continued to flow freely between them. She even asked him help to download the song on her phone. It got so he finally suggested they watch Somewhere in Time after they finished their lunch.

“You have it?” Rey asked, looking up from her phone in surprise.

“Not really. But it should be on Netflix.” He stood up from his dining room chair and walked over with Rey to the living room. There, he turned on the TV, accessing Netflix and searching until he found the movie. “There. Would you like me to make popcorn before we start?”

“That would be awesome!”

He smiled, liking her enthusiasm. After a while, he came back from the kitchen with a large bowl of popcorn and settled on the couch with her, one arm over the backrest as she snuggled against him. She was quiet for most of the movie, only commenting a little here and there and when it got to the end, she began sniffling.

“It’s okay, baby.” He stroked her hair and planted a kiss to the side of her head. “They still got together in the end. See?”

“I know. But it’s bittersweet because they couldn’t be together in life.” She wiped her tears away and took a deep breath before looking up at him. “If you could, would you do what Richard did for Elise and travel back in time for me?”

He shook his head slowly and smiled. “No, sweetheart. What I would do is travel forwards in time for you. That way, we won’t have to wait four years to be together.”

Rey smiled a little, leaning her head on his shoulder as the credits rolled and the music continued to play.

“I love this soundtrack,” she remarked after a time. “It’s so beautiful and moving.”

“It’s the perfect wedding song to dance to,” Ben commented, then instantly regretted it. Where in the world did that come from?

Nervously, and without turning his head, his eyes darted to Rey. She was still snuggled quietly against him, though she seemed a bit stiff.

He started to change the subject when she said, “Is there like...an actual song for this? With lyrics?”

“There actually is. On Youtube.” Still nervous, he moved his arm away from her, set the empty bowl on the coffee table and grabbed the remote. “Do you want to listen?”

“Yes, please.”

Ben worked on the remote until he got to Youtube, typing in the song and picking out a video with lyrics included. There were several versions, but he chose the one by Tracy Huang and Kevin Ong.

Then, the song began to play.

_Somewhere in time_

_You came into my world_

_Love was beyond what I imagined love would be..._

Rey suddenly stood up, placed her phone on the coffee table and grabbed his hands, tugging them. “Get up, Ben.”

“What? Why?”

“Because we’re going to dance.”

Bewildered, but buoyed by her eagerness, Ben stood up and moved with her to a more spacious part of the living room. Rey put both hands on his waist, and he chuckled.

“You’re supposed to have your hand on my shoulder and one hand joined with mine. Like this.” He repositioned her hands over him, then placed one hand on her hip before he began swaying her gracefully to the music.

_Now just a dream_

_I hold till the end of time_

_Hoping someday we’ll find what we left behind..._

“How did you learn how to dance?” Rey questioned. She had been following his lead, and was as graceful on her feet as he imagined her to be.

“I took a few lessons. For mine and Annabelle’s wedding.”

“Was it a big wedding?”

“It was.” He refused to elaborate. He had spent an obscene amount of money on their wedding. It was what Annabelle had wanted and he had only been too quick, too in love, too foolish to agree.

_There’ll be a day_

_Our paths will meet again_

_Well cross the bridge of time and space to a love that’s free..._

“I’d like a small, intimate wedding,” Rey said in a small voice, her eyes on where hers and Ben’s hands connected. “Just a few guests. Maybe a garden wedding.”

“What about a beach wedding?” Ben thought aloud. He was slowly getting swept up by the music, swept up in his musings with Rey. “You’ve never been to the beach, right? I’ll take you out there someday.”

“That would be nice.”

_No more goodbye_

_No lonely waiting_

_That’ll be our day to love, to live all our dreams..._

“I bet you’d look beautiful in a white dress.” Ben continued, now lost in his imagination. “Especially with flowers in your hair.”

“And I bet you’d look good in a tux,” Rey said, finally turning to look up at him with a smile.

Then, her face turned serious, as did his. He swallowed, and he suddenly felt everything more acutely—her hand in his, his other hand on his shoulder, the closeness of her. There was an implication to this conversation that hovered over them, that neither of them seemed to want to pursue...or were too afraid to pursue. He didn’t know which.

_If we believe and keep alive_

_The hope that love will stand the test of distance and time..._

“This song’s really beautiful,” Rey whispered, gaze locked on to Ben’s. “I can listen to it forever.”

Ben nodded softly. “Mmhmm. Like I said. It’s the perfect wedding song to dance to.”

_Then we shall find our new tomorrow_

_Somewhere in time..._

“Was this yours and Mother’s wedding song?” Rey pursued.

Ben shook his head, turning with her in small circles across the room. “No. I wanted it to be, but she wanted something more modern.”

“I’m taking this song then. For my wedding,” Rey claimed, and Ben smiled as he slowly spun her. She giggled when he dipped her and set her back on her feet.

_Someday there’ll be no time between us_

_There’ll just be endless days for us to love and share..._

Rey pressed her head against his chest, and he held her close, planting a kiss on the top of her head. He was getting lost in the melody of the song, in thoughts of white laces and promises, of flowers in her hair, maybe even a bouquet of lilies in her hands. He just knew she would look so beautiful that even now his heart ached pleasantly at the thought of it. 

_We’ll rise above the tears of our lonely years_

_Into a world beyond today_

_In another somewhere..._

She lifted his head from his chest and locked gazes with him once more. He looked at her as her pupils dilated and her lips hung open with unspoken words. Then, he felt her move up on her tiptoes as she began to close her eyes, and he was only too eager to close the distance, leaning down to kiss her lips.

_If we believe and keep alive_

_The hope that love will stand the test of distance and time..._

He dropped her hand so he could cup her face with both hands, deepening the kiss as she wrapped her arms around him. They had long since stopped swaying, and now it was their lips and tongues that danced upon one another to what would be the last few notes of the song.

_Then we shall find our new tomorrow_

_Somewhere in time..._

Time...time was irrelevant when he was with her. And yet time was what they were running out of. Soon, she would be gone, and he felt desperation claw at him, turning up the fervor of his kisses. She kissed him back with just as much ardor, as though she could sense what he was feeling, and soon they were moaning into each other’s mouths, faces angling to accommodate the other, lips and tongues moving in unison.

He stopped kissing her just as the song faded, and the staccato beats of the rain replaced the ensuing silence. Foreheads touching and heavy breaths mingling, he continued to cup her face in his hands, eyes closed as he willed his heart to slow, yet the blood continued to pump through his veins, making his whole body come alive in more ways than was appropriate.

The incessant vibrating and ringing of Rey’s phone cut through the air, shattering the intimacy of the moment. With a huff, Rey pulled away from Ben and stomped towards the coffee table to get her phone, her annoyance multiplying tenfold when she looked at the screen. “It’s Maz again.”

Ben crossed his arms, annoyance also cutting through his features as Rey answered the phone.

“Yes, Maz?” Rey said, her voice verging on being snappy. He watched as her knitted brows slowly rose, and his heart began to constrict when her face fell. “Okay, Maz. Okay.”

She lowered her hand as she ended the call, and Ben had to swallow a lump that had formed in this throat. “Rey? What is it?”

She looked at him then, eyes glistening with tears as she said, “Maz is coming tomorrow to pick me up. Threepio will be coming back too.”

Ben felt his heart sink and his shoulders slacken. He had hoped for at least two more days with Rey. Now he had only hours, and the more the news sank in, the more distraught he became.

Then, Rey began to sob, and he was instantly in front of her, cupping her face and wordlessly planting kisses on her forehead, her tear-streaked cheeks, before finally kissing her on the lips again. He almost sobbed himself when he felt her throw her arms around his neck, could feel the burning of tears behind his eyelids as she kissed him back with as much desperation as he was kissing her. Their kisses this time were sloppy almost, uncoordinated, if a little unhinged, fraught with the overwhelming desire to remain connected in the most intimate way possible.

It wasn’t enough. It was never enough.

And time was running out for them.

“Tell me what you want, Rey,” he whispered in between kisses, eyes closed, lips melding with hers. “Tell me what you want and I’ll do anything. Anything you ask.”

He wasn’t sure why he had said those words, or if he had said them at all. It felt as though he were no longer in control of his mental faculties. As though he had relinquished control over himself. And he had, he had relinquished control, and he was now handing over the reins to Rey.

And then she spoke. The words that would turn what little restraint he had left into ashes.

“Take me upstairs, Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Somewhere in Time sountrack, [you can find it here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esrTfwBiOM0)  
> For the Somewhere in Time with Lyrics as sung by Tracy Huang and Kevin Ong, [you can find it here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6w5vTwd7rs)
> 
> I think you guys have more than an inkling as to where things are headed. Sorry I had to cut it off there, but it got a bit too long and I wanted to dedicate an entire chapter to it.
> 
> While we're on the subject, I think it's fair to remind everyone of the tags. You know what you were getting into since the start of the fic. This is basically a love story between an older man and a young girl (with sexual elements), with their ages being the main obstacle.
> 
> I think there may only be 2 chapters left before we finish Act 2 and head on to Act 3.
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking with me and for being patient with me as I struggled with this update. I hope you guys will be equally patient with me in the coming days. My parents are coming over for the weekend and I will be very busy entertaining them, but I will try my best to give you guys an update at the soonest. I have already started writing the next chapter, though I have not yet reached the halfway point. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this "build up" chapter. Thanks again for your readership and support! I can never thank you guys enough. Until the next chapter!


	33. PASSION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben takes Rey upstairs and...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my laptop's busted and I had to take it in for repairs and won't be getting it til Sunday night. Thankfully I saved my drafts in my email, though I had to go through hoops to format and post this here and in tumblr, especially since I did it all on mobile. It's a bitch I tell you!
> 
> Mood songs for this chapter are [ My All by Mariah Carey](https://youtu.be/mIhI23gBBPQ) and [Tonight I Celebrate My Love by Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack](https://youtu.be/2GOLnWz_Osc)
> 
> This is it guys. After 33 chapters of teasing, pining and heartache, we finally reached this chapter. PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU DO NOT IGNORE THE TAGS. READ THEM THOROUGHLY. The tags are there to guide and warn so there will be no unpleasant surprises. You know what you're getting here. I don't have to explain myself to anyone.
> 
> Still here? Then you may proceed.
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

Their dance had been magical; their exchange filled with talk of weddings, though they had skirted around certain subjects. Rey knew in her heart of hearts what their words had meant; could tell it in the way he held her, swayed her and kissed her. She was the bride. He was the groom. And all of it was the dream. The secret dream that neither of them were willing to confess to having.

But the dream was shattered all too soon with a phone call. Maz would be coming for her in less than a day, and the fear of being separated from Ben had brought her to tears; brought her into his embrace; into his kisses, caresses and whispers. And now he was carrying her in his arms like the bride she wanted to be, his steps unhurried as he rose up the great staircase, careful not to drop her.

_“Tell me what you want, Rey. Tell me what you want and I’ll do anything. Anything you ask.”_

_“Take me upstairs, Ben.”_

He had carried her into his arms as soon as she had uttered those words; words she knew would shatter barriers and unshackle restraints. And now her heart was hammering against her rib cage with every step that brought them closer to Ben’s room.

He maneuvered his body while still holding her so he could turn the knob, and soon he crossed the doorway with her—the threshold—before closing the door with a slight kick of the heel. Rey buried her face in his chest as he walked her to the bed and ever so gently, laid her on the mattress.

Outside, the rain seemed to have mellowed down, no longer crashing against the roof, but rather beating softly against it, almost fluttering. The dark skies brightened ever so slightly, enough for her to see every mole on Ben’s face as he hovered over her, caging her small body with his, his eyes limpid pools of love and desire. They reflected her own, she was sure, and she reached out to run her hand down the side of his long face—an acceptance of what was to come.

He turned his face so he could plant open-mouthed kisses on her palm, full lips moving sensually over her skin, hooded eyes watching her every reaction as his fingers slowly worked their way through the buttons of her shirt, baring her to him. He sat up and paused when he got to the last button, his eyes on her bare chest and the dark curls at the apex of her thighs.

“My underwear’s in the wash,” she said, explaining her nakedness, blushing when he ran his hands down her neck, down her clavicle, fingers lowering to the middle of her small breasts, the flat of her stomach before stroking her curls below.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with unbidden yearning. He moved over her again, further settling his weight on her, mouth hovering above hers as he reverently traced her lips with his fingers then leaned down to kiss her gently.

The kiss was sweeter than anything Rey could have imagined—a slow dance of lips on lips to music only they could hear. His weight atop her was comforting, as though he was always meant to be there, encompassing her, shielding her from the world. With trembling arms, she pulled him towards her, further pressing his massive form over her petite frame until she could feel him hard and ready through his pajama pants.

She bent her knees and moaned into his mouth, her toes curling when he began to rhythmically thrust his hips to garner friction, further stoking the fires that raged between them. She could feel herself getting wetter and wetter with each of his thrusts, with each of his kisses, until he stopped to loom over her once more, hands parting her shirt to reveal her heaving chest, nipples high up in the air from her arousal.

“So beautiful…” he murmured as he massaged her budding breasts, pinching her rosy, pebbled nipples between his fingers while still grinding his clothed erection against her already soaking pussy, staining his pajama pants. By the time he engulfed a breast in his mouth, she was already writhing beneath him, her body coming alive from all his ministrations. She gasped when she felt teeth, pain mixing with pleasure as she felt him nibble and nip at her nipple, moving from one breast to the other, providing both with equal attention.

He then trailed kisses down her stomach, going lower and lower until she could feel his breath over her center. She raised her head a little so she could watch him part her labia to gain access to her already engorged clit. He smiled at her before diving in, tongue laving the pink bud, and she could do nothing but throw her head back and moan at the overwhelming sensations elicited from such an intimate kiss.

“B-Ben…” She reached down to grab fistfuls of his raven hair, curling her fingers around his scalp when she felt him lick a particular spot that made her whine and gasp. And soon, she was nothing but a babbling mess, murmuring and groaning with each lick, each kiss, her whole body arching when his tongue penetrated her. Ben lapped up at her insides like a man dying of thirst, relentless in his pursuit, one hand gripping her hip, the other moving to thumb her clit.

The dual assault was too much for Rey to bear, and she soon spasmed around his tongue, screaming and gripping his hair as she came undone.

Once the last waves of her orgasm ebbed away, she fell back on the pillows, breathing heavily, feeling her legs turn into jello. Ben always knew how to make her fall apart, and she felt her insides stir when she saw him lick his damp lips clean of her slick.

“You always taste so wonderful, my love…”

 _My love_. Rey repeated the words in her head, and she felt herself shiver with delight and affection. He had never called her that before, and it made her feel for him even more than she already did.

The mattress shifted as Ben began ridding himself of his pajama pants, Rey’s eyes widening at the sight of him. She had seen him naked before of course, but not like this. He seemed impossibly large, the tip of his cock leaking clear fluid as he moved closer to her, pulling her to a sitting position so he could help her take off her shirt, discarding it to the floor along with his pajamas.

Rey breathed out. They were both completely naked now, the cool air tickling their hot skin. Ben was still kneeling over her, his cock twitching in front of her, seeming to beg for attention.

Without prompting, she leaned forward to take him in her mouth, making him hiss as she held him in place, squeezing the base and licking his leaking slit before taking him in as far as she could without gagging.

“R-Rey…oh fuck, Rey!”

She smiled even as her lips were stretched from his girth, and she began moving her head back and forth, her tongue swirling at the underside of his cock with every movement she made, bringing forth more curses from Ben’s lips. She felt that heady feeling again, the power she had over him, and it made her squeeze and rub her thighs together.

She felt Ben’s hands on either side of her head, squeezing a little as he began driving into her mouth, and she had to remember to breathe through her nose as she bobbed her head in time with his thrusts. Soon, her jaw started to hurt but she kept on going, wanting him to feel as much as she had, wanting him to come undone as she had.

Then, he pulled her off, and she whined at the loss of him. But he shook his head wordlessly, breathlessly as he lay her back down, his hand drifting to the middle of her thighs.

“So wet, my love…” he whispered into her ear, probing her with one finger at first, poking and feeling through the slickness of her insides before he inserted another thick finger, and she rolled her hips on his digits, craving for the fullness only he could give.

She struggled for breath when he unexpectedly added a third finger, her body rejecting the intrusion as her insides stretched unpleasantly to accommodate it. She must have been writhing so much, because Ben began peppering her face and neck with kisses, cooing at her.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” he whispered, his voice soothing her until she finally relaxed, and her muscles slowly gave way to pleasure. “That’s it, baby girl. Just relax. You’re doing so well…”

He kissed her again and again, whispering endearments to her ear as he filled her up, moving his digits back and forth ever so slowly, stretching them within her, widening her, and in that moment she realized what he was doing.

He was preparing her.

A mixture of fear and exhilaration swept through her. Beyond this was the unknown, and she feared it, yet at the same time, she was excited to explore the possibilities with Ben, to go beyond where they had ever dared to go.

After a long while of kissing and probing, he finally released her, licking off her wetness from his fingers before he moved over her again, adjusting himself in the middle of her legs until his cock brushed against her clit.

Rey moaned as he continued to stroke his cock against her, sometimes parting her labia, teasing her entrance before sliding up to her clit again. She gripped her pillow in anticipation, her hazy gaze on Ben as he stared back at her, his eyes darker than they had ever been.

She bucked her hips a little, and they both groaned when the head slid inside her entrance. Still, Ben didn’t enter her fully, but rather stopped to pant, one hand on his cock, lining himself up, the other reaching down to entwine with her fingers.

“Tell me to stop, Rey,” he said in a low, almost broken voice, even as he probed just a little deeper, begging to be one with her. “Tell me to stop, and I will.”

Rey couldn’t speak. Could barely make a sound save for little mewls. She could actually feel him inside her, heat radiating from where they were partially joined, and even with this, he was already stretching her almost to her limit, and she began to doubt whether or not she could actually take him.

Then, she felt him start to leave her, and she instantly panicked, moving to dig her heels on either side of his hips, causing him to fall deeper into her. She winced in pain, and if he hadn’t braced himself, he might have hurt her even more.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said hoarsely, kissing her eyelids. “Are you alright?”

“I...I’m fine,” she croaked, fluttering her eyes open until she saw the worry etched in Ben’s face. “I’m fine, Ben. K-Keep going...”

“Are you sure?” he asked with uncertainty, sweeping the hair away from her face. “Rey...we don’t have to do this now. We can wait.”

Rey shook her head. “I don’t want to wait anymore. Please, Ben.” She reached out to curl her fingers in his dark hair and whispered, “Make love to me.”

That seemed to do it for Ben, and with his face a mirror of desire, he pulled back and guided himself into her heat. With every inch, Rey could feel him opening her up, stretching her, and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from crying out.

It took a while for him to fully seat himself within her, her eyes flying open when he broke through the last of her resistance, her walls throbbing with an ache she never thought she would ever feel. It was like being torn apart and made whole at the same time, and somehow, she felt complete. With him fully inside her, she felt as though the missing piece of the puzzle had finally locked itself in place.

“Oh God, Rey...” Ben moaned as he put his weight over her again, gathering her small body in his arms and pressing her flush against his broad chest. “Are...are you alright?”

She nodded into his neck. “I’m alright. It...it hurts...but I’m alright.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” He planted kisses on her face, careful not to move too much. “The pain will go away. I promise. Just...just relax. Daddy will take care of you...”

 _Daddy,_ she thought, and felt a shot of pleasure go right through her. It was so sexy whenever he called himself that, so sensual, and yet she was left with a feeling of being protected. Of being loved and cherished, and soon, she found herself melting into his embrace, accepting and returning his soft, lazy kisses until the ache was replaced with a need that made her flutter all around him.

He must have felt it too, because he pulled back from kissing and whispered, “I’m going to move now, okay baby girl?”

She nodded quietly, eagerly, and laid back as he grabbed her hips and pulled out a few inches before delving back into her folds. She moaned. The ache was still there but with it came waves of pleasure from being so filled up, from feeling every ridge, every contour, every inch of his cock that plunged in and out of her.

So this was what it was like to make love, she thought; this thrusting in and out; this filling up and emptying; this wet friction that sparked flames which engulfed her entire being; this absence of distance between them, and it was that last part that left her in awe, that she could actually be this close to Ben, and she felt her heart grow fuller and fuller with every single one of his thrusts, every single one of his murmurs and groans.

“I love you, Rey,” he said in between ragged breaths, the emotion in his voice palpable as he continued to plow into her. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Ben,” Rey replied with the same fervor, and she could feel the beginnings of tears form at the corners of her eyes as passion and love began to overwhelm her.

Ben bent forward to kiss her once again, tongues and lips clashing in a torrid dance. She could feel damp warmth on her cheeks, though if those were her tears or Ben’s, she was no longer certain. All she knew was that they were both trembling, their moans accompanied by muffled sobs as they relentlessly kissed and moved their bodies against each other. And it was all so special, so beautiful the way they glided over one another that Rey felt as though she were flying with him, her heart and mind soaring to new heights she had never reached before.

Ben lifted himself away from her lips once more and picked up the pace of his thrusts, his fingers moving down to rub her clit as he did. Rey cried out from the simultaneous assault to her senses, moaning loudly while her whole body bounced from the force of Ben’s frantic thrusts, the room filling with the sounds of skin slapping on skin.

“B-Ben...Mmm...Ben...”

“Rey...oh Rey...”

He thumbed her clit over and over, sending her closer and closer to the precipice until she let out a shriek, her entire form convulsing as her second orgasm hit her like a tidal wave, drowning her in overpowering sensations until she was left gasping for air. She could feel her inner walls tighten and quiver around Ben’s cock, sucking him ever deeper until he too shattered.

He finished inside her with a shout, thick fingers digging into her hip. She could feel his cock pulsate inside her walls, spurting warm liquid into the deepest parts of her over and over, and she wrapped her legs around him, welcoming his release.

He peppered kisses on her face and neck, apologizing profusely while continuously rocking into her as his orgasm tapered. He promised that he would take care of her, that they would go out and get the pill for her and that she didn’t have to worry about a thing. But she wasn’t worried. Not at all. She knew he would take care of her. Trusted that he would. There wasn’t anyone else in the world she trusted more than Ben, wasn’t anyone else in the world she loved more. And now that they had finally consummated their relationship, she felt herself grow ever closer to him, not just in body, but in mind, heart and spirit.

After a long while, Ben slipped out of her, the mixture of his cum and hers sticky between her thighs. Body sated and still heaving with heavy breaths, she pressed against his equally sweaty body, allowing herself to be pulled into his arms until she was lying on top of him, head sideways on his chest as she drew invisible hearts on his skin.

He held her tight. “There’s no going back from this, Rey.”

“I know,” she breathed, sighing when she felt his lips on the top of her head.

“Do you regret it?” he asked, and it was this that made her look up to see the concern knitting at his brows.

“How could I regret something so wonderful?” she questioned back and moved until her face hovered over his. “What about you? Do you regret it?”

The smile on Ben’s lips was wistful. “My only regret is that we cannot be out in the open about us when all I want to do is shout out to the world how much I love you.”

Rey smiled at that, and lowered her face so she could capture his lips in hers. “Someday, Ben. Someday we won’t have to keep this a secret anymore.”

“Yes,” he whispered into her mouth, his fingers running up and down her body, stirring her. “Someday…but for now…” he turned to his side and flipped her on her back, beaming as he bent down to suckle her breast, “...let’s make more secrets to keep, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Ben and Rey finally consummated their relationship; expressed their love for each other physically. They didn't reach the four year mark. What other twists and turns await the pair? You'll have to stay tuned to find out.
> 
> Thank you so much again dear readers, for joining me in this journey. There is still a lot of stories to tell for these two and I hope you'll continue to be here for the ride. Thank you so much for all the comments and interactions. It's a lot of fun knowing you guys are out there. Until next chapter!


	34. PRECAUTIONS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Countermeasures need to be taken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! I'm back with a new chapter for you. I finally got my laptop back but I haven't installed Microsoft Office yet so I'm editing via Google Docs, which to be honest I should've done a long time ago to always ensure I have a back up.
> 
> Anyway, what I have for you today is a bit of plot and then some *wink wink nudge nudge* Hope you enjoy!
> 
> I would also like to thank emobubbles for helping me sort out some issues I had with the original draft. Her insights really helped me shape this chapter, so girl, this chapter is dedicated to you!
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

They made love two more times that afternoon before Ben decided it was time for a trip to the drugstore. He had Rey put on her already dried blouse, skirt and underwear before getting inside the Lexus with her and driving away from the manor. The rains had completely stopped by then, making the roads more accessible, and soon they were pulling up at the drugstore parking space.

“Stay here, Rey,” Ben said, daring to give her a kiss. The Lexus had tinted windows anyway, so there was little chance of him getting caught being amorous with her.

“I want to go too.” Rey started to unbuckle her seatbelt but Ben stopped her.

“No, my love. It’s better if I do this alone.”  _ My love.  _ God, he loved calling her that. “They might get suspicious or ask questions if someone as young as you were to ask for morning after pills. I won’t be gone long. Would you like me to buy something for you while I’m there?”

“A chocolate bar would be nice.”

“Chocolate bar it is. My baby girl needs her energy after all.” He winked suggestively and kissed her once more, groaning when she managed to slip her tongue in. Shit, this girl was going to be the death of him. “I’ll be back.”

They smiled at each other before he reluctantly pulled away and stepped out of the car. Adjusting his jacket around him, he walked quickly into the drugstore and got what he needed over the counter, adding a few packs of condoms, an energy drink and a bottle of water into the mix. He had run out of condoms a long time ago since he barely dated, and almost all of his partners were on the pill.

Remembering the pill, he asked, “Can I get some birth control pills for my girlfriend too?”

_ Girlfriend _ , he thought, allowing the word to glide through his tongue like melted chocolate.

The pharmacist barely acknowledged the way he was smiling like an idiot as she said, “You got her prescription with you?”

Ben looked at the woman, bewildered. “Prescription?”

“Yeah. Your girlfriend’s doctor’s prescription. You can’t buy birth control pills without a prescription,” the lady pharmacist said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh. I, uh, forgot to bring it,” he lied, feeling more than a little foolish. He made a mental note to take Rey to a gynecologist next, though he would need to make a call to get an impromptu appointment.

The pharmacist rang up his purchases and started explaining about the morning after pill, when it should be taken and its possible side effects like nausea, vomiting, headaches, tiredness and tender breasts. Ben listened with rapt attention. He had never had to purchase Plan B for anyone before, so all the information was new to him.

Once he was done, he exited the store and headed for the Lexus, but not before making a phone call to Dr. Kalonia. He entered the car after ending the call, and found Rey listening to some of his old tunes. Currently playing over the car speakers was  _ ‘Tonight I Celebrate My Love’ _ .

“I went through your playlist,” she said sheepishly. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, sweetheart.” He leaned over to kiss her once more, lingering this time before pulling away and taking out the morning after pill and the bottle of water from the paper bag. “Take this. I also bought some anti nausea medication in case you experience some side effects from the pill. And here’s your chocolate.” He handed her the chocolate bar she had asked for, earning him a wide smile from her. Once she had taken the pill, he pulled the car out of the parking space and back to the road.

“You like this song?” he asked when she began singing in between bites of chocolate.

“I like all the love songs in your playlist but this reminds me of earlier.” From the corner of his eye, Ben saw Rey blush. “It feels like every love song makes sense to me now.”

“They make sense to me now too...because of you.” He reached out for her hand and kissed her knuckle before holding on to the steering wheel again. He made a turn, the car passing through shallow flood waters as they headed further out.

Rey frowned. “This isn’t the way home.”

“It’s not. I’m taking you to a gynecologist.”

“Gynecologist?”

“Mmhmm.” Ben nodded as he made another turn until they reached a line of small buildings. “I called Dr. Kalonia and got a referral from her. No need to schedule an appointment. We just walk in. You’ll need your first check up anyway now that you’re...sexually active.” His fingers tightened around the steering wheel. “Might be best if you discuss with the doctor about birth control options. Get a prescription so we can purchase some birth control pills for you.”

“Why don’t I go see Dr. Kalonia instead?” Rey asked. “I’ve known her for years and I trust her.”

“Yes, but she’s a pediatrician not a gynecologist,” he reminded, then paused. “But if you don’t want to see a gynecologist yet, you don’t have to. I bought some condoms so we should be okay.” Now it was Ben’s turn to blush. He never in his wildest dreams thought he would be discussing birth control with Rey, let alone  _ be _ the reason why they had to discuss it in the first place.

Rey shook her head. “No, you’re right. I should see one, so we can have other options.”

He agreed.

When they got to the clinic, Ben stayed in the waiting room while Rey saw the lady gynecologist referred by Dr. Kalonia. After almost an hour of waiting like an expectant father, he stood up when he saw Rey emerge from the doctor’s office, prescription in hand.

“How’d it go?” he asked as they walked out of the clinic and got back in the car.

“I’ll need to come back for another appointment. She says it’s too soon since my last sexual encounter to give me a full check up, but hey,” she waved the prescription like a victory flag, “at least now we can buy my birth control pills. But she says to use condoms for the next seven days, just to be on the safe side.”

Ben found himself gripping the steering wheel hard again. That sounded a lot like Rey fully expected them to make love often, and his mind wandered off to ways he could sneak off with her. He very well couldn’t do anything during supervised weekend visits with Maz, but maybe he could surprise her at school, drive off with her to someplace quiet, and he found himself growing hard at the thought of them having sex in the Lexus.

He cleared his throat and turned the car around. “Did she...say anything though? About your age or ask you anything overtly personal?”

Rey’s face scrunched up as she thought, and Ben wanted nothing more than to kiss her on the nose. “She did say I was quite young. She also asked how long I’ve been sexually active for and I told her it’s been a number of months but that we didn’t go all the way until a few hours ago. She then asked how many partners I’ve had and I told her just my boyfriend.”

Ben darted his eyes towards her. “Boyfriend?”

“Yes. Boyfriend.” Rey stared at him meaningfully. “Aren’t you my boyfriend now?”

“W-Well...yes.” He felt his chest puff up. “Yes, I am.”

He saw Rey smile and settle back in her seat. Boyfriend. They were boyfriend and girlfriend. He still preferred the term lovers, but it felt good to have an official label, even if they had to keep it to themselves.   
  
Rey continued to speak. “The doctor also said not to worry because the pills shouldn’t affect my fertility when I decide to have a baby in the future.”   
  
_ When _ . Not if.  _ When _ ; in the future, and Ben found himself pulling at the collar of his shirt. All this talk of relationship labels and future babies was making him want to pull over and have his way with Rey in the backseat. Or even in the passenger’s seat. She was certainly small and slim enough to fit in between himself and the dashboard. She could squeeze in and still have enough room to bounce on his cock.

He gritted his teeth, blood rushing to intimate places. He needed to get a grip. He was thinking like the horny teenager he no longer was.

Managing to calm his raging hormones, he said, “We won’t be able to get you another gynecologist appointment any time soon. Maz might get suspicious, but I think I saw a Planned Parenthood health center in Maz’s town. In our state, you don’t need parental consent to go on your own at your age, but just be discreet about it.”

Rey nodded quietly, and they both slipped into silence before she said, “Are we ever going to be alone together for the next four years with Maz always around?”

He tried to ignore the way his heart sang and broke at the longing in her voice. It was clear to him she wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her. “We’ll find a way.”

“Maybe you can come pick me up from school one of these days,” she suggested. “Maz will never know.”

Ben felt his cock twitch in his pants. If he didn’t know any better, he would say Rey could actually read his mind. “Y-yeah. I could do that.”

“We’ll drive off somewhere we won’t be disturbed,” Rey continued with her musings, her voice turning husky, making Ben squirm. “There’s plenty of that at the outskirts of town or so I’ve been told. Wooded areas where we can just park the car and...do stuff.”

By do stuff, she meant do each other, he thought, his mouth running dry at the idea. They could do it in the car, and the interior would smell like her--smell like them--and he would never be able to see his car the same way ever again.

“We might get caught,” he cautioned.

“I thought that possibility thrills you,” she teased, and God help him, he just wanted to pull her in his arms and kiss her until she was breathless.

“Nah. I’d rather have you in a comfortable bed while I still can, thank you very much.” He smirked as he said it, his free hand moving to caress her exposed knee. She was only too eager to part her legs, and his hand greedily moved under her skirt, fingers sliding her panties to the side so he could slip his digits inside her cunt.

“So wet already,” he observed, keeping his eye on the road while pumping two fingers into her, making sure to slide against her clit until she whined.

He took his hand away, Rey growling her displeasure at the loss as he licked his fingers clean. “Now, now, baby girl. You need to behave. Daddy’s driving. We’ll continue once we get home. But first, we need to buy your birth control pills...”

* * *

Ben braced a hand on the marble wall, water from the shower running down the tense muscles of his back while his other hand cupped the back of Rey’s head as she moved her mouth back and forth on his cock, her chestnut hair pasted to the wet, pale skin of her shoulders and back.

He threw his head back and groaned when she grazed her teeth gently along his shaft, his chin length raven hair plastered to his head, revealing his large ears which were pink from all the heat running up and down his body.

He tried to remember what had led up to this moment--him and Rey in the shower, Rey sucking him off while touching herself--and he could only remember briefly mentioning to her that they should take a bath after they had practically jumped each other’s bones when they got home, leaving them a mess of wrinkled clothes and sweaty bodies. It hadn’t been enough, and after washing each other, things had escalated yet again.

He pulled her off him with a slight tug to her hair, a line of saliva still connecting her lips to his throbbing cock.

“Get the condom,” he rasped, and Rey immediately rose to her feet and hurried to the sink where he had left an open pack. She came back and tore the foil open with her teeth, his cock twitching at how sexy she had looked when she did that.

Tossing the foil aside, she sheathed his length with the condom, and just like when they did it in bed earlier, it was a snug fit, if a little on the tight side.

Rey stepped back a little and looked at him, eyes filled with lust and at the same time a bit of confusion. Their height difference would make it impossible for them to do it with both of them standing up, but Ben knew what he had to do.

With a snarl, he pressed her against the wall, the shower still running over them as he lifted one of her legs and crouched a little so he could sink his cock into her heat. Once he had bottomed out, he put both hands on her ass and easily lifted her up, cock still buried up to the hilt as she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms clinging to his neck.

Kissing her roughly, he began thrusting upwards, pistoning in and out of her slippery folds, squeezing his hands around the globes of her ass. She was so light in his arms as she bounced on his cock, and he had to pull back from the kiss so he could gaze at the look of pure ecstasy on her face.

“Fuck, Rey, you’re still so tight,” he gasped in between thrusts. “Mmm...fuck, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”

“H-Harder, B-Ben,” Rey begged. “F...F...Fuck me harder.”

“Shit!” Ben growled and pounded her faster, thrusting upwards and at the same time moving her up and down his sheathed cock. He had never heard her swear before, and it was such a turn on that he absolutely lost himself, fucking her harder than he ever hard before. 

He took a step forward until he had her back against the wall for support. He resumed his frantic pace, the slapping of skin echoing in the bathroom along with the splashing of water. This would’ve been much better without the condom, but he couldn’t risk getting her pregnant. Even with the morning after pill and her birth control pill, there was still a chance he might knock her up, if it weren’t for the extra precaution of the condom.

But fuck, wouldn’t that be something somewhere down the line, he thought, as he imagined himself married to an older Rey, her belly swollen with his child. It was an image so far removed from being erotic yet didn’t fail to give him a rush.

“B-Ben...Ben…I’m going to...”

“Call me ‘Daddy’,” he practically begged her, snapping his hips to hers over and over.

“Daddy...Daddy...DADDY!”

“Shit! Fuck!” he cursed when he felt her clench and unclench around him, milking his cock for all it was worth as he continued to slam into her until he too climaxed.

After a few more thrusts, his tempo slowed to a stop, the urgency replaced by something softer as he took her lips in his, his hips rolling against hers, hands still pulling her hips towards him as though he never wanted to be free of her. 

“I love you…” he whispered into her mouth, fluid dripping down from where they were connected, milky white droplets hitting the wet floor and swirling down the drain.

* * *

“What are you going to do about that boy? Kazuda?” Ben asked after he and Rey had settled back on the bed, bodies spent but satiated from another round of lovemaking. The early morning sun was peeking through the clouds for the first time in days, brightening up the room with a clash of cool and warm colors.

Rey nuzzled his chest, one arm and one leg draped across him. “Will break things off with him once I get back. Can’t string him along after all this.”

Ben nodded sleepily and moved to kiss the top of Rey’s head. “Why don’t you call that boy on the phone, hmm? Tell him it’s over.”

Rey pressed her lips together. “I’d rather do it personally. He deserves that much. Besides…” she looked up at him, smirking, “Knowing you, you might just fondle me or fuck me while I’m on the phone with him.”

“Why, I would never.” Ben feigned innocence, then pretended to be stern. “And where did you learn such language, little lady? I ought to punish you.” 

“I learned it from you, doofus.” Rey giggled, and Ben held her closer. God, he was going to miss hearing her laugh.

His eyes darted towards the clock, and he grew somber when he saw the time. They had precious little sleep last night, knowing that they only had a few hours left together before Maz arrived. And now it was a sunny morning, and Ben imagined the old woman was probably driving her Volkswagen beetle by now, hurrying towards the mansion. 

“Maz will probably be here soon. Maybe Threepio too,” Ben said with a heavy sigh and turned on his side so he can look Rey in the eye. “I think you better put on your clothes and sleep in your room. We can’t have them catch us together like this.”

The smile left Rey’s face, and Ben felt his heart constrict. Running a palm on her cheek, he said, “Rey...you and I both know that what we had was just borrowed time. True, it was short, but these last few days have been the most memorable in my entire life. And that’s all because of you.” He pulled her into a soft kiss. “Thank you, Rey. For everything.”

He kissed her again, and she responded softly, gently. Gone was the desperation from their earlier kisses. What they had now was a quiet acceptance.

“Will we be together again like this?” Rey whispered.

“We will. I believe that,” Ben said with more self-assurance than he actually felt. It wasn’t going to be easy. But for her, he would find a way. “Now, go and get some sleep. I’ll be seeing you off later. Don’t forget your pills. And next weekend, we’ll have our first therapy session together.”

He gave her one last kiss before he let her slip out of bed, watching as she put her discarded clothes back on and grabbed the paper bag of pills from the nightstand. She padded slowly out of the room, but not before turning back one more time to mouth ‘I love you’ to him. He mouthed ‘I love you’ back, and with one last smile, she exited Ben’s room, closing the door softly behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second to the last chapter of Act 2. Maz will be arriving in the next chapter. So what happens next? You'll have to stay tuned to find out.
> 
> Thanks as always dear readers for your constant support as I continue to write this piece. We're not yet at the end stretch and I hope you'll continue to stick by me as I explore more of this tale. Thank you, thank you, thank you!


	35. MAZ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maz returns to Alderaan Manor to pick up Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys. The final chapter of Act 2 of Blossoming. Next chapter will be the beginning of Act 3.
> 
> No smut in this chapter though, but very important plot points are ahead so without further ado, here's Chapter 35 from Maz's point of view (so you're going to see Rey and Ben referred to as Reynabelle and Benjamin respectively)
> 
> No Beta, so please forgive any mistakes.
> 
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Maz Kanata drove past several miles of lonely roads in her old but reliable Volkswagen Beetle until she met some traffic, indicating that she was closer to Alderaan Manor. She had been driving for over three hours now, and her old bones were tired, hungry, but determined to get to her destination as quickly as possible. She had even risen up before the dawn, leaving her sister’s house at the wee hours of the morning just so she could arrive at the earliest possible time, and if she had been any younger than her 68 years, she would have gone even earlier.

She weaved in and out of traffic like a yuppie late for work. Benjamin and Reynabelle had been alone in the manor together for almost three days now. Any number of things could have happened in those three days, particularly since emotions were running high after Benjamin’s suicide attempt. Maz could only hope and pray that he kept it in his pants. Clarence certainly didn’t.

Maz gripped the steering wheel hard as memories from over 50 years ago resurfaced. Of Clarence Whitmore and his kind, deceptive eyes. She wasn’t about to let what happened to her happen to Reynabelle. Maz had lost so much of her childhood that way, and much as she would like to believe that she had helped raise Benjamin well, she was loathe to believe that a man his age would want to be with a teenager purely out of love. That just didn’t happen, as she had been made painfully aware.

Finally arriving at the suburbs, Maz drove through quieter streets until she reached the tree-lined path that led to the manor. She sped up until she finally reached the gates, honking her car horn to gain the attention of anyone inside. Not a minute later, the gates opened, and she could see Benjamin emerge from the front door and onto the porch.

She drove the car into the property, stopping in front of the house before turning off the engine and exiting the vehicle. She hiked up the skirt of her frock so she would avoid staining her clothes from the puddles at her feet.

“Good morning, Benjamin,” she greeted, rising up the steps to stand in front of him. She barely reached his chest, and she was suddenly reminded of how old she was. Where was that little boy who used to cling to her skirt, crying for one reason or another?

“Welcome back, Maz,” Benjamin greeted back. He looked and sounded tired, as though he hadn’t slept a wink, and his clothes were wrinkled. “I’m glad you arrived safely. Do come in.”

Benjamin sounded stiff and formal, which made Maz eye him suspiciously through her thick glasses. Still, she reminded herself that he had been through an ordeal, and she asked, “Is it true that you tried to...to kill yourself?”

She saw his shoulders tense before he answered. “It was a very dark time in my life. But I’m okay now. Rey...she saved me.” There was a longing in his voice that Maz couldn’t ignore, a tenderness that was almost tangible. “I’ll be seeing a therapist next week. Speaking of which, I will have to ask you to allow Rey to come with me during my sessions. I think she may have been traumatized when she found me after...after my attempt. Therapy would do her good.”

Maz nodded noncommittally as she followed him inside the great house. “Where’s Reynabelle?”

“In her room,” Benjamin answered without looking at her. “She’s feeling a little nauseous so she’s resting. Must’ve been something she ate.”

Maz pressed her lips together, unsure if she believed that. Reynabelle was usually careful with her food, knowing how sickly and sensitive she was. “I’ll go check on her, if you don’t mind.”

“Go right ahead.” Benjamin gestured to the stairs before turning to head out of the foyer. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

Maz followed him with her eyes as he exited the foyer, and soon, she could hear piano music wafting through the walls. She knew Benjamin only ever played when he was stressed out, as well he must be, she thought. She was taking Reynabelle back after all,and a part of her suddenly felt sorry for him but she quickly held herself back. She may see both Benjamin and Reynabelle as children she never had--or could have had--but she knew she had to prioritize Reynabelle’s well-being above his. She was so, so young…

Holding up the long skirt of her frock, she walked up the stairs and hurried to Reynabelle’s room, where she found the girl lying on her side, huddled under the sheets, her face scrunched up in discomfort.

Maz moved to the side of the bed and sat on the mattress, placing a hand on the girl’s forehead to check for a fever. There was none, which was good, though her skin was a bit cold and clammy.

Reynabelle stirred. “Uh...Ben?”

“No, dear child. It’s me. Maz,” Maz corrected and swept an unruly strand away from Reynabelle’s face. “How are you feeling? Benjamin says you ate something that made you nauseous?”

“Uhm...yeah,” she nodded, though something at the back of Maz’s mind told her the girl wasn’t being entirely truthful. “Maz, can you get me some anti-nausea pills? I think I left some on the sink.”

“Of course, dear.” Maz stood up and walked over to the bathroom, where she quickly found what she was looking for. She grabbed the pills and was about to head back when she noticed the medicine cabinet was slightly ajar. She raised her hand to close it, but something was preventing her from doing so.

With a huff, she opened the cabinet and found a paper bag haphazardly placed inside the shelf. It looked out of place amongst the sea of meticulously arranged medication, and so she grabbed the bag and took out its contents with the intention of arranging it on the shelves.

What she saw inside left her so shocked, she wasn’t able to move for close to a full minute. With shaky hands, she took the two packs and read through it again and again to make sure she wasn’t just seeing things.

There was no denying it. These were birth control pills and one empty pack of morning after pills.

She let go of the packs and stepped back, a hand against her throat. Her mind scrambled for an explanation, anything to refute the only possibility that lingered in her mind but it was no use. The evidence was all right there.

Her knees shaking, she closed the toilet and sat on it, staying there until she regained her composure. Once she had a semblance of control, she stood up and re-entered Reynabelle’s room, intent on confronting her about it but the girl was asleep, more than likely sleeping off the side effects of the morning after pill.

Torn between motherly protectiveness and grave disappointment, she went to the nightstand and left the anti-nausea pills there before she exited the room. There was only one other person she needed to talk to about this, and he was downstairs, still playing his tunes. This time, he was playing _‘Somewhere in Time’_ , and she was reminded of the days when the old mistress Leia Organa-Solo was still alive, playing the same piece over and over while her little son sat on the piano bench with her and her husband, the old master Han Solo looked on in annoyance and pride.

Maz gripped the banister tightly as she walked down the stairs, following the music to its source. She had been with the Solos for over 30 years, had seen them through happy times and tragedies, been privy to the scandals concerning Annabelle, but she never thought she would be witness to something even darker, involving her two former charges no less, and it made her feel sick.

Still, she managed to get a hold of herself as she approached Benjamin, who was swaying to music of his own making.

She coughed to gain his attention. He stopped playing and turned around. “Maz. How’s Rey?”

“She’s asleep.” Maz kept her answer brief. “Benjamin, may I talk to you? In private?”

“Uhm...sure.” He turned so he could close the piano lid. She saw the way his hands trembled, though his voice remained unaffected. “Shall we go to my study?”

Maz nodded quietly. She really didn’t want to go upstairs anymore, but she was willing to give Benjamin some privacy despite what he had done. She couldn’t well confront him with the chance of Threepio suddenly walking in on them, if the old butler was already in the mansion.

Once they got to the study, she closed the door behind her and walked further into the room. Benjamin was half-sitting on his desk, arms folded across his chest as if to protect himself. She could tell he knew something was up, and so she decided to head straight to the point.

“You slept with Reynabelle, didn’t you?”

All the air seemed to have been sucked out of the room as she and Benjamin stilled at the same time. “Maz...I…”

“I saw the birth control pills and the empty pack of morning after pills,” Maz said before he got the chance to formulate a lie. “I can’t believe you actually laid your hands on her. A child. I thought I raised you better than that. That you have better principles than that.”

Benjamin clamped his lips shut, silent as he swallowed. He wasn’t even denying it, and Maz felt her feeble hands clench at her sides.

“You said you would wait four years. I trusted you,” she said through gritted teeth. She was on the verge of shouting but managed to control herself, despite all the memories, all the trauma in her life that told her to lash out. “And now you’ve completely ruined Reynabelle’s life. Her childhood. Her future. And for what? To satisfy your carnal desires?”

“It’s not like that,” Benjamin refuted vehemently, standing up to his full height. “I love her, Maz. I told you that already. I’d marry her right this instant if I could. And in four years time, I will.”

Benjamin’s conviction, the certainty and determination in his voice shook Maz to the core. Clarence had never promised to marry her...

“Nevertheless, this has to stop,” Maz declared after a moment of stunned silence. “Reynabelle needs to be with someone her age. She needs to grow so she can make proper choices. She needs--”

“No. Not this time, Maz.” Benjamin shook his head, defiance in his eyes. “You’re just going to push her to someone else when all she needs is me, just as all I need is her. You can ask her yourself. We both love each other. I gave her the freedom to choose and in the end, she chose me. I let her go before. I’m not going to do that again.”

“Ben…”

Surprised by the voice coming from behind her, Maz turned and sure enough, found Reynabelle at the door. She still looked a little worse for wear, but her eyes were bright as she stared beyond her and towards Benjamin.

“Rey…”

Maz could only watch as Reynabelle ran inside the study and into Benjamin’s arms, with him bending himself over so he could bury his face in her neck while she stood on her tiptoes. They murmured something into each other’s ears that Maz couldn’t hear, and she suddenly felt like an intruder to something so intimate.

After what seemed like forever, they let go of each other, though their hands remained linked as they turned to face her.

Benjamin spoke first. “Maz, we know you’re just trying to do what’s best for us, and we appreciate that. But we don’t want to have to go sneaking around behind your back. Rey and I are together whether you like it or not and we will continue to see each other. We can still keep her living arrangements with you intact, but from now on, we’d like to keep weekend visits between us and us alone.”

“No. I can’t let you do that.” Maz’s lower lip trembled as she turned to Reynabelle. “What about Kazuda Xiono? Are you just going to break that poor boy’s heart because of your stepfather?”

“I don’t love Kazuda,” Reynabelle argued, clinging tightly to Benjamin’s hand. “I tried to love him because you kept telling me it’s what’s best for me. But now it’s time I decide what’s best for myself. And Ben is the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“No. No.” Maz shook her head in disbelief. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t happen. Not again. “Reynabelle, I’ve been in your shoes before. You’re young, impressionable and Benjamin here has left you even more confused than before. Think logically about this. You’re making a decision that will ruin your life.”

“Why, Maz?” Reynabelle demanded, though she kept her voice low. “Why are you so determined to break me and Ben apart?”

“Because I don’t want you to turn out like me!” Maz blurted out, and in tone halfway to a sob, confessed about Clarence--the man twice her age who had seduced her at fifteen, making her think he loved her only to abandon her when she fell pregnant. She also confessed to getting rid of the baby in an operation that left her sterile.

“It took me years to get my life back on track,” Maz tearfully finished, her glassy eyes on Reynabelle. “I don’t want the same thing to happen to you. Older men...just don’t fall in love with teenagers. It’s not natural. They only want one thing and once they tire of you, they discard you. Please, Reynabelle. Don’t let what happened to me happen to you too.”

A moment of silence enveloped the study, and Maz did her best to maintain her composure, even as sobs threatened to escape her throat.

Then, Reynabelle let go of Benjamin’s hand and walked over to give her a hug. Maz hugged the girl back, grateful for the much needed comfort through the turmoil of going down the path of unwanted memories. Maybe, just maybe Reynabelle would finally make the right decision for herself.

But then the girl pulled away and said, “I’m sorry that happened to you, Maz, but I’m not you.”

“And I’m not Clarence,” Benjamin piped in, stepping up until he was standing beside Reynabelle again. “I would never abandon Rey like he abandoned you. Just because it happened to you doesn’t mean it happens to everyone else. I swore a long time ago that I would take care and protect Rey and it’s a promise I hold fiercely even more now that I love her.”

“You...both of you are not going to listen to me, are you?” Maz asked, stepping back.  

Benjamin shook his head. “I’m sorry, Maz. But this is our life to live. Not yours.”

Maz straightened, her wrinkled features hardening as if she had been slapped. “Then, I quit.”

That startled them both. “Maz...”

“I can’t stand idly by and watch you both destroy yourselves,” Maz said hotly. “I’m resigning effective immediately. Reynabelle can live here again, since that is obviously what you both wish. But I...I can’t be party to this. I’m sorry.” She pivoted and started for the door, but stopped when she had her hand on the knob. Without looking back, she said, “I won’t get the police involved. I care about you two too much to do that. But I hope you’ll reconsider. And if you do, and I hope you do, you can still reach me on my phone. Goodbye, Reynabelle. Goodbye, Benjamin.”

And with that, Maz exited the study, finally allowing the sobs to rattle through her shoulders.

* * *

The drive back to the cottage took longer than the usual two hours. Maz had had to constantly stop the car so she could cry and gather herself. She wanted to save Reynabelle and Benjamin from themselves. She cared fiercely for them both, Reynabelle especially but she had done all she could. They weren’t listening. They were much too in love, or so they claimed, and that was what tore her up the most. A strong part of her, burned from past experiences told her their love was a farce, borne out of physical needs particularly on Benjamin’s side. But as she looked back to the way they had held each other and looked at each other, a small part of her wondered if it could all be real. That true love did exist.

She shook her head. Thoughts like that were nothing but childish notions; one she couldn’t afford to believe in anymore.

Concentrating back on the road, she made the turn to the unpaved path which led to her cottage. She would be all alone now, her retirement sudden and unexpected. Benjamin had been generous with her last paycheck, and a cynical part of her told her it was so she would continue to remain silent about him and Reynabelle but she took the money anyway. She was going to need it for the remaining years of her life now that she was alone and unemployed.

She drove further down the path, her brows knitting when she saw a car parked in front of the cottage. Standing by the car was a stocky man in a suit, probably in his fifties, though his face appeared deeply lined, his gray hair slicked back across the top of his head.

Maz stopped behind the car, instantly getting the man’s attention as she turned off the engine and stepped out of the Volkswagen.

“Can I help you, sir?” she asked, a little suspicious. She rarely if ever got visitors.

“I believe you can.” The man approached her and smiled, though there was not a single shred of warmth in his face as he held out his hand and introduced himself. “I’m Atty. Moden Canady. I represent Mr. Abraham Snoke. And I would like to talk to you about Ms. Reynabelle Eliza Snoke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Did you think I forgot all about old man Snoke? Mr. Abraham Snoke, the man Rey and Ben bumped into the first time they arrived in Raddus Hall? The man in the fedora and trench coat with the piercing blue eyes and the grotesque scar on his face? The man Rey had encountered in the mall while she was shopping for lingerie? I know that his last appearance was over 20 chapters ago, but he has always been important to the story, particularly in Act 3.
> 
> I think some of you may already have an idea as to who Abraham Snoke is to Rey. So how does this pertain to the future of Ben and Rey? Why did Abraham Snoke's attorney approach Maz? There's still a lot of stories to tell as we begin Act 3 of Blossoming next chapter.
> 
> Thank you so much again dear readers for all your support! This fic is almost at 40k hits now after around 2 months of being online and I couldn't be more than blown away by all the support. Thank you for joining on this journey with me and for inspiring me to grow this fic. Thank you, thank you, thank you!


	36. THERAPY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey go to therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the title suggests, this is the part when Ben and Rey go to therapy. This is I believe the longest chapter I've ever written at almost 4,500 words so be prepared for a long read with lots of dialogue.
> 
> Please note that while I have seen a psychiatrist, I have never seen a therapist so I don't really know how authentic this part is. My apologies if it isn't, I tried my best through listening mostly to youtube roleplays. I hope this still works out though and that you enjoy reading the chapter nonetheless. Otherwise, please do suspend disbelief. Thank you :)
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Ben drove Rey to Maz’s town to make arrangements for her to leave school. Since he was still her legal guardian (he never got around to transferring guardianship over to Maz), he had ultimately decided that she should go to school closer to the manor. Unfortunately, none of the nearby schools would accept a student so late into the semester, and so both he and Rey had agreed to have her homeschooled again. At least until the next school year.

After handling affairs at Colossus High, they had then gone to Maz’s place to gather some of Rey’s things, in particular her clothes. The rest would have to be picked up by Artoo one of these days. Maz didn’t appear too pleased that they were actually pushing through with the move back to Alderaan Manor, but she didn’t say a word about it. In fact, she barely talked to them, and Ben thought she looked a bit guilty, though he wasn’t sure why.

Rey then met with Kazuda Xiono in the coffee shop while Ben waited for her in the car, his eyes on the shop window as she consoled the boy. Later, she would say that Kazuda took the break up surprisingly well, saying he always knew she was out of his league and he was grateful all the same that she even gave him the time of the day. Ben admitted to himself that if circumstances had been different, he may actually have approved of the boy for Rey.

But circumstances were what they were. He and Rey were in love. And now, there didn’t appear to be any obstacles in their way, except for Rey’s age of course. But that can easily be remedied with time. And once the wait was over, they could move on to the next stage of their lives…

* * *

“Thank you for seeing us, Dr. Ackbar,” Ben shook Dr. Abed Ackbar’s hand, the man’s olive skin a stark contrast to his pale one. The week had passed by like a blur, and now they were in a cozy, well-lit home office in the suburbs, ready for their first therapy session.

“No problem, Mr. Solo.” Dr. Ackbar beamed, the wrinkles on his face deepening with his smile. “Or shall I call you Benjamin?”

“Ben is fine.”

Dr. Ackbar let go of his hand and turned to Rey. “And this is your stepdaughter, yes?”

“Yes. Her name’s Rey.” Ben put a gentle hand on Rey’s shoulder; nothing too intimate; more of a fatherly gesture. “Like I said over the phone, she found me after my suicide attempt. I thought it would be helpful for her to be with me during my sessions with you.”

“Understandable.” Dr. Ackbar nodded. “Suicide attempts are traumatizing especially to family members. Before anything else, I need you to understand how things will be as far as confidentiality goes...”

Dr. Ackbar began explaining about how while almost everything in the sessions will remain confidential, he would have to break confidentiality in case of a court order, if there was a reason to believe that the client was a danger to themselves or to others, and if anything like child abuse was involved. Ben tried not to look at Rey when Dr. Ackbar mentioned the last part. Either way, he knew she was smart enough not to say anything about their relationship, especially not now after Dr. Ackbar had explained his stance on confidentiality.

Taking a clipboard in hand, Dr. Ackbar sat on an armchair while Ben and Rey sat on the couch across from him. “Now, Ben. For today, I’d like to get to know you a little better. Tell me about yourself.”

Ben began telling Dr. Ackbar about his life—his sheltered childhood, the relative emotional distance of his busy parents during his adolescence, their sudden deaths, his work, the medications he was taking, the alcohol drinking and his recent reckless use of sleeping pills. He also talked about Annabelle in earnest, and Dr. Ackbar nodded, listening, scribbling, and asking questions from time to time.

Then, they talked about Ben’s suicide attempt, the means he had used to try and take his own life, and the circumstances of how Rey had found him.

“Tell me, Ben. What exactly led you to attempt suicide?” Dr. Ackbar asked.

Ben looked at Rey. He knew he would be asked this, and he had prepared an answer. “I suppose I have always thought of death as a release. I think what kept me going was the thought that I was still needed. But after I moved my stepdaughter under the care of my former head servant, I thought no one needed me anymore. I have no more family, the company is in good hands, I have no friends to speak of, and my stepdaughter was being well-cared for. Suicide seemed very...tempting at the time.”

“What would you say was the catalyst for your suicide attempt?”

Ben hesitated. He had to be careful with everything he was about to reveal, and that most definitely should not involve the true nature of his relationship with Rey. “Probably my stepdaughter leaving. I mean...the only reason I held on for years was because I had promised her mother, my deceased wife, that I would take care of her. Having her removed from my care, I suppose, freed me from that responsibility.”

“And what stopped you that day?”

Ben licked his lips. Again, he had to lie. He knew what stopped him that day was seeing a future with Rey, but he couldn’t tell Dr. Ackbar that. “The thought of my stepdaughter crying stopped me. And then she arrived shortly after I stopped myself from taking the pills and we talked things over.”

Dr. Ackbar nodded, scribbled a few notes, then turned to Rey. “And Rey. How did you feel about your stepfather’s suicide attempt?”

“I was angry,” Rey admitted, and Ben saw her wringing her hands on her lap. “But most of all I was sad. I blamed myself for it.”

“And why did you blame yourself for it?”

“I...don’t know…” Rey trailed off, and Ben watched as she scrunched up her face in thought, no doubt trying to be careful not to reveal too much. They both knew she blamed herself because she had kissed Kazuda while he looked on, but they couldn’t very well divulge that. “I guess...I thought I should have seen the signs. Maybe helped him a bit more through it.

“Do you still blame yourself for it?” Dr. Ackbar pursued.

“Sometimes.” Rey bit her trembling lower lip. “I mean, Ben has told me time and time and again that it wasn’t my fault, that he has been having problems, but I can’t help the way I feel. And I’m just...afraid that he might do it again.”

“And you live with this constant fear?”

“Yes.”

Her answer was swift, and it shook Ben to the core. “I’m so sorry, Rey.”

Rey angled her head to give him a weak, silent smile.

Dr. Ackbar continued with his questions. “So Rey...what would you say would help you get rid of this fear?”

“Ben is a man of his word,” Rey explained. “If he could just promise me that he won’t do it, I think I’ll feel better.”

Dr. Ackbar turned to Ben. “Ben? You think you can promise that you won’t make another attempt?”

“I don’t want to lie. Or make promises I can’t keep,” he answered truthfully. God knew he already broke the promise he made to Maz, although technically he didn’t make any promises; just agreed to an arrangement. “I still have suicidal thoughts on a daily basis but I’m learning to cope everyday.”

“And how do you cope?”

“I try to ignore it. Try to keep myself busy. Lately I’ve been reminding myself of reasons for living.”

“Can you tell me those reasons for living?”

“Rey. My stepdaughter,” Ben answered swiftly. Too swiftly, and he had to tell himself to curb his enthusiasm.

If Dr. Ackbar noticed his eagerness, he didn’t let on. “And what else?

“I suppose people still need me. My employees, both at the company and at home are all counting on me.”

Dr. Ackbar looked at his clipboard, tapping the end of his pen on the paper. “You mentioned you don’t have friends. What about relatives?”

“I don’t really socialize. I have an uncle who I used to be close to, but I don’t know his whereabouts,” Ben clarified. “So the only family I have left is my stepdaughter.”

Dr. Ackbar put the clipboard on his lap and templed his hands beneath his chin. “So if your stepdaughter were to be taken away like she was before, you would commit suicide?”

Ben hesitated to answer again before breathing out, “Probably yeah.” He turned to look at Rey, and swallowed when he saw her brows meeting with worry. He mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ before turning back to the therapist.

“Would you say your stepdaughter is your anchor?” Dr. Ackbar questioned.

“I would say so, yes.” Ben nodded.

Dr. Ackbar pressed his lips together. “Don’t you think that’s a lot of responsibility to place on her shoulders? Your life I mean?”

“I...suppose it is,” Ben said slowly, realization dawning on him at the therapist’s words. “It isn’t fair to her. To give her such a burden.”

At this, Dr. Ackbar let out a small smile. “Well, I’m glad you’re acknowledging that, Ben. I think from here on, we can work on healthier ways for you to cope with your depression beyond the medication, and expand your reasons for living beyond living for your stepdaughter. You need to be able to learn to live for yourself. And as long as you work with me, I can help you take the steps to achieving that.” He scribbled on his clipboard a bit before his dark eyes darted towards the wall clock. “That’s all the time we have for now. Same time next week then?”

Ben nodded. “Yes. Same time.”

* * *

The next session was more of the same, with Ben doing most of the talking and Dr. Ackbar continuing the conversation with questions. Sometimes the therapist would include Rey, but the main focus was always on Ben.

“You mentioned before you’ve always thought of death as a release, that the only thing that kept you from taking your life was the promise you made to your dead wife.” Dr. Ackbar bespectacled eyes were on his notes. “Has there been any other instances when you made an attempt besides that last episode with the sleeping pills?”

“There was one other time,” Ben admitted, then proceeded to tell Dr. Ackbar of the stormy night when he first met Annabelle. He had been walking along the city bridge, contemplating on jumping 60 feet to the chilling river below when he saw Annabelle leaning over the railing and crying, looking like she was about to jump. He had stopped her and taken her home, and that was the start of their relationship.

“Would you say that despite what she had done, that your wife actually saved you?” Dr. Ackbar surmised.

“I suppose she did.” Ben sounded a little surprised. He had never thought about it that way before. “And her making me promise to take care of her daughter kept me from making further attempts.”

Dr. Ackbar nodded slowly. “You have rather complicated feelings towards your wife, I presume.”

“She was the first woman I ever loved. And the first one to break my heart,” Ben explained, not without a hint of bitterness. “She destroyed me completely and I hated her for it. But looking back now...I suppose I should feel grateful. Like you said, she actually saved me that night, saved me even more by having me look after her daughter.” Gratefulness such as he had never felt before swelled within him. Annabelle may have left him in tatters, but she had saved him by bearing Rey, who turned out to be his raft through the storm that was his life.

Dr. Ackbar asked, “Can you tell me why you made that first attempt? At the bridge?”

Ben let out a breath. He had never told this to anyone; only mentioned it briefly to Rey. Now would be the first time he would divulge everything. “My parents had recently died from a car crash. The night before they died, I got into an argument with them, mostly about my future and what they wanted it to be. I asserted myself, wanting to pave my own way, travel the world. They didn’t want me to do that. I said things I shouldn’t have and my father left with my mother so they could cool their heads off. That’s when they encountered a drunk driver.” He felt his voice catch at the last part, the memory of having to identify their bodies assailing him, and if it weren’t for Rey’s gentle hand on his shoulder, he might have broken down. “Not a day goes by that I don’t wonder what could have happened if I had just done what they asked and followed in their footsteps immediately. In the end, I did follow, I did take over the company, built it up to what it is today, but I know no matter what I do that it would never bring them back. That I’d never be able to gain their approval or apologize for all the things I said.”

Dr. Ackbar was silent for a moment, seeming to allow Ben to compose himself before saying, “What do you think your parents would say if they saw you now?”

“I...don’t know.” Ben shook his head. “My father’s always expressed his disapproval of everything I do and my mother’s been constantly disappointed at me.”

“But wasn’t it at your hands that your company really took off?” Dr. Ackbar reminded. “Don’t you think that maybe they could have been proud of the man you have become?”

“I think they would have been proud,” Rey chimed in when Ben didn’t speak. “I know I am.”

“Thank you, Rey.” Seeming to forget himself, he reached over to take her hand in his and gently caressed her knuckle. It took a few moments for him to remember they weren’t alone in the room, and he quickly let go of her hand.

Dr. Ackbar however, didn’t seem to notice the display as he went over his notes. “Ben, was there ever a time when you weren’t depressed?”

Ben thought back. “When I was younger I suppose. I felt I had everything--loving parents, a comfortable life...all that changed when they became more and more involved with the company though. And I was also happy during the first several months of my marriage before I found out about Annabelle’s affairs and that the baby wasn’t even mine. After that, I felt like I was barely hanging on by a thread.”

“And yet you held on. Why is that?”

Ben frowned. “I guess I was foolish enough to believe that she would come back to me, particularly after she was diagnosed with Leukemia. She didn’t. The affairs continued well into her pregnancy and I ended up drinking every night. Then the baby...Rey was born...and Annabelle made me promise to take care of her, so I continued to hold on.”

Dr. Ackbar seemed to think for a while. “You claim to have grown to hate your wife. But you still promised you would take care of her illegitimate daughter. Why?”

“I hated her true, but at the same time, I still loved her. It’s very complicated,” Ben said, doing his best to explain. “I felt responsible towards the child because with Annabelle dying and her family estranged from her, who else was supposed to take care of Rey but me?”

“Did you at one point resent Rey?”

“I resented her mother, not her. Rey was a victim of circumstances and was in no way at fault.”

“Most men would come to resent the child in such circumstances. It’s a natural emotion to have.”

“I’m not most men.” Most men don’t fall in love with their teenage stepdaughters either, he thought to himself, but of course didn’t say.

Dr. Ackbar jotted down some notes before turning to Rey. “Rey, how was your relationship with your stepfather growing up?”

“He was distant up until recently,” Rey said, and that made Ben go still. Something told him she shouldn’t have said that.

“Until recently?” Dr. Ackbar cocked an eyebrow. “What was it that brought you closer together? Because I had the impression that you two were always so close.”

Rey shrugged, scrunching up her face in thought again. “Just the little things. Him taking care of me whenever I get sick, sharing meals together, talking and learning more about each other, our common interests, stuff like that.”

“And how do you feel about the fact that he says he is only alive because of you?” Dr. Ackbar pressed on.

Rey’s breath seemed to catch in her throat, and slowly, she said, “I’m...I’m happy he is alive. And I’m happy that I’m able to keep him alive, but at the same time...I do feel pressured.”

She was being honest and open. It stung Ben to hear her say she felt pressured.

“Why do you feel pressured?” Dr. Ackbar pushed.

Rey licked her lips, then began gesturing with her hands as she spoke. “Because I keep on wondering...what if I’m not here? What would happen to him then? It makes me afraid to leave his side. I’m all he’s got and if something happens to me...I’m afraid of what he might do to himself. I feel like it would be all on me.”

Dr. Ackbar nodded in understanding. “So what you’re saying is that you feel responsible for keeping him alive, hence the pressure.”

“Well...yes.”

Dr. Ackbar once again turned to Ben and said, “Ben...do you see what this is doing to your stepdaughter?”

“Yes. I’m so sorry Rey. I didn’t realize.” Again, he reached out to take her hand in his, no longer caring if the therapist was watching. He needed to touch her, needed to comfort her in every way he could. “I don’t want this. You living in fear...it’s not the kind of life you deserve to live. I’ll better myself. I promise.”

“Will you learn to live for yourself and not just me?” Rey asked in a small voice, and Ben nodded without hesitation.

“Yes. If that’s what it takes, I promise.”

* * *

For the next few weeks, Dr. Ackbar worked with Ben on his issues of self-worth, which was apparently in shambles due to his upbringing and especially because of Annabelle. He had Ben keep a journal where he would write down every happy thought he had everyday. Not surprisingly, the pages were filled with Rey, which was why he couldn’t show the journal to Dr. Ackbar. But soon, he began to add other things too--how proud he was of his work, the daily tasks he was able to complete, the shared happiness he had felt upon promoting an employee, some positive things he had witnessed, the thought that maybe, just maybe his parents would be proud of what he had accomplished. He was still a work-in-progress, but little by little, he was learning to like himself more and more, and he could slowly see why Rey had fallen for him.

He wasn’t half-bad, he joked to himself.

As for Rey, Ben still drove her two hours to see her friends over at Maz’s town almost every weekend after therapy. He knew she needed to socialize despite the fact that she no longer went to school with them. She still texted and called her friends everyday, even kept communication lines open with that boy Kazuda. But Ben didn’t feel jealous. Not anymore. He had faith in Rey. Had faith in himself that he was worthy of her love and loyalty. And Rey was only too happy to spend time with her friends. He would let them go wherever they wanted while he waited patiently in the coffee shop for Rey to come back. She always did.

They tried to visit Maz from time to time, but the old woman seemed extremely uncomfortable with each visit that they always kept it short until they stopped going altogether. It made Rey sad, but the loss of Maz was the price they had to pay to be together.

Dr.  Ackbar was proud of Ben’s progress, though he did mention that there will be times when Ben would falter, and when such setbacks happen, that he should just simply dust himself off and try again. The therapist also suggested for Ben to have a change of scenery for once, a change of routine; do something that would make him happy, do the things he had always wanted to do, and it was a suggestion that had Ben thinking.

* * *

Ben kept his lips on Rey’s as he thrust into her, her slick, intimate flesh shaping and reshaping to fit his need, enveloping him in its snug warmth. Her legs tightened around his waist, pulling him ever closer, ever deeper into her heat as their lips and tongues danced intimately with each other.

Moans and gasps reverberated through Ben’s room. This was where Rey practically lived now, where they made love as often as they could and that lazy Sunday afternoon was no exception. Their lovemaking was unhurried, borne out of a simple need to physically express how they felt about each other. There was no urgency; no chasing after time. Just two people in love and with all the time in the world, bringing each other to bliss.

Ben moved from her lips to her throat, peppering it with open mouthed kisses and grazing his teeth against her skin while he continued to penetrate her. He loved the feel of her tight, slippery flesh around him, loved the music in her little mewls of pleasure, loved the look of ecstasy on her face made more erotic with each thrust into her body. He loved the closeness of her, the way she fit against him, moved against him. He loved everything about her--mind, heart, body and soul--and until now he had a hard time believing that she would be in his arms day in and day out, that she could actually love him the way she did, and he had to remind himself that he was worthy. He was worth this gift, this little piece of Heaven that was Rey. He deserved this happiness with her because he was worth it.

“Rey...oh, Rey…” he whispered her name reverently, once more returning to her lips, holding her small body flush against his as he picked up the pace, moving her back and forth on the pillows. She whimpered with every plunge of his cock, still a little unused to his length and girth even after all this time, but her wetness and whispers to be taken told him how much she wanted this. How much she wanted him.

“Deeper, Ben…” she breathed in his ear, cheek pressed against his as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, nails digging at the skin of his back. “Yes...yes...oh right there...right there…”

She arched against him, and he was only too eager to snap his hips to hers the way she wanted it, hitting something so deep, so primal within her as to cause her to growl and sink her teeth at the crook of his neck, leaving a mark.

Once her lips left his skin, he tightened his hold on her and rose up until they were both in a sitting position, his legs splayed, her legs bent on either side of him, his cock still buried within her cunt as their breaths mingled and their gazes locked. Rey seemed a bit surprised by the change in position at first, but soon her expression melted into delight as she rolled her hips and slammed herself down on him while he thrust upwards.

They stayed that way for a while, kissing, touching, hips rolling and thrusting in rhythm, the pressure building slowly until Ben couldn’t take it anymore and laid down, Rey still straddled on top of him as he gripped her wrist and begun fucking upwards into her cunt.

“Ben! Oh Ben!” she wailed with each powerful thrust he made, her chestnut hair bouncing all around her. He impaled her over and over, the pleasure building up to a crescendo until they both shouted at their climax, shuddering against each other.

Panting, Ben pumped into her a few more times, never pulling out. He had stopped wearing condoms a week into Rey’s religious taking of her birth control pills, and he found that he liked the thought of leaving something of himself within her. Sometimes, he would finish outside of her, but he was quick to realize that she orgasmed more when he didn’t pull out.

Feeling himself softening, he got her off him and had her lay beside him, her head nuzzled at the crook of his shoulder. Cuddling was always something he looked forward to at the aftermath of their lovemaking, and he turned so he could kiss her hair. “You make my heart full, my love.”

“And you complete me,” Rey sighed dreamily, her hand over his heart and Ben couldn’t think of a more perfect moment than this. Certainly, there will be more perfect moments with her, and he had that and more to look forward to in the future.

After a moment of companionable silence, he said, “I’ve taken the entire week off starting next week.”

“What?” Rey looked up at him in surprise. “Why?”

“Because I’m going to do as Dr. Ackbar suggested. Do something I have always wanted to do.” He looked down towards her, and with a smile, said, “I’m going to travel. See a bit of the the world. I think I deserve it.”

There was a brief pause on Rey’s part. “Yes, you do. You deserve a break, Ben.” She grew quiet again before saying softly, “I’ll be waiting for you when you get back, I guess.”

Her less than enthusiastic response actually got Ben laughing, and he turned his body so he could wrap his arms around her, kissing her nose. “Silly girl. I want you to come with me.”

“What?”

“Your passport from a few years ago hasn’t expired.” Ben shrugged. “And I’ve already made arrangements for us to fly out in a few days.”

The light returned to Rey’s eyes and a smile lit up her lips. “Where are we going?”

“Well…I remember I did promise I’d take you to the beach,” he said, thinking about the time when they had danced; when they had talked about beach weddings, and his smile grew wider. “How does the tropics sound?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to insert a bit of smut in there. Come on, I know what's coming, I need our babies to be happy even for a little bit T_T
> 
> Ben's finally going to get to travel and this time he's with Rey. This will go as well as you think and no I'm not being sarcastic :) Still thinking about where they would go. The Maldives is out of the question since that's where Annabelle and Ben had their honeymoon so I have to think about somewhere else. I do already have ideas but we'll see if I push through with it.
> 
> Thank you so much dear readers for being here and for continuing to read this fic. Next chapter will be some light moments...maybe some hot moments...because we will all need it for what's to come. Thanks again for all your support!
> 
> And by the way, I've taken to tagging people in my tumblr posts for each chapter so if you want to be updated that way, please head on over to secretreylo.tumblr.com and send me a private message or even an ask with your username in it (so no anons). Thanks again and see you soon in the next chapter!


	37. WAVES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben go off on a much deserved vacation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an uber long chapter guys, much longer than my previous chapter and it clocks in at almost 6,000 words so be prepared for a long read.
> 
> This is basically fluff, smut, plus a plot at the very end. Also a bit of Ben flaunting off his wealth. Tags are updated again so give them a read just in case. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> One more thing. This is probably the chapter with the strongest Daddy Kink in all the chapters I've written.
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

Rey was giddy with excitement as she and Ben entered the plane, greeted by stewardess after stewardess as they were guided towards the First Class cabin. She had never been on an airplane before, much less flown in one, and she was eager to start this whole week of whole new experiences.

She smoothed out her mint green sweater and white skirt as she followed closely behind Ben, who wore a dark blazer over his own sweater, his trousers tight around his legs, giving her quite an eyeful of his nicely shaped rear end. It was a view she certainly enjoyed when they had gone to the mall the day before, to shop for clothes suited for the tropical climate of their island destination in the Philippines.

Rey felt her jaw drop when they finally reached the First Class cabin. Ben had settled on the seat right next to hers, separated only by a small partition so they were pretty much seated side by side, hers being the window seat. The stewardess explained that the seats could be converted into a bed, and that they also have a pull out table for when they take their meals. Each seat also had its own flat screen TV, and charging ports, and WIFI was available on board too.

“It’s so luxurious,” Rey breathed as she sat down on her seat, eyes all around the cabin. There were other seats around them but they were few and currently empty. “And spacious too. I mean, I thought planes only had those seats that are all cramped in together.”

“They actually have a couple suite here, complete with a double bed and privacy.” Ben smiled and lowered his voice to a whisper. “I would’ve gotten that but it would’ve raised too many questions.”

Rey blushed at his implication, and Ben reached for her hand to caress her knuckle, letting go when the stewardess came back in to ask if they needed anything.

Time passed, and more First Class passengers came in until the few seats were filled. Rey spent the entire time talking to Ben about the things she would do once they got to the island resort of Amanmalican. She was so excited, so ready for it, that she grew impatient for the plane to take off, and expressed so to Ben.

“You’re going to have to be more patient, sweetheart,” he chuckled. “This is an almost 24 hour flight after all, with two stops no less.”

“24 hours?” Rey repeated incredulously. “What are we supposed to do for 24 hours?”

“We have entertainment. We have WIFI. There’s also a lounge where we can get drinks and finger food.” Ben explained with a shrug. “And you’ll have me. That should be more than enough.”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “You’re getting way too confident with yourself ever since therapy, you know that?”

He laughed, and it was a melodious rumble of baritones that she could listen to forever. “Come on, you like it.”

“Fine, maybe I do,” she said coyly, just as the stewardess returned to inform them that they would be taking off shortly.

The take off wasn’t exactly pleasant for Rey. Sure, there was a rush of adrenaline as the plane sped up and rose to the skies, but the shaking and the banking made Rey sick, especially when she looked out the window and saw sky become land and back to sky again. It got so bad for her, she had to use the sickness bag, with Ben rubbing her back as she hurled her meal from before the flight. She was so embarrassed, but thankfully the stewardess was understanding and none of the other passengers seemed to be overly bothered. Once it was safe to take off the seat belt however, she dashed off to the lavatory and vomited out the rest of her meal, leaving her weak and empty by the end of it, but with no appetite to replace what she had lost. When she returned, Ben quickly gave her some Dramamine, which helped greatly with the motion sickness but caused her to fall into a much needed sleep.

It was morning by the time she woke up, and Ben was busy looking over the menu. When he noticed her sit up from her converted bed, he beamed. “How’s my baby girl? Did you sleep okay? Do you still feel sick?”

“I’m okay. Just hungry though.” She stretched and stared at the menu in his hand. “What do they have?”

“They have your favorite.” He pointed at a picture. “Spaghetti and meatballs. Do you want me to order this for you?”

“No, I think I’ll have something else.” Rey scowled for a little bit, but perked up when her gaze moved towards the salad section of the menu. “Oooh this looks good. Asparagus Caprese Salad.”

Ben frowned at her. “But you hate asparagus.”

“I’ve acquired a taste for it,” she explained. “Chef made me some asparagus based dishes last week and I liked it.”

“Okay. If you say so,” he said unsurely, and pressed a button to call a stewardess.

* * *

After what seemed like countless hours and two stopovers later, they finally arrived in the Philippines at morning the next day. They had since changed into more climate appropriate clothes--Rey in a yellow, floral print sundress with thin straps, Ben in a white sleeveless top and knee-length shorts, both of them wearing sunglasses and flip flops. A representative of the Amanmalican Resort was ready to meet them as they exited the airport, and they were taken via private car to the resort lounge, where they would later be ushered into a private charter plane which would take them to the island resort.

It would take another hour for them to reach Amanmalican Resort, which was located on a small, remote island, far removed from the hustles and bustles of modern cities. The plane was much smaller than the previous ones Rey had ridden, and the turbulence and banking much worse but she had anticipated this and taken Dramamine ahead of time, causing her to fall asleep for most of the flight.  

Later, Ben gently woke her up from across the aisle. They had arrived at last, though she could barely enjoy the warm welcome of the resort staff, which included leis, traditional music and even a red carpet. She was still too sleepy from the medicine and too jet lagged from the flight, that she even managed to doze off on Ben’s shoulder in the buggy ride to the resort. Once there, she followed Ben to the reception area as he started the process of checking in to their two bedroom private villa. When the receptionist turned away for a moment, Ben leaned down to whisper that the resort also had a one bedroom private villa, but again, they had to be discreet so he didn’t take it. Far as everyone knew, they were just a father and daughter out on a holiday.

Rey headed directly to bed as soon as they were escorted with their luggage into their villa, plopping down on the mattress and pulling the white sheets around her. Later, Ben would lay down under the covers beside her, also jet lagged, curling against her back with one arm over her waist.

The other bedroom would remain unused for the duration of their stay.

* * *

Rey woke up late in the afternoon. She was still a bit groggy, but more alert this time. Ben was still lightly snoring away, and she rubbed the sleep from her eyes before looking around the bedroom.

The air-conditioned room was a combination of marble walls and polished wood. Across the bed were three window walls with its shades up, offering a great view of the nearby beach. For entertainment, there was a large flat screen tv and a sound system, and Rey assumed the place also had WIFI.

She slipped out of bed, deciding now would be a good time to do some exploring. She quietly walked out of the bedroom, finding the rest of the villa just as pretty and well-maintained--from the plush white cushions on rattan couches and sofas of the living room, to the tub big enough for two in the spacious bathroom, to the vase of white orchids on the round table in the dining room. There was even a small kitchen, though she imagined she and Ben would most likely be ordering food from their assigned chef rather than cook for themselves.

Through the window walls surrounding the living room, Rey could see that there was what she assumed to be a private pool, though she was more interested in the beach.

Hurrying outside of the villa, she followed the stone path which led her to the villa’s access to the beach. She practically squealed when she saw the clear, turquoise waters, which was slowly turning orange under the hue of the setting sun. She kicked off her flip flops so she could feel the cool, fine sand beneath her feet before she stepped into ankle deep water, giggling as white fish darted around her. She was still beaming by the time she looked up at the horizon, her eyes on the sunset, loving the colorful tones it made to the skies, clouds and seas.  

“There you are.”

She turned and saw Ben walking towards her. He smiled as he discarded his flip flops before wading into the water with her, hugging her from behind and kissing her neck.

“Ben...someone might see us,” Rey cautioned.

“It’s a private villa, my love, and this is a private stretch of beach just for us. No one disturbs us unless we want to be disturbed.” He licked a wet stripe from the shell of her ear to the base of her neck, making her moan and turn so that they could kiss. They must look like a romantic pair, she thought, kissing in the sunset like this, water lapping at their feet.

After the kiss, they began to walk hand in hand along the shoreline. “Have you been here before, Ben?”

“It’s only my second time out of the States and my first time in this country so no, I’ve never been.” Ben shook his head. “But this resort came highly recommended. Celebrities often go vacationing here.”

“This must be really expensive,” Rey murmured.

Ben only smiled. “Only the best for you, my love.”

They both fell into comfortable silence for a moment, simply enjoying the breeze and the cool water on their feet before Rey remembered something. “You mentioned before that you went to the Maldives for your honeymoon with Mother. What was that like?”

“To be honest, it wasn’t so good,” Ben admitted. “She was sick almost the entirety of our honeymoon trip and slept a lot. It was early in her pregnancy and she had severe morning sickness. She even puked on me when I couldn’t get her to the bathroom fast enough. So that wasn’t very conducive to romance.” He frowned, likely from the memory. “But let’s not talk about her. Let’s just enjoy the time that we have together now.”

And enjoy their time they did. They spent the rest of the late afternoon simply walking and talking, basking in the last glow of sunlight before they headed back to the villa.

Their accommodation package included a personal butler, a chef and a housekeeper at their beck and call, though there were extra staff that came in to serve them dinner, which consisted of seafood caught straight from the surrounding seas. Rey was only too delighted with the feast, and ate until she couldn’t eat anymore.

As the night darkened and the staff left, Rey retired with Ben to the bedroom. Still too jet lagged to make love, they settled for lazy kissing and heavy petting before once again falling asleep in each other’s arms.

* * *

Rey felt much better the next day, and excitedly woke Ben up by pounding him with a pillow. She wanted to go snorkeling. She knew how to swim of course, being that they have a pool back in Alderaan Manor but she had never swam in the sea before.

“Breakfast first before snorkeling,” Ben said as he got up, hitting Rey playfully with his own pillow until they got into a pillow fight, laughing as they chased each other around the villa, stopping only when Ben grabbed her and kissed her into submission.

Ben requested an all-American breakfast with some tropical fruit for dessert as per Rey’s request. She knew he thought it was an odd choice but she found that she liked the after taste of bacon, eggs and toast combined with the sweetness of mango, pineapple and watermelon in her mouth. It was a burst of flavors she couldn’t seem to get enough of.

Later in the bathroom, Ben changed into a pair of black speedos while Rey put on a two piece lilac bikini. She blushed as she stared at Ben, large and chiseled like a Greek statue, the outline of his cock clear through his swimwear. Ben, for his part, looked like his mouth was watering as he stared back at her.

“I didn’t know you bought that,” he said in a low voice. And it was true, she had purposefully kept this purchase from him when they went shopping.

“I wanted to surprise you.” She turned around. “Does it look good on me?”

Ben growled, and before she could take her next breath, he had her turned and bent over the bathroom vanity’s marble counter top while he gripped her hips and began humping her from behind. Rey was instantly reminded of the time when they didn’t have sex yet, when they would stimulate each other through their clothes, and she moaned at the memory, even more so when she felt Ben grow harder and harder.

They were only a few minutes into humping when Ben stopped. From the mirror, she saw him take his cock out and pump it vigorously until he came, thick ropes of sticky white fluid squirting on the small of her back. His cock now flaccid, he pulled her off the counter top and sat on one of the cushioned bathroom seats with her on his lap, his chest warm against her back. “Let me get you off, sweetheart.”

He took off her bikini bottom, dragging it down to her knees before plunging his fingers between her folds, rubbing at her clit while his other hand pulled her bikini top up to reveal her small breasts. He palmed a breast while continuing to be attentive to her clit, his lips leaving marks on the nape of her neck where it couldn’t be seen through the thickness of her chestnut hair. She looked up and saw them together in the mirror, and it was one of the most erotic sights she had ever seen, with their faces flushed, her bikini undone, and his hands and lips all over her.

It didn’t take long for her to climax in his hand, her screams echoing in the bathroom until she lay limp in his arms. He tugged down her bikini top and pulled up her bikini bottom while she squeezed her legs together, feeling her folds squelch with her juices. She hoped it won’t leave a visible stain. They still had a full day at the beach ahead of them.

* * *

After breakfast, a small boat took them and a few other resort guests to some nearby coral reefs, where they could swim, snorkel and feed the fishes. Rey especially loved the way the fish swam all around her, the feed she provided quickly disappearing in a haze of colorful fins, tails and scales. She was even able to spot a sea turtle, and she excitedly pointed it out to Ben, who seemed just as delighted at the sight.

After snorkeling, the boat took them to a floating cottage for lunch. Rey wanted more asparagus, but the chef only had seafood and spices. She was disappointed, but she settled for the fresh fish they offered, pairing it with a drink of coconut juice.

She and Ben spent the rest of the afternoon canoeing and paddle boarding as well as sunbathing on the divan beds by the beach. By the time they got back to the villa, they were both tanned, and thanks to the generous amount of sunscreen they applied, neither of them had any sunburns.

Wrapping themselves up in white terry cloth robes, they headed off to the dining room, with Ben calling on the landline to request for service.

Dinner was another sumptuous feast. The chef was just as good as chef at home, and Rey was finally able to request an asparagus dish to go with the rest of the seafood, which she ate with gusto.

She and Ben talked about the day; shared their excitement over the new experiences they had, reliving everything through words, memories and the pictures Ben managed to snap using his waterproof action camera. They talked well after the servers had taken the dishes away and left them alone in the dining room.

“This is a really beautiful place, Ben,” Rey commented. “You did great picking this resort.”

“I know. It’s just perfect for a beach wedding, don’t you think?” Ben’s stare was so intense, she had to look away with a blush. He reached across the table and took her hand in his, running his thumb over her knuckle as he said, “We’ll come back here in four years time, okay sweetheart?”

There was meaning behind his words. In four years she would be 18. Legal. Allowed to marry. Was Ben…

Before she could finish her train of thought, Ben stood up and took off his robe, leaving it on the chair. “Let’s go for a swim in the pool, shall we, love?”

Rey nodded and took off her own robe before taking Ben’s hand as they walked outside towards the pool. They jumped in together, laughing as they rose up for air and splashed one another. They eventually ended up racing from one end of the pool to the other. Ben, with his longer limbs, naturally won.

“Just wait til I’m grown,” she grumbled as he pumped his fists up in victory. “I’ll beat you yet.”

“I’m sure you will, sweetheart.” He laughed before swimming closer to her, his lips swiftly and hotly on hers.

She pulled away. “Ben...what if the staff comes back?”

“They’re done for the night,” he mumbled and dragged her to the pool steps, where he sat down and had her straddle his lap, the water lapping at his chest. He cupped the back of her head and pulled her into an even deeper kiss, which left her sighing into his mouth. Ben was becoming increasingly amorous; not that she minded. Between the connecting flights and the jet lag, and besides their brief stint in the bathroom that morning, they hadn’t been physical with each other since the night before they left the States. And she knew he was starved for contact as much as she was.

Rey groaned when Ben pulled up her bikini top again like he did in the bathroom, but this time, he didn’t just tend to her breasts with his hands. This time, he lowered his head and began suckling her, tongue swirling around a taut nipple, lips clamping from one small mound to the other. Rey threw her head back and arched into his warm mouth, closing her eyes as the sensations flooded through her.

“Such perfect little breasts you have my love,” Ben mumbled into her skin. “So perfect and just for me.”

He continued planting wet kisses on her chest before trailing up to her neck and finding her lips again, his tongue darting inside to dance with her own. They made out for a little while longer until Rey couldn’t take it anymore and begged Ben to take her back into their room. He nodded and stepped out of the water with her, their hot, wet bodies cooling in the night air as they hurried back inside, stopping in the bathroom first to dry themselves up and step out of their swimwear.

Rey faced the mirror. She could see the pale outline of her bikini clearly against her tanned skin, and she felt a little silly. “These tan lines look weird.”

“I don’t know. I happen to find them sexy,” Ben commented huskily. “Makes you look like you’re wearing something, except you’re actually wearing nothing.”

He approached her from behind, swept her hair aside and began sucking on her neck. She whimpered when she felt teeth, even more so when his hands moved to massage her still pale breasts and tug on her nipples, rolling them between his thumbs and forefingers. She stepped back so she could press her naked body closer to his, and felt him already hot and hard against the small of her back. She was soon drenched between her legs, and she squeezed her thighs together in search of friction.

Ben stopped massaging her breasts and scooped her up in his arms, kissing her deeply before carrying her back in the room and gently depositing her on the bed.

“Turn around,” he ordered.

Rey blinked, a little confused.

“Get on your hands and knees, baby girl,” he clarified.

Rey did as she was told, hands and knees on the mattress, head angled so she could still look him in the eye as he climbed up the bed from behind her. Ben massaged her ass cheeks, then suddenly slapped it. Rey yelped, more in surprise than in pain. He had never done something like that before, and for some strange reason, it sent a tingling sensation through her that wasn’t at all unpleasant, making her pussy clench.

“You like that baby girl?” he hummed as he kneaded her ass again, dissipating the sting until it started to feel good. “Is this okay for you?”

Rey nodded, not quite sure what to say. She did like it, which was strange to her. She had never enjoyed pain before, but it wasn’t like it hurt that bad; like Ben made sure to inflict just the right amount of pain as to be pleasurable.

Almost involuntarily, she canted her hips as though to beg for more, and she whined when his open palm hit her ass again.

“Beautiful tits...beautiful ass…” He slapped her ass again, and she mewled as the pleasant sting warmed her, sending delightful vibrations through her nether regions. “I lucked out in the lottery…”

Ben continued to spank her, then knead her ass cheeks lovingly before he spanked her again. Pain, pleasure and delicious vibrations began to take over Rey, leaving her panting.

Without warning, he parted her ass cheeks and dove tongue first into her dripping cunt. She moaned loudly at the welcome intrusion, her hands clawing at the sheets as his tongue lapped up her slick insides while he fingered her clit until she was left a sobbing mess.

Just as she was about to fall over the edge, he pulled away, and she huffed in frustration at the loss of contact. Still on all fours on the bed, she turned her head to look at him, only to find him pumping his cock and lining it up behind her. She could feel the head sliding around her slippery folds in search of entry, and she gasped when he found her, slipping in a centimeter at a time until he was fully sheathed inside her.

“Oh God,” Rey wailed as he began plowing her from behind, what little flesh there was in her breasts swinging beneath her with his every move. He had never taken her like this before, and he was impossibly deep inside her, deeper than he had ever been, his hard flesh scraping at her insides pleasantly over and over.

“I’ve been waiting for this for days,” he cooed happily, pistoning his hip and pulling her towards him, sheathing and unsheathing himself within her. “Do you like this baby girl? Do you like what Daddy’s doing to you?”

“Y-Yes, Daddy.” Rey shuddered with every movement of his cock, fingers curling around the sheets. “M-More…”

“Baby girl wants more, hmm?” Still penetrating her, Ben leaned over so his lips were close to her ear, hands still pulling her hips back and forth on his rutting cock. “Say ‘please’.”

“Please…”

“Please what?”

“Please, Daddy, f...f...fuck me some more…”

“Good girl…” He pulled back to an upright position again and began fucking her in earnest, causing Rey to moan out his name as he repeatedly plunged into her, the sounds of their sex echoing throughout the bedroom.

Ben spanked her again as he rutted, and Rey winced from the pleasure and pain, not just from the slap, but also from his cock. They had made love more times than she could count, and yet she still had a hard time getting used to the sheer size of him, and it couldn’t be truer now that this position allowed him to be this deep inside her.

Then, she felt him drape himself over her again, his hard chest warm against her back as his hand snaked down to where they were connected, parting her folds until he got to the engorged nub of her clit.

She gasped when he started rubbing her with abandon, her walls clenching around him, making him snap his hips ever faster, her ass and breasts jiggling with every one of his deep, fast strokes. Bracing her hands so she could support the slight heft of his weight on her, she turned her head, hoping to look into his eyes, only to be met by his face close to hers, their lips connecting briefly before they stuck their tongues out, licking at each other as he continued to impale her on his hard cock.

Then, he suddenly grabbed her by the elbows, pulling her up so she was no longer braced on the mattress, his hips snapping now at an upwards angle while her body helplessly jolted with his thrusts, her hair flying all around her.

“B-Ben…”

“You fucking love this, baby girl?” he rasped, still slamming upwards, still holding her up by the elbows. She almost felt as though she was flying. “Tell Daddy how much you love this.”

“I love it, Daddy,” she wailed, feeling herself clench even more at all the talking he was doing. She was so full of him, stretched so pleasantly and yet she couldn’t seem to get enough. “More, Daddy, more!”

“Baby girl, so wild,” he grunted, then lowered her arms back to the mattress, pressing his weight down on her until she was flat on her stomach, her legs splayed, his cock still penetrating her, and his chest rubbing along the planes of her back as he continued to move inside her in a punishing pace.

Rey buried her face into the sheets, muffling her squeals as Ben slipped his hand beneath her and stimulated her clit again. She was getting close. She could feel it tingling at the base of her spine, rising higher and higher until her young body gave in to an intense orgasm that left her screaming into the night, and she writhed and shuddered beneath him as wave upon wave of pleasure continued to crash down on her, leaving her limp on the bed when it finally ebbed away.

A few more snaps of the hip, and Ben also came, roaring like a wounded animal as he finished inside of her. She could feel every twitch of his cock with every shot of cum, and soon the middle of her legs was a sticky mess of mixed bodily fluids.

He didn’t leave her right away, and instead spent a minute or two planting kisses on her shoulder, neck and the side of her face, all the while whispering how much he loved her. She muttered ‘I love you’ back, weak, sore, yet blissfully satiated.

After a time, Ben finally pulled out and pulled her body towards his, spooning her from behind. He always did love to cuddle, Rey thought, and she couldn’t be any happier that he did. There was something about still being enveloped in each other at the aftermath of lovemaking that made her heart fuller than it already was.

“That was intense,” Ben said after his breathing had slowed back to normal.

“I know. I don’t think I’ve ever felt you so deep,” Rey remarked, stroking his strong forearms which were encircled around her slim waist.

“Did you enjoy it, baby girl?” he asked, his breath tickling her ear. “Does Daddy know how to make you feel good?”

“Yes, Daddy.” She giggled, then stopped. “Ben...can I ask you something a little personal?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Why do you like being called Daddy so much?” she asked, turning her head so she could look him in the eye. “Not that I’m complaining. I like calling you that.”

Ben propped his head up with a hand and stared at her, his full lips pressing together for a moment before he answered. “I suppose it has something to do about being in power, yet at the same time being able to nurture. Dominate and protect. To be able to claim you as mine and care for you as mine. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, it does.” Rey nodded, then fell deep in thought before she added, “Did Mother ever call you Daddy?”

He snorted. “No. The first and last time I tried to do dirty talk and have her call me Daddy, she slapped me and screamed at me, yelling at me to never do it again.”

“Why would she do that?” Rey frowned. “I mean, for me, it’s a form of endearment.”

“I don’t know.” Ben shrugged, then smiled slyly at her. “Just goes to show how so much more compatible we are, huh?”

Rey giggled again before turning around to face him fully, leaning over to kiss him chastely on the lips. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, baby girl.”

* * *

The next few days were an eclectic mix of food, outdoor activities and lovemaking. Ben taught her how to bike until they were riding through the trails together. They went snorkeling again and feeding the fish, swam close to shore at their private beach and made sand castles. They also rode a jet ski together, Rey clinging on for dear life whenever Ben sped up, water spraying at the sides of her legs with every wave they took on. They even went parasailing together, in what was probably one of the most frightening and thrilling experiences of her life. Food was great, the service was stellar, and the lovemaking...oh, the lovemaking was exciting. Ever since that first night, Ben had introduced her to more positions and she found that she was rather flexible, much to Ben’s delight, and she was only too eager to discover him and herself over and over as they made love in almost every part of the villa.

All too soon, the week was over. Rey hated saying goodbye to such a beautiful place, and as she glumly began to pack her clothes, Ben pulled her into an embrace and said, “Don’t worry sweetheart. We’ll come back again in a few years.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

That finally made her smile, and as he tilted her head up to kiss her, her mind wandered off to images of white laces and flowers in her chestnut hair.

* * *

The travel back to the States was long, but thankfully comfortable. Rey didn’t get sick on the plane ride back anymore, which was probably because Ben had her take some Dramamine beforehand. And now, they were in the backseat of the Benz, Artoo in the driver’s seat as they drove ever closer to the manor. Back to home. Back to reality after spending days in paradise.

Ben looked down at the crook of his shoulder, where Rey leaned against him, asleep and jet lagged. He was jet lagged too, and he couldn’t wait to get back to the manor so he could sink into the comfort of his own bed.

He pulled Rey a little closer to him and looked back on their holiday together with fondness. He had thought of it as an advanced honeymoon of sorts. And in four years, when Rey turned 18, they would return to that island to get married, away from the prying, judgmental eyes of people. He hadn’t thought about what would happen after that yet though, but they had time. He’ll figure it out. He always did.

When they arrived in Alderaan Manor, he carried a sleeping Rey into the great house while Artoo and Threepio handled their luggage. He then took Rey into her room, not his, and laid her gently on the bed. He couldn’t very well have Artoo, Threepio or any of the servants finding her in his room, especially since they were bound to come in with some of their things as well as their souvenirs. He would see about getting her in his room again later tonight, when everyone was asleep.

Tucking Rey under the covers, Ben leaned over to kiss her forehead. She stirred, but didn’t wake. He smiled. Time for him to get some shut eye too.

He left her bedside and started out of the room when Threepio appeared at the doorway.

“There you are, Master Solo. I need to speak with you. It’s a matter of urgency.”

“Where are the luggage?” Ben asked, looking at the butler’s empty hands. “Did you have the maids take the used clothes to the wash?”

“Yes, sir.” Threepio nodded. “I have taken the luggage to storage. All the toiletries and other items are being sorted as we speak and will be brought up to your rooms later.”

“Good, good. What did you need to talk to me about?”

Threepio reached inside his black suit and presented Ben with a piece of paper. “An Atty. Moden Canady has been calling all week. He says he represents a Mr. Abraham Snoke. And they’re calling in regards to Mistress Reynabelle. They wish to speak with you about her at the soonest possible time.”

Abraham Snoke? Snoke? Ben’s mind instantly honed in on one conclusion: Annabelle’s family. He knew nothing and no one from Annabelle’s family of course. She had never talked about them except to say she was estranged from them. And the more he thought about it, the more dread seeped into his bones.

“Thank you, Threepio,” he said, dismissing the butler as he strode towards his study. Once there, he went to his desk and placed a call to the number on the paper Threepio had given him.

It took three rings before a deep, almost raspy voice answered. “Hello?”

“Yes, this is Benjamin Solo calling for Atty. Moden Canady. You wish to speak with me about my stepdaughter?”

“This isn’t Canady.”

“Oh.” Ben looked at the paper again, unsure now if he had dialed the correct number. “I’m sorry. I must’ve dialed the wrong number.”

“No, you did not, Mr. Solo. In fact, I have been waiting for your call for a long time.”

The dread Ben had felt earlier loomed over him once again. He swallowed. “Who am I speaking to?”

“This is Abraham Snoke,” the voice on the other end said, and Ben had a distinct feeling that the man was smiling, “and I wish to take custody of my granddaughter, Reynabelle Eliza Snoke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun! So we finally get the official reveal that Abraham Snoke is (or at least claims to be) Rey's grandfather. A lot of you have already figured this out, as well as the fact that he would want custody of Rey. If he has a case...we'll see. The law doesn't quite work the same in this AU as it does in real life, since I am definitely bending and fictionalizing the law to suit the story's narrative.
> 
> Next chapters will be the start of the ENDING DRAFTS that I have outlined a month ago. So we're getting near the end. And since it's already outlined, hopefully I won't take too long to post. Honestly...I want to drag this on though. I am having too much fun writing this and interacting with you guys via the comments section that I probably won't know what to do with myself once this is over. Probably start a new fic, but it's something I have to mull over. Blossoming holds a special place in my heart now and you guys made it even more special by joining on this journey with me so I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> See you in the next chapters! Oh, and if any of you are familiar with the law, please please please suspend disbelief for the chapters that are to come. Thank you!
> 
> [Amanmalican is a fictional resort, based off Amanpulo Resort of Pamalican island in Palawan, Philippines.](https://www.aman.com/resorts/amanpulo)  
> [The plane Ben and Rey are riding First Class in is based off the First Class Cabin of Air France La Première](https://samchui.com/2016/10/15/air-france-first-class-review/#.XJXTKMszbIV)  
> Flight times and stop overs are relatively fictional, though based on travel times and stop overs from Connecticut to the Philippines (not that I'm saying they live in a fictional Connecticut, but maybe they do).


	38. SNOKE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben meets with Snoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter full of plot for you guys, and will set up what happens in the next several chapters. As you can also see, there is already a set number of chapters until we get to the end so yeah, we're getting close.
> 
> This is pretty much the part that I fear the most. This chapter will be the beginning of mentions about law. And I don’t know jack shit about the law so besides doing research as much as I can, I’m making stuff up as I go. I hope readers with backgrounds in law will forgive me as I bend the law to suit the needs of this fic. Please if you can, suspend disbelief for this poor author’s AU….
> 
> I also watched far too much of Lauren Lake's Paternity Court waaaay before I even started this fic so there are influences there for future chapters.
> 
> For purposes of plot, please check the recent tag additions.

 

  


Ben parked his Lexus in front of the La Belissima Vita, one of the fancier Italian restaurants downtown. He and Snoke had agreed over the phone to meet there for lunch, and though Ben was still suffering from jet lag, he knew he had to meet the man at the soonest possible time. Sleep would have to wait.

Pumped up on adrenaline and two shots of espresso, he exited his vehicle and walked inside the restaurant, where a maître d' asked if he had a reservation.

“Benjamin Lucas Solo. I’m supposed to meet up with Mr. Abraham Snoke here.”

The maître d' looked through his clipboard, nodded, and led Ben to a booth at the very end of the restaurant, where the lights were dimmer and there were fewer guests about.

Sitting at the booth was a pale, bald old man in a tan suit, eating what looked to be some prime sirloin on arugula salad. He looked up and Ben had to hide a shudder, not just from the grotesque scar that traversed down the side of the man’s face, but from his piercing blue eyes that seemed to penetrate to the bone.

“Ah, Mr. Solo. Please, take a seat.” He gestured for Ben to sit across him, which he did. “Forgive me, I got hungry and ordered ahead. In the meantime, please do not hesitate to place an order. It will be on me.”

“No, thank you, I’m not hungry.” Ben refused the menu a waiter was trying to hand over to him. After dismissing the waiter, he turned his attention back to Snoke. “So...you wanted to talk to me about Rey?”

“Is that her nickname, now?” Snoke drawled, chewing on a piece of meat slowly before swallowing. “It sounds like a boy’s name. I much prefer to call her Reynabelle. Reminds me so much of my dearly departed Annabelle.”

“Dearly departed?” Ben repeated, almost in disgust. “You never even attended Annabelle’s funeral and now you want custody of her daughter? After all this time?”

“My wife died a long time ago, Mr. Solo,” Snoke unexpectedly informed in a soft voice, and it made Ben’s brows arch. “I am all alone in this world. And when I bumped into you and Reynabelle in Raddus Hall several months ago and saw the resemblance...I just knew she was my Annabelle’s daughter. My granddaughter. And now I want her to live with me. My home could use some youthful energy now that my family is gone.”

If he was trying to play the sympathy card, Ben wasn’t buying it. There was something about Snoke that made his hackles rise. And he didn’t sound the least bit sincere. “If you want to have Rey in your life so bad, why not settle for visitation rights? I would be more than willing to grant you that and you would have a much better case.”

“True, but I prefer to have full custody. Besides, even though you’re her legal guardian, you did not officially adopt her,” Snoke pointed out, much to Ben’s surprise. 

“How did you know about that?” he asked suspiciously. 

“Besides the fact that her last name is still Snoke and not Solo?” Snoke smirked, scar tissue wrinkling upwards on his cheek. “It was easy enough as a benefactor of Raddus Hall to look at her records. A few calls here and there only confirmed what I already knew.”

“I’m the only parent she’s ever known,” Ben said through gritted teeth. “I helped raise her and care for her. And like you said, I am her legal guardian. You have very little case here.” 

“Our state laws are different from other states in that I as a biological grandparent do have rights over the child, in some cases over that of a legal guardian...particularly if there’s reason to believe the guardian to be...unfit.” Snoke let the last word hang in the air as he chewed leisurely. Ben couldn’t say anything, his mind going through all the possibilities. What did he mean about him being unfit to be Rey’s guardian? Did Snoke...know about him and Rey?

He shuddered at the thought but managed to brace himself as he asked, “Why do you say I am unfit after everything I have done to raise her right?”

Snoke smiled malevolently. “Let’s just say I know you to be unfit and leave it at that. Now, if we can just make arrangements to have her care transferred over to me--”

“You know I can’t just do that,” Ben said with barely disguised anger. “And how do I even know you’re really Rey’s grandfather? You look nothing like Rey...or Annabelle.”

“That’s because both of them take after my deceased wife, Rachelle.” Snoke reached into his pocket and took out a small black and white wedding photo, which he showed to Ben. Snoke was much younger in the photo, unscarred, had a full head of blonde hair, and was handsome even, and his wife did look like Annabelle and Rey. She looked much younger than Snoke though, probably couldn’t be more than 15 or 16 in the photo but Ben didn’t say anything. “If you still have doubts, I am willing to take a DNA test to prove that I am Reynabelle’s grandfather.”

“Why are you doing this?” Ben asked as Snoke returned the photo to his wallet. “Is it for the money?”

Snoke’s laugh rumbled through the booth and made the hairs on the back of Ben’s neck stand on end. “I may not be as rich as you, Mr. Solo, but money is of no importance to me. Reynabelle will still be able to live a comfortable life once she’s with me.”

Ben’s fingers clawed at his knees, his jaw clenching as he gnashed his teeth. “You know I will fight you on this. I’m not going to give her up easily.”

“I know. I expected as much.” Snoke nodded, then steepled his fingers below his crooked jaw. “So...a DNA test then?”

“Yes. But I’d like a third party involved to oversee the test,” Ben stipulated. “I don’t want any funny business.”

“That’s fine with me.” Snoke waved a hand as if to swat off an annoying fly. “And what if it’s proven that I am her grandfather? What then?”

“Like I said, I’m going to fight you on this,” Ben reiterated. “I have rights too, despite not being blood-related.”

Snoke narrowed his eyes. “Do you want to take this to court?”

“No. I’d rather do this privately.” Ben thought for a moment. “How about an arbitration?”

Arbitration. Essentially a private court that could yield faster results. Everything could still be left confidential should some damning information arise, and the decision by the chosen judge, or in this case arbitrator, would still be legally binding. Ben thought it would be the best course of action to take for their case.

“Yes. An arbitration would be the better option.” Snoke nodded slowly. “Alright. I agree. And just to show you that I am not unkind, I will give you a chance. You too must take a DNA test, in case you happen to be Reynabelle’s actual biological father. If you are, then I won’t contest custody.”

Ben felt the color drain away from his face. “I’m not Rey’s father. I have the DNA test to prove it.”

“From how long ago?”

“14 years ago. I took it right after she was born.”

Snoke was quiet for a moment before his steepled hands moved to cross over his chest. “That won’t do. Our technology has advanced. We need another, more recent test.”

“I still have the papers,” Ben said, and he hated how desperate he sounded. “DNA technology from 14 years ago is still reliable. I’m not her father.”

Snoke cocked a pale eyebrow. “It makes me wonder, Mr. Solo...why are you so adamant that you’re not Reynabelle’s biological father when it could actually give you complete, uncontested custody over her?”

Ben blanched. Snoke was right. He was being too defensive on this; tipping his hand without meaning too. With a hard swallow, he said, “Fine. If you deem it necessary, I’ll retake the test.”

“Oh, I deem it most necessary.” Snoke grinned a smile that split menacingly across his face. “Now, let’s discuss on how we go about starting the arbitration process...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So pretty much to avoid a scandal, Ben has chosen an arbitration. A private trial if you will. No jury. Just the two sides with their lawyers and a judge/arbitrator. And Snoke has agreed.
> 
> We're headed for a custody battle here folks. Things are gonna get ugly. 
> 
> Thanks everyone for tolerating my lack of knowledge when it comes to the law. I will continue to profusely apologize for it so don't be surprised if I mention it again in future chapters.
> 
> Thanks especially for reading and continuing on this journey with me. Until next update!


	39. RING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben tells Rey about the case and then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's talk of law again here, which I have bent to suit the narrative of the fic. Please forgive me for doing so. I am not a lawyer. I know some lawyers but I'll be damned if I go to them for advice on a fic :-/
> 
> This chapter turned cheesy real fast. Sometimes I feel like I embarrass myself. But I’m a romantic at heart. I can’t help it. Hopefully you readers won’t get lactose intolerance because of all the cheese.
> 
> Now, onto the fic.
> 
> Read through this only once. No beta. So forgive the mistakes please.

Ben had been distracted the last few days, Rey noticed. He claimed it was because of work, that he had a lot to catch up on, but she knew him well enough to know something was bothering him, but he wouldn’t tell her what, no matter how much she pried. The fact that he hadn’t slept with her in the days following their return also made her concerned. When she asked him about it, he only apologized and said he just needed to ward off suspicion for a little while. The servants might have caught on especially after their little holiday together, though Rey didn’t notice any changes with any of the servants’ demeanor.

She sat up from bed and looked at the clock. It was past midnight, and she was still in her room. The last few nights, she had tried sneaking into Ben’s room but he had gently rebuffed her advances, once again apologizing profusely, trying to make her understand that he had to do this for them and that they would be together soon. Well, it was the third night now, and she was getting impatient. She wanted so badly to go to him, but at the same time she didn’t think she could take another rejection, and so she simply plopped back down to bed and pulled the covers up to her neck.

About half an hour later, her eyes started to droop and the world began to swirl into a myriad of images as she fell into the strange realm between sleep and awake. The opening of her door echoed in her ear, but she didn’t stir awake, and soon, she felt fingers caress her cheek before tucking her hair behind her ear. 

Her lips curled up into a smile when she felt the fingers move to her shoulder, taking the strap of her black nightie down with it. This was a good dream, she thought, feeling the two hands turn her from her side and to her back, her bed shifting as she felt heaviness on top of her, and it was only when she felt lips against hers that her eyes fluttered open to find Ben above her.

She closed her eyes again and moaned into his mouth. He was still in his suit, she noticed, remembering that he hadn’t even changed from his work clothes during dinner earlier and had gone to his study immediately after the meal. Did that mean he had stayed in his study all night before going to her?

All the questions she had dissipated the moment she felt his lips on her breast. It didn’t matter why he had been so distant. All that mattered was that he was with her now, as he should be.

He let go of her breast with a pop before turning to the other one, pulling her nightie even further down so he could have better access until the silk garment lay bunched around her waist.

“Your breasts seem fuller,” he whispered, laving her taut nipple with his tongue.

“I know…” she whispered back, arching her body so she could press her breast further into his mouth. “I guess I’m still growing…”

“I like it…” he mumbled, pinching one nipple while nipping at the other. “Did you dress up like this for me?”

“Yes,” she nodded, closing her eyes as she ground her hips towards his, taking a deep breath when she felt him through his pants. “I’ve been hoping…”

“I know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry I kept you waiting.” He pulled back from her, and she watched through hooded eyes as he sat up and took off his jacket, discarding it to the floor.

He took off his tie and unbuttoned his white shirt next, his eyes never leaving hers as he slid it off, revealing the vast plains of his chest which seemed to glow under the warm lamplight. More rustling and shuffling followed the clinking of a belt as Ben shed the rest of his clothes until he was naked above her, his cock so hard that it almost pressed against his stomach.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he said in a low voice as he turned her on her side and raised her leg while he lined himself up. “No time for niceties. I need you.”

He was inside her before she could blink, and she squeaked in pain because she wasn’t thoroughly wet yet. He must’ve felt it because he instantly apologized and began stimulating her clit, not even moving his hips until she had grown wet and relaxed for him.

He began to move, and Rey moaned as she felt him hit just the right spots while he continued to rub her clit. This position certainly allowed him better access to her nub, and as time went on, and the thrusting continued, the only complaint she had was that he had grown unusually quiet.

With bleary eyes, she looked up at him to find him staring at her with glassy eyes. He looked like he was close to tears.

“Daddy?” she asked, placing a gentle hand where his fingers dug into her raised leg.

Ben didn’t say anything; only fucked her harder and faster, thumbing her clit relentlessly until she was panting and moaning for him over and over.

He came first this time, muffling his shouts into groans as he burst inside of her, pumping into her a few more times until he unexpectedly pulled out. She whimpered at the loss and moved her hand down to touch herself. She hadn’t cum yet.

Seeing this, Ben quickly pulled her hand away and spread her legs. “Let me.”

He went down on her, and Rey gasped, her hands shooting downwards to grip his raven hair as his tongue made circles around her clit. She felt a twinge of shame, realizing he must be tasting himself in the mess between her legs but it was drowned out all too soon by the sensations he was spreading throughout her body.

She climaxed several minutes later, muffling her screams just like he did, her nostrils flaring as she clamped her mouth shut, her whole body growing rigid with every shot of pleasure that lanced through her.

Once she fell limp on the bed, she felt him give her pussy one last long lick before trailing kisses up her body until he was kissing her on the lips. Now she too could taste both of them in her mouth--a combination of tang, salt and slight bitterness.

He continued to kiss her, the only sounds in the room the smacking of lips, the heaviness of breaths and the softness of moans. It seemed to last forever, their kissing, and she relished every single movement of his full lips, every lick of the tongue, every shared breath between their open mouths.

“I love you, Rey...only you…” he whispered with so much emotion that Rey felt her heart twinge and her body warm all over.

“And I love you. Only you Ben…” she replied with just as much ardor, cupping his face in her hands as they carried on kissing until they breathlessly parted.

Ben laid on his side and pulled Rey into his embrace. She snuggled under his chin and listened to the beating of his heart. She thought she could just hear the faintest ‘Rey, Rey...Rey, Rey...’ with every beat.

Then, once the fog of love and desire had settled, she propped herself up on an elbow so she could look at him face to face. “Ben...will you tell me now what’s been going on? You’ve been off lately…”

She watched him closely as he released a shaky breath before he sat up, body hunched, elbows over his knees. She sat up as well and put a hand on his shoulder. “Ben, you know you can tell me anything.”

“I know. I guess I was just hoping I didn’t have to, that I could shield you forever.” He was quiet for a while, before he let out another breath and turned to her, his face a mirror of despair. “A man has come forward, claiming to be your grandfather. His name is Abraham Snoke. And he wants full custody of you.”

Rey’s brows rose to her forehead. “What?”

“I don’t know if you remember him, but he said he bumped into us at Raddus Hall months ago.” Ben pointed to his cheek. “He has this scar that runs along the side of his face.”

“I...I think I do remember him.” Rey felt her shoulders slacken as she recalled. “I think I also met him at the mall, back when Rose and I were shopping for lingerie.”

“He followed you to the lingerie section?” Ben’s eyes were wide. “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“I don’t know. It didn’t seem important at the time.” Rey shrugged unsurely. Ben muttered something under his breath. “Ben?”

“He followed you to the lingerie section,” he repeated, disbelief in his tone. “I knew there was something sinister about him. Dammit, I should never have agreed to meet him without consulting Larma first.”

“Larma?” Rey echoed.

“My attorney. Larma D’Acy,” Ben clarified, then pushed the heels of his palms to his eyes before running his hands over his mussed hair. “She’s been giving me hell about meeting Snoke on my own and for agreeing to an arbitration.” When Rey continued to give him a questioning look, he sighed deeply. “There’s going to be a private trial. An arbitration to see who gets custody of you.”

That jarred Rey. Alarmed, she scooted closer to Ben, clung to his arm and asked, “We’re going to win, right? He’s not going to be able to take me away from you, is he?”

“That’s why Larma and I have been working round the clock, sweetheart.” He leaned over to kiss the top of her head. “We’re looking at all possible options. So far, the one surefire way to win this would be if DNA tests prove that I’m your biological father, in which case Snoke would not contest custody.”

“But you’re not my father,” Rey protested, then slunk back as a shred of doubt seeped into her mind. “You’re not...are you?”

“I’m not,” Ben reaffirmed, then pulled her into a sideways hug. “If I was, then you would have been born premature, which you weren’t. Snoke is questioning the old paternity tests I took though, which is why I need to take another DNA test to prove once again that I’m not your father. You’ll also need to take a DNA test to determine whether or not he is your maternal grandfather.”

“Do you think he’s my grandfather?”

“I don’t know, Rey.” Ben pressed his lips together. “He showed me a picture of his deceased wife. She looked like Annabelle. And you.”

“What if DNA tests prove that I am his granddaughter?” Rey asked, worry almost strangling her words. “What then?”

“Then, we fight,” Ben said determinedly. “He might well have rights over you, but so do I. We go to trial very soon.”

“Is there a way that we don’t have to go to trial, or arbitration or whatever?” Rey questioned. “Like...can’t I decide who takes custody of me?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you can’t.” He shook his head somberly. “While the judge, or the arbitrator may hear you out, the fact of the matter is you can only have the freedom to choose where you live once you become a legal adult at 18. I have thought about getting you emancipated, but in our state, only minors aged 16 are eligible for emancipation.” He shook his head again, his eyes full of regret as he looked at her. “I’m so sorry. I was a fool for meeting Snoke unprepared. I shouldn’t have decided to go for an arbitration so quickly. I should have delayed all this until you were 16. Maybe then I could have improved our chances. As it is, there’s no backing out of the arbitration now.”

“So...there’s really no other way that we don’t have to go to trial?”

“There are a couple of options, but I don’t want to have to go for either of those, and the other one is impossible to do at your age.”

“What are those options?”

“I could adopt you. Officially.” Ben’s jaw clenched and his throat bobbed with a swallow. “I could delay the arbitration long enough to file the adoption papers, but if I did that, it would make marrying you very complicated.”

“Marrying...me?” Rey almost sputtered, her hazel eyes wide, disbelieving of what she had just heard. “You...you want to marry me?”

“Of course I do, sweetheart. And I have. For a very long time,” Ben confirmed and sighed, almost in relief at having said what he had just said. “And that’s the other solution so Snoke couldn’t take custody. For me to marry you. But that wouldn’t be possible until you turn 18.” He angled his body towards her and took her small hands in his large ones, squeezing them gently. “I’m sorry, Rey. I know this is probably not how you imagined we’d be talking about marriage. I’d been hoping to wait until you were 18 to ask you but--”

“Oh, Ben!” Rey was unable to hide a squeal as she flung her arms around Ben’s shoulders. The oppressive atmosphere from their earlier conversations seemed to lift away, and she felt herself floating in happiness. “Of course, I’ll marry you when the time comes.”

“Really?” He seemed delighted and at the same time hesitant. “I mean, it’s still a long time away. You could still change your mind, meet someone else, someone better and--”

“Doofus!” She pulled back and slapped him playfully on the chest, grinning as she did so. “There’s no one else for me but you. And there is no one better. Only you.”

Without being prompted, she leaned over to kiss him, reassuring him without words how much she felt for him, that she would choose him over and over. Only him.

She smiled against his mouth when he cupped her head to deepen the kiss. For all their talk about weddings, they had skirted around outright claiming themselves the bride and groom. And now Ben was openly talking about marriage and them; was actually talking about where their relationship was headed in the future, and she had never felt more secure and loved than at that very moment.

Ben pulled away from the kiss first, shushing her with a gentle finger to her lips when she started to whine.

“Wait here.” He stood up from bed, put on his pants and hastened out of the room. Rey watched the door anxiously for him to return, pulling up her nightgown from her waist so she was decent again until he came back. He looked nervous, flexing his hand while the other was curled around what looked like a small box. “We can’t make this official yet until you turn 18, but I really want you to have this.” He walked closer to her, got down on one knee and opened the box to reveal reveal a beautiful ring with a simple gold band and a cluster of small diamonds that formed into the shape of a flower. She had seen this ring before--in the family painting of the Solos in the living room. Leia Organa-Solo wore this ring. “This was my mother’s engagement ring. My father sold his favorite motorcycle just so he could buy her this and help pay for their wedding. This ring symbolized the start of their new life together, and for us, I want it to represent my promise. My promise that we will get past this and that we too will one day start anew together...if you’ll have me.”

 

“I will.” Rey had to fight to keep her voice steady, tears already prickling at the corners of her eyes. “I’ll have you, Ben Solo.”

Ben flashed her a wide smile. He looked like he was about to cry too as he took the ring out of the box, took her left hand in his and slipped the jewelry into her ring finger. It was a little big, hanging a little loose around her digit and he mumbled so.

“Don’t worry, Ben. I’ll grow into it,” she assured, holding her hand up so she could admire the way the diamonds sparkled in the lamplight. Then, she grew somber at a thought. “Did you...ever give this to Mother?”

“No.” He smiled wryly as he rose and sat beside her on the bed, taking her ringed hand in his and nudging the band with his thumb. “By the time I told her I was going to marry her, she had apparently already picked out a ring for herself. If there’s one thing I would say about your mother, it’s that she plans ahead.” His lips dipped down into a frown. “Would you like that though? Be able to pick out your own engagement ring?”

“No,” she shook her head vehemently, the word ‘engagement’ still ringing pleasantly in her ears. “This ring is special and perfect. Thank you, Ben.”

“Anything for you, my love.” He gathered her into his arms and kissed her again, their lips melding into one another and soon, their tongues danced as it always did with these deep kisses, and Rey felt herself melt in Ben’s strong embrace as he laid her down on the bed, his body sliding against hers once more, her eyes flying open when she realized he was getting hard again. “B-Ben…”

“I need you,” he breathed hotly, almost desperately as he shimmied out of his pants again and pulled up her nightgown to expose him to her. She was still wet from their earlier lovemaking so he was able to glide in with little resistance, sighing as he hit home. “You’re perfect, baby. So fucking perfect for Daddy.”

Rey moaned as Ben took charge, holding her legs by the ankles up in a ‘V’ position while he sat on his knees and plowed into her. He was no longer silent this time, more confident now as he urged her to be a good girl for Daddy and touch herself.

“Daddy wants to…” he pumped, “...see you…” a thrust, “pleasure yourself.” Another hard pump, and Rey reached down so she could finger the bundle of nerves between her folds, feeling herself clench around his girth as her other hand moved to squeeze her breast. “Yes, that’s it. Good girl. You’re my good girl.” He slammed into her, deeper and faster this time while she in turn rubbed and squeezed herself with abandon, their moans and their coupling filling the dimly lit room.

“You’re such a good little girl...taking Daddy’s cock so well while touching yourself…” There was a steady rhythm now, the bed creaking softly with every thrust Ben made, and Rey threw her head back in a moan when he hit a particular spot just as she touched herself the right way. “That’s it, baby girl. That’s it. You’re mine.”

“Yours, Daddy, only yours,” she moaned and whimpered as he pumped in faster, and she quickened her pace over her clit, tugging at her nipple almost painfully with the other hand.

“And I’m yours, Rey,” he said back hoarsely, bouncing her on the bed with his ever quickening and deepening thrusts. “Only yours...forever yours…”

“I’m yours forever Ben!” Rey cried out, just as her orgasm slammed into her like a freight train, and she shattered into pieces around him before she quickly felt whole again.

“Forever...forever...for…” A shout cut through Ben’s words as he once again spilled himself within her warmth, hips jerking and body growing stiff until he let go of her ankles and collapsed on top of her, their heavy breaths in sync, warm bodies heaving.

It was a while before he finally lifted himself away, and Rey allowed herself to be encircled in his arms as he laid beside her and pulled her into his embrace. She snuggled beneath his chin, feeling safe, secure and most importantly, loved.

“Forever...mine…” he murmured as he sleepily kissed her forehead.

“Yours forever…” Rey murmured back, and soon, she drifted off to sleep, leaving their worries for another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chekhov's gun. That's what my husband Masayuki said. I showed you the gun (them talking about weddings) and now have fired the gun (now they're essentially engaged). God, it's cheesy, I know, but the ring will be highly important in future chapters, which was why I wrote this extra chapter in (yes, this is an extra chapter. We're supposed to only be at 48 chapters and now we're at a total of 49).
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the bit of fluff and smut. Best to enjoy it because there will be a drought in future chapters, though for the next chapter (which is already written yey) there will still be a bit to quench the thirsts, and perhaps the chapter after that. But we'll see.
> 
> Thanks again dear readers for sticking with this fic. We're at the home stretch now, and since the next chapter's already written, then it won't take me too long to post it.
> 
> Until next time!
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> **  
> [By the way, "Blossoming" has been nominated for the Reylo Fic Recs Awards 2019! More info here](https://secretreylo.tumblr.com/post/183696889372/blossoming-has-been-nominated)  
> 


	40. TESTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey have their DNA samples collected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was already sleeping when my sister woke me up. And now I'm about to head to bed again, but before I do, I've decided I'm gonna be posting this next chapter early. Lots of plot and then just a bit of ;)
> 
> Wasn't supposed to post this until tomorrow, when things have maybe died down a little after the whole Ep IX poster leak 0_0 but you know...life must go on, leak or no leak.
> 
> We've hit the big 4-0. Chapter 40 now, only 9 chapters left to go.

Ben drove downtown with Rey towards the DNA testing facility assigned by their arbitrator to take the necessary test samples. He had only gone home from work to pick Rey up before heading to the city again. He could have gotten Artoo to drive Rey, he supposed, while he waited at the testing facility but he would much rather not have any of the servants involved in this.

He sighed when he encountered traffic. This would have been much easier if they had just been allowed to take a home DNA test kit, but legal paternity tests required the samples be collected by either a nurse or a doctor, and must be done in an accredited DNA testing facility.  

While waiting for the stop light to turn green, he chanced a glance at Rey, who was staring out the window while her other hand fiddled with the engagement ring on her finger. He hadn’t seen her take it off ever since he essentially proposed a couple of nights ago, and it was a small enough piece of jewelry that it flew under the noses of the servants. Not like they knew about the ring’s significance. The only one who knew of the ring and its story was Maz Kanata, and she was long gone from their lives.

Red light going green, Ben started the car again, weaving through streets until he finally got to the testing facility, parking his Lexus in the space designated for clients. He and Rey then took off their seatbelts before exiting the car and walking hand in hand towards the small white building.

Once inside, Ben handled things with the receptionist before he and Rey were sent to the waiting room. There were a few other clients there--an elderly couple, a family with a little boy, and a nervous-looking pregnant woman. None of the clients acknowledged each other, choosing to busy themselves with their magazines and gadgets, which left Ben at ease about still holding Rey’s hand. Part of him was still nervous about the results coming out with him as her possible biological father, and he had to remind himself that he had double-checked the DNA test results from 14 years prior, and that Rey had been born at 9 months and 1 week--7 whole months after he had first slept with Annabelle, which meant his then wife had indeed been pregnant before they had even met.

It took a while for their names to be called, and by then they were the only clients left in the waiting room. A female nurse guided them to the collection room, where she collected samples from the insides of Ben’s cheeks with a cheek swab before putting it away in a vial.

It was Rey’s turn next, and the nurse had her sit in a chair while she prepared something. When Ben saw that it was a syringe, he balked. “What are you doing?”

“Going to take a blood draw,” the nurse answered, still preparing the syringe.

“But I thought the test only called for a cheek swab,” Ben protested. He remembered when they had collected samples from Rey when she was a day old. The nurses had done a cheek swab then too.

The nurse set the syringe aside and grabbed a nearby clipboard, staring at it. “Nope. The request is definitely for a blood draw from the child.”

“Don’t you think that’s rather unusual?” he questioned.

The nurse only shrugged. “Not the first time I’ve encountered such a request.”

“It’s okay, Ben.” Rey reached out from where she was seated to put a gentle hand on his arm. “I’m used to needles.”

Ben looked at her and bit her lip. She was right of course. Growing up sickly, she had been subjected to needle after needle throughout the course of her life, and it was then that he realized that other than her recent bouts with fatigue and her motion sickness in the plane ride to the Philippines, Rey hadn’t been majorly unwell for a very long time. The fatigue can well be explained by their constant lovemaking, and he blushed at the thought.

Stepping aside for the nurse, Ben held Rey’s left hand, his thumb nudging at her ring as he watched the nurse prepare Rey’s right arm before plunging the syringe to the vein at the back of her elbow. Rey didn’t even flinch, and Ben felt a swell of pride in his chest.

Once the blood sample had been collected and Rey patched up, Ben helped her off the chair and handled some last minute paperwork with the receptionist. Once done, he asked the lady, “How soon can we get the results?”

“In a week,” the receptionist answered. “But it will go directly to the entities that requested it.”

That meant it would go directly to the arbitrator, Ben thought, feeling a bit relieved at that. At least Snoke wouldn’t be able to tamper with the results. The old man probably couldn’t, but Ben had a feeling he might try something.

Taking Rey’s hand again, he exited the building with her and helped her into the Lexus, fastening her seatbelt for her before heading to the driver’s seat.

There was still one more place he had to go.

Pulling the car away from the parking space, he made his way further into the city until they reached the vast expanse of the city park. Rey looked excitedly outside at all the people riding bikes, the couples jogging and the children playing as Ben made his way to the parking lot.

“I’ve never taken you to the park, have I?” Ben asked, almost sadly as he found a space for the Lexus and helped Rey off her seatbelt before taking off his. He then grabbed the manila envelope he had left on the dashboard, tucking it under one arm. 

“Not until now,” Rey gushed as they both got out of the vehicle at the same time. “There’s so many trees and trails and...is that a lake?”

“A manmade lake, yes.” With his hand at the small of her back, Ben led her further into the park, afternoon sunlight pouring through the leaves of trees as a cool breeze swept through the foliage. “We can buy some feed over there and feed the ducks. Or pigeons, whichever you like.”

Rey looked from the edge of the lake to the benches near the path, where other people were also feeding pigeons. “Pigeons.”

“Okay.” Ben took out some money and handed it to her, pointing to a small booth. “You go buy some and start feeding the birds. I need to go meet someone first.”

Rey looked up at him worriedly. “Who are you meeting?”

“Just someone who can help us with the case.” He wanted to kiss her to reassure her, but this was such a public place, he would have to settle for patting the top of her head. “I won’t be far, sweetheart. But I do need some privacy. Just sit over there and I’ll be over there.” He pointed to a distant empty bench by the lake. Rey nodded unsurely, but trusted him enough to go her way. He watched her for a while, waiting until she was seated on a bench and feeding the pigeons before he made his way to the bench by the edge of the lake.

He took out his phone and fired a text message, then stared out into the water, waiting. It didn’t take long for a man in a dark trench coat with its collars upturned to slip beside him on the bench, a paper bag of feed in his hand as he threw grains to the lake for the ducks to feast on.

“Been a while since you last called me,” the man said in a gruff voice. Neither the man nor Ben looked at each other as he spoke. “Last case I worked on for you was about the Damerons, was it?”

“Yes, DJ,” Ben said, using the man’s alias. He never did go by his real name. “And obviously, I’ve got another case for you.” He slid the manila envelope towards DJ, who promptly took it and viewed the contents. “That’s all I could find out about Abraham Snoke. But I need more...damning information about him.”

“The man’s an investor,” DJ observed after a quick read through of the papers before slipping them back inside the envelope. “Want me to find out if he’s involved in any illegal activity?”

“That and more. Better if it’s something about his private life,” Ben said, still not looking at DJ, his eyes instead on Rey, who was still feeding pigeons in the distance. “I want any dirt you can find on him. Anything. And I will need the information at the soonest possible time.”

“How soon?”

“A week maybe.”

DJ was quiet for a while. “That’s quite a short time frame. I’m going to need a little extra.”

Ben anticipated this, and readily took out a thick envelope from the jacket of his suit and slipped it over to DJ. The man took the envelope and whistled at its contents.

“Give me 3 days,” he said said, stuffing the thick envelope as well as the manila envelope into his trench coat before emptying the paper bag of feed into the lake, the ducks happily quacking at the generous gift. With a curt nod, the man walked away, and Ben waited a little while before walking away himself and striding towards Rey.

“Having fun, sweetheart?” he asked when he reached her side, and she looked up at him with light in her eyes.

“Yes. I even got a few of the pigeons to sit on my hand,” she said excitedly before she stood up and dusted her sweater and skirt off of crumbs. “Are we going home now?”

“Not yet.” He beamed as he placed his hand on her back, guiding her towards the rental bike racks. “Come. Let’s get on those bikes and explore the park for a little while. Call this an impromptu date.”

“A date,” Rey repeated, beaming back at him. “I like that.”

* * *

He could feel her engagement ring against his fingers as he entwined his hands with her hands. His forehead pressed against her forehead while his hips snapped into her hips, the bed protesting with his every thrust.

They were back in Rey’s room again, making love. It would only be the third time they did it here since he had given her that ring. He never did find it comfortable to be surrounded by her Victorian dolls and stuffed animals, but with the dim light of the night stand lamp, everything was easier. All he had to do as well was to concentrate on her and not on their surroundings. Certainly, they could have done it in his room, like they did most nights, but Rey hadn’t gone to him that night and so he had to be the one to sneak in, finding that she had apparently fallen asleep while reading a book. He had woken her up with kisses then, stimulating her until her body came alive and she eagerly accepted him into her warmth.

He tightened his grip on her hands, the ring digging into the flesh of his finger as he sped up, whispering endearments to her while she bounced beneath him. They climaxed simultaneously, her fluttering around his length, him gushing inside of her as they restrained their moans of ecstasy, still mindful of everyone else in the house despite the late hour, despite their distance from the servants’ wing.

Panting, Ben pulled out and cuddled her, running his fingers up and down her spine while constantly whispering how much he loved her. She hummed in contentment, and before long, fell asleep. She had been so exhausted lately, he noticed.

He settled himself under the covers with her, intent on sleeping beside her all night but he would have to set an alarm first, just to make sure he got up and left before any of the servants found him naked in his stepdaughter’s bed.

He grabbed his phone, which he had taken with him from the nightstand and started to set the alarm when he received a message.

> **_DJ_ **
> 
> _ Got dirt. Check e-mail. _

Ben’s eyes widened. It had only been two days since that meeting in the park. DJ sure worked fast when the wheels were greased, he thought.

Tapping his e-mail app, he quickly found DJ’s message at the top of his inbox. He tapped the message and read through everything including the attachments, his eyes maddeningly wide and his throat unbearably dry after he was done.

DJ didn’t just find dirt. This was a bombshell. One that could very well win them the case, and he quickly composed an e-mail along with DJ’s attachments and sent it to his attorney, Larma D'Acy.

He wouldn’t be able to sleep much that night, feeling himself brim with excitement at the possibility of winning, but at the same time feeling depressed at what he had found out. And for the next hour, his mind would wander off to thoughts of Annabelle Elizabeth Snoke-Solo, who was now nothing more than brittle bones under six feet of earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when Ben said he had someone look into the Damerons? Yes, that was DJ.
> 
> A lot of you pretty much have the same speculations (which I enjoy reading by the way). So now Ben's found some dirt on Snoke. Would it be enough to take him down? We shall see. Next chapter will have more law talk, but the arbitration won't happen yet until the chapter after that, so we'll still get a reprieve the next chapter before we buckle down and get to business.
> 
> Thank you as always dear reader for continuing to follow this fic! I hope you continue to enjoy reading as much as much as I enjoy writing, and that you also have fun interacting in the comments section. Until later!
> 
>  
> 
> [Also, a reader of Blossoming who wishes to remain anonymous has gifted the fic with this lovely piece of art. Check it out here.](https://secretreylo.tumblr.com/post/183747871807/blossoming-feelings-by-anonymous-an-artist-and)


	41. SECRETS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben talks to his attorney about the arbitration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief update for you guys. Some plot and smut. Probably the last smut we'll have in a long time. Hope you guys like this chapter.

“I really wish you had paid all of the arbitration fees and not just half,” D'Acy, Ben’s attorney, lamented over the phone. It had been a day since he forwarded the e-mail from DJ, and the arbitration was all they could discuss. “As underhanded as it sounds, we would have a better chance of the arbitrator ruling in our favor if we were the ones paying for the proceedings.”

“Yes, but Snoke and I agreed to split the fees,” Ben said, not without a hint of regret. “He didn’t want there to be any funny business on either side.”

D'Acy muttered under her breath. Ben thought for sure he had heard his lawyer curse. Not that it wasn’t like her. He had known her for years. She was a good friend of his mother, and it didn’t hurt that she had a background in family law besides estate planning. “I’m sorry, Benjamin, but I really wish you had consulted me first before you even met with him and started this whole arbitration process. What’s the name of the arbitrator you both chose again?”

“Mace Windu,” Ben informed. 

D'Acy hummed her approval. “Mace Windu. I know of him. Retired judge. He’s a little rough around the edges but he’s fair and has a lot of experience with family law cases. I suppose he’s a good choice.”

Well, at least D'Acy approved of that, Ben thought. Lord knew she had been disapproving of most everything else he had done for the case, except maybe that one bit with DJ.

“What are our chances, though?” he asked. “Of winning, now that we’ve got this new information on Snoke?”

“I’d say we have a pretty good shot,” D'Acy affirmed, “even better now that there’s an actual witness willing to testify. Only way we wouldn’t win is if he could prove to the arbitrator that you’re unfit to be Reynabelle’s guardian, which I doubt they’ll be able to do.”

Ben clamped his mouth shut, suddenly remembering what Snoke had said during their first meeting at the restaurant.

_ “Let’s just say I know you to be unfit and leave it at that.” _

“Benjamin? Is there something that Snoke and his party could use against us?”

“No,” he was quick to say. He had the uneasy feeling that Snoke did know something but he couldn’t very well tell D'Acy that. “Larma...does Rey have to be at the arbitration? Because I don’t want her to be there if at all possible.”

“Unfortunately, she has to be,” D'Acy insisted. “Her testimony and wishes to stay with you is vital to us winning this case. The arbitrator will hear her out.”

“Yes, but that info on Snoke might be too much for her to handle,” Ben pointed out. “I don’t want to subject her to that.”

“She can leave after her testimony and questioning ends,” D'Acy suggested. “I won’t be bringing in our new witness until after her anyway. Although if I were you, I’d make her stay. She will have to be faced with the truth sooner or later.”

“Should I tell her about it? About what we found out?” he asked, and the silence that followed made him think D'Acy was shaking her head.

“No. We can’t color her answers during the arbitration. The best you can do is to tell her to stay strong and that you’ll be there for her...if you decide to let her stay throughout the proceeding.”

“Okay.” Ben nodded, and after discussing some last minute details with D'Acy, he ended the call.

He slumped back in his office chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. His black silk robe lay open now, exposing his chest to the chilly air. He should be sleeping, he thought. Should be with his Rey, yet here he was, late at night and still in his study, still desperate to find ways to ensure that they would win despite his attorney’s assurances that they had a good chance of success.

Once again the thought of marriage crossed his mind. It was futile, he knew, for that to be the solution to his current predicament. Either way, he didn’t want this custody battle to be the reason Rey married him. He wanted her to marry him because she really wanted to, and soon, his mind wandered off to happier thoughts--of how he would propose to her again in three and a half years, properly this time, and how they would get married outside of the country to avoid the scandal...perhaps even move to a different country altogether. Really start anew. Maybe even start a family of their own. That last thought warmed him to the point of stirring something inside of him, and he just knew he had to get back to her right this instant.

He started to stand when knocks echoed from the door to his study.

“Ben?”

“Come in, Rey,” he called, his heart thumping as it always did when he saw her, peeking in from the door. She was in a long, white cotton nightgown with short puffy sleeves that made her look like the princess she was, her brown hair cascading down her shoulders.

“You weren’t in your room,” she said as she approached his desk, “so I thought you might still be here. Did I interrupt anything?”

“No, sweetheart.” He sat back in his office chair and opened his arms--an invitation for Rey to fall into them. She walked around his desk and sat sideways on his lap, her arms around his neck as she kissed him chastely.

“Come back to bed,” she mumbled into his lips, and there was something so domestic in that statement that it made his heart skip a beat.

“I will.” He kissed her back before pulling away to look deep into her eyes. “But before that, there’s something I need to tell you. About the arbitration.”

Rey nodded quietly, her face turning serious, and he let out a deep breath.

“There’s a possibility that you might be questioned about us,” he said, thinking back to what Snoke had mentioned about him being unfit. “I know I’m not supposed to coach you, and that you probably don’t need to be told this, but under no circumstances can you speak about the true nature our relationship. I would hate to ask you to lie, but circumstances call for it. As far as the world is concerned, you and I are stepfather and stepdaughter. Nothing more.”

Rey nodded again.

“One more thing.” He shifted her weight over him so she was in a more comfortable position, his hands on her shoulder and over her knee. “This arbitration...it’s going to get ugly. So once your testimony is over, I think it would be best for you to leave the room.”

This time, Rey shook her head. “No. I want to see this through with you.”

“Rey…”

“I can handle it,” she insisted. “Whatever it is, I can handle it.  _ We _ can handle it so long as we’re together.”

“I know, but there’s going to be some...very disturbing information that’s going to come out,” he cautioned, doing his best to be careful with his words. “I don’t want to expose you to that.”

“I know you’re only trying to protect me, Ben, but you can’t shield me forever.” Rey ran her fingers through the side of his scalp, and he stifled a moan. “Besides, you’re going to need all the emotional support you can get. Let me be there for you just as you have always been there for me.”

Ben couldn’t say anything. Not for a long while, and he simply stared into Rey’s eyes, wondering where the little girl had gone and where this brave young woman had sprung from.

“Okay, Rey. Okay.” He said after a time and pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes closed. “Just promise me that whatever happens, whatever you may hear, that you have to be strong, and know that I’ll be here for you. Always.”

He waited for her to nod again, and when she did, he angled his head so he could kiss her, their lips melting into one another until the kiss further deepened with a tentative dance of tongue on tongue. Ben stirred as they carried on kissing, and soon, he felt himself strain against his pajama pants.

“Lock the door,” he rasped after he managed to pull himself away from Rey, and she eagerly got off of him and hurried to the door, the sound of the lock echoing through the dimly lit room. 

This would be their first time in his study, his eyes just as bright with desire as hers was.

She hastened back to his lap, kissing him while her hand moved inside his pajama pants, a gentle fist moving up and down his rigid length. He groaned in her mouth, and slipped one hand beneath her nightgown, humming in surprise and delight to find her sans underwear, her folds already hot and slippery with her juices.

“No panties…” he murmured into her lips. “You anticipating this, baby girl?”

“Unnff...yes...yes, Daddy...” She rolled her hips over his invading fingers, her own fingers busying themselves with his throbbing shaft, tracing the protruding veins and squeezing from base to tip. They continued to kiss, stimulate, and caress each other, until Ben could feel his balls tighten and the pressure building.

He stopped her ministrations before he could orgasm, but he carried on plunging a couple of fingers into her, using the meat of his palm to grind against her clit a he did so. After a few moments, he shifted, rearranged her on his lap so she had her back against his chest, her legs spread and straddling his thighs, his fingers and palm penetrating and rubbing her, his other hand moving to cup and squeeze her breast.

He licked a wet stripe along her neck before settling his tongue at the shell of her ear, all the while never relenting in his attentions towards her pussy and breast, his cock straining between their bodies, grinding against the cleft of her ass. He was already filled to bursting but he managed to hold himself back, wanting more than anything for her to cum first.

A few more strokes to her clit, a few more penetrations from his fingers, and she threw her head back against his shoulder and wailed, her walls pulsating around his digits and her small body jerking against him until she settled down. He planted a long, wet kiss on her neck before lifting her a little so he could move his cock in front of them, spreading her legs further apart as he guided himself into her, hissing when her pussy clamped down on him like a vise.

“Still tight as ever…” he grunted and leaned back on the chair, his hands on her waist as he lifted her up and pulled her down towards him, all the while jerking his hips upwards to meet her, encouraging her until she was bouncing on her own on his cock, his name on her lips with her every rise and her every fall. How he wished they had a mirror in front of them right now, so they could both actually see themselves connected to each other, but he would settle for snaking his hand around her and strumming her clit with his fingers while she drove her pelvis down to his hips.

He leaned over to kiss the side of her neck, eventually making it to her lips when she arched her back and angled her head towards him and he to her. This was more than just for love. More than just for desire. This was for comfort. For reassurance that for the moment, they were still together, that no one could take this moment away from them; that no one and nothing could take them away from each other.

He stopped kissing her, and stood from his chair while still buried within her, maneuvering them both until he had her bent over his desk, pounding into her from behind in deep, fast strokes. She whined and whimpered as he draped his large body over her, needing her warmth, the feel of her beneath him, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled the scent of her hair.

He dipped his hand between her legs and stroked her clit again, all the while slamming ever faster in and out of her, groaning as the contours of her inner walls caressed every inch of him until he was no longer able to hold back the floodgates of pleasure. 

One more thrust and he spilled forth within her with a loud gasp, his trembling hand moving harder and faster around her clit until he coaxed another orgasm out of her, her muscles spasming all around him, draining him of every last drop of cum he had to offer.

“I love you…” he said hoarsely once it was over, kissing the side of her face and neck. “Never forget that, Rey.”

“Never, Ben...” she replied, and he was certain she wouldn’t, for he had every intention of reminding her every day for as long as they were together, for as long as there was still breath left in his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last of the smut train before we go to tensionville. Next chapter will be the start of the arbitration. I haven't finished writing it yet. I'm only two paragraphs in and I'm suffering from a bit of writer's burn out so while this chapter was posted early (due to the fact that I've finished writing it for days), the other one might take a while as I honestly need a bit of break.
> 
> Thanks as always dear readers for continuing on this journey with me. I promise we'll get to more plot meat starting next chapter, which is tentatively titled QUESTIONING.
> 
> Meantime, enjoy these two lovely Blossoming artworks from two lovely artists, anonymous and emo bubbles (respectively)
> 
> <https://secretreylo.tumblr.com/post/183747871807/blossoming-feelings-by-anonymous-an-artist-and>
> 
> <https://secretreylo.tumblr.com/post/183773296107/blossoming-art-by-emobubbles-blossoming-got>


	42. QUESTIONING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The arbitration begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is no April Fool's joke. I'm actually updating.
> 
> Okay, so I didn't take too long with my writer's break. I got bored while taking the break and started writing and now I'm two chapters ahead. And with that, a new plot came out and so I added an extra chapter. So now we're at 50 chapters in total, so we still have 8 to go from here.
> 
> The arbitration begins now. Please please please suspend your disbelief for the next few chapters. Some of the lawyer questions may be leading, which of course isn't really acceptable in court, but I'd like to think that since this is an informal setting that is an arbitration, that the attorneys can freely ask what they will. Just you know...let's pretend I know law LOL otherwise, I did do my best in researching, and I mostly cherry-picked what I found useful for the plot. Hope you enjoy!

The day of the arbitration had finally arrived. Rey nervously looked around the white walls of the conference room in the arbitrator’s office building, which had been rearranged to mock a courtroom setting. In front of the room was the currently empty desk for the arbitrator, and a smaller desk beside it, most likely for the witnesses. In the middle of the room was a long conference table with chairs on either side—one side for Ben’s party, the other for Snoke’s. At one corner of the room was another small desk for the court reporter.

Currently, only she, Ben and his lawyer, Larma D’Acy were present in the room along with the court reporter and a well-built man in what appeared to be a guard’s uniform (Ben would later tell her that that was the bailiff). Snoke’s party, as well as the arbitrator were yet to come in, though it wasn’t entirely unexpected, being that they had arrived fifteen minutes ahead of schedule.

Rey bounced her leg and stared at the clock, wringing her hands on her lap. Only ten minutes left before the arbitration started. D’Acy had told her ahead of time that she will be called in to questioning first, and though the lawyer told her to relax and that she will do just fine, she couldn’t help but be nervous. What if she couldn’t answer a question? Or worse, slip up and unwittingly reveal her relationship with Ben?

She felt a large hand over hers under the table, and she turned to see Ben, smiling softly at her. This more than anything soothed her, and she smiled back, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

He let her go and turned to chat with his lawyer, while Rey fiddled with her engagement ring. It was the only piece of jewelry she wore. As a matter of fact, it was the only piece of jewelry she had ever worn her entire life, and one that she refused to take off. Not that anyone noticed it. Even D’Acy hadn’t noticed it when she came to the house the previous day to go over some last minute details with them and to lecture them on what to wear for the arbitration. 

Rey smoothed out her skirt. She had on a red, long-sleeved dress with a white lace collar, knee-high white socks and closed black shoes while Ben wore one of his nicer black business suits with a red tie, most likely to match her dress. They both had their hair combed back away from their faces, and though D’Acy suggested she wear her long hair in a ponytail or bun, she decided on wearing a white headband instead. She always did prefer her hair loose, and so did Ben.

Five more minutes into waiting, and the door to the conference room opened to reveal a stocky man with a seemingly permanent frown, his gray hair oiled back to his head. The man stepped in and held the door open for the tall, scarred old man Rey had bumped into only twice—once in Raddus Hall, the next at the mall. The old man—Abraham Snoke—instantly zeroed in on her, his blue eyes almost piercing right through her, a slight but menacing smile on his lips as he nodded to her before making his way to the other side of the conference table and sitting down with the stocky gentleman, who was most likely his attorney.

Rey squirmed in her seat when Snoke wouldn’t stop staring at her, and she glanced up at Ben, whose features had hardened to stone. He had clearly noticed Snoke staring too, and glared daggers at him until the old man noticed and finally looked away to talk to his attorney.

Not long after, the door opened once more, and the bailiff called for them all to rise and welcome the arbitrator, Mace Windu.

Mace Windu was tall—almost as tall as Ben—bald, with dark skin and a constant scowl on his face. Like the rest of the men in the room save for the bailiff, he wore a nice suit with barely any creases, his shoes shined almost to sparkling. In his arms he carried a few plastic folders, which he quickly put on his desk before he told everyone to take their seats just as he did.

Rey listened as Windu introduced himself, his background as a family law attorney and retired judge, as well as stating his duties as an arbitrator of the case, which was essentially to act as the judge, jury and appellate court, able to issue final decisions that was binding to both parties. Then, looking at the files in one of his plastic folders, he stated the facts of the case, being a custody case involving Reynabelle Eliza Snoke, who the claimant was, in this case Abraham Snoke, and who the respondent was, in this case Benjamin Lucas Solo. He also stated some general house rules as well as schedules for breaks. Once he was done, Windu called for the attorneys to make their opening statements.

D’Acy started first, smoothing out the crease of her pants suit before eloquently expounding how Ben had taken on the duties of fatherhood towards Rey ever since the death of his wife, and how he more than anyone deserved to be her caretaker. Snoke’s attorney, Moden Canady, followed by painting Snoke as a lonely old man who was just trying to bring back the last remnants of his family, and that by the end of the day, Canady would prove that Snoke was the better choice to be Rey’s caretaker.

Once the opening statements were done, D’Acy called for Rey to testify. She swallowed hard and looked to Ben for encouragement. He nodded and reached out to discreetly squeeze her left hand, making sure to caress her engagement ring while he was at it. She took it as his way to remind her of his promise that they would get past this. She smiled before she gently took her hand away and slowly made her way to the desk beside the arbitrator’s and sat down.

After Windu swore her under oath to tell the truth, D’Acy began the questioning. “State your name, age and occupation, please.”

“Reynabelle Eliza Snoke. Age fourteen. Student. Homeschooled.” Rey added that last part in a hurry, intent on stating as much of the truth as possible, knowing that she would have to lie for the rest. She could only hope that she wouldn’t get caught.

D’Acy followed up with questions about Rey’s home life—how and what her living arrangements were like, how her home was like, her schooling, and she answered it all, realizing that her comforts, her upbringing, her medical care...all of it painted Ben in a good light. 

“How’s your relationship with your stepfather?” D’Acy asked.

“We have a close relationship, Ma’am.” That wasn’t entirely untrue, though she certainly had to downplay how close they were.

“What are the things you like about him?”

“I like that he takes care of me,” she answered honestly. “He always looks after my well-being, makes sure I eat well and that I’m healthy. He also takes time off his busy schedule for me.” There were a lot more things she liked about Ben, like the way he made her laugh, made her smile, made her happy, made her feel loved, but she couldn’t say that out loud.

D’Acy smiled at her. She was doing well. 

“Do you want to stay with Mr. Solo?”

“Yes, I do.”

“And do you love Mr. Solo?”

At this, Rey looked at Ben, and let out the softest smile. “Very much.”

She saw Ben smile back, and she quickly turned back to D’Acy, hoping no one else noticed the way they looked at each other.

“What about your probable grandfather? Abraham Snoke?” D’Acy pursued. “How do you feel about him?”

“I don’t know him, Ma’am,” Rey said, her voice now somber. “I suppose I feel towards him the way I would a stranger.”

“What if the DNA tests prove that you are his biological granddaughter?” D’Acy questioned. “Would you wish to go to him then?”

Rey shook her head. “No. He’s still a stranger.”

D’Acy nodded, and after indicating that she had no more questions, took her seat beside Ben. Rey took a deep breath as the other attorney, Moden Canady, stood up, adjusting a button of his suit. It would be his turn to ask questions now.

“Reynabelle, is it?” the man asked with what she deemed to be feigned kindness as he approached her. “May I call you Rey?”

“I would prefer not, sir,” Rey said defiantly, which seemed to take the old attorney aback. 

“Okay, Ms. Snoke.” He cleared his throat, and the warmth left his voice with his next words. “How close are you to your stepfather?” 

“We’re very close sir.” 

Canady narrowed his eyes. “How close?”

Rey faked nonchalance as she shrugged. “As close as a stepfather and stepdaughter can be, I guess.”

“Have you always been very close to him?” he continued.

“Not always,” Rey admitted, and bit her tongue after she had said it. It was the truth, but she wasn’t sure whether or not she should have revealed that, and she was suddenly reminded of the one therapy session they had when Dr. Ackbar asked her something similar, and she had responded in much the same way.

“Not always?” Canady repeated. “When did you start to become close?”

Now Rey started to panic a little, but she managed to keep her nerves in check as she mentally counted the dates and said, “A little over half a year ago, I suppose.”

“And before that? How was your relationship with him before that?”

“He was emotionally distant, but he was still there for me.” Rey made sure to stress that last part. “He made sure I was well cared for and visited me on my sick days. We shared meals together over the years and still do.”

“So, what changed between you two?” Canady queried. “What made you as close as you are now?”

Rey shrugged again, doing her best to appear relaxed. “Just the little things. It started when we began opening communication lines. Texting. Then we got to talking and spending more time together.”

Canady raised a bushy brow at her. “What do you do when you spend time together?”

Rey felt a shiver run down her spine as all the memories of the time she spent with Ben—all the kissing, touching, the lovemaking—came rushing forth, and she felt her face grow hot. She hoped to God her blush wasn’t so obvious, and she did her best to steer her thoughts to the other things she and Ben did together. “We talk a lot. Play and listen to music. We share the same tastes in music. We also play board games. We read books together. Sometimes we go out. Eat out. Go shopping. Only recently,we...went to the park together.” She had almost blurted out how they had gone off on a tropical island getaway together. That could’ve opened a whole can of worms if she had revealed that. 

“So...you do things together...almost like a couple then?” Canady suggested, and Rey felt the blood that had rushed to her face drain away.

“No,” she said quickly. “Like father and daughter.”

“Father and daughter...” Canady stalked around her desk, hands behind his back as he walked. “Ms. Snoke...has there ever been a time when your stepfather overstepped his bounds as a father?”

Rey felt her eyelids twitch. “I don’t know what you mean sir.” 

Canady clarified, “Has there ever been a time when your stepfather acted inappropriately towards you?”

“Objection, Mr. Arbitrator,” D’Acy called from where she was seated. “I don’t see where this line of questioning is headed and how it pertains to the case.”

Canady turned to Windu and said, “Mr. Arbitrator, I am simply trying to establish the nature of the relationship between stepfather and stepdaughter to ensure that nothing inappropriate has been going on between them.”

Windu cocked an eyebrow, his forehead creasing. “Do you have evidence to support this assertion, Atty. Canady?” 

“Yes, sir.” Canady puffed up his chest—a man clearly confident. “As a matter of fact, we have a witness who will testify later in regards to the close, if not intimate relationship between Mr. Solo and Ms. Snoke.”

A witness? Rey’s heart began to pound. That didn’t sound good at all, and when she glanced up at Ben, she saw the same worry reflected in his face.

“I’ll allow it,” Windu approved, making Rey’s heart pound wildly in her chest as Canady once again, approached her desk. 

“Ms. Snoke, let me ask you again. Has there been any point in time wherein Mr. Solo acted inappropriately towards you?”

Rey sat up straight, squared her shoulders, and in a steady voice that didn’t seem like her own, said, “No, sir, he has not.” 

“Has he touched you intimately?”

“No, sir.”

“Has he ever kissed you in a way that has made you uncomfortable?” 

“No, sir.” 

Seemingly annoyed by her steadfast tone, Canady almost snarled as he said, “Ms. Snoke, you are under oath, and as such should tell the truth. Has Mr. Solo ever done anything towards you that can be deemed inappropriate?”

Still, Rey refused to relent. “No sir, he has not. And I really do not like what you’re trying to insinuate.”

Canady let out a sharp breath, clearly disapproving. “I’ll hold you to that, Ms. Snoke. But for now, we shall proceed.” He made a show of pacing in front of her desk again, hands crossed over his chest. “Ms. Snoke, your mother died when you were very young. How old were you then?” 

“I was three, sir,” Rey answered truthfully. 

“And you were named after your mother, yes?” 

“Yes sir.” 

“What’s your full name again?” 

“Reynabelle Eliza Snoke, sir.”

At this, Canady sneered. “Snoke. Are you aware that your stepfather has never officially adopted you?”

This time, Rey faltered a little. She knew where this was headed. “Y-Yes sir.” 

Canady stuck his nose up in the air. “And do you realize that that being the case, that the laws of this state dictate your grandfather has legal right over you, perhaps more than Mr. Solo does?” 

“Ben Solo is my legal guardian,” Rey resisted, her voice steady and strong. “He’s the only parent I’ve ever known. And it’s not proven yet that Mr. Snoke is my grandfather.” 

“What if he is?” Canady pursued. 

“Then, I will still choose to be with Ben,” Rey said simply, her head angled to mock the way Canady was arrogantly holding his. The attorney saw this and glared at her.

“How old are you again, Ms. Snoke?” 

“I’m fourteen.”

“And you do realize that you need to be eighteen in order to freely decide which parent you will be living with?”

Rey couldn’t say anything at this. Not immediately. And when she finally found a retort, Canady said “No more questions, Mr. Arbitrator,” before walking back to his seat beside Snoke.

Windu nodded to the old attorney before turning to Rey. “Ms. Snoke, you may take your seat.”

Rey loosened her fingers from her skirt. She hadn’t even realized she was making fists over her dress, and she flexed her fingers as she stood up and walked to the conference table to take her seat beside Ben.

“You did well, sweetheart,” he whispered to her, but it did little to ease her turmoil. 

Canady’s questioning, much as she was able to withstand it, had shaken her. She didn’t even hear Windu ask Canady for his witness until the attorney stood up, and in a booming voice, said, “We would like to call on Ms. Maz Kanata.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN! Maz is Snoke's witness! I think a few of you may have guessed this, being that Maz had talked to Atty. Canady a while back. So what will Maz divulge? Will Ben lose custody of Rey because of it? Stay tuned for more!
> 
> Thank you so much dear readers as always for your support, your readership, your kudos, your bookmarks and subscriptions and most especially for engaging with me in the comments section. I really enjoy interacting with you guys so don't be shy in letting your voice be heard. Until next chapter!


	43. COVER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maz testifies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey! Blossoming has reached over 1000 kudos! I never thought when I started this fic 2 months ago that it would reach this milestone so guys, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support! As a celebration, I am updating this new chapter early and have come up with a brand new moodboard which I will be using from here on for my tumblr posts :)
> 
> I wonder though, do you guys still prefer having a per chapter moodboard? Or will this one general moodboard do? Or you don't care either way and just want to read? LOL! Feedback appreciated!
> 
> If you're viewing this on your phone, you might want to swipe left to see the whole moodboard.
> 
> Now, off you go and read :)

  


“Ms. Kanata?”

Maz looked up from where she was seated on the bench outside the conference room. The bailiff was poking his head out of the door, calling for her to come in. She nodded in silence and stood up, smoothing out the skirt of her dark blue frock before nodding at the nervous-looking middle-aged man seated on the other bench across from hers. Another witness, she assumed. She had tried to make small talk with him while the proceedings continued inside, but it was like pulling teeth and she had given up on conversation. Still, she acknowledged the man before heading inside.

The first thing she noticed was how pale Benjamin and Reynabelle’s faces were when they saw her. They were seated together with Benjamin’s attorney at one side of the room, while the man she had talked to a few months before—Atty. Moden Canady—sat in the other with Abraham Snoke. She had met Snoke shortly after Canady’s visit, and even until now, his scarred visage made her uneasy, and she had to remind herself never to judge a book by its cover. By all accounts, or at least from what he and his attorney had told her, Snoke was just a lonely old man intent on having a piece of his family back, and she had become sympathetic to that cause.

Maz paused for a moment, staring at her two former charges, and tried to hide a swallow. She hadn’t seen Benjamin and Reynabelle in months, and part of her ached for them, tears prickling at the corners of her bespectacled eyes but she had to remind herself why she was here. She was here to set things right. She was doing this for both their sakes, even though it may hurt them both. And it wasn’t as though Benjamin would be taken to jail, she thought. She had been careful in what she had divulged to Canady back then, and it was just enough to ensure Reynabelle would be taken off Benjamin’s hands and into the care of a blood relative. That this was a private trial with confidentiality of utmost importance would ensure that Benjamin would at least leave with some shred of dignity left after her testimony.

Sniffling and blinking away her tears, she tore her eyes away from them and slowly followed the bailiff to the front of the conference room, where a desk waited for her beside the man she assumed to be the arbitrator.

She had just walked past Reynabelle’s side when she noticed something that gave her a pause. Reynabelle had both hands on the table, wringing them together as though in worry. And on the girl’s left hand, right where a jewelry-less ring finger was supposed to be, was a gold ring with diamonds clustered into the shape of a flower.

She nearly gasped out loud. She knew what that ring was. Knew who it originally belonged to, knew the story behind it and what it symbolized, and she was instantly taken back to a time when the old mistress Leia Organa-Solo was still alive, and how she had fondly recalled how the old master Han Solo had sold off his motorcycle to buy her that engagement ring. Mistress Leia would tell that story so often, it was embedded in Maz’s mind, and she even recalled Mistress Leia’s wishes to pass the ring on to her son, for him to one day give it to the woman he would spend the rest of his life with.

And now, the ring was on Reynabelle’s finger. Benjamin was serious about her.

“Ms. Kanata?”

“Oh!” Maz blinked and looked apologetically at the arbitrator. “I’m sorry, sir.”

She made her way to the desk pointed to her by the bailiff and sat on the chair behind it, her eyes now constantly on Reynabelle’s ring, tiny from where she was seated, but obvious to her just the same. She was so distracted by it that she barely remembered being sworn in to tell the truth, and even Canady had to repeat his first question twice. 

“Ms. Kanata? Can you state your full name, age and occupation please.”

“Maz Kanata. Age sixty eight. Former head servant of the Solo family household.”

“You recently left your employment, correct?” Canady asked, his annoyance at her earlier distraction still clear.

“Yes, sir.” Maz nodded.

“How long were you employed by the Solos?”

“Thirty four years sir.”

“So you were already working for the Solos since Mr. Benjamin Solo was very young?”

“Since his mother was still pregnant with him, sir,” Maz clarified. “I was only a nanny then.”

“Is it safe to assume that you helped raise Mr. Solo?” Canady questioned.

“Yes sir.” Maz bit her lip, remembering the little baby boy she had helped care for when Mistress Leia went through a period of post-partum depression; remembered the times he would cling to her skirt and cry for the littlest reasons; remembered how gangly and awkward he was in adolescence. She hadn’t just raised him. She had watched him grow into the man he was now; watched him fall in love and go through heart ache...and fall in love again.

In love...

Canady’s next question cut through her musings. “And what about Ms. Snoke?”

“Yes sir. I raised her too.” Again, Maz recalled the baby Reynabelle had been; how she had constantly been by the girl’s side through her sick days, through her better days. With Annabelle sick and gone, Maz had stepped in to the role of Rey’s mother, and had grown to see her as the daughter she could have had.

And now that daughter was staring back at her with desperation, an engagement ring sparkling in her hand...

“Ms. Kanata, after serving the Solos for half your life, why did you decide to leave?”

Maz barely heard the question; barely even looked at Canady as she stared at Reynabelle and Benjamin, who were looking at her as though to beg her, and she was suddenly brought back to the day she had left Alderaan Manor.

_“...Ben is the best thing to ever happen to me…”_

_“...I would never abandon Rey…”_

Then, she saw Benjamin put his hand over Reynabelle’s squeezing it gently as he whispered something in her ear; perhaps reassuring her, and the way they looked at each other, the adoration in their faces...it was too much.

“Ms. Kanata?” Canady called. “Can you tell us why you left the Solos?”

“I...have my reasons,” Maz finished with a deep breath, and she felt her hardened heart softening.

“Those reasons being?” Canady prodded.

Maz simply answered, “Old age.”

Canady’s brows met in confusion as he looked at the papers Maz didn’t even realize he was holding. It was clear he thought something was amiss.

Canady then proceeded to ask Maz what her time with the Solos was like, and Maz painted for them a picture of a happy family and a happy work environment, though she didn’t gloss over the details of tragedy when Benjamin’s parents met their untimely demise, the scandals Annabelle had wrought, her subsequent death a few years after her daughter was born, and soon, Maz would carefully describe the closeness of stepfather and stepdaughter, and how Ben was the perfect father figure to Rey—always putting her well-being first, taking care of her as if she were his own.

At this, Canady’s nostrils flared, and apparently getting down to business, he looked at his papers one more time and asked bluntly, “Ms. Kanata, in the years that you served in the Solo household, have you ever witnessed Mr. Solo acting inappropriately towards Ms. Snoke?”

Maz stared at Benjamin and Reynabelle again, watched the color drain from their faces as their entwined hands tightened around each other.

In a calm voice, she said, “No sir, I did not.”

Canady almost sputtered, and he looked at the papers again. “But Ms. Kanata, in your sworn statement, you said Mr. Solo has acted inappropriately and intimately towards his stepdaughter, and that you believe it prudent that Ms. Snoke be removed from his care.”

Maz turned away from the stunned looks on Benjamin and Reynabelle’s faces and looked Canady directly in the eye. “I know what I said in the statement I made. And I’m here to recant all of it.”

If there was a jury or an audience, the room would be abuzz by now. As it was, the room only fell deathly silent, though she could almost hear the gnashing of teeth coming not just from Canady, but from his old client, who remained seated not far from where she was, his wrinkled, spindly fingers curling into fists over the table.

 Gathering himself, Canady said, “Ms. Kanata, you swore an oath to tell the truth—”

“And that is why I’m here now, telling the truth,” Maz cut in before Canady could finish his sentence. “Benjamin and Reynabelle have a loving stepfather and stepdaughter relationship and no one should take that away from them.”

“Ms. Kanata…” Canady’s anger was barely concealed now. “Are you telling me that you lied in your statement?”

“That is exactly what I’m saying, sir,” Maz said with confidence. “And if I need to be punished for it, so be it.”

Perjury, she knew, carried with it some hefty consequences but she didn’t care. Not anymore.  

Canady was red-faced, looking like he was about to spontaneously combust. “Ms. Kanata, could you tell us why you would lie in your written statement?”

“Because I was pressured by yourself and Mr. Snoke into giving that statement,” Maz declared, and the room fell silent once more.

It took almost a minute for a flustered Canady to say he had no more questions, and with one hard glare to Maz, stalked back to his seat beside Snoke.

Now it was Benjamin’s lawyer, D’Acy who stood up and approached her desk. “Ms. Kanata, can you tell us what you know of the relationship between Mr. Solo and Ms. Snoke?”

“They have a close relationship, though they haven’t always been that way,” Maz said truthfully, shifting a little in her seat. “They care for each other very much, as any stepfather and stepdaughter should.”

D’Acy looked at her thoughtfully. “Would you say that relationship was intimate in more ways than is appropriate?”

“No Ma’am, not at all.”

“And do you think it is in Ms. Snoke’s best interest to remain with Mr. Solo?”

At this, Maz did what she didn’t think she would do when she first set foot in the conference room: she nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, Ma’am.”

“No further questions Mr. Arbitrator.” D’Acy nodded to the arbitrator and walked back to her seat. The arbitrator then dismissed Maz, and with her head held high, she stood up, gave a slight nod to a relieved Benjamin and Reynabelle, and exited the conference room, ignoring the murderous glare that Abraham Snoke threw her way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Maz saved them. She had the power to destroy them but chose to save them instead, after seeing and realizing that Ben's feelings for Rey were true. This is the very reason why I wrote the proposal scene, for Ben to give Rey his mother's engagement ring, because it is to be the catalyst for Maz's change of heart.
> 
> Far as my research goes, Canady could've actually declared Maz a hostile witness, after which, he would've been allowed to ask leading questions. But then again, Canady has been asking leading questions, even back with Rey and this is a more informal set up so I decided not to bother with it.
> 
> Now that that's over, there will still be another chapter left of the custody battle. I've written over half of the next chapter already but I need to tweak it some more. Hopefully I can post it in 2-3 days or less. You know I can't stay away from you guys <3
> 
> Thank you again for helping this fic reach a new milestone, for all your continued support and readership. I hope you'll continue to support me as we near the end of this fic and in the near future, start another. Thank you so much guys and Reylo on!


	44. TRUTH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth will out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've just hit 50,000 hits! Thank you so much guys!
> 
> Anyway, the arbitration continues. Read on...

Ben and Rey had lunch at a restaurant close to the arbitrator’s office building. D’Acy wasn’t with them, having taken their last witness with her to lunch in another restaurant. Ben only had a glimpse of the witness before D’Acy took him away—a pale, mousy, nervous little man with his obviously dyed black hair slicked back and his suit and tie looking like they were hastily put on.

Ben looked around the restaurant. He and Rey were in a booth at a corner, so they had a bit of privacy, enough that they could safely talk about the case, particularly details they didn’t want revealed in the arbitration. Snoke and his attorney were at a different restaurant too, which made it all the more easy for them to talk.

“I wonder what made Maz change her mind,” Rey said in a low voice between bites of her asparagus pasta salad. “I was so sure she was going to tell everyone about us.”

“I guess we’ll never know,” Ben said in a voice just as low, slicing his fillet mignon and taking the bite to his mouth. They hadn’t gotten a chance to thank Maz because she was gone by the time Windu dismissed them for lunch.

He swallowed and sighed. That testimony from Maz would have ruined everything had she not covered for them. It was a close call, and he made a mental note to call his former servant later to thank her.

They soon finished eating, and while waiting for the waiter to return with his credit card, Ben took Rey’s hand in his, tracing the diamonds of her ring with his thumb. “Rey...the next witness will be disclosing truths that could win us the case. But these truths can...or rather are devastating. You can still go home if you want. I can call Artoo right now, have him pick you up and—”

Rey shook her head before he could finish his sentence. “No, Ben. I told you. I’m going to see this through with you until the end.” She clutched his hand and squeezed it. “Let me stay with you. Please.”

He stared at where their hands were intertwined before letting out a deep breath, resigning himself. “Okay, Rey. But promise me that whatever happens, you have to stay strong.”

“Okay, Ben.” She nodded. “I promise.”

* * *

Windu called for the next part of the session to start, and Ben clasped his fingers on the table while D’Acy called their witness. They all turned to the bailiff as he led the dark-haired timid man from before into the conference room and walked him to the desk. The man looked around for a moment, shifting his gaze away when he saw Snoke glaring at him.

Then, the man’s eyes settled on Ben’s side of the table, his eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets as he stared. It took a while for Ben to realize that the man was staring at Rey.

“Sir? Take your seat please,” the bailiff said to the man, who shakily nodded and took his seat, though he kept staring at Rey even as Windu swore him in to tell the truth.

Ben stole a glance at Snoke’s side of the table. He was whispering something to his attorney, urgently it seemed, and for the first time that day, Snoke appeared rattled. As well he should be, Ben thought. This old man deserved more than to feel the discomfort he was feeling now. He deserved to be destroyed.

Ben let his dark thoughts pass as D’Acy stood up and took the floor again, ready to begin another round of questioning. “State your name, age and occupation please.”

“D-Dopheld. Dopheld Mitaka. Age forty seven. A private nurse,” the man introduced himself, his shoulders trembling as he did so.

“And you used to work as a private nurse for the Snokes, correct?” D’Acy used a more soothing voice than she did with Rey, and it helped calm Mitaka enough so he didn’t stammer with his next words.

 “Yes, I took care of Mr. Abraham Snoke’s wife, Rachelle Elise Snoke.”

“What was the nature of the illness of Mrs. Snoke?” D’Acy inquired.

“She was a quadriplegic, Ma’am,” Mitaka informed. “I was told she fell down the stairs and broke her neck. She also suffered from severe depression which caused her to be catatonic.”

Ben pressed his lips together. Most of the information Mitaka would be revealing wouldn’t be new to him, being that he had read through the entirety of DJ’s report. He also knew that this would only be the beginning of more disturbing truths, and he moved his hands off the table and placed them on his lap, ready to reach out for Rey’s hand nearby if need be.

“How long did you work with the Snokes?” D’Acy continued questioning.

“ Seven years, Ma’am,” Mitaka answered, shifting in his seat.

“When did you leave your employment?”

 “I left thirteen years ago, Ma’am.”

“Can you tell us the reason why you left?”

“Mrs. Snoke had died by then. My services were no longer needed.”

 D’Acy paced the small space in front of the room, silent for a while before proceeding. “Were you familiar with their daughter? Annabelle Elizabeth Snoke?”

At this, Mitaka looked at Rey again, though he quickly turned his attention back to D’Acy. “Y-Yes Ma’am.”

“How old was she when you first started working for the Snoke’s?”

“She was thirteen, Ma’am.” Mitaka, Ben observed, was doing his best to steady his voice, but even from a distance he could see sweat beading at the man’s forehead, even in the air-conditioned room.

“So Annabelle was around the same age then as her daughter is now?” D’Acy asked, and this seemed to jar Mitaka.

“Daughter?” he echoed.

“Her daughter. Reynabelle Snoke.” D’Acy pointed to Rey, and Mitaka’s eyes widened again as he stared before he managed to catch himself.

“I...I believe so Ma’am. That Annabelle was the same age as that girl when I first met her.”

“Mr. Mitaka, what was the nature of your relationship with Ms. Annabelle Snoke?” D’Acy pursued.

“I was friendly with her Ma’am.” There was a slight smile in Mitaka’s face, even as his brows met with worry.

“And what would you say was the nature of the relationship between Mr. Snoke and his daughter?” D’Acy inquired, and at this, Canady shot up from his chair.

“Objection Mr. Arbitrator,” Canady said, louder than what was necessary, which made Ben frown. “I don’t see how Mr. Snoke’s relationship with his daughter has any bearing on the case.”

D’Acy appeared all too ready to take on the objection. “Mr. Arbitrator, I am here to establish that the relationship of Mr. Snoke and his daughter is the very reason why we cannot grant him custody of Ms. Reynabelle Snoke.”

“Objection overruled,” Windu declared, and Ben saw Canady’s scowl deepen, the veins of his neck protruding as he sat back down.

D’Acy turned her attention back to Mitaka and repeated her question. “Mr. Mitaka, what is the nature of the relationship between Mr. Snoke and his daughter?”

“He was...he was...” Mitaka licked his lips, tremors wracking his shoulders as he let out a shaky breath. “He was...abusive...towards her.”

“Abusive how?” D’Acy asked for clarification. However, Mitaka seemed to be lost, his eyes becoming glassy and even from where he was seated, Ben could see the man’s thin lips quiver. “Mr. Mitaka, we will need you to tell us the truth.”

Mitaka took a deep breath, seeming to gather strength, and Ben reached out for Rey’s hand, knowing that she would need as much comfort as he could give. Her hands were already cold and clammy as it was, and when he looked at her, he saw that her eyes were on Mitaka, and he could tell she was already fearing the worst.

“He...Mr. Snoke he...he raped her. Constantly.” Mitaka was in tears now, and Rey let out an audible gasp, which made Ben squeeze her hand. “I would find her sometimes, bruises all over...clothes torn and...and...” Mitaka put his head in his hands and began to sob. Ben’s eyes darted towards Snoke, and saw that the old man had turned still as a statue, his features unreadable as he stared at his former employee.

D’Acy approached Mitaka, and with a gentle voice, said, “Mr. Mitaka, I need you to gather yourself for me. Can you do that?”

“Y-Yes Ma’am.” Mitaka sniffled, taking out a handkerchief to wipe the tears from his eyes.

D’Acy carried on with questioning. “Did you witness this abuse first hand?”

Mitaka nodded. “Y-Yes Ma’am.”

“How old was Annabelle then?”

“She was thirteen, Ma’am.”

D’Acy’s lips tightened. Ben knew that just like him, D’Acy also knew this truth beforehand. It didn’t make hearing it straight from the witness’s lips any easier. Once again, Ben turned to look at Rey, and saw that she had grown eerily still, her eyes shimmering, her hand limp in his grip, and he had to resist the urge to pull her into his embrace.

“Did you try to help her?” D’Acy asked.

“No. I was terrified. I needed that job.” Mitaka was trembling again. “I should have helped her. I should have done something.”

He started crying again, and once more, D’Acy had to talk him down with a soothing voice. “Mr. Mitaka, I know this is all difficult for you to relive, but I need you to focus, alright?”

“Y-Yes Ma’am.” Mitaka nodded. D’Acy gave him a moment to compose himself before she continued.

“Mr. Mitaka, do you know how long the abuse went on?”

“It went on for another six years, Ma’am.”

“So until she was nineteen?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Ben heard rather than saw Rey take in a sharp breath.

Six years. Six years, Annabelle had suffered under the hands of a monster. Her own father. Ben had thought of this constantly ever since DJ sent him those files, and hearing Mitaka’s testimony now brought back thoughts of his dead wife, and though the things she did still stung him, he had since come to a kind of understanding—her attempted suicide when they first met, her infidelity, her constant need for sex—Annabelle had been twisted up and had had to cope with her demons, even if it meant destroying herself and the people closest to her.

The questioning continued.

“Do you know why the abuse finally stopped?”

“Annabelle finally fought back.” Mitaka dabbed his eyes with the handkerchief before wiping his sweaty forehead with it. “Mr. Snoke was...he was doing it to her when she grabbed some scissors and slashed his face. That’s why he has a scar.”

At this, Ben’s eyes darted towards Snoke again, at the jagged scar that traversed his face, and he almost winced at the idea of having a pair of sharp scissors cut through human flesh. But the feeling was fleeting. The old man deserved it, he thought.

“Did you witness this event, Mr. Mitaka?” D’Acy went on.

“No. I only learned of it afterwards, when Annabelle asked me to help her run away,” Mitaka informed, his voice now steadier than earlier.

“And did you help her?”

Mitaka nodded, his shoulders squared as though for once in his life, he was proud of something he did. “Yes. Yes, I helped her.”

“How did you render that help?” D’Acy prodded.

“I treated Mr. Snoke’s wound,” Mitaka explained. “Gave him sedatives instead of painkillers so she would have time to leave the house.”

Ben glanced at Snoke again. The old man seemed to be clenching his teeth behind closed lips.

“Did you keep in touch with Annabelle after she left?” D’Acy queried.

“No, Ma’am.” Mitaka shook his head. “I never heard from her again.”

“Thank you Mr. Mitaka.” D’Acy nodded to the man and turned to Windu. “No more questions Mr. Arbitrator.”

D’Acy took her seat, and it was a while before Canady stood up to take his turn at questioning the witness. “Mr. Mitaka, do you still take your medication?”

Mitaka blinked. “Sir?”

“Your medication,” Canady repeated. “Risperidone. Clozapine. Olanzapine. Medication for your schizophrenia.”

 _“Fuck,”_ Ben thought, and shared a distressed look with D’Acy. Neither of them knew about this, and it wasn’t on DJ’s report at all.

 “I still take them,” came Mitaka’s slow, nervous answer.

“How religiously?” Canady asked.

“I take them,” Mitaka insisted.

“You are not answering my question, Mr. Mitaka,” Canady harrumphed. “Do you or do you not take your medication?”

“I...occasionally,” Mitaka finally admitted, his shoulders slumping. Ben winced, as did D’Acy.

“And at the time when you claim this alleged abuse went on, how often did you take your medication?” Canady followed.

“I...I don’t remember.” Mitaka shook his head. He was beginning to tremble again.

Canady was relentless in his questioning. “Is it possible then that you could have imagined everything you claim to have witnessed in Mr. Snoke’s home?”

Mitaka’s head shot up. “No! How could I imagine something so horrible?”

Canady practically snorted. “Do you have proof of this occurrence other than your word?”

“Ask Annabelle,” Mitaka declared, almost desperately. “She can tell you.”

At this, Canady smirked. “And where is Annabelle?”

“She’s sitting right there!” Mitaka pointed at Rey, and the girl gasped and tightened her hold on Ben’s hand. “Ask her! She’ll tell you.”

“Mr. Mitaka, that is not Annabelle.” Canady feigned a sympathetic tone, but it was obvious Mitaka would have none of it.

To Ben’s shock, and everyone else’s, Mitaka suddenly shot up to his feet and made a mad dash towards Rey, gripping her shoulders before Ben could stop him. “Annabelle, tell them what he did to you! Tell them!”

Ben held on fast to Rey, trying to pry Mitaka’s hands off her but the man was relentless, begging and sobbing for ‘Annabelle’ to tell everyone the truth. The bailiff then grabbed Mitaka by the waist, pulling him off Rey and dragging him out of the conference room, kicking and screaming, “Tell them, Annabelle! Tell them!”

Soon, Mitaka and the bailiff were out of the room, though his screams could still be heard down the hallway until all was silent.

After a long moment of silence, the arbitrator, Mace Windu, cleared his throat. “Well...now that that little sideshow is over, I believe I’ve heard enough from both sides. It’s time we get to the DNA results.”

All attention now back on Windu, Ben put a hand around Rey’s still trembling shoulder, hugging her sideways as Windu took one of his plastic folders and opened it, peering over his glasses for a moment to read through the papers inside.

 “The results are as follows.” Windu cleared his throat again before continuing. “In the case of Snoke versus Solo, on the paternity of Reynabelle Eliza Snoke...Mr. Benjamin Lucas Solo...” a pause, “...is _not_ the father.”

Ben couldn’t help but sigh with relief. Deep down, he knew that would be the outcome, but it was a relief to have it confirmed that he and Rey were not blood-related.

Windu took another paper, eyes moving through the file, and Ben tightened his hold on Rey when he saw the arbitrator’s brows rise to his forehead.

It was a while before Windu spoke again, and when he did, his tone was grave. “And the DNA results for the other party...Mr. Abraham Snoke _is_ the _grandfather_...” Windu swallowed hard, “...and the _father_ of Ms. Reynabelle Eliza Snoke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of you already guessed this ever since we learned of Annabelle's aversion to the term 'Daddy', though some of you already guessed earlier than that. This has always been the plan ever since I introduced Snoke into the picture. Annabelle was fucked up because she WAS fucked up by her own father. And now we learn that Rey is the product of incest. How will she and Ben deal with this new information? Stay tuned to find out!
> 
> Thank you so much again dear readers for all your support. We're 6 chapters away from the ending now. I had initially planned on finishing before Star Wars Celebration but I don't think I'll be able to do that so I'll just work on my own pace.
> 
> Next chapter is still not finished. Not even half way through since I made some plot changes. But I hope you guys will continue to wait patiently as I work it out. Thanks again and hope to interact with you in the comments section!


	45. REPERCUSSIONS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey deals with the truth about her birth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry to keep you guys waiting. It took me a while to finish this chapter because it's a whopping 7,300+ words. I initially planned on splitting it into two parts, but I realized the story, while indeed having two parts, can seamlessly be integrated into one chapter so I decided to give you guys a long, long read. Hopefully this makes up for my later than usual update.
> 
> Reviewed only a few times so please excuse the errors. No beta.

She was Abraham Snoke’s granddaughter.

And his daughter.

She was her mother’s own sister.

The thoughts repeated in Rey’s head over and over in a vicious cycle, leaving her speechless all throughout the remainder of the arbitration. She only caught snippets of the next proceedings after the DNA test results were revealed, like how feebly Canady had argued that Snoke now had more rights over her, being that he was her biological father. This was quickly shot down by D’Acy, especially since Snoke was now proven to be a rapist and a pedophile who impregnated his own daughter. The arguments continued but it barely registered to Rey. She didn’t even react when the arbitrator passed judgment and awarded Ben full custody of her; barely even moved when Ben embraced her and discreetly planted a quick kiss to her temple.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” he mumbled into her hair, and she answered by leaning into him, still much too in shock to say anything.

No, she wasn’t okay. She was never going to be okay, and she buried her face into Ben’s chest when she saw Snoke—her father-grandfather—gaze at her with an unreadable glint in his blue eyes.

There would be no arrests made, despite D’Acy bringing up the possibility. Even though there were no statutes of limitations in their state for prosecuting sexual crimes against children, Canady was quick to point out that the arbitration agreement Ben had entered with Snoke stated that neither party could sue the other in court. And so the arbitration ended with Snoke and Canady leaving in a huff, while Ben and his party stayed behind a while longer, waiting for Rey to snap out of her shock.

She managed to get herself together enough to walk steadily beside Ben as he bid D’Acy goodbye and they made their way towards the Lexus, though she had to cling to his arm lest her knees give away.

The ride home was silent, peppered only with Ben’s futile attempts to get her to talk. She could barely hear him through the din of her own thoughts, of memories and words repeating like a broken record.

  _“Mr. Abraham Snoke is the grandfather...and the father of Ms. Reynabelle Eliza Snoke.”_

Grandfather and father. Mother and sister. Daughter and granddaughter. They were all those things at once, tangled in dark family tree of twisted branches, with her as the fruit of an ungodly union. She was the result of a heinous, unforgivable sin; a taint that could never be cleansed, and it was all she could do to wrap her arms around herself to keep from falling apart.

Ben eventually stopped talking, and she wasn’t sure whether he had given up, or simply wanted to give her space. She needed the latter so she could process her thoughts, but at the same time she didn’t want him to give up on her. She was torn between two needs, lost and confused through all the tumult, but unable to voice out her feelings, and so she settled for silence, tightening her grip on her shoulders as they drove ever closer to home.

When Ben parked the Lexus in their property, she quickly got off the vehicle and ran towards the house, not heeding Ben’s cries for her to come back and ignoring Threepio’s greeting at the door as her feet carried her swiftly up the stairs and into her room, where she threw herself on the bed and finally let it all go.

She cried and screamed into her pillow, pounding at it with her fists. Nothing could compare to the devastation brought upon by this revelation; not the bullying at school, the sexual assault by Poe, not even the time Ben questioned her love for him. There was no solution to this, no way out of this problem when she herself was the problem; her and the inbred blood running through her veins, and she wailed and screamed like she had never done before. She didn’t even notice Ben entering her room and locking her door until she heard the latch click, and she sat up, watching through tear-filled eyes as he approached her bed.

“Did you know?” she demanded. “Did you know he was my father?”

“No.” Ben shook his head. “I had my suspicions, but I didn’t want to believe it.” The mattress shifted as he sat on the bed beside her, and he reached out to take her in his arms but Rey would have none of it.

“Don’t touch me!” she screeched, slapping his hands away. “You shouldn’t even be near me. I’m a monster. A freak!”

She buried her face in her hands again, bawling over and over, all the shock, the revulsion, the horror and anger spilling forth in the form of tears dripping down her chin and onto the skirt of her red dress.

The mattress shifted again as Ben scooted closer and pulled her into his embrace. She resisted at first, shaking her head and pounding her fists on his arms and chest but he wouldn’t let go until she finally went limp in his arms, sobbing into his shirt and staining his collar with her tears.

“I’m my mother’s own sister,” she wailed, her shoulders shaking with her sobs. “My grandfather is my own father. I’m the daughter of a rapist. An incestuous rapist!”

She continued to cry, even as Ben began rocking her in his arms, and threading his fingers through her hair to soothe her. Nothing could soothe her after this. Over the last few years, she had wondered who her father was, and she had hoped to one day find the answer. She never thought that answer would be this, and she wanted nothing more than to strike it from her memory. But DNA tests didn’t lie.

She felt Ben’s soft lips on her temple, his nose in her hair. “Shhh, it’s okay, Rey. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay!” she shouted and pulled away from him, glaring at him through eyes brimmed with tears. “How could you tell me it’s okay when I’m the granddaughter _and_ daughter of a rapist?!”

She buried her face in her hands again, sobbing until Ben gathered her into his arms once more. He didn’t say anything, but simply let her cry it out, which she did.  She wanted to be alone, to push him out the door and slam it shut, but she couldn’t deny that his presence helped; that his embrace did relieve her, even though his words didn’t.

After a time, Rey took her hands away from her face and stared at her trembling fingers, which were wet with her tears. It all made sense now, why she was born with poor health, and it wasn’t just the drugs Annabelle took while pregnant with her. She was a genetic abnormality; an abomination that should never have been born. “I...I’m not normal. I can’t be. Something...something’s wrong with me. I...I shouldn’t have been born.”

“Rey, please don’t think that,” Ben whispered gently, tightening his hold on her.

“How could I not think that, Ben?” She turned her head towards him, her face puffy from crying. “I’m abnormal. I’m a freak!”

“No, sweetheart, you’re not a freak, okay?” He released her from his arms and with both hands, held her shoulders gently so he could turn her body towards him. “You were born perfect. You _are_ perfect.”

“No, I’m not.” She shook her head vehemently.

“Yes, you are,” Ben insisted, then dropped his hands from her shoulders to hold her hands in his, his thumb caressing the engagement ring on her finger. “Rey...your DNA doesn’t define who you are. You’re still the Rey I know and love. Still the same Rey I’m going to marry someday.”

A well of feelings bubbled up inside her at his words—joy, sadness, fear, relief and overwhelming love for Ben—bombarding her all at once until she bawled and clung to him, fingers clutching his dark jacket, face pressed against his white shirt.

“You should be disgusted,” she said in between sobs. “You shouldn’t even want me after this.”

“But I still do. And I always will.” Ben put his arms around her again, and she sank into them, needing his warmth now more than ever, his words finally reaching in and touching her heart. “I love you, Rey. This doesn’t change a thing. You’re still you. And you’re perfect.”

Rey found herself crying harder. He still loved her, despite the circumstances of her birth. Despite the possible defects she may have. And if there was anything she still wanted to believe in at this point, it was Ben’s words, spoken with sincerity and raw emotion, even as the other part of her screamed of her deficiency as a person; her deficiency as a human being.

They stayed that way for a while, clinging on to each other and rocking as they sat on the bed, Rey’s occasional sobs and hiccups piercing the silence.

“Let me get you some water,” Ben offered and started to get off the bed but Rey clung to him fast.

“D-Don’t leave me...” she whimpered.

“Never,” he said softly, taking her hand and planting a long kiss on her hand. “I’m just going to get you some water. I won’t be gone long.”

She shook her head again, her grip on his jacket tightening. “No. I...I need you, Ben. I need you now.”

The words were out before Rey could stop them, and she found that she didn’t regret what they implied. She was desperate, pleading, begging to be reassured, and only Ben could give her that. His eyes searched hers, and when she saw his pupils dilate, she knew he had gotten her meaning.

“Are you sure?” he asked, reaching out to run his knuckles down the side of her face and swiping a tear with his thumb.

She nodded and turned her head so she could kiss his palm. “Please, Ben. Show me that you still love me despite all this...”

“I will never stop loving you,” he said, the passion in his voice stoking the fires within her as he cupped her face in his large hands. “You’re perfect as you are, Rey. Let me show you just how much...”

He kissed her lips then, and she tearfully kissed him back in a soft melding of lips on lips. She could taste the salt in her own tears as their lips parted, met and meshed together, and soon, tongues darted out to dance over and under the other, faces angling in time with ever-deepening kisses.

“Perfect lips...” he mumbled before moving his mouth to the her neck. “Perfect skin...” He lingered for a while, sliding his tongue across the skin of her throat while his hands moved towards the zipper at the back of her red dress, lowering it and gently tugging until the garment pooled at her waist, exposing her nude-colored bra to him. “Perfect body...”

He shrugged off his black jacket and started to loosen his red tie when Rey reached out to loosen it for him, tossing it aside before ridding him of his white shirt one button at a time, all the while locking gazes with him until she had bared his chest, leaning over to kiss him once more as she pulled the shirt free of his torso and tossed it along with his other clothes on the floor.

Still kissing, she rose to her knees to press her body against his, her arms around his neck while his hands roamed the expanse of her small back, fingers fumbling with the clasp of her bra until he had freed her breasts.

The silence of the late afternoon was punctuated only with the sounds of soft moans, heavy breathing and the rustling of clothes as Rey and Ben continued to kiss, fondle, and remove the rest of their garments until it all lay in a pile on the floor. Now completely naked, Rey allowed herself to be pulled down on top of Ben, her breasts pressed against his chest while their lips and tongues moved in rhythm, hands roaming across hot skin over tense muscles. She could feel him starting to harden, and she wiggled her hips so she could rub him between her legs.  He groaned into her mouth and put both his hands on her ass, pressing her down on him so he could grind himself against her center, and soon he was hard enough to enter her, but he didn’t.

“Sit on my face, Rey,” he whispered. Rey started to protest, but he reassured her. “It’s fine, my love. I want to taste you. Make you come apart.”

Still unsure, Rey moved so she had her knees on either side of his head, hands holding on to the headboard as she slowly sank to his waiting mouth, hissing and moaning in ecstasy when his tongue made contact with her throbbing clit. She proceeded to undulate her hips over him, feeling his full lips and tongue move all over her pussy as she rocked against his face, throwing her head back as she did. She bit her lip and closed her eyes when she felt him reach up to grab her breasts, tugging at her nipples while he licked languidly between her slippery folds.

“Ben...mmmm...Ben...” Over and over she called out his name, for once not wanting to call him by his usual sexual endearment, wanting to remind herself that he was Ben, her lover and not her father or her stepfather. She had seen the mockery life had dealt her in that her mother had been involved with her father too, and she had to tell herself that what she had with Ben was different; that this was a consensual act between two unrelated people desperately in love with each other. There was no coercion, no force; only assent and passion.

She felt one of Ben’s hands leave her breast and soon, she heard the distinct sounds of him pleasuring himself. She turned her head and sure enough, saw him pumping his hand up and down his hard length, the skin tightening and loosening with his every movement, the veins protruding and the tip leaking. She licked her lips and without a word, she lifted herself from his face, ignoring his groans of protest as she turned her whole body around until she faced his cock, her knees straddling his chest while her pussy moved back down to his plush lips.

Feeling his satisfied moans against her pussy lips, Rey gently pried his hands from his cock and held it in place as she took him in her mouth and began to suck. Ben gasped and licked her in response, stiffening his tongue and penetrating her folds while she continued to suck and stroke him, cradling his balls with her other hand. Pleasuring each other in this position would have been difficult given their height difference, but Ben’s length made up for it, and Rey was able to take almost half of him in her mouth.

This was how it should be, she thought; consensual and pleasurable for both, each action borne out of a physical need to express their love for one another. She loved him and he loved her, and she once again felt choked up at the thought that he could still actually love her despite knowing the truth. This made her worship his cock even more, reverently moving her tongue along his shaft and enveloping him in the warmth of her mouth while she basked in the sensations his lips and tongue elicited as he continued his attentions to her cunt, filling it with his tongue while his finger snaked in between her legs to stimulate her clit until she was clenching and moaning.

After long moments of licking and sucking in a slow, torturous pace, Ben pulled his face away and nudged for Rey to do the same. She let go of his cock with a pop and lifted her body away, turning around so she could kiss him. She could taste herself on his lips, his tongue, in his mouth, in his very soul.

“Ride me, Rey,” he whispered after a time, lifting her a little so now her pussy was hovering over his erection, the tip teasing her entrance. “Take control.”

Control. That was what she had so long lost—control over her life. And now Ben was giving her a semblance of that.

Entwining her fingers with his, she slowly lowered herself down on his cock, feeling the pleasing ache as his girth stretched her insides, his length impaling her inch by inch until he was sheathed to the hilt, a breathy moan escaping their lips simultaneously at their union.

Then, Rey began to move, rising and falling on him, feeling every contour of him dragging along her inner walls while their entwined fingers tightened around each other and their mouths hung open with their breaths and gasps.

“T-Tell me y-you still love me...” she stuttered through her words, struggling to form a coherent sentence as pleasure lanced through her with every rise and fall.

“I still...love you...Rey...” Ben grunted from beneath her while bucking his hips up in time with her movements, making her moan at the added friction and pressure it gave. “I’ll always...love you...”

“Tell me you’ll never leave me,” she said, a little more urgently this time, a little more demanding as she rose and fell faster, her hair flying over her shoulders, her breasts jiggling with every bounce. “Tell me you’ll never let me go.”

“Never!” Ben growled, baring his teeth as his hips snapped up to meet hers. “I’d die before I let you go.”

“Oh, Ben!” She was starting to cry again, and she let go of his hands and leaned down to kiss him, stamping out the sobs that threatened to escape her throat. Her arms found their way around his neck, and he kissed her back fiercely as he sat up, their bodies still connected in the most intimate of ways while their lips and tongues continued to clash, his hands clawing at her back while hers threaded through his raven hair.

Rey rocked against him then, planting her feet firmly on the mattress, the penetration not as deep but pleasurable all the same. She stopped kissing him and stared deep into his eyes, his pupils blown wide so that it was darker than she had ever seen them. She felt him move his hands to her ass, fingers digging in to her flesh as he guided her into his thrusts, their movements becoming more and more frantic yet somehow still in sync.

“I love you, Rey,” he whispered huskily between breaths, moving his hips in time with hers. “I’ll never stop loving you.”

“Don’t stop, don’t you ever stop,” Rey moaned, framing his long face with her small hands and kissing him roughly as she bounced on him. “I love you so much, Ben Solo...”

They kissed as they continued to move into each other, the bed creaking with their motions, joining in on their moans as they chased after their climax, moving ever closer to the crest until they fell over.

Rey cried out as she felt her muscles clamp around Ben while he buried his shouts into her shoulder, his cock twitching inside her with every spurt of cum, sweaty bodies jerking against one another until their orgasm subsided, and they sat wrapped up in each other’s embrace, foreheads now touching, heavy breaths mingling between them.

“You’re perfect, Rey,” Ben murmured. She could feel his cock starting to soften but he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to pull out of her. “You’re perfect in every way and I hope you will never forget that.”

“I’ll try not to...” she said tentatively. He must have sensed her hesitation, because he held her close and kissed her deeply again.

“I’ll just have to remind you everyday then so you’ll remember,” he mumbled into her lips.

“Yes.” She nodded and kissed him back. “I’d like that.”

* * *

Ben scheduled Rey for an appointment with the therapist, Dr. Abed Ackbar. He knew she was going to need it far more than he did now. There was only so much that he could do to help her bear the burden of her origins, and though he had urged her to go alone, she refused to let him leave, and he had had to go to her session with her.

Rey had been more clingy since the arbitration, even to the point of becoming extremely anxious whenever he left for work. More than once, when he got home, he caught her sleeping with his clothes held tight against her. Sometimes he would catch her actually wearing his shirts to sleep. She said it made her feel less nervous when she smelled him. He didn’t mind it as much as it worried him, but he understood why. The very foundation of who she was had been shaken, maybe even shattered, and it left her thoroughly insecure despite his many attempts to bolster her self-confidence. Snoke had completely destroyed the life of one daughter, and Ben wasn’t going to stand idly by while he destroyed another.

Dr. Ackbar listened as Rey told him about her birth parents, the harsh, revolting truth of it, how she felt about it as well as her thoughts, none of it pleasant. In fact, she was crying for most of the session, and it nearly broke Ben, but he did his best to remain strong for her. He didn’t say anything as she talked and sobbed, but he made sure to hold her hand all the way, letting her know that she wasn’t alone, that he was just right beside her.

Finally, Rey concluded with a statement that crushed Ben’s heart. “I should never have been born. I think it’s better if I hadn’t been born at all.”

“Why do you say that?” Dr. Ackbar asked patiently.

“Because it would have been better for my mother if I wasn’t.” Rey sniffled, accepting the box of tissues Ben offered her and wiping her tears with it. “It would be better if she wasn’t raped. And that she had a better life than the one she had.”

“Do you feel sorry for your mother?” Dr.Ackbar pursued.

“Of course, I do,” she answered, a little indignant. “Why wouldn’t I feel sorry? She went through hell under my...my father.”

She sobbed again at the mention of Snoke, and Ben’s jaw clenched. He had come to feel sorry for Annabelle too, and he felt guilt creep up on him. He should have tried to understand why his wife was the way she was. Instead, he had wallowed in his own pain from all the things she did to him, not for once thinking that she may have a lot of underlying issues that needed to be dealt with. At the same time, knowing what had happened to Annabelle brought him a sense of closure. It wasn’t that he was the one who was lacking, a husband who was wholly inadequate and unworthy of her, but rather that Annabelle’s horrible experiences had left her incapable of committing to him and loving him the way he needed to be loved.

Dr. Ackbar cleared his throat. “Do you regret being alive?”

Rey hesitated. “I...I don’t know...”

“Rey, I want you to look at Ben right now,” Dr. Ackbar instructed, and she did as she was told. “If you weren’t alive, do you think he would be?”

She swallowed hard. “I...I’m not sure.”

“I would have been dead without you, Rey,” Ben finally spoke, taking both her hands in his. “I would have killed myself a long time ago...if it weren’t for the promise I made to your mother. You saved my life simply by being born and you saved me again when I tried to kill myself. I’m alive because of you.”

The reminder seemed to jar Rey, and she sobbed once more, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks as she leaned her head against Ben’s shoulder. Ben handed her the box of tissues again, which she gratefully accepted, and he and Dr. Ackbar waited quietly for her to compose herself.

Once Rey’s sobs had subsided, Dr. Ackbar spoke again. “Rey, your mother made the choice to keep you. She could have gotten rid of you. She was also fighting cancer and yet she chose to forego treatment to save you. Why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know...” Rey shook her head, wiping a stray tear with a tissue. “I always thought it was vanity. She didn’t want to go to chemo because she will lose her hair or something. Also, I think she kept me to keep Ben bound to her.”

Dr. Ackbar pressed his lips together. “Don’t you think that it’s maybe more than that? She did essentially sacrifice her life for yours after all. That’s no mean feat.”

Rey fell quiet at this, as did Ben. With everything that Annabelle did, her wild ways and all the scandals she brought, he had thought the same as Rey and everyone else who came into contact with Annabelle. He hadn’t put any deeper meaning into her choice to keep the baby other than narcissism. He had never even entertained the idea that Annabelle could have actually loved her unborn child...until now.

“Your mother had every reason to terminate the pregnancy, but she didn’t,” Dr. Ackbar continued when Rey still didn’t speak. “She made the choice to spare the life of a child that should not have been. She even made your stepfather promise to take care of you, probably knowing she didn’t have long left in this world. Do you think she would have done all that if she didn’t actually love you in her own way?”

Ben tightened his grip on Rey’s hand as she let out a deep breath. This may have been Rey’s therapy session, but he felt like he too had come to an epiphany. It was possible that Annabelle, the woman incapable of loving him, had actually loved her daughter. He had not witnessed her being affectionate to Rey in the last three years of her life, but could it have been because she hadn’t wanted Rey to grow attached to her, knowing she was close to dying? The thought didn’t seem so far-fetched now, and his heart broke anew for his dead wife.

“If you put it that way...I suppose she did love me...in her own way...” Rey said carefully, as though the realization had just dawned on her. Then, she shook her head. “It still doesn’t excuse all the other things she did.”

Rey was resisting, Ben thought. She was resisting looking at her mother from a better perspective, and he understood why, being that they both saw Annabelle in a negative light for years. Knowing that they could have been wrong about her all along...denial was a natural reaction.

Dr. Ackbar was nothing but patient. “True. It doesn’t excuse her other misdeeds. She made a lot of mistakes in her life, but you, Rey, are not one of them.” He paused, seemingly to allow the weight of his words to sink in, and Ben took in a deep breath as it did. The way Rey stilled told him she got it too.

“You’re not one of your mother’s mistakes, Rey,” Dr. Ackbar continued. “You may have been forced into her life, but she didn’t make a mistake when she chose to let you live. And you should honor your mother’s sacrifice by choosing to live and living that life she gave you as best as you can.”

Ben swallowed hard at Dr. Ackbar’s insights. He never imagined that he would ever gain a whole new appreciation for Annabelle, and yet here he was, looking back at her life through different lenses and being more grateful to her now than he had ever believed possible. He felt Rey shudder beside him as fresh tears coursed down her cheeks, and he held her in a sideways embrace, mouthing ‘Thank you’ to Dr. Ackbar as he once again, allowed Rey to weep.

* * *

They scheduled Rey’s next therapy session for the following week. Dr. Ackbar believed it prudent that she continued to see him, despite the small breakthrough they had in their first session and Ben agreed. Rey may be feeling a little better about herself, but he knew this kind of trauma didn’t go away overnight.

Rey continued to cling on to him, texting him and having him call her during his free time at work. Ben did his best to accommodate her, showering her with as much attention and affection as he could until he realized she might need someone to be there for her whenever he was away. It used to be that Maz filled in that role, and he had tried calling his former servant in the hopes of bringing her back into his employment, but she never answered his calls or texts.  And so he had settled for doing the best he could on his own.

Then, one day, he surprised Rey by coming home early from work and bringing over an unexpected guest to the mansion.

“You!” Rey gasped and reached out to shake the man’s hand as Ben led him into the manor. “Mr. Mitaka, right?”

“Y-Yes Anna...I mean Reynabelle.” Dopheld Mitaka shook Rey’s hand before pulling back nervously. He looked better than he did during the arbitration, his shirt and trousers nicely ironed this time. “I’m really sorry about...about what happened before. Looking at you...it’s like seeing Annabelle all over again.”

“I get that a lot.” Rey was smiling when she said this. “What brings you here, by the way?”

“Uhm...” Mitaka looked briefly at Ben, who encouraged him with a smile. “Y-Your stepfather says you...might want to hear more about what your mother was like. When she was younger.”

Rey looked at Ben then, and he shrugged at her. “I think it’s a good idea. Unless you don’t want to...”

“I want to,” Rey quickly chimed in. “I’d love to learn more about her.”

Ben called for Threepio, and soon, the butler and the servants had prepared lemonade and sandwiches in the garden, where he, Rey and Mitaka sat around a white round table.

Mitaka spent that afternoon telling them about Annabelle, how she lived a life that seemed to mirror Rey’s—an absent, albeit living mother, sheltered in a large house, homeschooled, and with a love for Victorian dolls, stuffed animals and dollhouses. Now that Ben thought about it, it was actually Annabelle who had arranged Rey’s nursery to contain such toys, and Rey had continued having them on display in her room.

“She did?” Rey asked Ben when he pointed it out. “You mean some of those old dolls were actually from her?”

Ben nodded. “She had me buy a bunch of them before you were born. She always made a fuss over your nursery. Of course, you did eventually break some of those toys growing up and they had had to be replaced over the years.”

“Annabelle was careful with her dolls,” Mitaka quipped, taking a sip from his glass of lemonade. “She treated them like they were her babies. One time, she even told me that when she grew up and got married, that she would have lots of children. She specifically wanted daughters. She always did want a big family, being an only child and all.”

Rey nibbled on her sandwich for a bit, clearly mulling over this information. “So...you think...Mother wanted me? Despite how I was conceived?”

“I’d like to think so,” Mitaka answered carefully. “Any other young woman in her situation would have opted for an abortion. And yet you’re here. That must count for something.”

Ben saw Rey’s shoulders relax, and he felt like patting Mitaka on the back. The man was telling Rey what she needed to hear.

“Did Mother treat you well?” Rey asked.

“Yes, she was very kind to me.” Mitaka nodded enthusiastically. “She knew I struggled with schizophrenia, knew how hard it was for me to land a job and she made it as easy for me as possible. Even helped me take care of her poor mother.” Then, Mitaka paused, as if unsure he should speak some more, but he did anyway. “After the...abuse started, she changed. She was still nice to me, but she became withdrawn. Wouldn’t tell me what happened, but I knew. And I saw. I tried to help her as much as I could...dressed her wounds, tried to distract Mr. Snoke, but I could only do so much. I only wish I did more. I’m sorry...”

Mitaka’s shoulders trembled again in much the same way they did during the arbitration. Ben feared the man might break down into tears just like before, but he managed to hold himself together this time.

“You helped her escape, Mr. Mitaka,” Rey gently reminded. “If it wasn’t for you, she never would have been able to leave. She never would have met Ben and I...I never would have been under his care. I would have grown up in that house and...” she paused, and Ben shuddered, realizing where her train of thought was headed. If she had grown up in that house, Snoke might very well have done to her what he had done to his other daughter. The thought sickened Ben, and he had to wash down the bile in his throat with several gulps of lemonade.

“That’s the one thing I’m proud of doing. Helping her escape I mean.” Mitaka let out a tight smile.

“Why didn’t she leave sooner though?” Rey questioned, a mixture of sadness and curiosity in her voice. “She could have run away when...when the abuse started, right? Why endure it for six years?”

“Mr. Snoke had a tight hold on her,” Mitaka explained quietly. “She didn’t have any other relatives to speak of, no place that she could run to where he wouldn’t be able to find her. But mostly, she didn’t want to leave her mother behind. I don’t know what changed when she turned nineteen, but whatever it was, she finally fought back and decided to run away. I don’t know if Mr. Snoke was being particularly violent with her or...”

“Or she could have found out that she was pregnant,” Ben finished, his eyes widening as the pieces of the puzzle began to fit together. “That would account for why she was desperate enough to leave her mother. She didn’t want Snoke to get to her child the way he got to her.”

The table grew silent then as the conclusion sank in, the only sounds the chirping of birds and the occasional clinking of melting ice in the glasses.

After a long while, Mitaka spoke again. “That could very well be the reason...that she wanted to save her child. I can only imagine how difficult her choice must have been to leave her mother. If that is the case, then Annabelle was far stronger than I realized. And she was already one of the strongest people I knew.”

Ben and Rey nodded at the same time. Talking to Mitaka, and filling in the gaps of Annabelle’s life had painted for them a completely different side to her, one that they never even knew could possibly exist—a frightened and abused young girl who was twisted up inside and yet was still capable of love; just not expressed in a way that was normal. Annabelle had used Ben, manipulated him into marrying her, but he now realized that she did all that to ensure Rey was safe and taken care of. She may not have loved him, but she did trust him enough to put the well-being of her daughter in his hands.

He began to wonder what Annabelle would have thought if she knew the kind of relationship he now had with Rey, and trickles of a long-suppressed guilt slid down his spine. Annabelle would probably have had him castrated, he thought with a shudder, especially in light of what had happened to her. She would never have approved. Then again, he would never have looked at Rey differently had Annabelle still been alive. And wasn’t he making good with his promise to take care of her? Wasn’t he doing that and more, providing for her, protecting her...and loving her?

Or was he simply telling himself these things to alleviate his guilt?

No, he thought, shaking his head inwardly. He didn’t want to feel guilty over his relationship with Rey. Not again. He loved her fiercely. Far more than he had ever loved anyone, even more than he had loved Annabelle. And he was going to marry her.

Still, the guilt ate away at him, to the point that Rey noticed his silence. “Ben?”

“I...I’m fine.” He patted Rey’s hand under the table. “Just thinking. Anyway, do you still have any questions for Mr. Mitaka?”

“I think I’ve heard enough for today.” Rey seemed tired, probably drained from the heaviness of the latter part of the conversation. Ben thanked Mitaka, and together with Rey, saw him out the front door, where Artoo waited with the Benz to drive him back to his home.

Once the car left the gates, Rey quietly went back inside, and Ben followed her into the foyer, up the stairs and into her room, where he found her, much to his surprise, stripping off her blouse and skirt to put on what was clearly one of his large t-shirts.

“You’ve been stealing my shirts.” It wasn’t an accusation. Merely an observation, and Rey gave him a small smile as she lay down on her bed and curled like a cat. On instinct, Ben locked the door behind him and approached the bed until he was sitting beside her, running his fingers through her hair. She didn’t speak, or smile; didn’t even look at him. Instead, she stared off at nothing in particular, prompting Ben to ask, “Penny for your thoughts?”

She shrugged. “Nothing. I was just thinking how...how similar my life is with Mother’s. How we were both homeschooled, and sheltered...involved with our respective father figures in some way...”

Ben swallowed at that last part. “Do you feel guilty? About being involved with me?”

“Do you?” Rey asked instead of answering.

“Yes, a little bit,” Ben admitted and pulled his hand back from caressing her hair. “Your mother would never have approved of us. She trusted me to take care of you and not do to you what her father did to her. And yet I—”

“I’m going to stop you right there, Ben,” she interrupted, putting a delicate finger against his lips. “Did you ever make me do something I didn’t want to do?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Did you ever force yourself on me?”

“No.”

“Did you ever abuse me?”

“No.”

“Then don’t compare yourself to Snoke,” Rey concluded, propping herself up with her elbows. “If you think that way, then you’re letting him win by allowing him to tarnish what we have.”

Ben didn’t think he could love her any more than he already did. He was wrong. “Did I ever tell you how wise you are beyond your years?”

Rey shook her head. “No. This would be the first time.”

“Did I ever tell you how much I love you for it?” Ben continued with a smile, reaching out to run his fingers through her silky hair once more.

“You do tell me you love me a lot. But...I like to be reminded from time to time.” Rey grinned at him impishly and batted her eyelashes at him—an unmistakable invitation. “How about you remind me right now?”

“I’d be happy to.” He grinned and began taking off his sweater.

* * *

A week had passed since the arbitration. A few days since Rey’s therapy session and Mitaka’s subsequent visit. A semblance of normalcy fell back in Alderaan Manor, with him going to work daily, Rey continuing with her homeschooling, and the servants going about their duties. There was of course, the new normal of Rey being clingy and wearing his shirts, though she was careful to do it in the privacy of her room or his. Sometimes, he thought he could actually smell her on his clothes.

The weekend finally arrived, and he was in his study, looking over some reports. He always did take work home with him, barely even resting but he made sure to give time for Rey, who seemed to be wanting his attention even more as of late. In fact, he had just come from making love to her, and had left her sleeping soundly in her room.

He stopped typing for a moment, a smile lighting his lips when he recalled what had happened earlier. Rey had been quite amorous, had even initiated, and later turned him into a blubbering mess. She had so much energy, that girl, and he wondered if he would still be able to keep up with her as the years passed. He wasn’t getting any younger after all...

Knocks echoed from the door to his study, and he instantly sat up straight, blushing as though he had been caught doing something naughty. “Come in.”

The door opened, and Threepio let himself in. Even from the relative distance between the door and his desk, Ben could still see that the old butler was anxious. “Forgive me for interrupting your work, Master Solo, but there are two detectives at the gate who wish to see you.”

“Detectives?” Ben repeated, his body growing still. Why would the police be looking for him? It wasn’t like he had committed a crime or anything.

Unless...

_Rey._

He swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, finding it almost painful to do so. “Did they say what they wanted to talk to me about?”

“No, sir. But they did say through the intercom that it was urgent.”

Ben grew quiet, his mind running a thousand miles a minute. He quickly grabbed his phone, his heart pounding as his finger hovered over Atty. Larma D’Acy’s number but he managed to stop himself. It wasn’t like he knew for sure that the detectives were there because of Rey. It would do no good to call D’Acy now until he was certain, which meant he was going to have to face the detectives first before contacting her.

Taking in a deep breath, he ordered Threepio to let them in, and the old butler promptly obeyed, leaving Ben alone in his study once more. He needed the time to calm himself first before the inevitable meeting with the cops.

Threepio returned moments later to tell him that the detectives were already waiting in the living room. Letting out a sharp breath, Ben stood up from his desk, straightened his shirt and put his phone in the pocket of his trousers. He had put D’Acy on speed dial just in case he needed to reach her right away.

With long strides, he walked out of his study, down the stairs and into the living room, where two men in their forties stood up at the sight of him, their graying hair combed back, their light suits impeccable.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen,” Ben greeted in a voice that was surprisingly steady, giving each man a firm handshake.

“Good afternoon, sir,” one of the detectives greeted back. “I’m Detective Wedge Antilles. And this here is my partner, Detective Biggs Darklighter. You’re Mr. Benjamin Solo, correct? Former employer of Ms. Maz Kanata?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” Ben nodded, his mouth suddenly running dry. Did Maz tell the police about him and Rey, even after she had covered for them during the arbitration? It didn’t make sense. Doing his best to remain calm, he asked, “Is something wrong?”

“I’m afraid so, sir,” Detective Antilles cleared his throat. “Ms. Kanata is dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From one incident to another. Maz is sadly dead.  
> Next chapter will deal with the loss of her. I haven't started writing it yet, as I will be very busy with work starting next week but I'll try to sneak in some writing during my down time and hopefully I get to post earlier this time around.
> 
> Thank you as always for reading guys and remember, comments are love so please sound off your thoughts in the comments section below. Will be waiting to interact with you guys. Thanks for sticking around!


	46. LOSS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey grieve for Maz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the lack of frequent updates guys. Normally I would've updated in 2-3 days but a colleague of mine suddenly upped and left and my boss gave all her tasks to me, so now I'm swamped with work. I don't think I'll see the end of this any time soon, so I'm afraid updates will not be as frequent. But don't worry, the story has been outlined so just gotta write it.
> 
> This is a pretty short chapter. I was supposed to combine it with the next one, but I rather liked how this one ended o even though it's short, I decided to stick with it. I hope you guys don't mind.

A few days passed before Ben and Rey travelled to Maz’s town, where a wake was being held for her at a local funeral parlor. Arrangements were made by Maz’s only living family, her sister, Lu Kanata. Though Maz had burial insurance, Ben had insisted on covering the rest of the costs, and only after much convincing did Lu Kanata agree.

The wake would last only a few hours before the funeral service later that afternoon. There was no body to view; not even a casket. Only an urn with Maz’s cremated ashes standing on a table beside a picture of her younger self. Surrounding the table at the front of the room was a variety of flowers. One in particular was an arrangement of lilies that Rey had insisted on paying from her own pocket.

There were only a few people in attendance—a few neighbors, the servants of Alderaan Manor and some friends Maz had made in town. Even Rey’s friends from Colossus High had come to pay their respects.

Ben turned his head from where he sat on the pew to look at Rey, who was still conversing with Kazuda and their other friends in the last row. She wore one of her lacy dresses—an all black ensemble with long sleeves and a long skirt that made her look like a grieving doll, while he had on an all black suit, complete with black tie and shoes. He had not worn this particular suit since Annabelle’s funeral. In fact, his wife’s had been the last funeral he had attended in the past decade or so, and though Maz was getting on in her years, he hadn’t expected her to die any time soon, and he certainly had not expected to find out the way he did.

The police had come because the death had initially been ruled as suspicious. Maz had been found alone in her cottage, the dining area a complete disarray of broken cups and plates, her body slumped on the floor, already decomposing after having been dead for over a week. That had explained why she hadn’t answered any of Ben’s calls or texts, and apparently it was the lack of communication from her that prompted her sister to visit her home, only to be met by the stench of death.

After finding her sister’s body, Lu had immediately called the police, and they had then launched an investigation, prompting the visit from the detectives to the manor a few days ago. Later however, medical reports indicated that Maz had died of a heart attack. Lu had a hard time accepting this, saying her sister had been in good health and had never had a history of heart ailments. The detectives on the case however, couldn’t find any evidence of foul play, and everyone they had visited had solid alibis. And so, with a heavy heart, Lu had agreed to call off the investigation and continue on with the wake and funeral.

All too soon, it was time to say a final goodbye to Maz. Lu Kanata spoke of the kindness of her departed sister, how she had acted more like a mother to her growing up and how she truly had everyone’s best interests at heart. Ben also said a moving tribute to Maz, who had been more than just a servant. She had been a second mother to him, and when it was Rey's turn, she spoke of the same, although she had a harder time keeping her voice steady than Ben did. Still, she managed to soldier on, only pausing to choke back a sob before letting the other people closest to Maz speak of her and their fond memories of her.

Once done, everyone got into their respective cars and drove to the cemetery for the burial. Ben offered for Lu to ride with them in the Benz, which she gratefully accepted.

The ride to the cemetery was quiet, punctuated only with Lu’s occasional sniffles. Ben would stare at the backseat through the rear view mirror to look at Rey, who was seated beside Lu Kanata, her hazel eyes on the urn Maz’s sister was carrying.

The burial itself happened quickly and without much fanfare, though with a lot of crying. Ben had had to put on sunglasses, and kept the tears from running down his cheeks with a handkerchief while Rey buried her sobs in his jacket. Ten or so years ago, he had only allowed her to hold on to a limp finger. Now he had her in his embrace, their bodies so close together they appeared as one, and they grieved as one for the woman who had cared for them both; the woman who had almost torn them apart but at the same time had done the things she did out of fierce love for them. Her absence in their lives would be felt more acutely, now that she was gone forever. There was no chance to thank her for all she had done for them. All they could do now was remember her, and all the good she had done.

The next few days in Alderaan Manor would be quiet, if not oppressive. A pall of sorrow lingered over the household, as was to be expected, Ben thought. They had lost someone who was practically family, and it was so sudden that it was hard to accept. Rey had a particularly difficult time, constantly needing Ben by her side to the point that he’d had to caution her against being too affectionate to him in front of the servants. They still had to keep their relationship a secret after all, but it did little to stop Rey from wanting his attention. This would have to come up in her next therapy session, he thought.

Then, there was the matter of Rey’s health. She wasn’t sick or anything. She was still eating. Rather ravenously, he thought, but at the same time, she was always tired. More than once, her tutors had informed him that she often slept through lessons, and was rather moody. She could still be grieving for Maz, he thought, but he made a mental note to bring her to Dr. Kalonia one of these days just to be sure, and to bring up the changes in her behavior to Dr. Ackbar.

* * *

Ben stayed up late in his study, reviewing reports on his computer which would be presented in a board meeting the next day. The late hour had been his only time to do so, being that Rey demanded his attention ever since he came home from work, and he really couldn’t say no to her. The only reason he had been able to leave for his study was because she grew very sleepy after dinner, and he’d had to help her up the stairs and into her room, tucking her into bed. They hadn’t made love in days, though they were together at almost all hours, simply talking and being with each other, often cuddling in bed and kissing, not really doing much of anything except bask in each other’s company. He liked it. Liked the domesticity of it all, though Rey’s being extra clingy worried him. Whether it was psychological or physiological, he would have to find out soon.

His phone suddenly rang, interrupting him from his work. Annoyed, he grabbed his phone from the desk and stared at the screen, only to raise an eyebrow. It was an unknown number. He contemplated not answering for a little while, but it might be important, and so he did, though not quite patiently.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Solo.”

Ben felt like a steel rod had been rammed down his spine as he snapped in attention in his chair. He knew that voice. Knew the deep darkness in it even though he had only talked to the man a few times.

“Snoke.” He almost hissed. “What do you want?”

“My, my...quite snappish, aren’t we, Mr. Solo?” the voice on the other end rumbled with a chuckle that made Ben’s blood boil.

“I’m busy,” he snapped. “And I don’t have anything more to say to a monster like you.”

“A monster?” Snoke drawled. “Mr. Solo, I’m no more a monster than you are. We’re both just men with...needs.”

“Don’t compare me to you,” Ben growled. “I’m nothing like you.”

Snoke laughed at this, and it was a breathy laugh that ascended to heights that made Ben’s blood run cold. “Oh, Mr. Solo...you’re more like me than you think. And I know this for a fact.”

Ben didn’t know why a lump had suddenly formed in his throat. “What do you want?”

“To talk. You and I have a lot to discuss in regards to my dear Reynabelle.”

“We have nothing more to talk about. You lost,” Ben spat. “She’s not yours nor will she ever be yours.”

“She’s mine!” Snoke thundered. “She was born from my loins. She should be with me!”

“Why? So you can rape her like you did your other daughter?” Ben demanded.

Snoke scoffed. “As if she’s doing any better with you.”

Ben’s brows met, his heart beginning to pound unpleasantly. “What do you mean by that?”

“You know very well what I mean, Mr. Solo.” Snoke’s voice was soft, yet menacing, hissing almost like a snake. “You and Reynabelle have a physical relationship, do you not?”

Ben swallowed hard. The man was bluffing, he thought. He couldn’t possibly know. There was no way, and so when he spoke, he spoke with conviction. “You really don’t know when to let go, do you? Look, let’s not waste any more of each other’s time. We’re already done with this, Snoke. I don’t have a physical relationship with my stepdaughter. We’ve already established that.”

Snoke let out a short, breathy laugh that made the hairs on the back of Ben’s neck stand on end, and the color drained away from his face with the man’s next words. “Then explain to me, Mr. Solo, why DNA tests show that you are the father of Reynabelle’s unborn child?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. There it is. People have been calling it left and right ever since I dropped clues. REY IS PREGNANT. (I'm not going to update the tags until the next update though, just to keep the surprise for incoming readers).
> 
> Clues: Her aversion to her favorite food in favor of Asparagus dishes / her vomiting on the plane / her constantly being tired / her wanting Ben's smell *this happened a lot to friends I know and even my sister, who would wear her husband's clothes because of his scent / her being extra clingy to Ben and wanting his attention all the time / her being moody among other things
> 
> So how did this happen? I've peppered previous chapters with clues as to how this could have happened despite all the precaution they took. In the end, they were careless. And now Snoke knows. How does he know? The clues have also been placed in previous chapters.
> 
> So what happens now? We shall see...
> 
> On a side note, what about that teaser trailer huh? It's been what's keeping me going through all the work I've been saddled with. I'm still on a high. December can't get here fast enough!
> 
> Again, thanks for reading guys. I hope you stick with me even though updates will not be as frequent as before. I will still not make you guys wait a month between updates though. Maybe a week. Thanks again for reading!


	47. EXPECTANT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes up and finds Ben at her doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I would like to thank emobubbles with all my heart for all her help with the next two chapters. I had been agonizing over it and she helped me work out the kinks in the story. So thank you very much emobubbles, for your insights, thoughts, reviews, your art and most especially your constant support in tumblr!
> 
> Secondly, I would like to apologize to everyone for my absence these past few weeks. I know you guys are used to updates every few days, but work got in the way of me doing frequent updates. As some of you know, a co-worker of mine suddenly left and I had to take on her tasks, which made me barely able to have time for fandom. But now that I've finished most of the big tasks, I now have time to be back in the fold of the reylo fandom so hopefully the next update won't take so long. I hope I didn't lose any of you guys in my long absence!
> 
> Last and certainly not the least, I would like to thank everyone for sticking by this fic, for your reviews and comments which helped spur me on. We're getting so close to the end now guys!
> 
> Oh, and I will be traveling between May 4th - May 6th for my nephew's baptism, so I don't know if I'll have internet signal where I'm going so I can update. So maybe at the earliest, we'll see an update on May 7th.
> 
> Thank you again everyone for reading! Now off you go and read :)

Rey gasped awake, taking in deep breaths as she blinked at the ceiling. Another vivid dream. She had been having them a lot lately, to the point that it sometimes woke her up from a deep sleep, which really grated on her nerves. She had been craving more sleep lately and any disturbance was unwelcome at all.

She turned to her side and checked on her phone for the time. It was only a little past nine. Ben was probably still working in his study. He usually didn’t go to her until around eleven, when everyone else in the house was asleep. She wanted to wait up for him but she was still so sleepy.

She put her phone back on the nightstand and curled under the covers. He would understand if she didn’t wait up for him. He always understood, and it was one of the many things she loved about him. She knew she had been a bit more demanding of his time and attention these past several weeks, and yet she hadn’t heard a single complaint from him; only smiles and an eagerness to please, which warmed her heart. Words just couldn’t express how much she loved that man, and in a few years, she would have the pleasure of calling him her husband.

That last thought brought a smile to her lips as she prepared to drift off to slumber, but she had barely closed her eyes when she heard her door softly open, the light from the hallway cutting through the dimness of her room.

She sat up and turned to see Ben, standing in the door way, his face hidden in the shadows. “Ben? Are you done with work?”

He didn’t respond. Only stepped inside and closed the door behind him, the latch clicking as he locked it.

Rey’s heart began to pound in anticipation as she watched his slow approach through the dim glow of her nightstand lamp. They hadn’t made love in days, and oh, she ached for him so.

She raised her arms to reach out for him, to take him into her arms or have her taken into his, but she froze when he reached her bedside.

Ben was crying.

“Ben?” She rose to her knees so her hands could reach his face, framing his tear-stained cheeks with her palms. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

He didn’t say anything. Only let out a shaky breath before leaning over to silently kiss her lips.

She pulled away almost immediately, still worried. “Ben, what’s the matter?”

“Shhh...” he shushed her before tenderly laying her down on the bed and crawling on top of her. “I just...I just really need you right now...”

“But Ben...”

“Please, Rey...” he begged and kissed her into silence.

Rey still couldn’t help but be concerned, even as she kissed him back. Ben rarely cried, but if this was how he needed her tonight, she wasn’t going to say no. He had done so much for her; done so much to comfort her when he needed her. It was only right she did the same.

And so she continued to kiss him, caressing his face and wiping away his tears as their lips collided and their moans and breaths mingled until they were left panting.

Ben, she noticed, barely put his weight on her; as though he were afraid he would crush her, and she had to lift her hips a little so she could feel him against her. He groaned into her mouth when she did this, and he pulled away from the kiss to pull up her cotton nightgown and suckle on her breasts. She cradled his head while he licked and nipped at her taut nipples, running her fingers through his long black hair and planting soft kisses atop his head, her fierce love for him blooming in her chest.

He was being particularly attentive tonight, she thought, his tongue swirling around her areolas and flicking her stiff peaks, lips clamping around her swollen breasts as his hand explored the inside of her panties, electrifying the bundle of nerves between her folds and making her slick. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head when he inserted two fingers inside of her, moving the digits in and out of her and stretching them within her while his thumb continued to rub her clit.

“B-Ben...”

“Rey...” He let go of her breasts and planted soft, wet kisses down her body, his lips lingering on her abdomen for a bit before he pulled his fingers away from her and freed her of her panties, his mouth instantly on her pussy.

She almost choked when she felt his tongue on her, her hips lifting a little to press her pussy into his face while her fingers curled around his scalp, her legs clamping around his head when he repeatedly flicked his tongue on a particular spot of her clit. She had to bite her lip to keep herself from moaning too loud, knowing full well that the house was still very much awake.

Still, Ben was relentless in his attentions, making her squeal and writhe on the bed when he once again inserted two fingers into her, all the while kissing and licking her already engorged clit. And as each ecstasy-filled moment passed, Rey realized he wanted her to come undone. It was obvious with his kisses, his licks, suckles and penetrations; obvious with the way he rubbed and caressed with attentiveness, repeating actions that caused her to moan the loudest.

And come undone she did, her whole body arching, seeming to freeze mid-air as pleasure shot through her nerves, leaving her a mess of muffled moans and incoherence. She fell back on the bed once more, mouth hanging open and exposed chest heaving with her heavy breaths as she watched Ben rise up to his knees and unbuckle his belt.

This would be the part when he took off all their clothes, she thought, but he surprised her when he simply let his pants pool around his knees, his hard cock peeking out from the bottom of his button shirt. He then gently maneuvered her until she was on all fours, nightgown pushed up to expose her to him. She felt rather than saw him position himself behind her, and she closed her eyes when she felt the blunt head of his cock slowly slide in between her folds, moving in deeper and deeper with each gentle thrust until he was fully inside of her, stretching her, completing her, and she was once more filled with awe at their closeness, at the absence of distance between them. They were truly one person at this moment, and she could feel the tenderness between them twinge at her heart.

“R-Rey...my Rey...”

He began to move, and it was in a slow, almost agonizing pace that left her wanting more. She could feel every contour of him, the length of him reshaping her insides with each unhurried and deep penetration, could feel his fingers dig into her hips as he moved her body back and forth on the bed, her hair swaying gently with his every thrust. He was controlling himself, she thought, each action deliberate and measured as though following the rhythm of a slow love song. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, relishing in the full feeling, the warmth of him, the girth and length of him, but soon she was left craving for more.

“Faster, Ben...” she urged, pushing back in quick succession to his hips, making him groan. “Faster, please...”

He seemed to hesitate for a beat, before he quickened his pace, though his movements were not frantic or fraught with passion. He was fast but still careful, and she wanted nothing more than to stop him from restraining himself.

She moaned louder and moved her hips back in time with her thrusts, clamping her inner muscles around him, causing him to curse. She smiled and repeated the same actions a few more times, taking the reins of their lovemaking when he gripped her hips and forced her to slow down.

“I want tonight to last, my love...” he rasped as he leaned over to kiss the side of her face and neck. “Let me make love to you. Let me make you feel all of me...”

Rey half-gasped, half-moaned when Ben started moving again, and she was left half in ecstasy and half in agony at his slow, torturous pace, each thrust accompanied by his groans of pleasure and whispers of love and affection. Her arms giving away, she buried her head and her moans on her pillow while Ben continued to penetrate her from behind, sometimes changing his angle to hit a spot that made her squeal.

They made love that way for a while longer when he suddenly and unexpectedly pulled out. She started to whine in frustration but he surprised her when he hurriedly, almost frantically rid her and himself of the rest of their clothes. Both of them now completely naked, he laid her on her side while he laid down behind her, her back flush against his broad, muscular chest as he lifted her leg and guided himself back into her heat, both of them moaning at their reunion.

“B-Ben...oh, Ben...”

“I’ve got you...I’ve got you, my love...” He held her close, one arm snaking underneath and around her to cup and squeeze her breast while the other held her leg up as he continued to enter her, still so slow, still so deep that he seemed to touch the very core of her being.

Soon finding a rhythm, and quickening his pace much to Rey’s delight, Ben let go of her leg to begin stimulating her clit once more, his other hand kneading her breast before moving up to turn her face towards him, their lips and tongues meeting in a hungry kiss. Rey rolled her hips and moved along with Ben’s thrusts, alternating between impaling herself on him and thrusting her clit against his strumming fingers. She was feeling so much, too much all at once—his girth, his length, the warmth of his skin against hers, the hard planes of his chest against her back, his wet lips, his hot breaths. And yet, it all didn’t seem enough.

“More...” she pleaded, continuing to roll and grind her hips against his pelvis. “More, Ben...”

This time, Ben did as she asked. With one hand holding her against him and the other holding her leg up once more, exposing her, he began pistoning inside her in quick yet deep thrusts, her slick walls swelling and clamping around him. She was beginning to flutter, and she could feel that all too familiar pressure in her tummy building up more and more, pushing her to even greater heights until she fell, and she called out Ben’s name at her orgasm, just as he cried out her name with his.

Once their climax subsided, Rey lay limp on the bed, taking in open-mouthed breaths. She could feel Ben’s chest behind her heaving as he panted, could feel his lips tender against her neck as he continued to hold her to him, still not pulling out, still not letting her go. And she didn’t want him to. If she could stay with him for longer, she would, if only to be connected with him for a little while more, to be one with him for a little while longer.

After a few moments, he softened and pulled out, leaving Rey to sigh before he turned her around to face him, enveloping her in his arms and tucking her head beneath his chin.

“I love you, Ben...” she murmured, feeling herself grow drowsier with each passing moment. She heard him whisper ‘I love you' back, but she didn’t hear him sob as she drifted off into dreams; didn’t hear him repeatedly apologize through tears; didn’t feel him move down to plant a tender kiss on her belly; nor did she feel the one last kiss he left on her lips before he lifted himself away from the bed.

* * *

Ben’s eyes were still red-rimmed as he made his way to his Lexus, adjusting his jacket around him as he slipped inside the driver’s seat. It was a particularly cold night, and he felt it acutely especially after the warmth he had shared with Rey earlier.

A warmth that might soon be out of his grasp.

He put a hand over his mouth to keep himself from sobbing. Rey was pregnant. He had wanted to deny it, to think Snoke was bluffing but as he thought back to Rey’s unusual vomiting in the plane, her increase in appetite and exhaustion, the changes in her eating and sleeping habits...it all lined up, and he agonized over how it could have happened when they had taken almost every precaution. Did the morning after pills not work? Her birth control pills? Did the condom break? He would probably never know. In the end, they had been careless. _He_ had been careless. And now, Rey was expecting a child. _Their_ child.

Ben wiped away the onslaught of fresh tears. News that should have been happy for couples in love was instead overwhelming him with sorrow and dread. She was too young for this. He had completely ruined her and he didn’t even have the courage to tell her. What was worse was that the news had come from Snoke of all people.

And now Snoke wanted to meet him. To strike a deal with him.

Ben put both hands on the steering wheel, took a deep breath and slowly eased the car out of the property. No one knew where he was going. That had been one of Snoke’s stipulations for their meeting tonight: no cops, no lawyers, no bringing anyone else, and no one should know of their meeting or else he would send what he found out to the nearest news outlet that would run the story. Ben had tried to negotiate for the meeting to occur at another time but Snoke wouldn’t have it, insisting that they meet later that night.

As Ben drove, he wondered what kind of deal Snoke wanted. He had his cheque book ready. He was prepared to pay the man off with as much as he wanted, but he also remembered Snoke saying money wasn’t important to him. So what kind of deal did the old man want? He wasn’t going to blackmail him into giving up custody of Rey, was he? He probably would, Ben thought bitterly. Snoke was going to try that angle for sure, but there was no way in hell he was giving up Rey, especially knowing the man had raped her mother and fathered her. Snoke probably knew that he wouldn’t give up Rey, so what deal did he want to strike? All this and more went through Ben’s head, and he had grown so paranoid that he actually brought a gun with him.

He reached down into his pocket to make sure the revolver was still there. The gun had once belonged to his father, and he had no intention of using it to kill anyone, not even this monster who was blackmailing him. He had brought the gun as a precaution, and perhaps even as a desperate negotiation tactic. He could threaten Snoke with it, he thought. Threaten him to give up the documents, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt himself quiver with fear. He hoped it wouldn’t get to that. Or for things to go south. The last thing he needed was blood on his hands, even Snoke’s.

After a long, silent drive, Ben finally reached his destination—a large, old-fashioned three-story gray house in a rather affluent neighborhood. The house itself looked nice, but he knew the horrors that had gone on in there over the years, adding to the sinister feel around it. Rey...she could have lived in this house. Could have gone through the same vile things Annabelle did had she not escaped. And if he failed at this...transaction tonight, Rey may very well be living in this horrid place. The thought sickened him, and at the same time bolstered his courage.

His jaw clenched when he saw Snoke emerge from the front door in a suit and trench coat, carrying what looked like a manila folder in his hand. Ben faced forward and waited for the man to enter the vehicle, and when Snoke slipped into the passenger seat, he found his hand inching towards the revolver in his pocket.

Now was his chance, he thought. Threaten Snoke while they were still at his house, where he could still have the old man release the documents to him. After that he and Rey could run away, maybe to a country without extradition treaties. He had even already come up with a list, though he would have to work out the logistics of it all. He would have to move fast. Act fast if he were to set this plan in motion. And so, with a shaky hand, he reached in for his gun, slowly taking it out of his pocket.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Ben froze at the malice in Snoke’s voice. And when he turned, he found himself staring into the barrel of a .45 magnum, Snoke sneering at the end of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually the last smut of the story. And now Ben's life is in danger. What's going to happen next? It's going to be a doozy next chapter.
> 
> Thanks again for reading guys! As always, don't hesitate to comment, subscribe and bookmark. I'll see you in the next update!


	48. FIRE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoke threatens Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back guys! Back from my nephew's baptismal in the province/country side. Sadly, I got sick coming back but that's not gonna keep me from updating the story. So here you go!

Ben had never known fear such as this; he had faced death before, when he tried to kill himself but that had been on his own terms. To have his life threatened like this, to look inside the dark barrel of a killing weapon drained him of all the courage he had mustered up earlier.

“Give it to me,” Snoke snarled, one gloved hand aiming the magnum at Ben’s head, the other held open. “Take whatever it is in your pocket and give it to me. No funny business.”

Ben swallowed and gingerly took out the revolver, pitifully small compared to Snoke’s gun. Still, his finger twitched over the trigger as fight or flight instincts warred within him. He was younger, faster. He could just turn, pull the trigger and...

Snoke cocked his gun, and whatever plan Ben had in mind instantly dissipated. “Give it to me!”

Gritting his teeth, Ben handed over his gun, and Snoke quickly pocketed it, smirking as he did. “Good boy. Now, drive.”

“Where are we going?” Ben was surprised that his voice was so calm, even though inside him was a maelstrom of emotions.

“Oh don’t worry. I’ll give you directions.” Snoke pressed the gun against the side of Ben’s head, making him wince. “Drive, Mr. Solo.”

Ben nodded and drove off, for the first time cursing that the Lexus had tinted windows. Now no one would be able to see what was going on in the car.

After a minute, Snoke eased back in his seat, lowering the gun but keeping it pointed at Ben. “Take us to the freeway.”

Ben did as he was told, though he made sure to drive slowly. Wherever Snoke was taking him, it couldn’t be good.

He decided to repeat his question. “Where are we headed?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” was Snoke’s answer. Ben waited for him to say something more, but he didn’t, and the silence was eating away at him, making him even more afraid than he already was. He didn’t know what else Snoke was capable of, but if he could get the man to talk...

“How did you find out?” Ben asked, his eyes darting momentarily to the manila folder on Snoke’s lap. “About Rey’s pregnancy?”

“DNA testing is a marvel of technology,” Snoke commented. “It can unearth truths that are otherwise hidden. While it destroyed my case, it inevitably gave me arsenal against you. Take the next left.”

Ben turned the car to the left and waited for Snoke to elaborate on what he meant.

The man didn’t disappoint. “After Maz Kanata initially hinted that you and Reynabelle have an intimate relationship, I took a risk and had the testing facility run more than just paternity tests. I had them do a prenatal paternity test too, and with her blood sample and your cheek swab, we were able to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is pregnant with your child.”

A car honked behind the Lexus but Ben refused to increase speed, eventually leaving the other driver to overtake the car. He needed to stall as much as he could, to keep Snoke talking as much as he could. “If you had that information all along, that I got Rey pregnant, why didn’t you bring it up in the arbitration?”

Snoke shook his head as though he were sad, patting the manila folder which Ben was now sure contained the DNA paternity results. “Unfortunately, I had procured these test results through...less than legal means.” Bribery was the first thing that came to Ben’s mind. “It would never have been admissible, but the newspapers will have a field day of this.”

“Is that your plan?” Ben questioned, his mind now reeling at the possibility of them heading towards either a newspaper outlet or a TV news station. “To bring those documents to the media? Ruin my reputation? Get me arrested?”

Snoke smirked. “I have thought about doing that, giving an anonymous tip to the authorities and the media...ruin your life without so much as lifting a finger, but where’s the fun in that?”

Ben gave Snoke a confused look. “Fun?”

“I’m a hands-on man, Mr. Solo,” Snoke admitted, tapping the butt of the gun against his knee. “I like to get my hands dirty. Just like when I took Kanata out of the picture.”

“Maz.” Ben’s eyes widened as realization and horror dawned on him. “You killed Maz.”

“It was easy enough with her,” Snoke spoke with what Ben could only deem as pride in his voice, and he felt his stomach churn in revulsion with the man’s next revelation. “I visited her for tea with the guise of updating her on the results of the arbitration. All I had to do was slip something in her drink once she had her back turned.”

Ben felt his heart pound wildly against his rib cage. He was scared out of his wits but he knew he had to stay calm. Keep Snoke talking. Distract him enough while he thought up of a plan to escape. “So...you intend to kill me.”

Snoke snorted. “Why do you think I brought a gun, Mr. Solo?”

“And those documents?” Ben asked, eyeing the manila folder again. “You intend to tarnish my reputation after I’m dead?”

Snoke’s lips curled up in a smirk, his scar stretching to an even more grotesque shape. “Good, Mr. Solo. You’re starting to think like me.”

“Why go through all this trouble, though?” Ben pursued, still driving slowly. “You could’ve just invited me to your place and had me drink something. Why a gun?”

“Because you’re special, Mr. Solo. And for the special ones, I like to use the cruelest stroke.”

Special ones. Plural. Had Snoke killed others too? “How many special ones have you encountered?”

“Curious are we?” Snoke raised a pale eyebrow and paused for a bit before continuing. “That would include the parents of my departed wife, Rachelle. She was thirteen, the perfect age, when I killed her parents and took her for myself. Didn’t take me long to mold her into what I wanted until she became my wife at sixteen and bore me my beautiful daughter Annabelle.” Snoke paused again and lowered his head as if in regret, though Ben didn’t believe the man could feel such an emotion. “Sadly, my wife and I had an...altercation which led to her accident, leaving me to take out my...needs...on Annabelle, who of course, as we all know, bore me another beautiful daughter, Reynabelle.”

Anger seeped in along with fear, and Ben had to breathe through his lips to keep himself calm and collected. “You know you’ll never get Rey, right? My lawyer will make sure of that.”

“Oh, Mr. Solo. Haven’t you been listening to me?” Snoke shook his head, seeming to feign pity on him. “I don’t need to have legal custody of Rey to take her. I am not above taking these little women against their will. And I will have her. I always get whatever I want in the end. Why do you think you’re here?”

Ben’s anger grew as he lapsed into silence. He was angry with Snoke, but most of all, he was angry with himself. He had wholly underestimated this old man, the absolute malice in his soul. He had fallen for the man’s schemes and put himself and Rey in danger. And now, there didn’t seem to be a way out.

“My Annabelle and my Reynabelle are so alike in so many ways, don’t you think?” Snoke asked when Ben remained quiet. “They could pass for twins. Like mother like daughter—fucking their fathers and getting knocked up...”

“I’m not Rey’s father,” Ben was quick to point out. “I’m not a sick fuck like you.”

“Oh? You think you’re a cut above me just because you’re not blood related?” Snoke cackled. “You may think you have the moral high ground, but you are still fucking a fourteen-year-old. Still impregnated her. At least I waited to get Annabelle pregnant, at an age when she could safely deliver a child.”

Ben’s eyes widened once more. “You...you got Annabelle pregnant on purpose?”

Snoke had the audacity to chuckle. “I’m not an idiot like you are, Mr. Solo. Annabelle...beautiful as she was, was no longer as youthful as she had once been.”

“She was only nineteen!”

“Still older. I was hoping she would bear me another daughter, like her mother before her. Only Annabelle and I had a falling out once she realized she was pregnant and what I had intended.”

“Falling out?” Ben repeated. This time, he was unable to control his voice. “You were raping her! She defended herself against you!”

Snoke waved the gun as if to dismiss the notion. “Doesn’t matter. Anyway, Annabelle found herself with you before I could get to her. You, a rich and powerful man. I admit, I couldn’t touch you, or her. So I kept my distance. Bid my time and kept tabs on you and your little family. I invested where you invested. Became a benefactor of Raddus Hall because you were too. I waited until Reynabelle was the perfect age. The day we bumped into each other at Raddus Hall was the day I asked Holdo for your contact information but she wouldn’t give it to me. It was Fate that I encountered you two that day, and oh, Reynabelle was just gloriously perfect. So young and ripe for the taking.”

Ben tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his foot involuntarily pressing against the accelerator but he managed to get a hold of himself. He had to keep his wits about him. He couldn’t let this man get to him.  

“It’s just too bad she is no longer a virgin,” Snoke continued with a shrug. “But she’s still young. I can still mold her. And who knows, she might be carrying a daughter that I can play with.”

“You sick, sick fuck!” Ben snapped and stepped on the breaks so abruptly, they would both have hit their heads on the steering wheel and dashboard had they not been wearing their seatbelts. “Don’t you dare touch Rey or my child! I’m going to kill you!”

Snoke lifted the magnum to Ben’s temple again. “You’re not the one with the gun, Mr. Solo. Now, take the next road to the right.”

Ben breathed heavily, gripped the steering wheel and drove again. It was then that he realized they were heading for the outskirts of the city, more likely towards the cliffs by the sea. He had driven by there a few times before, and it was an isolated place. Snoke could just easily dump his body over the cliffs and no one would be able to find him.

Fear returned to assuage his anger, and after a few minutes, he was able to speak calmly. “You knew you would lose the case. You knew there was a high chance that DNA tests would prove that Rey is your daughter. That you raped Annabelle. Why did you continue with the arbitration?”

“I needed to be absolutely sure she was mine,” Snoke answered. “And you put me into a corner with the arbitration. It was the only way I could get her to do a DNA test not just to prove she’s my daughter, but also to prove that she was pregnant. Fortunately it all worked out for me in the end because now, your mistake, your carelessness got you were I wanted. Take the next right.”

Ben turned the car to the next right, now certain that Snoke was taking him to the cliffs. There were fewer cars now and he knew that soon, he would be driving through lonely roads, to the cliffs and away from help.

“I must admit, Mr. Solo. I am a little sad to see you go.” There it was again. An obviously feigned attempt at sadness and regret on Snoke’s part. “I see a lot of myself in you. We are a lot alike, you and I. We’re both monsters.”

Ben swallowed. “You’re right.”

“Hmm?” Snoke cocked an eyebrow.

“I am a monster.” Ben bit his lip and shook his head, his thoughts filled with what could have been and what should not have been. “I should never have looked at Rey the way I did. I should never have touched a mere child like her.”

“Regrets, I see.” Snoke nodded like he understood. “That’s normal. People who know they are close to death often wallow in regret.”

“But you know what I don’t regret, Snoke?”

Snoke looked up, both brows raised.

“I don’t regret loving Rey.” Ben smiled forlornly, his thoughts now drifting off to Rey—her smile, her bright hazel eyes, her innocence, her zest for life, her tenderness, kindness, all the happiness he had felt with her these past several months. “I love her with all my heart and soul. And I don’t regret a minute of my life that I spent by her side.”

Snoke scoffed mockingly. “Sentiment is for the foolish.”

“I _am_ a fool,” Ben admitted, and with the car still running, turned and began fighting for the gun.

Snoke was clearly taken by surprise, but his grip on the gun was firm. What followed next was a tug of war, Ben pummeling Snoke’s arm with a fist, Snoke scratching and clawing at him with a gloved hand while their other hands wrestled for control of the gun. The car weaved all over the road, causing the few cars to honk their horns. Ahead, a tunnel loomed closer, and beyond that, the cliffs.

A shot rang out. The dashboard compartment in front of the passenger seat had been hit. For a moment, Ben was left in a bit of a daze, the magnum’s recoil and the loud bang having nearly knocked both him and Snoke but soon, the fight for the gun commenced. Snoke was surprisingly strong for his age, and was able to turn the gun on Ben.

Snoke pulled the trigger, his back hitting the car door from the recoil.

Ben shouted as blood gushed from the side of his head, pain lancing through his skull. But he was still awake. Foot pressing hard against the accelerator, he grabbed for the gun once more, just as the Lexus skidded sideways, the passenger’s side hitting the tunnel wall at top speed.

The last thing Ben remembered was seeing his Lexus on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger ending. This story has a lot of that I know. As for the next chapter, it's already outlined but I need to figure out a few things about it so might take me a while before I post that.
> 
> Thank you as always for your support guys! Only two chapters left before everything wraps up. We'll see how it all ends soon. Thank you for reading!


	49. FAREWELL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey says her goodbyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'm so sorry for making you guys wait more than a month for updates. I struggled mightily with writer's block but thanks to your support as well as the help of others, I'm finally able to present to you an update. This is the second to the last chapter, but the final chapter has already been written too. Which means you don't have to wait long for another update.
> 
> Now let's get you guys reading...

_One month later..._

_Rey approaches the grave cautiously, her eyes never leaving the tombstone as she gingerly places the bouquet of lilies before it._

_She rises to her feet once more and idly wipes a thin film of dust from the top of the stone. She makes a mental note to have this cleaned and looked after, maybe have someone pull out the weeds.  She can probably do it herself, but not right now. Not in her condition._

_With a shaky breath, she steps back and moves her hazel eyes over the words engraved on the black marble. A lot of things have happened the past year; some pleasant and memorable, others frightening and painful. The worst of it happened weeks ago, and she will never forget that feeling of utter helplessness as she cried within those hospital walls, ravaged by fright and despair..._

* * *

One month ago...

Rey knew something was wrong the moment Threepio knocked on her door late that night. He never did that. Ever. And she panicked even more when she saw that she was alone in bed.

Ben was gone.

When the old butler told her of the accident, she had immediately thrown one of Ben’s large shirts over her long cotton nightgown and demanded to be driven to the hospital immediately. Artoo was quick to drive her there, where she was informed of Ben’s critical condition. He had lost so much blood from the bullet that had grazed the side of his head, nicking an artery, and the doctors were now fighting to save his life. Had his airbag not triggered, he wouldn’t have made it. Luckily there had been enough people who saw the accident and pulled him out of the Lexus before it burst into flames.

The other passenger, Abraham Snoke, wasn’t so lucky. His airbag had not deployed, killing him instantly, his body and everything else with it burned almost beyond recognition.

Rey sat on a chair in the waiting area near the operating room, one leg bouncing as she wrung her hands together. It was three in the morning now, and Artoo had gone to get her some food and coffee for himself. She was the only one sitting in the rows of chairs, alone save for a few nurses at the nurses’ station nearby. She had brought her phone with her, but she was much too distraught to even think of passing the time fiddling with it. Instead, her mind went through her conversations with the police earlier. She had told them everything she knew about Abraham Snoke, how he had wanted to take custody of her as her biological grandfather (she left out the part that he was her father too), and the cops had then surmised that that must’ve been the cause of a possible altercation in the car between Snoke and Ben. There was a magnum recovered from the scene which was registered to Snoke, and in the old man’s pocket was a small handgun registered to Ben. Taking this into account as well as Ben’s bullet wound, the officers concluded that Snoke was the gunman, though they would probably have to wait for Ben to wake up and make an official statement.

 _If_ he woke up.

Rey shook her head and chastised herself. She shouldn’t be pessimistic about this, she thought. She had to think positive. Ben had so much to live for. He had her. He knew she still needed him. Loved him. Couldn’t live without him. He was going to fight and he was going to get through this and be back in her arms again.

A stubborn tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away before looking down on her ring finger, the engagement ring sparkling under the fluorescent lamp. Somehow, this comforted her. Bolstered her confidence that Ben would make it. They were engaged to be married in less than four years time. Ben was going to make it.

He had to.

Rey heard the door to the operating room burst open, and she immediately rushed to see what was going on. What she found was what she assumed to be a nurse, still in her bloodied scrubs, rushing to the nurse’s station. Rey followed close behind.

“Doctor Kallus says we need more blood,” the nurse said breathlessly to a fellow nurse. “AB negative compatible, stat.”

“Rare,” the other nurse commented and reached for the phone. “I’ll make some calls.”

“Excuse me,” Rey ventured into the conversation, making both nurses look at her. “Is this blood for Benjamin Lucas Solo?”

The nurse in the bloodied scrubs eyed her up and down. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Reynabelle Eliza Snoke. I’m Ben’s fi...stepdaughter,” Rey quickly corrected herself. “How is he? Is he alright?”

It took a moment for the nurse to respond, and she did so with drooped shoulders. “He’s still fighting. But we need more blood. His is a pretty rare blood type. AB negative. Do you happen to know of anyone with that blood type? Or at least an O negative, A negative or B negative?”

“I’m a B negative,” Rey said, shoulders squared as she recalled her blood type. Growing up sickly had informed her well of her medical history. “And I’m willing to donate.”

The nurse stared at her again, eyes narrowed before saying, “Sorry, sweetie. Only those sixteen years and above can donate blood.”

“I’m sixteen.” The lie was quick to roll off her tongue. The nurses seemed incredulous, and Rey unconsciously rose a little on her tiptoes. “I am. And I’m used to needles.”

The nurses looked at each other for a moment before the one behind the counter sighed and presented Rey with a few sheets of paper on a clipboard along with a ballpoint pen. “Okay, dear. Here’s a donor questionnaire. Please read everything carefully, answer truthfully and submit this to me once you’re done along with the necessary requirements. And if you can contact other potential donors, that would be great. We’ll also do our best to get blood for your stepfather, okay?”

Rey nodded quietly and took the questionnaire before walking over to sit in the waiting area again, just as Artoo came back with food and drinks. Rey asked him to make some calls for donors while she answered the questionnaire. The food would have to wait.

Artoo left again to find a place with better signal, leaving Rey alone once more. Her gaze breezed through the questionnaire, and already, some of the items and requirements were making her feel dejected. They required an ID to verify her age, and even if she did have her passport on her, it would instantly make her ineligible to donate. Then there was her medical history, which didn’t bode well for her eligibility but as she continued to read through the questionnaire, one question caught her eye:

_In the last 6 months have you been pregnant? (female donors)_

Rey hovered the pen over the _NO_ box. She wasn’t pregnant. She wasn’t. She had only started sleeping with Ben more or less three months ago. They had taken every precaution they could and she wasn’t late…

Wait.

Rey’s eyes widened at the realization, the pen slipping from her fingers and falling to the floor, the sound seeming to reverberate through the hospital walls louder than it should.

She was late. She hadn’t had her period since…

Rey put a hand over her heart, willing it to slow even as her breaths came out in short gasps. The last time she had her period was when she was still living with Maz. Before she and Ben started making love. Which meant…

She swallowed hard and breathed through her lips until she found some semblance of control. Setting aside the questionnaire, she approached the nurse’s station again and asked for directions to the hospital pharmacy.

* * *

Tears blurred Rey’s vision to the point that she could barely make out the two blazing red lines on the pregnancy kit she had purchased from the pharmacy.

There was no denying it. She was _pregnant_.

With a shaky hand, she closed the lid of the toilet seat and sat on it, tossing the pregnancy kit to the trash before putting her arms around her shoulders, sobbing as she rocked herself back and forth. She was pregnant. Pregnant at _fourteen_. Pregnant with _Ben_ ’s baby. And Ben…he was dying…

She sobbed harder, tears running down her cheeks and dribbling down her chin. She hugged Ben’s shirt around her but his scent provided little comfort. What was she going to do? She was too young for this. Too young to be a mother. She should have been more careful. She should have kept a closer eye on her periods but she had been too lost in Ben’s arms, too in love to care. She should have known there would be consequences.

She cried. She cried and cried until she could barely see through swollen eyes. She was pregnant and the love of her life was dying. And she was completely at a loss for what to do.

Then, came a brief moment of clarity. She didn’t have to go through this, she thought. There were…solutions to this predicament. And if Ben were here, he would agree. She was too young. He would want her safe. And healthy. He wouldn’t want her to go through with it.

But as quickly as that thought came, another arrived; a thought of the only person she knew to have most likely gone through the same maelstrom of emotions she was going through: her own mother, Annabelle.

Fresh tears stung Rey’s eyes, and she sobbed anew. Annabelle had it worse. She may have been five years older than her at the time, but she had been forced to bear her own father’s child—a child born out of a heinous crime. And yet Annabelle chose to keep the baby. Chose to keep _her_. To escape with her and bring her into a better life than what she would have been born in to.

Still sobbing, Rey found herself putting a hand over her belly. This…this baby inside of her may have been born out of carelessness, but it was born out of love—the love between her and Ben. She...no.  If she were to lose Ben then…she couldn’t lose their baby too.

_Their baby._

Rey unexpectedly let out a short laugh through her tears, her hand now caressing her still flat abdomen. She felt something inside her awaken—something fierce and maternal, and she was suddenly bombarded with images of her and Ben, all smiles as they held their son or daughter in their arms. She would do her best to be the best mother she could be. And Ben…he had always wanted a family of his own. He would make a great father.

Ben…

Wiping her tears away, Rey exited the comfort room and hurried back to the waiting area by the operating room. She had to tell Ben the news. Then they would talk about it. They would make a decision together, though she was already leaning towards one way, and she found herself hoping Ben would agree with her. She had to talk to him. She had to…

She stopped in her tracks. A doctor was talking to Artoo. Upon seeing her, the chauffeur pointed at her, and the doctor quickly walked towards her. And when he said what he had to say, the tears Rey thought had dried up came back full force.

 

* * *

_Present day…_

  _Rey wipes a stray tear from the corner of her eye before lowering her hand to caress her belly. She is starting to show now, though with her coats and sweaters, the swell of her tummy isn’t very visible. In a few more months, however, it will be, which is why she came to the cemetery. To stand before this grave. She needs to say her goodbyes while she still can._

_“Rey?”_

_She turns and smiles as Ben limps towards her, a crutch on one arm to support his broken leg, a bouquet of lilies in his free hand. He has scars now, one running down the side of his face where glass from the car window cut him up, and another at the side of his head were the bullet from Snoke’s gun grazed him, partially severing an artery and almost killing him had help not arrived on time. Still, despite the scars, to her, he is as handsome as ever._

_Rey hurries to Ben’s side and helps him to the grave, before taking the flowers in his hand and setting it beside the bouquet she brought. Once done, she stands up and entwines her fingers with Ben’s as they look towards the grave._

Annabelle Elizabeth Solo  
Mother & Wife  
Gone but not Forgotten

_“How’s the little one?” Ben asks, caressing her knuckle with a thumb._

_“Asleep, I think,” Rey answers, pressing herself against Ben’s side. “Although, he was making a fuss before you came.”_

_He looks down at her and smiles. “You think it’s a he?”_

_She smiles back. “Let’s just say I have a feeling. We’ll know for sure next month, but it doesn’t matter whether it’s a he or a she, just as long as he or she is healthy.”_

_“Yes. We’ll make sure of that.” Ben squeezes her hand before looking at the grave again. Rey notices his eyes growing misty. “Sometimes…sometimes I still can’t believe how lucky I am. To have this life. To have you by my side. That part, I have to thank your mother for. She made the choice to save you.” He pauses for a moment, then turns to her and says, “To be honest, I’m still not sure if this is the right decision…keeping the baby, I mean. But I can see why you made that choice. I suppose that’s another thing I have to thank Annabelle for. She may have caused me grief in life. At times even from beyond the grave, but in the end, she gave me you. She gave me a family.”_

_“She gave me you, too,” Rey reminds him, and tugs gently at his hand, pulling him down for a kiss. He smiles as their lips meet chastely, and he pulls back, leaving her warmed from the sheer love shining in his eyes._

_“Come,” he says. “We still have a flight to catch.”_

_Rey nods, and with one last look at Annabelle’s grave and a whispered ‘Thank you’ under her breath, she turns and walks hand in hand with Ben towards their waiting car, and towards a new life together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I didn't give anyone a heart attack. It's not a dream. We get a happy ending for our couple, however insurmountable the odds may have been. They're together now, and they will start a whole new life.
> 
> You may ask what else is in store now? We have one more chapter left. A glimpse into their lives. And I hope you guys will stay tuned for that. I won't take long to update, I promise.
> 
> I could honestly have ended the whole story here, but I know you guys, just as I do, need that one extra tidbit so I will give it to you in a few days.
> 
> I will save my farewells for later. I'm getting choked up just thinking about this fic ending. I'll save the tears until then. Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> FYI: The age to donate blood in the States is 17, 16 if with parental consent. I just changed it to 16 for the fic's purposes since Rey can't pass for 17, but can possibly pass for 16.


	50. DAWN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey wake up to a new day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys. It's the final chapter. I'll save my goodbyes in the end notes.

Sunlight poured in through the window, tickling his eyes awake. With a yawn, Ben stretched in bed, groaning when he felt his joints crick. He was feeling his age. Had been feeling it for a while, but one look at the woman on his bedside instantly wiped the years off his face and replaced it with a wide, youthful smile.

Rey. His wife. Still sleeping beside him, looking ever angelic in her white cotton nightgown, the swell of her belly protruding from beneath the blanket.

Careful so as not to wake her, he peeled the blanket off a little to put his palm on her tummy. He could feel the baby start to move around, clearly ready to start the day. In a few more weeks, the little one would be joining them. And he would be there for Rey just as he had been there for her before.

Three small knocks reverberated from the door, and Ben’s smile widened as he sat up from bed, straightened his shirt and said, “Come in.”

A head of dark waves poked through the crack of the door, hazel eyes staring back at him before the small face flashed a toothy grin. “Good morning, Papa. Is Mama awake?”

“She’s still asleep,” Ben said in a voice barely above a whisper and scooted over to make space between him and Rey before patting the mattress. “Come to bed, Lucas.”

Lucas grinned even wider and bounded into the room in his too big pajamas, climbing up in bed and slipping in between his parents. Gently, he placed his little hands on his mother’s stomach, and Ben observed the boy’s eyes sparkle. “I can feel her moving.”

“Yup. Little Annie’s eager to meet her big brother.” Ben put a hand on Rey’s stomach again and felt his heart swell at the little flutters against his palm. “It won’t be long now.”

“Did I move a lot too when I was in Mama’s tummy?” Lucas asked, looking up at his father.

“A lot, a lot.” Ben nodded. “You were very energetic even before you were born.”

“And even more energetic now that you’re almost turning seven,” spoke a soft, sleepy voice. Surprised, Ben turned to Rey and found her awake and smiling at him.

“Mama’s awake!” Lucas declared. “Good morning, Mama.”

“Good morning, honey,” Rey greeted back and sat up so she could kiss her son’s forehead before leaning over to kiss her husband on the lips. Ben almost laughed at the look on Lucas’s face when he and Rey kissed.

“Yuck!” the boy stuck his tongue out and shuddered. “Why do you guys have to kiss?”

“Because we love each other, that’s why.” Ben reached out to ruffle his son’s mop of dark hair—soft and silky, just like his, though the boy’s was shorter. He kept his long to hide the scar at the side of his head. “You’ll understand when you grow up, and you find the love of your life just like I did.”

“How did you and Mama meet?” Lucas asked. It was an innocent question, but one that had Ben and Rey looking at each other, not without alarm. The boy had never asked that question before, but Ben knew it was inevitable that he would.

Before he could come up with a story, Rey quickly came to the rescue.

“We’ll tell you when you’re older. But don’t you grow up too fast, Lucas,” she chided jokingly and pulled the boy into her arms, planting a loud kiss on his cheek. “You’re still my little boy.”

“I’m a big boy now,” Lucas protested with a giggle. “I’m going to be a big brother, so I’m a big boy.”

“That you are,” Ben agreed with a grin, and shifted closer so he could wrap his arms around his little family.

 _Family_ , he thought as he felt his heart soar, even more so when Rey turned to him, hazel eyes sparkling with adoration, and he leaned down to give her another kiss on the lips.

“Let’s go and have breakfast,” Ben said, and slipped out of bed, before walking around it to help Rey off the mattress. “I’m cooking.”

“I’ll help!” Lucas jumped off of bed and hurried to the door before stopping. “What should I prepare, Papa?”

“Get the potatoes and bacon out of the fridge. Start peeling the potatoes,” Ben instructed as he and Rey exited the room. “Use the peeler, and be careful okay?”

“Yes, sir!” Lucas did a mock salute and hurried to the kitchen. Ben turned to his side and found his wife padding out the front door as she always did in the mornings. He followed her outside to the porch and embraced her from behind, his lips on her chestnut hair as they watched the sun rise on the distant snow-capped mountains, the rays making the ripples of the nearby lake sparkle.

“I’ll never get tired of this view,” Rey murmured, leaning her back against Ben’s chest. “This is all so breathtaking.”

“Do you miss it though?” he whispered into her hair. “Alderaan Manor? The States?”

“Sometimes. And I do still miss the servants, especially Threepio and Artoo,” she admitted. “But home is where the heart is. And this is home. With you. With Lucas. And soon, with Annie.”

Ben smiled and hugged Rey just a little bit tighter before once more putting a hand over her heavily pregnant belly. Rey had had a hard time with her first pregnancy, and had difficulties after Lucas was born but Ben was with her, supporting her all the way while at the same time doing his best to find his feet as they started a new life with her in a different country—one with no extradition treaties should the authorities find out about their relationship. So far, they had been lucky. Except for a few raised eyebrows at his sudden decision to resign from the company, sell his mansion and move to Europe with Rey, no one suspected a thing (though he and Rey believed Threepio and Artoo may have had suspicions), and he continued to count his lucky stars every day. Sure, his work as a consultant didn’t pay as much as his previous job, and their modern, single story bungalow lacked the number of rooms, grandeur and history of Alderaan Manor, but they were comfortable. And with the fortune he had amassed before leaving the States, they would be comfortable for the rest of their lives.

They had gotten married before a judge on Rey’s eighteenth birthday, and Ben had lamented the fact that he couldn’t fulfill his promise to give her an intimate beach wedding in the Philippines, but Rey understood and was genuinely happy. What mattered most, she had said, was that they were finally husband and wife, and that they had Lucas.

As for Annie...she was no accident. Ben would have been happy with just one child, especially given the hardships Rey had to go through with their son, but it was Rey herself who had brought up the possibility of having another baby after they got married, and Ben couldn’t be happier.

It had taken longer for them to conceive this time. Three years almost, and they had been close to giving up, until the day Rey came out of the bathroom, beaming at Ben as she held up the pregnancy kit for him, and never had two red lines been such a joy to see.

Ben chuckled when he felt his daughter’s kicks. “I think she wants to come out and see the view too.”

“Yes, that she does.” The smile was obvious in Rey’s voice, but it was soon followed by a brief, contemplative silence. “Do you think we should tell them one day? About how we really came to be together?”

“Perhaps one day, when they’re old enough to understand,” Ben said softly. “When that time comes, it will come. But let’s just enjoy the now. That’s why it’s called the present. Because it’s a gift.”

Rey turned around in his arms, beaming up at him before cupping his face and pulling him down for a kiss. He was only too eager to oblige.

“I love you, Mr. Ben Solo.”

“And I love you, Mrs. Rey Solo.”

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. A happily ever after. Current age in the final chapter in the fic are 21 and 41 respectively.
> 
> Despite their happiness, it's a little sad that Ben had to break a promise, but getting married outside of their new home country was dangerous, as the Philippines has an extradition treaty to the US.
> 
> If you're wondering about where Ben and Rey live now, I'm not saying it's where they actually are because this is an AU, but I based it off an amalgamation of European countries--a bit of Switzerland, but mostly Bosnia and Herzegovina, where the age of consent is 14 and there are no extradition treaties with the US.
> 
> And....well, what can I say? It's been sort of long, sort of short five months of writing (since January of this year) and after writing nearly every day and posting every other day...it's all over. And I'm getting emotional, but I've shed my tears. They're happy tears though, because not only was I able to finish this fic which is dear to me, I met great people along the way and had awesome readers like you joining me on this journey. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! It's been a really fun ride and you guys, your support, your comments, your presence has all made it worthwhile.
> 
> Thank you for reading Blossoming dear fellow reylos, and I hope you will join me on my next ride, whatever it may be. Thank you once more, and for now, secretreylo is signing off.
> 
> Until the next journey!

**Author's Note:**

> Visit me at secretreylo.tumblr.com


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